Coming out of the spiritual closet?

[SethWilliams]

One thing that is stopping me from connecting with people is the fact that a huge part of who I am is my spirituality, and I keep that to myself.

Im afraid of telling people about my beliefs and the spiritual work I do. And it keeps me at a distance from people. I want to change this,

At the same time I guess im afraid to come out of the spiritual closet. Coming out as a gay is a 100x easier then this for some reason.

Does anyone have any stories they have about, well how they shared there spiritual side and spiritual work with people?

[Arz Sra]

One thing that is stopping me from connecting with people is the fact that a huge part of who I am is my spirituality, and I keep that to myself.

This is the case with me but I don't keep it that way. Where is the problem exactly?

Im afraid of telling people about my beliefs and the spiritual work I do. And it keeps me at a distance from people. I want to change this,

How can it keep you at a distance?

At the same time I guess im afraid to come out of the spiritual closet. Coming out as a gay is a 100x easier then this for some reason.

Are you confusing 'magical' with spiritual here ?

Does anyone have any stories they have about, well how they shared there spiritual side and spiritual work with people?

Well, if one is spiritual then it emanates from each word ( unless some technical matter is being discussed). I have no problem sharing my views.

Sorry for so many questions - But I need to understand where exactly is the problem?

[Arz Sra]

I think you have some low self-esteem regarding the work you do. You tend to judge it from other peoples perspective. Right?

[ChildOfNone]

I keep mine to myself - and it is not about rejection even though that is a huge issue for me - it is about protection. I keep my spiritual work and development to myself to protect it from attack and criticism.

[pianoperformer]

Seth, what are you afraid of?

I don't hide it. It is my life, so if people know me, they know my spirituality as well, because it is part of my life. I also know that I have something to offer people, so just a deep spiritual conversation with someone often turns into a healing session to discuss their issues in their life. This happened to me just last week.

But really, if they don't know my spirituality, they really don't know me. Sure I'm more than just that, but it is the underlying factor in everything I do in life. Someone will have a hard time understanding my motives in my actions if they don't know my spirituality.

When people ask what I do, I mention Christ's Light Ministries, and the healing and spiritual counseling I do, because that is what I do.

[pianoperformer]

Originally Posted by ChildOfNone

I keep mine to myself - and it is not about rejection even though that is a huge issue for me - it is about protection. I keep my spiritual work and development to myself to protect it from attack and criticism.

ChildOfNone, I mean this in love, but why defend your spirituality against attack? Does god need defense?

My personal thought would be that if you need to protect your beliefs, you are not really quite stable in them: you don't know if you totally believe them yourself, or are afraid that they might be wrong.

I'm not telling you that you are wrong for doing so, but just seeing if there might be another possibility that might allow you to be more authentic with others and causing you less stress. It's pretty stressful to defend your beliefs against attack.

[ChildOfNone]

piano performer - I don't defend them. I use them and believe them but I don't lay them out in the open - pearls before swine.

[SethWilliams]

Originally Posted by ChildOfNone

I keep mine to myself - and it is not about rejection even though that is a huge issue for me - it is about protection. I keep my spiritual work and development to myself to protect it from attack and criticism.

Hmm.

Im the same, but i dont want to be living in that kind of fear. I know deep down this is something that needs to be overcome.

Maybe i just have to face the fact that i will be rejected by some people.

I guess it comes down to an even deeper fear of being alone.

[pianoperformer]

Originally Posted by SethWilliams

Im the same, but i dont want to be living in that kind of fear. I know deep down this is something that needs to be overcome.

Maybe i just have to face the fact that i will be rejected by some people.

I guess it comes down to an even deeper fear of being alone.

I think on this path, we're all rejected at one point or another. It isn't the "norm" in society, and abnormality is looked down upon.

Trust me that I know how it is. I go to a Catholic university, and I mean as Catholic as they come. But I still talk about my work, and surprisingly many people are open to it.

[SethWilliams]

Originally Posted by Arz Sra

This is the case with me but I don't keep it that way. Where is the problem exactly?



How can it keep you at a distance?



Are you confusing 'magical' with spiritual here ?



Well, if one is spiritual then it emanates from each word ( unless some technical matter is being discussed). I have no problem sharing my views.

Sorry for so many questions - But I need to understand where exactly is the problem?

I dont really confuse magical with spiritual. As someone whose experienced both perspectives I can make 100s of correlations between the two paradigms.

Magick, even though can seem shallow once fully involved in becomes an intensely spiritual journey. I couldn't imagine having one without the other.

My magical work is what I do, really. I am afraid to share that with people. Im very aware of this.

At the same time, I understand that I can't keep hiding it forever. I was looking for stories or advice from people about how they showed there spiritual side with people.

But thank you for your reply.

[pyrogen]

Originally Posted by SethWilliams

One thing that is stopping me from connecting with people is the fact that a huge part of who I am is my spirituality, and I keep that to myself.

Im afraid of telling people about my beliefs and the spiritual work I do. And it keeps me at a distance from people. I want to change this,

At the same time I guess im afraid to come out of the spiritual closet. Coming out as a gay is a 100x easier then this for some reason.

Does anyone have any stories they have about, well how they shared there spiritual side and spiritual work with people?

YES

Many of my friends are artists and tend to tolerate a wide variety of quirks and oddities and I'm not even comfortable coming out of the "broom closet" with THEM.

But outside of my own community, i find it hard to come out about huge parts of myself. I agree that coming out as gay is 100x easier and among my
friends, it's been no big deal. Whereas I know people who, if they knew that I in any way practice anything mystical, they would cease taking seriousy anything I said.

I find that either I'm out at the outset with people, or end up never coming out at all because there's never a natural way to bring it up in a conversation if the other person has no interest in the topic.

This was actually a major issue in my last relationship-attempt. She was hardcore atheist/skeptic and accepted mystical beliefs as long as one could explain them away, and i just never felt there was the opening to even admit I had these beliefs. I more or less stopped seeing her, and I feel strongly that I'm more likely to meet a potential partner in healing, yoga, PD or art circles, because I am not in the least going to be in the broom closet with a partner. I need to free to tell them about a trippy experience or 30 day trial.

[desertrat]

Look for a new age book store that is close to you . Most of the people that work and shop there are more open minded. desert rat

[SethWilliams]

Originally Posted by pyrogen

YES

Many of my friends are artists and tend to tolerate a wide variety of quirks and oddities and I'm not even comfortable coming out of the "broom closet" with THEM.

But outside of my own community, i find it hard to come out about huge parts of myself. I agree that coming out as gay is 100x easier and among my
friends, it's been no big deal. Whereas I know people who, if they knew that I in any way practice anything mystical, they would cease taking seriousy anything I said.

I find that either I'm out at the outset with people, or end up never coming out at all because there's never a natural way to bring it up in a conversation if the other person has no interest in the topic.

This was actually a major issue in my last relationship-attempt. She was hardcore atheist/skeptic and accepted mystical beliefs as long as one could explain them away, and i just never felt there was the opening to even admit I had these beliefs. I more or less stopped seeing her, and I feel strongly that I'm more likely to meet a potential partner in healing, yoga, PD or art circles, because I am not in the least going to be in the broom closet with a partner. I need to free to tell them about a trippy experience or 30 day trial.

I need the authenticity with people. Otherwise i feel like im living two lives, have two identities. Theres two me's. The accepted by society (just about) me and the actual me.

[SethWilliams]

Thank you all for the replies, its given me much to think about.

[ssandra]

What I realized is that most people I come across have exactly the same fears. To talk about what they believe.

So when I stopped being afraid and started sharing, others felt like they could open up to me as well. And they did.

I have had people have different believes of course, but I have never come across someone who rediculed me for what I believed or who didn't accept me because of that.

[cheesedip1]

Originally Posted by SethWilliams

I need the authenticity with people. Otherwise i feel like im living two lives, have two identities. Theres two me's. The accepted by society (just about) me and the actual me.

I'm kind of in this boat, right now, where I feel like I'm living in two worlds.

[MagicalRealist]

I keep my specific spiritual beliefs to myself.

The main reason is because they are constantly evolving. Ultimately, the answers to most spiritual questions are unknowable (at least within my limited human experience), so I see my "beliefs" as more like "my latest guess." They are constantly subject to change, given new information and experiences.

While my beliefs might not change in big ways all at once, over time the small tweaks and changes do add up--so if I told someone what I believed today, it would likely be very different two years from now. And many people aren't comfortable with that--even if they don't demand you follow a specific religion, they still expect consistency of belief.

So I rarely talk about my spiritual beliefs unless it's with someone else who understands that they are fluid and changeable, and why. There are a few core beliefs that have stayed stable over a long time (that we are all ultimately one, that we can choose our experience of reality, and that death is nothing to fear). But instead of talking about these beliefs, I've found it easier to simply act from them--to conduct my life accordingly. And if someone is interested in how and why I conduct my life as I do I'll discuss my beliefs, but only to a degree that is relevant to that situation and the person's understanding.

[desertrat]

I can stare at clouds and make them dissapear . I have asked a friend of mine to watch , he says that is a lot of b.s. I first knew I could this while hiking on saddle mountain around 20 years ago . I could move this cloud around , and thought how wild . desert rat

[redemption]

Originally Posted by SethWilliams

One thing that is stopping me from connecting with people is the fact that a huge part of who I am is my spirituality, and I keep that to myself.

Im afraid of telling people about my beliefs and the spiritual work I do. And it keeps me at a distance from people. I want to change this,

At the same time I guess im afraid to come out of the spiritual closet. Coming out as a gay is a 100x easier then this for some reason.

Does anyone have any stories they have about, well how they shared there spiritual side and spiritual work with people?

Do you feel the need to tell people about your beliefs?

If you are feelings nervous than share someone you trust first. Start in baby steps before you open up to people you are extremely nervous with sharing.

[elucidate]

I generally will be open about what I believe in with people I feel or intuit are open to different belief systems, and come from an attitude of genuine curiosity rather than 'I'm right, you're wrong" ego mentality. I've met quite a few people who know magick is real in my life already, so that has been good to not have to hide it with them. My blood relatives know what my beliefs are, and they are generally respectful, even if they think it's delusion.

If someone says to me that he doesn't believe in any of 'that spiritual mumbo jumbo" then I can allow him to think that, and say that I think some of it isn't crap...but won't go too into it with him because he obviously isn't open to hearing about it and will most likely just write me off as a nutcase, which, especially if he's the boss, isn't the smartest move unless I want to leave anyway.

It's not something I feel the need to talk about most of the time, but if the subject comes up with people I'm around at the time, I will participate...again, only if I feel they are respectful to different people believing in different things. There is no point in opening yourself up to ignorant people who think their way is the only one.

[oasis]

Yup, I can definately identify with this. My close family know what I'm truly like, but nearly everybody else is only of the opinion that I have slightly unconventional views. They are unaware of the true extent of my habits (journal writing, meditation, IM etc).

My advice to anyone out there with this problem there would be trying to mix a bit more with people who have similar interests to you, then you wont be so fearful of people you know rejecting and leaving you alone when you truly express yourself.

Not sure of the best places to meet people like us though - apart from this forum of course!

[RevDella]

I used to belong to a traditional religion which had very specific beliefs. Then I began to move along a more spiritual non-religious path. At first, I was frightened to share my beliefs with others. I was not only afraid of their reactions, but I guess on some level I still felt I would go to hell for my beliefs. (These were remnants from my previous religion.)

Now I have grown to the point where I gladly share my spiritual beliefs with others. It is pretty hard for me to hide my spiritual life since I am a minister. When people ask me what type of minister I am, I explain it in terms they can understand. They usually agree and tell me what their beliefs are.

I have come across people (mostly on the web), where I was told that I would go to hell because I did not believe in a specific religion. (Some people can really get bent out of shape over the topic.) That is when I calmly let them know that Spirit is love and there are many paths to Spirit. I usually don't hear from them after that.

Della