How can you love love yourself when you feel like crap?

[HiImJeremy]

Was just wondering. I havent seen anything like this in a thread, curious about answers!

* edit. Not Love love as it states in the title. hahaha. had to giggle.

[Tam9]

You will have to be more specific because you can 'feel like crap' and still love yourself. No one feels great all of the time.

[spacecadetglow]

Know that the struggle itself is beautiful in its own right. Not everything has to be rainbows and unicorns to be worthwhile.

[relaXman]

Hi, Hi

I believe following thread which I have just opened would help you.

A Powerful Self-Love Exercise! Mirror Technique

[Anagogy]

Originally Posted by HiImJeremy

How can you love love yourself when you feel like crap?

The way you feel is in response to what you are focusing upon. So the answer would be to focus on yourself in a different way than you have been in the past.

Notice your good qualities and ponder them extensively. Savor those actions you are proud of and pay no attention to those you aren't. Beating yourself up for what you think you did wrong only makes the self hate worse. Attention is water, and the objects of attention are the plants that are being watered. Nourish only those plants you want growing in the garden of your soul.

As Buddha is rumored to have said, "You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection."

[Johnny Jay]

Man, that's a whopper of a question. It's been said that self love, no not THAT kind of luv, will be one of the greatest undertakings as a human being and is a life long process.

There are many different modalities and disciplines that work; you gotta experiment and find what works for you.

In intense moments I utilize Ho 'oponopono and it does the job

Love is within. God speed.

[Fred Tracy]

I think that you can't really love yourself without hating yourself too. If you have a sense of self that you're concerned with, then you'll sometimes feel good or bad about it depending upon your actions, or, more importantly, your thoughts.

I think transcending the need for a relationship with yourself and just BEing is one of the most important things you can do. Some people would say this is enlightenment. I hope to do this more fully every day.

That aside, emphasizing good and not considering bad works for me in the mean time. I have found that debating with myself just makes me feel bad. I tend to accept and let go of any bad thoughts these days about myself and I'm much happier than before.

[Shariku Onikage]

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

Know that the struggle itself is beautiful in its own right. Not everything has to be rainbows and unicorns to be worthwhile.

In fact if everything is always love and unicorns then that person is very possibly deluded and not in a proper state of happiness. For example, though my life is the best life ever and anyone who disagrees gets punched out onto a motorway there are still times where i'm sad or angry at something. Simply put, the positive cannot exist without the negative.

Often i find that a person who feels like their life is a bunch of crap is usually on the other side of this and not in a state of habit where they properly acknowledge the good in their life, instead choosing only to mull in all the crappier parts of their existence; either that or they're not creating opportunities for good in their life.

Regardless, a crap life is usually a matter of perspective. A lot of americans and europeans (weasel words, i apologise) think that life is bad and crime is on the increase and all sorts of issues usually relating to health, fear and financial stability, yet compared to places like Nigeria, we couldn't have it better, and still still they managed to keep smiling in the face of it all far better than most countries.

Believe me, we all still have problems and we shouldn't deny these just because others have it worse and yet still persevere and prosper. Just remember to keep track of the good in your life too. I''ll admit it's harder but only because we don't usually mull around thinking about how great a time we're having, for th simple reason that we're usually too busy have such a good time.

[Anthony1973]

A good place to start is to lower the expectations you place upon yourself (which are often influenced by the media and significant others).

If there is one thing in particular you dislike about yourself then ask yourself why, truly.

Who determines that the particular thing you dislike is unnatractive or wrong?

Loving yourself is not an ego thing, or pride, or indeed conceit. It is simply allowing yourself the unconditional love that you will rarely get from others.

Everyone deserves to be loved, including you.

When I die I shall soar with angels... when I die to the angels what I shall become you cannot imagine...

[Angela]

Have you ever loved someone when you felt like crap? Did feeling like crap prevent you from loving them?

[Cochonette]

Personally, I first had to decide that I wanted to love myself, even if I didn't at the time, even if I felt like and believed in much of my mind that I did not deserve love, that I hated myself, that I was for the most part a piece of crap. Part of me did believe that I deserved love - why else would I want love so badly? why else would I want to deserve love so badly? Eventually I came to the realization that the negative thoughts, the self-hatred, were, quite simply, pointless. They weren't taking me anywhere I could possibly want to be. So I said, I am going to do something that makes the most ultimate sense, the has an ultimate purpose, that ultimately inspires me and brings me joy and happiness... because that seems to be the only desirable direction to go, at the end of all things. Now, of course, I knew that my mind would keep rationalizing and rationalizing at these fears, the self-hatred, and tell me it was somehow justified. And yet I did not want to feel that way, period. I thought, even if I deserved to die, even if my life was not worth the trouble, wouldn't it make more sense to just kill myself rather than agonizing over it first? Because it wasn't really about whether my life was worth the trouble, but whether agonizing over it was... so I finally said, okay, I am going to try an experiment and see if I can love myself, and see what loving myself is like, before drawing the ultimate conclusion as to whether or not I deserved it... because once you experience that deep, abiding, unconditional and consciously chosen love of yourself for yourself, you may just realize that it is indeed what you want and what you deserve.

Give yourself a chance. Look yourself in the mirror a thousand times and say to yourself that you are beautiful and you deserve love and you love yourself. Don't require that you believe in it yet; only require that you give yourself a chance to feel what it's like to deserve love.

Love,
Cochonette

[NickTunes]

Originally Posted by Cochonette

Personally, I first had to decide that I wanted to love myself, even if I didn't at the time, even if I felt like and believed in much of my mind that I did not deserve love, that I hated myself, that I was for the most part a piece of crap. Part of me did believe that I deserved love - why else would I want love so badly? why else would I want to deserve love so badly? Eventually I came to the realization that the negative thoughts, the self-hatred, were, quite simply, pointless. They weren't taking me anywhere I could possibly want to be. So I said, I am going to do something that makes the most ultimate sense, the has an ultimate purpose, that ultimately inspires me and brings me joy and happiness... because that seems to be the only desirable direction to go, at the end of all things. Now, of course, I knew that my mind would keep rationalizing and rationalizing at these fears, the self-hatred, and tell me it was somehow justified. And yet I did not want to feel that way, period. I thought, even if I deserved to die, even if my life was not worth the trouble, wouldn't it make more sense to just kill myself rather than agonizing over it first? Because it wasn't really about whether my life was worth the trouble, but whether agonizing over it was... so I finally said, okay, I am going to try an experiment and see if I can love myself, and see what loving myself is like, before drawing the ultimate conclusion as to whether or not I deserved it... because once you experience that deep, abiding, unconditional and consciously chosen love of yourself for yourself, you may just realize that it is indeed what you want and what you deserve.

Give yourself a chance. Look yourself in the mirror a thousand times and say to yourself that you are beautiful and you deserve love and you love yourself. Don't require that you believe in it yet; only require that you give yourself a chance to feel what it's like to deserve love.

Love,
Cochonette

very nice post,, very inspiring to me

[HiImJeremy]

Originally Posted by Cochonette

Personally, I first had to decide that I wanted to love myself, even if I didn't at the time, even if I felt like and believed in much of my mind that I did not deserve love, that I hated myself, that I was for the most part a piece of crap. Part of me did believe that I deserved love - why else would I want love so badly? why else would I want to deserve love so badly? Eventually I came to the realization that the negative thoughts, the self-hatred, were, quite simply, pointless. They weren't taking me anywhere I could possibly want to be. So I said, I am going to do something that makes the most ultimate sense, the has an ultimate purpose, that ultimately inspires me and brings me joy and happiness... because that seems to be the only desirable direction to go, at the end of all things. Now, of course, I knew that my mind would keep rationalizing and rationalizing at these fears, the self-hatred, and tell me it was somehow justified. And yet I did not want to feel that way, period. I thought, even if I deserved to die, even if my life was not worth the trouble, wouldn't it make more sense to just kill myself rather than agonizing over it first? Because it wasn't really about whether my life was worth the trouble, but whether agonizing over it was... so I finally said, okay, I am going to try an experiment and see if I can love myself, and see what loving myself is like, before drawing the ultimate conclusion as to whether or not I deserved it... because once you experience that deep, abiding, unconditional and consciously chosen love of yourself for yourself, you may just realize that it is indeed what you want and what you deserve.

Give yourself a chance. Look yourself in the mirror a thousand times and say to yourself that you are beautiful and you deserve love and you love yourself. Don't require that you believe in it yet; only require that you give yourself a chance to feel what it's like to deserve love.

Love,
Cochonette

You indeed are beautiful and you do deserve love my friend as does everyone here. A very inspirational post which i think would benefit everybody

Much love and respect from me to you especially.

Thank you.
Jeremy.