(Being Transgender) I've had enough of this!

[Roaring Springs]

Hi, everybody, new to the forums.

It was kind of late when I posted this but I really want to get this off my chest.

So, I'm physically male, and I'm transgender as I have this ultra-strong desire to become female. There are those times when it has taken such a toll on me that I've considered making a deal with Satan, and/or removing myself from this world.

From what I have learned, there are consequences in the afterlife after committing suicide and the problems do not and will not go away. They only repeat themselves in the next incarnation. Me, spending another lifetime going through this? No, thanks.

The other reason why I decide against commiting suicide is because I have dreams I so greatly want to realize in this incarnation before passing to the next--few of those things being having a neardeath experience, an outofbody experience and manifesting my dream home, etc.

But it's troublesome and I want out! Please believe me when I say being transgender is a suffering torturing hell! It really is and I can't wait to live all my dreams and learn whatever it is I need to learn in this incarnation so I don't have to do this anymore.

For those wondering why I would want something like heart failure to kill me, is because it's an inspiration of back in 2007 when I had a medical emergency. It was a heart/lung related condition and it was quite serious. My mother was with me that night and I couldn't withstand the possibility that I might be dying. But one thing that she told me which really uplifted my spirit (which probably got me so up that I survived) that maybe I will be a girl in the next life. Long story cut short that is.

So with that being said, I don't want to die being murdered or anything like that. I do have this lump on the crown of my forehead. Is it cancerous? I don't know.

Would it be suicide if I ask for a short life and a specific method of death? I'm really do hoping for a short life so I have less time to go through what I'm going through now.

I can't count the number of times I've prayed that God would let me be a girl in the next incarnation. They say "seek and ye shall find," well... not that disagree with it. I do agree with it but I'm losing faith in God.

I've even did this "blueprint project". It's a blueprint of my next incarnation of who I would like to be, where I want to be born, and the places I live and schools I will attend as well as the bits and pieces of the expereinces I want to have. Then I placed a picture of this girl I want to look like in that incarnation. Then, I kept begging God that I would live that kind of life in my next incarnation.

I know I sound like a drama queen here, but I'm really desperate. No, I can't get a sex change.

I know they say "stay in the now" but it's just that I at least want to be sure I put this intention out there before passing over to the Spirit World.

[Arcanum]

I can't say I know what your experience is like, but I'm curious about the obvious intensity of the problem. I'm male, and I'm imagining if I were in a female body, it would be very odd, but I can't imagine it being cause for suicide. Though I don't identify myself as 'my body' so maybe it's different. Just curious.

[st33med]

First off, calm down, breathe, take a step back, and notice yourself. Instead of believing all your thoughts, listen to them but don't believe them.

Ask yourself:

Are you in pain? Is the need to become the opposite sex worth killing yourself over? Is there other ways to become satisfied with the body you are in without focusing on how you are not what you want to be?

[Mariana Trench]

Originally Posted by Roaring Springs

No, I can't get a sex change.

Why not? Is it money issues, or...?

[wstein]

I have known several transgendered people both pre and post transition. Yes they all describe it as agonizing made worse by little tolerance or understanding.

I’m not sure who is telling you about the consequences in the afterlife. The reincarnation cycle you seem to be referring to says that you have certain ‘lessons’ to learn before you can return to your divine form. If you don’t learn them in one lifetime, you keep getting reborn until you do. Most believers in this also say that most souls (people) take a great number of lifetimes to learn all the lessons. First of all, do you actually believe in the reincarnation cycle, if not, ignore them. Since it appears you do, I applaud your awareness that suiciding will not gain you anything. The way off wheel is to learn the lesson(s) so I suggest getting busy figuring out what the lessons are and learning them.

Just because you “can’t get a sex change” does not mean that you can’t live most of the time as your preferred gender. Depending on your physical location (cultural surroundings) this may require a relocation to a more understanding part of the world (yes they exist, I have been to some of them).

While I realize that having your body not match your internal sense of self is very distressing, there is more to being a particular gender than just your flesh. Even if you can’t ‘fix’ your physical form, you can still focus on the other parts of being the gender of choice.

FYI there a transgendered forums and support groups on line and in many places in the world.

[aelle]

I know there are/ have been other trans and gendrqueer members on this forum.
Is there a specific reason why you cannot (op or no op) live your life as a woman?

I have to ask since you mention a pact with satan, is your religion holding you back?

[Anthoneee]

If it helps, there are people that love you no matter who you are or desire to be, that don't judge you by the clothes you wear, your gender, etc; they see that invisible you in your head/heart and the rest is just your vehicle.

So do whatever you wish, I will love you regardless of any decision you make, even if you make no decision. I just want you to be yourself, and let me be myself, and embrace our individuality.

[Asten]

Let me start off by saying: you are a girl in this life. You are you. Your physical body does not define you. You are a woman right now, in this moment, because the you inside your body says you are.

It really is that simple--even though it feels like it isn't. The simplest things are often the hardest to embrace and live congruently with.

The idea of being our gender regardless of our body isn't an easy concept to be content with. I'm transgender myself, and when your body is so agonizingly different from the you inside, it can be utterly unbearable and you can want nothing more than to be transplanted (or reincarnated) into the right gender and give this present life/body up.

That isn't the only path. There is another path, and that path accepts that the outer body does not define us, and we are capable of living beautiful, fulfilling, purposeful lives as our truest selves regardless of our outer condition--that is a human path.

It isn't just people who are transgender who have body dysphoria. Any person who feels any kind of discomfort with their body, how they fit inside it, and how others see them because of it is experiencing dysphoria. Being unhappy with your weight, a facial feature, the shape of your body, how it functions, your height, etc. is a form of dysphoria too. We have to pursue self-love and peace with what we are physically in this moment to get over that limitation (which is an imperfect process--I don't mean to make it sound easy; it's something I struggle with everyday... some days it's easy, some days it's impossible).

Sometimes thinking about that makes it easier for me to deal with my body--realizing that to some degree nearly everyone (if not all) deals with a form of dysphoria, and they either reject it their entire lives, so it's always working against them and holding them back; or they accept their body for what it is, releasing them, and they exist and create their lives despite it.

Why can't you transition? Is it because of medical reasons? Family? Religion? Financial? Location? I ask, because sometimes we bar ourselves from the things we desire for others reasons rather than our own, often without realizing it.

I don't think there's anything wrong with asking to be incarnated as a physical female in your next life, so long as you ask for it to be done in the highest good of all (which, of course, includes you!).

And don't let your desires for your next life take away from living this one. Life is full of potential and possibility in every moment. You're beautiful and life is beautiful; grab that and run with it and achieve your highest desires. All that we need is already here, it's just a matter of learning to see it.

Anyway, I'm just throwing stuff out there--if it rings true with you, that's great, if it doesn't, reject it. I'm only hoping to help, so if it doesn't help, ignore it.

[ssandra]

Just want to let you know that you are loved very very much.

[Andrew Gubb]

I'm a girl too I don't have quite the same problem as you though, because I seem to be "gender-fluid" to some extent, and also it's not as strong as in your case. At the moment, I prefer to practise expressing my feminine side through this body. I can put flowers in my hair and wear cute clothes, and I can be gentle and nurturing, and I don't have to play competitive sports or pretend to be some sort of tough guy. It helps that I have friends who support me in this.

It's funny, yesterday - I don't know why particularly yesterday - two people mistook me for a girl! I wasn't wearing particularly feminine clothes and I even had a bit of a stubble. I guess I was just vibing it.

Like, I feel almost androgenous in identity. I know I have some masculine in me, so I saw that my path wasn't to become 100% totally feminine in all respects. Instead, I'm bringing the two halves together. I'm working on blending the two energies until you can almost not tell the difference between them.

But that may be just me. I can't say what other people's paths are. Particularly, you seem to be suffering a lot about this. I don't think I've suffered that much. I've looked at myself in the mirror and felt ugly a lot of times, a lot lot of times, but it doesn't haunt me. I feel like I'm working it out to some extent.

I don't know what the future holds - I still keep getting a sex change as a possibility - but I think nowadays I'll just wait till the next life.

I sometimes see this body as like a puppet I using. It's not a full expression of me, but hey - it works. I'm playing a game, I'm playing at being a man. Heck, it wouldn't be a total expression of me even if I were a woman. I don't have wings I'm just playing this game of life, undercover, secret ops, hiding inside a man's body. The smart people can see what I have inside. The others will just assume what they want to assume.

If I want to make it more of an expression of me there are lots of things I can do before doing actual surgery. Flowers in my hair, cute clothes, wearing my hair long, lots of things.

I even wonder if my body will change if I ask it to. I entertained that possibility before. I know some people have made it work. Google "biokinesis" if you want to learn more. You seem determined enough to make it work

Final thing - this is for a reason. It's really for a reason. You chose to have this challenge - or so I believe. Do you feel like you chose it? What do you think your higher self has to say about this situation?

I chose this body so that I could finish the work of integrating the two energies. A lot of old souls do. You can't complete your evolution until you know both.

I think you are allowed to have a preference in what body you incarnate in. You are allowed to learn masculine energy while still in a female body. But maybe this body was what you needed for whatever you wanted to learn or do.

I want to make a suggestion. K? Don't kill yourself until you know what your higher self had planned for you for incarnating in a male body. When you know your higher self's plans, you'll be in a better position to make an educated choice about what to do.

It's definitely doable to work this out. You can go to psychics, or you can journal, or meditate. Or go for a walk telling your higher self you want inspiration to come on this walk. Or you could do EFT with the stipulation to heal the block that prevents you from knowing what your higher self's plans are.

I had the idea to give you a link to Steve's post, How to Discover Your Life Purpose in About 20 Minutes . Try the same process with this question for your higher self.

Can you do this?

[Roaring Springs]

Originally Posted by Arcanum

I can't say I know what your experience is like, but I'm curious about the obvious intensity of the problem.

It's intense enough to make you shudder just thinking about it.

Originally Posted by Arcanum

I'm male, and I'm imagining if I were in a female body, it would be very odd, but I can't imagine it being cause for suicide. Though I don't identify myself as 'my body' so maybe it's different. Just curious.

Probably because you're not transgender yourself! You weren't born with this defect that I have. Lucky you.

Originally Posted by Asten

Let me start off by saying: you are a girl in this life. You are you. Your physical body does not define you. You are a woman right now, in this moment, because the you inside your body says you are.

Interesting! Next time I argue with someone who tries to tell me I'm male whether I like it or not, I'll use that to my advantage!

Originally Posted by Asten

The idea of being our gender regardless of our body isn't an easy concept to be content with. I'm transgender myself, and when your body is so agonizingly different from the you inside, it can be utterly unbearable and you can want nothing more than to be transplanted (or reincarnated) into the right gender and give this present life/body up.

I know! It's hell, isn't it!

Originally Posted by Asten

That isn't the only path. There is another path, and that path accepts that the outer body does not define us, and we are capable of living beautiful, fulfilling, purposeful lives as our truest selves regardless of our outer condition--that is a human path.

I'm on my path to work on and out things in this life so not only that I have this problem in the next one but also that, I live my life as according to my blueprint project.

Originally Posted by Asten

It isn't just people who are transgender who have body dysphoria. Any person who feels any kind of discomfort with their body, how they fit inside it, and how others see them because of it is experiencing dysphoria. Being unhappy with your weight, a facial feature, the shape of your body, how it functions, your height, etc. is a form of dysphoria too. We have to pursue self-love and peace with what we are physically in this moment to get over that limitation (which is an imperfect process--I don't mean to make it sound easy; it's something I struggle with everyday... some days it's easy, some days it's impossible).

I have a problem with almost all of the above. I have long feet and hands, (I'm 6ft tall but they look proportionate at least) and it's so uncomfortable when people point it out to me that I'd rather have artificial feet and hands.

Originally Posted by Asten

Sometimes thinking about that makes it easier for me to deal with my body--realizing that to some degree nearly everyone (if not all) deals with a form of dysphoria, and they either reject it their entire lives, so it's always working against them and holding them back; or they accept their body for what it is, releasing them, and they exist and create their lives despite it.

All I can say is that it's working against me. It's a torturing hell and it never ends.

Originally Posted by Asten

Why can't you transition? Is it because of medical reasons? Family? Religion? Financial? Location? I ask, because sometimes we bar ourselves from the things we desire for others reasons rather than our own, often without realizing it.

Let's see, I won't be able to get pregnant, have that "cycle" (I don't wanna go into detail, but I'm sure most of you know what I mean), so It's not worth all that money. I don't follow religion.

Originally Posted by Asten

I don't think there's anything wrong with asking to be incarnated as a physical female in your next life, so long as you ask for it to be done in the highest good of all (which, of course, includes you!).

I will but I've been suffering so much that it's been dawning on me that The Creator intended for me to suffer just for the sake of everyone else so I'm at the point where I could give a dang about everyone else's needs and only achieve what I want for my wellbeing.

Originally Posted by Asten

And don't let your desires for your next life take away from living this one. Life is full of potential and possibility in every moment. You're beautiful and life is beautiful; grab that and run with it and achieve your highest desires. All that we need is already here, it's just a matter of learning to see it.

Oh believe me, I'm doing all that I can to live all my dreams in this life and to me, nothing else matters.

Originally Posted by Asten

Anyway, I'm just throwing stuff out there--if it rings true with you, that's great, if it doesn't, reject it. I'm only hoping to help, so if it doesn't help, ignore it.

Okay! I'm glad you could be of service.

Originally Posted by ssandra

Just want to let you know that you are loved very very much.

Thank you.

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

I'm a girl too I don't have quite the same problem as you though, because I seem to be "gender-fluid" to some extent, and also it's not as strong as in your case. At the moment, I prefer to practise expressing my feminine side through this body. I can put flowers in my hair and wear cute clothes, and I can be gentle and nurturing, and I don't have to play competitive sports or pretend to be some sort of tough guy. It helps that I have friends who support me in this.

Well, lucky you.

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

It's funny, yesterday - I don't know why particularly yesterday - two people mistook me for a girl! I wasn't wearing particularly feminine clothes and I even had a bit of a stubble. I guess I was just vibing it.

A doctor at CHOP (Children's Hospital of Philadelphia) mistook me for a girl, probably due to the cornrows in my hair, and much to my mother's dismay, I didn't bother correcting him. This was back in 2002 or 2003, I believe.

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

Like, I feel almost androgenous in identity. I know I have some masculine in me, so I saw that my path wasn't to become 100% totally feminine in all respects. Instead, I'm bringing the two halves together. I'm working on blending the two energies until you can almost not tell the difference between them.

You are the comeplete opposite of me. I'm so hellbent on being female, that I;m working to change every aspect of my personality to as feminine as possible. I even shave every few days even if it bleeds so much!

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

But that may be just me. I can't say what other people's paths are. Particularly, you seem to be suffering a lot about this. I don't think I've suffered that much. I've looked at myself in the mirror and felt ugly a lot of times, a lot lot of times, but it doesn't haunt me. I feel like I'm working it out to some extent.

I don't feel ugly at all. This is just a body that I DON'T WANT! That I SHOULD'NT HAVE!!!

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

I don't know what the future holds - I still keep getting a sex change as a possibility - but I think nowadays I'll just wait till the next life.

I'll wait untill the next life too! But I can't wait.

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

I sometimes see this body as like a puppet I using. It's not a full expression of me, but hey - it works. I'm playing a game, I'm playing at being a man. Heck, it wouldn't be a total expression of me even if I were a woman. I don't have wings I'm just playing this game of life, undercover, secret ops, hiding inside a man's body. The smart people can see what I have inside. The others will just assume what they want to assume.

For me, it's a mask I can't seem to take off.

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

If I want to make it more of an expression of me there are lots of things I can do before doing actual surgery. Flowers in my hair, cute clothes, wearing my hair long, lots of things.

I'm shaving off all my body hair. No wait, I'm ordering some of that hair removal spray and I'm wearing eye shadows and other thigns.

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

I even wonder if my body will change if I ask it to. I entertained that possibility before. I know some people have made it work. Google "biokinesis" if you want to learn more. You seem determined enough to make it work

Oh, yes! I am so there!

[Roaring Springs]

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

Final thing - this is for a reason. It's really for a reason. You chose to have this challenge - or so I believe. Do you feel like you chose it? What do you think your higher self has to say about this situation? I chose this body so that I could finish the work of integrating the two energies. A lot of old souls do. You can't complete your evolution until you know both.

I believe that too. If I did, I must have made a terrible mistake. After this, I'm never being transgender again!

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

I think you are allowed to have a preference in what body you incarnate in. You are allowed to learn masculine energy while still in a female body. But maybe this body was what you needed for whatever you wanted to learn or do.

Oh, please let that be true. I'm not interested in learning masculine energy at all. I don't care if I needed it. I STILL WANT OUT!

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

I want to make a suggestion. K? Don't kill yourself until you know what your higher self had planned for you for incarnating in a male body. When you know your higher self's plans, you'll be in a better position to make an educated choice about what to do.

I won't kill myself at all because I know I can't.

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

It's definitely doable to work this out. You can go to psychics, or you can journal, or meditate. Or go for a walk telling your higher self you want inspiration to come on this walk. Or you could do EFT with the stipulation to heal the block that prevents you from knowing what your higher self's plans are.

I'm keeping a journal.

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

I had the idea to give you a link to Steve's post, How to Discover Your Life Purpose in About 20 Minutes . Try the same process with this question for your higher self.

Can you do this?

Will do! Thanks!

Originally Posted by Anthoneee

If it helps, there are people that love you no matter who you are or desire to be, that don't judge you by the clothes you wear, your gender, etc; they see that invisible you in your head/heart and the rest is just your vehicle.

It doesn't. Sorry.

Originally Posted by Anthoneee

So do whatever you wish, I will love you regardless of any decision you make, even if you make no decision. I just want you to be yourself, and let me be myself, and embrace our individuality.

Like hell I will!

Originally Posted by aelle

I know there are/ have been other trans and gendrqueer members on this forum.
Is there a specific reason why you cannot (op or no op) live your life as a woman?

I have to ask since you mention a pact with satan, is your religion holding you back?

See my responce to Mariana Trench.

I don't follow any religion, so no.

Originally Posted by wstein

I’m not sure who is telling you about the consequences in the afterlife.

This guy.

Originally Posted by wstein

The reincarnation cycle you seem to be referring to says that you have certain ‘lessons’ to learn before you can return to your divine form. If you don’t learn them in one lifetime, you keep getting reborn until you do.

Well, that makes perfect sense, there in lies the suicide thing! If you died without getting to live a certain dream or whathave you wouldn't you want to keep coming back until you got to expereience it? Exactly. That's why I want to be reborn into a female body, and not just any female body. I wanna be a certain race, be born in a certain place, go to certain schools, etc. As I did in my blueprint project, but I left a lot undecided that I will let The Creator take over from there.

Originally Posted by wstein

Most believers in this also say that most souls (people) take a great number of lifetimes to learn all the lessons. First of all, do you actually believe in the reincarnation cycle, if not, ignore them. Since it appears you do, I applaud your awareness that suiciding will not gain you anything. The way off wheel is to learn the lesson(s) so I suggest getting busy figuring out what the lessons are and learning them.

Yes, I do believe in the reincarnation cycle. And trust me, I'm on it!!!!

Originally Posted by wstein

Just because you “can’t get a sex change” does not mean that you can’t live most of the time as your preferred gender. Depending on your physical location (cultural surroundings) this may require a relocation to a more understanding part of the world (yes they exist, I have been to some of them).

And where might those places be?

Originally Posted by wstein

While I realize that having your body not match your internal sense of self is very distressing, there is more to being a particular gender than just your flesh. Even if you can’t ‘fix’ your physical form, you can still focus on the other parts of being the gender of choice.

Oh, I know I can and I so will!

Originally Posted by wstein

FYI there a transgendered forums and support groups on line and in many places in the world.

I know.

Originally Posted by Mariana Trench

Why not? Is it money issues, or...?

Yes, AND because my body won't be able to opperate like a female post the transistion. It's just not worth all that money.

Originally Posted by st33med

Are you in pain? Is the need to become the opposite sex worth killing yourself over? Is there other ways to become satisfied with the body you are in without focusing on how you are not what you want to be?

Yes, lots of it!

Probably not.

I'm not certain.

Thanks for the replies guys!

[Cochonette]

My heart goes out to you. I am not trans, so I am not sure what to say. Do you try talking to as many other trans people as possible? Maybe you will eventually find someone who can help you to feel better. I'd say a therapist who specializes in trans issues, but I know they can't necessarily be trusted with all the pathologizing of transsexualism.

[Arcanum]

That's why I want to be reborn into a female body, and not just any female body. I wanna be a certain race, be born in a certain place, go to certain schools, etc. As I did in my blueprint project, but I left a lot undecided that I will let The Creator take over from there.

The belief in reincarnation isn't very interesting but i'm fascinated with the idea that you believe you can define what you want and then allow God to fill in the details.

I'm also fascinated by the hell you've created in this 'incarnation'. The only way you know the body doesn't match the gender identity is by comparing yourself with others. If you were born on an island with similar transgenders you wouldn't know there was a problem and you'd be perfectly happy with the situation, yes? So you let others dictate your misery.

[Le Roi]

Do you hang out with other transgendered people? Do you communicate regularly with them on how to overcome the unique set of problems transgendered people face?

Have you met or talked to someone who's being successfully transgendered for a long time, and is very happy with their transgendered life? Have you asked such a person how to make it the transition successful?

You are by far not the first one. Many people have walked down your path. While it's not an easy path, it is one that others who've being there could help you.

[aelle]

By "living as a woman" I wasn't referring strictly to getting a sex change, but to living the entirety of your social gender as female (or as much of it as you are comfortable with). I mean changing your clothes, hairstyle, voice, first name, pronouns, etc. I know several transfolks who live that way and are much more comfortable, and are actually just fine being men with vulvas.
Would this bring you some peace?

[wstein]

Originally Posted by Roaring Springs

This guy.

I can see why you listen to him. Did not get to the reincarnation part. He has some valid points, but keep in mind this is just one opinion.

Originally Posted by Roaring Springs

And where might those places be?

I have been to San Francisco (lived 30 miles south for 17 years). One of my coworkers was MtoF (fully transitioned), an activist for transgendered rights. I was introduced to much of the sexually open culture by a bisexual. I also spent time (~ 1 year total) in central Colorado.

I have been to India. Though they are more tolerant than Western cultures, non straight persons are an underclass (as are many people there).

I have not been to Thailand, but one MtoF person I know (Atlantic coastal Florida) had gender reassignment surgery there (much cheaper). Sorry to hear you cannot benefit from this as she is fully sexually functional as a female. Her experiences there confirm what I have seen on TV that their culture is very tolerant of gender diversity.

------
Another thought, have you looked in to intersex? I know that is not your situation but a lot of the issues with other people are the same.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Roaring Springs

Let's see, I won't be able to get pregnant, have that "cycle" (I don't wanna go into detail, but I'm sure most of you know what I mean), so It's not worth all that money. I don't follow religion.

A woman isn't any less of a woman because she cannot get pregnant!!! A woman who is past her menopause isn't any less a woman because she doesn't have her cycle anymore!

If you truly want to be a woman, BE a woman. What that means to you! It isn't about outside stuff, pregnancy and bleeding and hurting once a month..

I have an IUD so i don't have a real cycle anymore either. That doesn't make me any less of a woman!

If it turns out that I cannot get pregnant, I won't be any less of a woman.

[Divajules]

Perhaps the experiences of Chaz Bono could help. He has this issue in reverse (born a woman but feeling like a man).

I admit I cannot relate to this at all but since Chaz can, it might help to check out his new documentary.

I say this because it usually helps me when someone else is having a similar experience to me. They at least can relate to you on the same level. Knowing you are not alone sometimes helps.

This must be very difficult and I wish you all the love and support I have as you try to work through it.

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by ssandra

A woman isn't any less of a woman because she cannot get pregnant!!! A woman who is past her menopause isn't any less a woman because she doesn't have her cycle anymore!

If you truly want to be a woman, BE a woman. What that means to you! It isn't about outside stuff, pregnancy and bleeding and hurting once a month..

I have an IUD so i don't have a real cycle anymore either. That doesn't make me any less of a woman!

If it turns out that I cannot get pregnant, I won't be any less of a woman.

Actually this is one of the things (besides the cost, risk and difficulty of it) which has put me off getting a sex change. Being able to have children is such a large part of the feminine experience... at least that's how I sense it.

That said, for someone like the OP I would totally recommend going forward with it. It may not be perfect but it's better than nothing. A barren woman is still a woman...

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

Actually this is one of the things (besides the cost, risk and difficulty of it) which has put me off getting a sex change. Being able to have children is such a large part of the feminine experience... at least that's how I sense it.

I'm sorry but that is complete BS. Being able to have children does not make you any more female.

What are women who cannot have children supposed to think? That they are no long women???

Your reasons for not having a sex change are your own of course. But the experience of being a female has nothing to do with being able to get pregnant or not.

That is why I would consider the OP a woman. No matter their parts, you are who you are on the inside.

[Cochonette]

Originally Posted by ssandra

I'm sorry but that is complete BS. Being able to have children does not make you any more female.

What are women who cannot have children supposed to think? That they are no long women???

Your reasons for not having a sex change are your own of course. But the experience of being a female has nothing to do with being able to get pregnant or not.

That is why I would consider the OP a woman. No matter their parts, you are who you are on the inside.

Good point. Maybe what the OP wants is not just to be a woman, but to be able to get pregnant. So that is the real issue.

[beast]

Originally Posted by ssandra

I'm sorry but that is complete BS. Being able to have children does not make you any more female.

What are women who cannot have children supposed to think? That they are no long women???

Your reasons for not having a sex change are your own of course. But the experience of being a female has nothing to do with being able to get pregnant or not.

That is why I would consider the OP a woman. No matter their parts, you are who you are on the inside.

Right on. Seems like many guys like to sculpt women in their own image when they speak of "the feminine experience".

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by ssandra

I'm sorry but that is complete BS. Being able to have children does not make you any more female.

What are women who cannot have children supposed to think? That they are no long women???

Your reasons for not having a sex change are your own of course. But the experience of being a female has nothing to do with being able to get pregnant or not.

That is why I would consider the OP a woman. No matter their parts, you are who you are on the inside.

What's with the angry reaction? I said that I would consider her a woman. Read my post again if you need convincing.

I also didn't say that not being able to get pregnant makes you not female. I said that being able to bear children is such a large part of the feminine experience.

[ZephyrusX]

For the record, I agree with Ssandra. I don't want children my self. This doesn't make me any less female or any less feminine. My own problem with what you are saying is that you are merely parroting the traditional Western gender structures that associate females with children and motherhood. There is so much more to being female and being feminine besides children and motherhood. Taking ownership of our sexuality and reproduction plays a large part of the female experience, yes. However, for many women, taking ownership of our sexuality and reproduction involves no children whatsoever. Either because we can't have them or because we don't want them.

Saying being able to 'bear children' and saying 'being about to control your own reproduction' are two different things. I prefer the latter mentality as it respects women's right to own their sexuality.

Sorry for the thread derailment.

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

What's with the angry reaction? I said that I would consider her a woman. Read my post again if you need convincing.

I also didn't say that not being able to get pregnant makes you not female. I said that being able to bear children is such a large part of the feminine experience.

[Andrew Gubb]

I don't think I'm parroting anything. But apart from that to each their own. Carry on!

[Roaring Springs]

Look.

I know not being able to get pregnant or have children doesn't make a woman any less of a woman.

I've written a novel about being transgender and I can't wait to get it published. I finished writing it in April and I'm waiting for my aunt to finish reading it so I can pubilsh it.

I planned on going through what I'm calling a half-transition: This thing between my legs, I'm getting removed. I'm getting my Adam's Apple reduced, and I'm working on changing my voice.

What I was trying to denote was that it isn't worth all that money if they can't make my body 100% female and function like a naturally-born female.

This all makes me sick. I'm so praying for a short life with just enough time to do all my dreams and stuff. This is unbearable.

update:
I've decided to keep a journal about my expereince with being in a girl in a guy's body.