Soul-mates?

[Canonymous]

I'd like to hear peoples' opinions on the matter of soul-mates.

[ChristsLight]

Originally Posted by Canonymous

I'd like to hear peoples' opinions on the matter of soul-mates.

What makes you think there's a soul with which to be mated?

What is your definition of soul mates? We will start there.

[Keiju]

Well many vedic scriptures say your soul-mate is God


which I guess is ok but, more specifically, a "mate" is generally one of equal and God is a little too high to be "a friend".
As you may have noticed, God doesnt really give us the time of the day


As to whether we have "a perfect opposite", someone who fulfills our every desire as a partner of the opposite sex, I have yet to see myself.


Sounds incredible, I stay open to it, but am not depending on it. I can say there is a good chance we are connected to our soul-mate non-locally, which I have discovered upon self examination, and the closer you follow the path of heart/truth the closer you will come to that person. However it is difiicult for me to reveal too much .

[Andras]

I do not subscribe to the idea of a "soul-mate". Either you have an affinity with a person or you do not. There is no cupid shooting little arrows so you become a soul-mate. There is something I call simpatico - which means compatible personality. Usually like attracts like, but sometimes opposites attract, in matter of love. So you can call this a "soul-mate", but this has nothing to do with a soul, the higher spheres do not get involved with petty little things like this. God, especially, is not a person who will be your matchmaker. Thinking that is delusional grandeur, nobody's love/sex life is that important. Occasionally, you might meet someone who reincarnated and you had a prior connection in past lifetimes, that can be a strong "simpatico" and might feel like a "soul-mate".

Originally Posted by Canonymous

I'd like to hear peoples' opinions on the matter of soul-mates.

[Sekret Weapon]

soul mates aint about hook-ups so stop that noise immediatly.

it is wiser to consider that we roll through lifetimes with family members

but this too is conjectue

[RonSouther]

To me, a soul mate is someone whose presence is the ultimate in relaxation and is someone that is such an enticing mystery to explore. It's not enough to be relaxed but are you drawn into that person?

And when it's mutual, then what I see is that when problems do arise, there is a huge force that holds you two together so tightly that the egos suffocate. That each is highly motivated to try to figure out what happened to the love and that in turn leads to growth and maturity.

To me, a journey of love can't happen except between "soul mates" because that synergy so easily dissolves the egos and opens the minds to look into the mirror, to see where we can change vs. automatically blaming the other.

Without the deep harmony, the egos remain and the conflict emboldens them. Then we see what is typical in especially marriages, that each or one will try to dominate the other into submission in an effort to "solve" the problem.

To me, a soul mate is someone you can sit silently with, beaming, doing and saying nothing AND not feeling self conscious whatsoever.

It feels like you're alone inspite of being in the company of the other.

This is my favorite quote that describes what it would be like...

"When two lovers are really open to each other, when they are not afraid of each other and not hiding anything from each other, that is intimacy. When they can say each and everything without any fear that the other will be offended or hurt. . . . If the lover thinks the other will be offended, then the intimacy is ...not yet deep enough. Then it is a kind of arrangement, which can be broken by anything.

But when two lovers start feeling that there is nothing to hide and everything can be said, and the trust has come to such a depth where even if you don't say it the other is going to know, then they start becoming one." Osho

[Canonymous]

Originally Posted by ChristsLight

What makes you think there's a soul with which to be mated?

What is your definition of soul mates? We will start there.

My definition of soul mates could be found in an earlier post. Basically, it's someone who you can not only see yourself being with for the rest of your life, but for eternity. And this is BEFORE you fall in love. It's a definition that escapes most comprehension, but I only speak of it due to personal experience.

In regards to the knowledge of a soul, I have lived different lives within this one and know the difference between my mind, body, and soul. The three have different needs and wants, but all-in-all, it's my spirit that guides the 3.

[Canonymous]

Originally Posted by Keiju

Well many vedic scriptures say your soul-mate is God


which I guess is ok but, more specifically, a "mate" is generally one of equal and God is a little too high to be "a friend".
As you may have noticed, God doesnt really give us the time of the day


As to whether we have "a perfect opposite", someone who fulfills our every desire as a partner of the opposite sex, I have yet to see myself.


Sounds incredible, I stay open to it, but am not depending on it. I can say there is a good chance we are connected to our soul-mate non-locally, which I have discovered upon self examination, and the closer you follow the path of heart/truth the closer you will come to that person. However it is difiicult for me to reveal too much .

I hear you. I can tell you I've seen the perfect opposite, and not only for myself. And I agree, one shouldn't depend on it, for, more often than not, the endeavor ends (or proceeds) tragically. I'd have to say you're right about being connected; I've had some interesting experiences in that regard.

[ChristsLight]

Originally Posted by Canonymous

My definition of soul mates could be found in an earlier post. Basically, it's someone who you can not only see yourself being with for the rest of your life, but for eternity. And this is BEFORE you fall in love. It's a definition that escapes most comprehension, but I only speak of it due to personal experience.

Could you possibly see yourself being with someone for eternity right now, but 20 years down the road you no longer see that? Are you still soul mates, or was it false all that time?

How can you possibly know if you would want to be with one person for eternity, whatever you mean by that?

[Canonymous]

Originally Posted by Andras

Occasionally, you might meet someone who reincarnated and you had a prior connection in past lifetimes, that can be a strong "simpatico" and might feel like a "soul-mate".

How can it "feel" like something that doesn't exist? Also, if there is a prior connection in past lives, and the pair still happen to meet repeatedly, wouldn't it be a more-or-less logical assumption that the two souls are destined to influence one another?
I don't doubt that these "higher spheres" have better things to concern themselves with than pairing up two individual entities, and, in that same light, wouldn't that be something worth dabbling in? Even if it wasn't, the higher spheres don't necessarily have to be involved. This could be something that just is. A singularity (for lack of a better word), a mystery, an enigma.

[Canonymous]

Originally Posted by RonSouther

To me, a soul mate is someone whose presence is the ultimate in relaxation and is someone that is such an enticing mystery to explore. It's not enough to be relaxed but are you drawn into that person?

And when it's mutual, then what I see is that when problems do arise, there is a huge force that holds you two together so tightly that the egos suffocate. That each is highly motivated to try to figure out what happened to the love and that in turn leads to growth and maturity.

To me, a journey of love can't happen except between "soul mates" because that synergy so easily dissolves the egos and opens the minds to look into the mirror, to see where we can change vs. automatically blaming the other.

Without the deep harmony, the egos remain and the conflict emboldens them. Then we see what is typical in especially marriages, that each or one will try to dominate the other into submission in an effort to "solve" the problem.

To me, a soul mate is someone you can sit silently with, beaming, doing and saying nothing AND not feeling self conscious whatsoever.

It feels like you're alone inspite of being in the company of the other.

This is my favorite quote that describes what it would be like...

To be frank, I love this quite very much.

[Canonymous]

Originally Posted by ChristsLight

Could you possibly see yourself being with someone for eternity right now, but 20 years down the road you no longer see that? Are you still soul mates, or was it false all that time?

How can you possibly know if you would want to be with one person for eternity, whatever you mean by that?

It's not so much a matter of wanting, but knowing. Like living your entire life thinking you are whole and then meeting the one person who is your other half. There is no romance or lust involved, just pure mathematics. The only other piece to a 2-part puzzle.
To answer your 20-year question, I figure those 20 years would be the most beautiful 20 years of my life, and afterward I would retire from humanity and live the rest of my days reminiscing and sharing whatever little knowledge I possess with all who care to listen.

[ChristsLight]

Originally Posted by Canonymous

It's not so much a matter of wanting, but knowing. Like living your entire life thinking you are whole and then meeting the one person who is your other half. There is no romance or lust involved, just pure mathematics. The only other piece to a 2-part puzzle.
To answer your 20-year question, I figure those 20 years would be the most beautiful 20 years of my life, and afterward I would retire from humanity and live the rest of my days reminiscing and sharing whatever little knowledge I possess with all who care to listen.

I've seen people who knew that they were perfect for each other. Then 15-20 years later, they get divorced. Far from "retiring from humanity," they still see a need to move on and perhaps find someone else, healing from the hurt that occurred in the prior and once "perfect" relationship.

Your view is rather romantic, but it just doesn't seem realistic to me.

Worldly love will always be imperfect, however great it seems to be at the time.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by ChristsLight

I've seen people who knew that they were perfect for each other. Then 15-20 years later, they get divorced. Far from "retiring from humanity," they still see a need to move on and perhaps find someone else, healing from the hurt that occurred in the prior and once "perfect" relationship.

Your view is rather romantic, but it just doesn't seem realistic to me.

Worldly love will always be imperfect, however great it seems to be at the time.

It's a paradox that the best way to protect the love that is there is to let it go...allow what "is" to be there as a blessing and allow what "isn't" to also be there without any pressure to get the other to conform to your likings.\

For example, if one person like sports but the other doesn't...let it go, don't try to find a way to make the other like sports...to do so kills the moment of love.

[ChristsLight]

Originally Posted by RonSouther

It's a paradox that the best way to protect the love that is there is to let it go...allow what "is" to be there as a blessing and allow what "isn't" to also be there without any pressure to get the other to conform to your likings.\

For example, if one person like sports but the other doesn't...let it go, don't try to find a way to make the other like sports...to do so kills the moment of love.

Yes exactly. I think that love is a giving of self. There is no requirement of the other person. Of course you can choose no longer to be with them if they do something stupid like become abusive, but love does not require the other person to be any particular way.

People can be "perfect" for each other, but the love can be torn apart by the need to have the other to be something different than they are right now. In fact I think this is the root of most marital problems.

I do believe in marriage, but I have a problem saying that it necessarily needs to be eternal, or even sometimes an entire lifetime. Like with Steve and Erin, they were perfect for each other for a while, and then found that they were on different paths, and the natural thing was to separate.

Something I wonder is that if everyone had no ego, whether marriage would even be necessary.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by ChristsLight

Something I wonder is that if everyone had no ego, whether marriage would even be necessary.

It wouldn't be necessary. Love is the only real bond in life anyhow. No vows protect what isn't there and no vows are needed when a deep love is there.

In the end, the mind can't make promises that the heart won't keep.

Marriage is an ego, a belief system that we identify with. Marriage is the greatest destroyer of love as the rules are enforced on each other.

[ChristsLight]

Originally Posted by RonSouther

It wouldn't be necessary. Love is the only real bond in life anyhow. No vows protect what isn't there and no vows are needed when a deep love is there.

In the end, the mind can't make promises that the heart won't keep.

Marriage is an ego, a belief system that we identify with. Marriage is the greatest destroyer of love as the rules are enforced on each other.

This is perfect, an I very much agree.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by ChristsLight

This is perfect, an I very much agree.

my brutha, relatings are always simply just two beings (and unfortunately all the voices in their heads like marriage)

[siryessir08]

Originally Posted by ChristsLight

Could you possibly see yourself being with someone for eternity right now, but 20 years down the road you no longer see that? Are you still soul mates, or was it false all that time?

How can you possibly know if you would want to be with one person for eternity, whatever you mean by that?

Yes I would say that you are still soul mates. Depending on how much a person is living it would make sense to break up. If both parties are following the path they, dare I say, expected prior to incarnation I don't see this happening... but let's say one individual found their life's purpose while the other did not should they stay together? Even if their values/goals conflict?

Your higher self is impartial to these things and in the grand scheme our lifetime is very short so breaking up for 50 years is really just going out to the grocery store.

[Canonymous]

Originally Posted by ChristsLight

I've seen people who knew that they were perfect for each other. Then 15-20 years later, they get divorced. Far from "retiring from humanity," they still see a need to move on and perhaps find someone else, healing from the hurt that occurred in the prior and once "perfect" relationship.

Your view is rather romantic, but it just doesn't seem realistic to me.

Worldly love will always be imperfect, however great it seems to be at the time.

Reality is dirty, twisted and false. It has no business meddling with my love. I do agree that worldly love is imperfect, so much so that i'd dare to say i'd rather not degrade the bond between soulmates in this life. It may be romantic, but these are the things that forge who we are.

[Andras]

Yes, two souls might be destined to influence each other for the sake of clearing out karmic baggage and because sometimes souls have unspeakable influence on each other but the mundane word "soul mate" implies something (at least to me) trite and mundane. Like boy meets girl and they are to be together blah blah..

Originally Posted by Canonymous

How can it "feel" like something that doesn't exist? Also, if there is a prior connection in past lives, and the pair still happen to meet repeatedly, wouldn't it be a more-or-less logical assumption that the two souls are destined to influence one another?
I don't doubt that these "higher spheres" have better things to concern themselves with than pairing up two individual entities, and, in that same light, wouldn't that be something worth dabbling in? Even if it wasn't, the higher spheres don't necessarily have to be involved. This could be something that just is. A singularity (for lack of a better word), a mystery, an enigma.

[ChristsLight]

Originally Posted by Canonymous

Reality is dirty, twisted and false. It has no business meddling with my love. I do agree that worldly love is imperfect, so much so that i'd dare to say i'd rather not degrade the bond between soulmates in this life. It may be romantic, but these are the things that forge who we are.

A love between two people is always imperfect by nature. This is what I mean by worldly love.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by ChristsLight

A love between two people is always imperfect by nature. This is what I mean by worldly love.

and a journey of love is the process of perfecting that imperfect love...it's a love/hate relating...less and less hate (selfishness) as ignorance is transformed into intelligence.

[Midnite]

I believe in soul mates. I don't necessarily believe you will meet your soul mate in 'every' single lifetime you experience, but a pairing certainly occurs quite more often than not.

Often when we embody, our physical selves, our egos, our personal identification distorts our pure frequencies and it leads to a lot of dismay. There is no question that our environment affects us in one way or another. Often the pairing breaks down for whatever reason it may be. Two souls who have paired with each other more often than not nonetheless.

[ChristsLight]

Originally Posted by RonSouther

and a journey of love is the process of perfecting that imperfect love...it's a love/hate relating...less and less hate (selfishness) as ignorance is transformed into intelligence.

A finite thing cannot become infinite, no matter how much you add to it. 1,000,000,000,000 + 1 = 1,000,000,000,001. It never equals infinity.

Imperfect love can never become perfect Love. Imperfect love involves two people: subject and object. Perfect Love can have no subject and no object, as they are dissolved in One. You cannot love someone so much that you love them perfectly—this is like adding 1 and expecting infinity. You can simply allow perfect Love to be, and it must by its very nature infuse all relationships, with others and with yourself.

[TuningIn]

If something can be conceived, it can be received.