How to find my purpose in life?

[yuan]

Hello everyone,

Hi, I am new here and I need help finding life purpose.

I read "The meaning of life: Part 1 Intro" and the article suggested that "If you want to understand what you truly believe, observe your actions."

So what are my actions? Nothing exciting. I am an international student studying Accounting and Finance in Australia. I study hard because my parents pay for everything I use in Australia and I don't want to fail a subject and waste their money. I do not have a job because I am lazy and do not want to work as a labour. I do not have many friends because I cannot afford to waste time having fun. So what I do daily is just study study study and when I am bored, I watch TV, browsing internet, call mum, or spend some time with my boyfriend.

Everyone consider me as a good student because I usually get high distinctions. But I know I don't love Accounting, that was mum's choice so I had to study that's all. Also I do not know what I should do after I graduate (my lecturer was impressed with my results and suggested doing a honours degree, I did not like the idea as I don't know what my research topic in ACCOUNTING would be) and I don't know what I want to become in the future (maybe sit CPA exams and become a public accountant?!).

I am really desperate to find a purpose in life because I think this would enable me to live more consciously and happily, eventually I will be able to achieve what I want in life.

This is why I am here and I request you to help me.

My question is: What should I observe from my boring routines? (Being a good student? A good accountant? A good daughter? Or what?) How do my actions now relate to my goal in the future? What steps I should follow to find my life purpose? Can someone tell me please?

Mum always says that I am a student so I should concentrate on my studies. So I shut up and study hard. But inside my heart I wish I could have a life purpose which I can think of everyday and working hard towards it. I really hate living without a purpose.

Thank you all for giving me advice. All the best for everything.

Kind regards,

Yuan


p.s. I read "How to find life purpose in 20 mins" and tried the method for 30 min without success. All I can think of when I was in the process was: study hard, get a good job, make mum and dad happy, be nice to people etc. But these are not making my cry so I don't think these things deserve the title 'life purpose'. So please help me, please! Thank you very very much!

[Michelle]

What does your inner child say when you ask him?

When I ask mine she says: "your purpose in life is to have fun and play!".

And I do this everyday through singing.

[ZendEgo]

If you find accounting boring why dont you study something else? Or if you are bored in other areas of your life why not find new interests or hobbies? Theres a plethora of mental stimulation to be had in this world. Maybe you do need more friends and should be more outgoing?

[Akashic_Librarian]

Yuan it sounds like you enetered into that degree for the totally wrong reasons! Don't do something because yoru parents want you to. What good does that do you?

I do not have many friends because I cannot afford to waste time having fun.

Ok stand up, go out of your flat, apartment, dorm whatever and GO AND GET SOME FRIENDS NOW!

I can't stress this enough, get friends or you will make yourself ill. You will get stressed, tired, ill and eventually DEAD. Its not a joke. Its dead serious.

Now accounting wouldn't be my first choice and it sounds like it wouldn't be yours either:

So what are my actions? Nothing exciting. I am an international student studying Accounting and Finance in Australia. I study hard because my parents pay for everything I use in Australia and I don't want to fail a subject and waste their money. I do not have a job because I am lazy and do not want to work as a labour. I do not have many friends because I cannot afford to waste time having fun. So what I do daily is just study study study and when I am bored, I watch TV, browsing internet, call mum, or spend some time with my boyfriend.

Everyone consider me as a good student because I usually get high distinctions. But I know I don't love Accounting, that was mum's choice so I had to study that's all. Also I do not know what I should do after I graduate (my lecturer was impressed with my results and suggested doing a honours degree, I did not like the idea as I don't know what my research topic in ACCOUNTING would be) and I don't know what I want to become in the future (maybe sit CPA exams and become a public accountant?!).

You are afraid to hurt other people. Your parents are guilting you into doing what they want because they are paying. Tell them to take their money back. Tell them you have your own life to live. Not theirs.

DON'T BECOME AND ACCOUNTANT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO. But I also suggest you suck up your pride and get a crappy job to earn some cash. Money is money is money right? Who cares where it comes from at your age. Start another degree in something you care about. Or go otu and travel the world. Do what you love, loe what you do and don't listen to other people!

[ZendEgo]

Yeah sounds like some new friends is exactly the kind of stimulation you need. Even if you only get on with 10% of the population, might as well find those ppl and have some fun.

[Shamou]

Hello Yuan...

Life is multi-dimensional... that is, we all wear multiple hats... like, you now wear the hat of a student... a daughter etc...

It is also evident that you have above average intelligence, talent and dedication... all of that being said, here is my advice to you...

You should look at accounting as the tool... and, contributing to mankind as your ultimate purpose... (your two main hats)

And, the best contribution that anyone can give is teaching by being an example to admire and emulate... So, you work on yourself... (your main objective) and strive to become the person that would inspire others...

What you do is only the tool to achieve who and what you want to become... in your case... studying and accounting are the tools... and, you are the "marble" that you have to chisel in order to achieve your ultimate destiny... contributing and helping others...

The very best of luck to you...

.

[BanditFlyer]

Originally Posted by yuan

How do my actions now relate to my goal in the future?

What is your goal in the future?

Originally Posted by yuan

What steps I should follow to find my life purpose? Can someone tell me please?

Accounting doesn't seem to be where you want to be, so I would run from it as soon as possible, just based on mistakes I've made in my own life. As to finding your life purpose, I haven't got much in the way of suggestions. What do you enjoy?

Originally Posted by yuan

p.s. I read "How to find life purpose in 20 mins" and tried the method for 30 min without success. All I can think of when I was in the process was: study hard, get a good job, make mum and dad happy, be nice to people etc. But these are not making my cry so I don't think these things deserve the title 'life purpose'. So please help me, please! Thank you very very much!

I'd like to read "How to find a life purpose in 20 mins". Where do I find it?

[Yukio]

Hello.
Maybe you just need some friends and cool forums ...

Later you could find how do do some business.
Know How and Know Why are very nice!
Some persons only found the first ...

[Yukio]

Maybe you just need some (Good) friends and some money.
With the correct stimulus , most people would be 'fine' ...

About Hats. Even for the ones that like to use Panama Hats, without explanations this should not be very useful. Sure there is a lot of people that would be siblings or 'good friend' , persons that are close enought could be a pleasure in your life. Joy the good things that are around you.
Even if some people believe in Hats from the other plane that are supposed to 'never be wrong' to chose a right name for a friend or to help someone in trouble, this is not explained into some circles , most of the time only the inner members knew about it. Unless if it is a media 'joke' ... Like putting a name or a profession out of the Hat.

About Panama and Panama Hats, the secret is to not talk before you have something done. Example Panama Channel.

[ZHereford]

Hello Yuan,
It sounds like you have a bit of a dilemma!
Your parents are paying for your education so you feel obliged to take the subjects they want you to take.

Have you thought about what you are really interested in?
You should start with figuring out what subjects you would enjoy. Then maybe you should approach your parents and let them know how you feel.

When you make choices based on what other people want, you are not being true to yourself and will probably be unhappy with what you are doing.

Oh, and you do need friends. Maybe this forum will provide that for you if you don't have time for anything else.

Good luck Yuan!

[Jacobm]

Originally Posted by yuan

p.s. I read "How to find life purpose in 20 mins" and tried the method for 30 min without success. All I can think of when I was in the process was: study hard, get a good job, make mum and dad happy, be nice to people etc. But these are not making my cry so I don't think these things deserve the title 'life purpose'.

It sounds like you haven't got past the initial mental barriers of "clear[ing] your head of all the clutter and the social conditioning about what you think your purpose in life is" (as Steve Pavlina puts it). These answers seem like the "false answers [that] will come from your mind and your memories", that have been put there by OTHERS and not by yourself.

Don't forget, for many if not most people, this process will take far longer than the 20 minutes it took for Steve. It could easily take an hour or longer - Steve said it could even take 5 sessions! I think this quote of his (from the comments section) is particularly pertinent here:

You need to let go of your attachment to what you expect to find in that circle. The true answer lies elsewhere; you're only circling a false pre-conditioned answer, which is why you can't get it to converge inside that circle. Just loosen up a bit on your expectations, relax your mind, head off in a new direction, and keep typing answers, one after another. You have to empty your cup first before you can fill it. The true answer always seems to come just a bit past the point where you're ready to give up."

Maybe it's worthwhile to keep at this method for a while longer, so you can get past the initial barriers and conditioning. You might also find The Meaning of Life: Discover Your Purpose article helpful.

Originally Posted by BanditFlyer

I'd like to read "How to find a life purpose in 20 mins". Where do I find it?

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...ut-20-minutes/



All the best,
Jacob

[Calvin Woon]

I always depend on God to lead me towards the right direction and finding my purpose. Since he's the creator of all things, he knows what is best for me. And I find great comfort in knowing that God is always there.

[Stu]

This might sound a little repetative considering all the great advice thus far but I think you should get your priorities in order! Work and a professional life are all well and good but nobody ever died wishing they had put in more hours at the office, or worked harder on that degree they didnt really want.

Instead, you should go out and devote some time to doing things that you want to do, whether its finding some more friends or taking some classes your genuinely interested in, because experience is the spice of life!

[yuan]

Hello everyone, this is Yuan again~

First of all I would like to thank all of you who replied. I really appreciate this. You are all very kind, you try to understand me and give me really good advice. It is hard to find people like you guys and I feel very happy to read the posts again and again. Thank you!!!!!!

Yes you are correct that I don't enjoy Accounting. But I haven't discontinued my degree because I managed good results till date and I feel encouraged sometimes. After all, no student dislikes good marks.

Another thing is that CPA held a seminar on campus yesterday and I got quite a bit attracted to the salary, according to them if I have CPA title I would make around AU$80,000 if I work in Australia. I'd be really happy if I can earn that much!

But I REALLY WANT to have a life purpose!!! This is more important than just a job, if I work in a job which I really enjoy, maybe I get both the happiness and enough money, both can be used to fulfill my life purpose.

I just don't know, WHAT is it and HOW do I find it?

To decide this I would love to go out travelling to see the world but I cannot walk away from the uni at this stage because I am an international student and a condition of the student visa is studying full-time while physically remain in Australia.

Maybe I should spend time with my friends. But people around me are not as nice as you guys, they only think from their perspective and they would come to me only when they are bored with others. And they just want to spend time- yes, just to LET TIME PASS. Others only come if they want help with their studies. I like to help people especially in things I am good at, i.e studies, but they don't seem to have any appreciation and they just don't come to me when their studies are fine. (Please pardon me, I like to receive praises that's why I want to be a good student) I don't think I have real friendships that I've dreamed of.

So maybe I should meet more new people? But no one is really interested in others, especially that I am not an Australian and when they started talking things like the footy(rugby) and jokes, I don't know many things and therefore I listen most of the times. It is fine with me and I do enjoy listening to them, but at the end of the day, I still did not make a new friend because nobody noticed me as I cannot talk funny jokes that deserve the attention.

Actually my nature is quite inquisitive and I am always interested in knowing different things, but this is not liked by others because everyone seems so busy and no one really likes to hear questions - except academics I guess. That is why the person whom I talks to the most (apart from family and my boyfriend) is a lecturer (the one who recommended me for Honours study) because he likes my nature of being inquisitive. Sadly I do not have any other person whom I can really talk to at my age.

Can anyone please give some more advice? How to develop and mantain a good friendship? And where and how should I meet new people and start making friends? Maybe I must develop new interest in order to make friends, should I read a book or attend a beginners' class in the community college or what??

Oh and finally I did talk to my parents about my thoughts (I didn't say I considered discontinuing my studies, I don't want to make them worried back home), Mum says now I am only studying the theory that's why it is boring. Later when I start work my experience would be different and it may become interesting. She suggests me to continue studying and get a job in the industry after graduation. If after that I still don't like it, then she will allow me to study or work in any area I prefer.

I think maybe I should obey her, because this is the fastest way I can give them some money from full-time work (Although they say they don't need me to repay anything, but still I want to free myself from the mental obligation). So I will keep study hard and somehow find some more friends????!!! (Please tell me how, please!!) Then I will take a break and really think about what I like to do for my life (I'd love to travel to other countries) but I fear that might be too late...

Please give comments about what I said. Thank you very much. You are all nice people, may all the good things happen to you.

Thank you again for your help. Wish you every success in whatever career you are commited to and all the best!!!!

Kind regards,

Yuan

[ZHereford]

Hi Yuan,
I'm glad that you are enjoying the forums and the comments.

I agree that now that you are so deeply into accounting you might as well finish it and besides you wouldn't want to worry your parents too much.

If you really don't like it, I don't know how much more exciting it will be when you get a job in it. Maybe it will lead to something you really do enjoy. I think your plan to work, make some money and travel is a good idea.

What really interests you Yuan?

You sound like a warm, charming person so don't be afraid to approach people you want to be friends with (you must meet many people in your classes). If there is a coffee shop on campus, a library or book store and if you are looking at the same books you could start a conversation with someone and ask if they've read a certain book.

If there are school clubs or organizations maybe you can join to meet new people.

Take some time to watch a current movie, read a book or watch a sport so that you can have something to contribute to a conversation. You may find that you really enjoy enjoy taking interest in new things. It will make you a more well rounded person too.

All the best to you.

[ken nubo]

I found my purpose in life in a fortune cookie =^_^=

But really, just tend to that strong desire you want to do with your life, instead of settling for the second best ie, what you're socially conditioned to do.

[Groundless]

Nothing exciting. I am an international student studying Accounting and Finance in Australia. I study hard because my parents pay for everything I use in Australia and I don't want to fail a subject and waste their money. I do not have a job because I am lazy and do not want to work as a labour. I do not have many friends because I cannot afford to waste time having fun. So what I do daily is just study study study and when I am bored, I watch TV, browsing internet, call mum, or spend some time with my boyfriend.

These seem like your values and beliefs about yourself in the way you stated it. From my perspective, studying in Australia seems like an interesting opportunity to go out and see the Australian country

But I know I don't love Accounting, that was mum's choice so I had to study that's all.

It is ok if you don't love it and you are still searching. I graduated in Mechanical Engineering 20 years ago and I didn't overly like the classes. The reality of the workplace and school do not have much to do with each other. I suspect accounting school and real world business are the same.

What do you love to do? What are your skills that other people say you are good at? What could you do every day doing what you love and what you are good at that will increase the value for other people?

I am really desperate to find a purpose in life because I think this would enable me to live more consciously and happily, eventually I will be able to achieve what I want in life.

You can make it your number one goal to find your definite purpose. It lies within you. It is there if you listen and take the time and effort to get quiet and be still.

This is why I am here and I request you to help me.

Request granted. You have been helped. There is some very good advice in this thread.

My question is: What should I observe from my boring routines? (Being a good student? A good accountant? A good daughter? Or what?) How do my actions now relate to my goal in the future? What steps I should follow to find my life purpose? Can someone tell me please?

What do YOU observe from YOUR routines? If everything is exactly as it is meant to be (which it is), where are your lessons learned right now? I have not seen your stated future goal. Your actions right now are all that are real. Your actions or non-actions now are what matter. The future does not exist, the past does not exist, you exist now, what are you doing with the now?

Have you tried meditation to go within yourself? If you can get to that quiet pure place, the answers will lie there. It's a wondeful place to be.

Mum always says that I am a student so I should concentrate on my studies. So I shut up and study hard. But inside my heart I wish I could have a life purpose which I can think of everyday and working hard towards it. I really hate living without a purpose.

Mum's are like that. What does mum get out of you being an excellent student? Why is it important to her? How is your obedience to her helping you right now? What is there to be learned from this for you?

You have a life purpose, you just need to remember it.