12 Sympton of your Awakening Divinity

[demk]

Originally Posted by Dharma

You can resolve to live a painful process. Please don't try and make everyone believe they have to also. It's not necessary.

Recently I have been gaining more and more presence. Sometimes I come up against a pain inside me that isnt "shined away by the light of consciousness" (Probably quoting Eckhart Tolle there I think lol) and it lasts for hours. I get the sense that I should just be present with this long sadness as if it is cathartic. I have also heard that suffering should dissolve if you are present though...

Is this because I am present but not identified with the presence? I'm not sure. It seems cathartic as I say. What Do you think Pete?

[ElizaJ]

Good thread. I don't agree with the full list, but most are correct.

[CFPurpose]

PLEASE READ THIS FOLLOW UP POST FROM BEGINNING TO END. IT LOOKS LIKE SOME MAJOR CLARIFICATION IS IN NEED.


Great thoughts picked up here! Not sure why I wasn't alerted but I want to make something very clear. If you are continually experiencing signs of depression, if you are experiencing a LONG, HARD, lole that you cannot shake, this may not be a sign of enlightenment! Everyone needs to understand that we can't assume because some of the things on this list link to you personally, you are becoming enlightened. You yourself know if you are personally on a path of gaining extended spirituality and bettering yourself as apposed to walking through your life lost and sad.

I too had all 12 at the same time. That period of all 12 at the same time was only for a period of about a month 1/2. During that Month 1/2, I could check them all off. Now, I can check off only a couple and thank God they are more on the lighter side.

IF you can check off all 12 for an extended period of time, I'd try to speak to someone who can assist you in helping you out as apposed to encouraging you that you are doing just fine......


Here's a little bit of revisements, lets just call them "Crissy Revisements" and maybe it will help those of you who are confused to understand.


1. Body aches and pains, especially in the neck, shoulder and back. This is the result of intense changes at your Spiritual DNA level as the "Divine seed" awakens within.

-- These should not be continuous!! They are spontaneous. (You might notice upon your trying to become more aware and open your '3rd' eye, you will get slight headaches in the middle of your forehead.) IF THESE SYMPTOMS ARE CONTINUAL.. GO TO THE DOCTOR


2. Feeling of deep inner sadness for no apparent reason. You are releasing your past (this lifetime and others) and this causes the feeling of sadness.

-- This should not be continuous!! Let me repeat that. Should not be continuous. You will experience it but if you can't shake it.. GO TO THE DOCTOR.



3. Crying for no apparent reason. Similar to #2 above. It's good and healthy to let the tears flow. It helps to release the old energy within. This too shall pass.

-- This too should be very minimal.


4. Sudden change in job or career.

5. Withdrawal from family or friends relationships.

--- I'll link 4&5 together here. This list is not saying that you no longer want company of those you love. It is not saying that you would rather go home, sit in a dark room and cry to yourself while your friends and family are wondering why you have deserted them. This is not saying that you suddenly decide you hate your job and run off out of the blue!

What it is saying is that during enlightenment, we reach a time in our lives where certain people and careers no longer fulfill the needs we have. You may still remain in touch and love them but the relationship will naturally change and not to your dismay. Ever heard the phrase, "Friends either come into your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime?" Let them be what they were intended to be in that part of your life. When you grow enlightened, you learn that a lot of what used to interest you changes quite a bit but to your liking mind you, not your dismay!


6. Unusual sleep patterns. It's likely that you'll awaken many nights between 2:00 – 4:00 AM. There's a lot of work going on within you, and it often causes you to wake up for a "breather." Not to worry. If you can't go back to sleep, get up and do something rather than lie in bed and worry about humanly things. This too shall pass.

-- YEP


7. Intense dreams. These might include war and battle dreams, chase dreams or monster dreams. You are literally releasing the old energy within, and these energies of the past are often symbolized as wars, running to escape and boogiemen. This too shall pass.


-- This may also include inspiring dreams, dreams that will bring you new information. Don't expect constant negative dreams. This one baffles me as I believe dreams will bring with it knowledge if the recipient needs it. Scary dreams do occur but you don't have to expect them constantly. If you are having continuous nightmares, you can always make a conscious statement before going to sleep that states; "I surround myself in white light and good energy. Nothing may come to my mind that will scare me." Make this personal to you and your goals. You can also work on lucid dreaming which can assist you in halting a nightmare right in its tracks!


8. Physical disorientation. At times you'll feel very ungrounded. You'll be "spatially challenged" with the feeling like you can't put two feet on the ground, or that you're walking between two worlds. As your consciousness transitions into the new energy, you body sometimes lags behind. Spend more time in nature to help ground the new energy within. This too shall pass.


-- This should not be for an extended period. It may come and go with your growth.


9. Increased "self talk." You'll find yourself talking to your Self more often. You'll suddenly realize you've been chattering away with yourself for the past 30 minutes. There is a new level of communication taking place within your being, and you're experiencing the tip of the iceberg with the self talk. The conversations will increase, and they will become more fluid, more coherent and more insightful. You're not going crazy, you're just Shaumbra (Lightworkers) moving into the new energy.


--- ha ha. I would rather word this as you become more in touch with your inner soul. Because of this, you often become more in touch with hearing your spirit guides. Pay close attention, you will hear them.



10. Feelings of loneliness, even when in the company of others. You may feel alone and removed from others. You may feel the desire to "flee" groups and crowds. As Shaumbra (Lightworkers), you are walking a sacred and lonely path. As much as the feelings of loneliness cause you anxiety, it is difficult to relate to others at this time. The feelings of loneliness are also associated with the fact that your Guides have departed. They have been with you on all of your journeys in all of your lifetimes. It was time for them to back away so you could fill your space with your own divinity. This too shall pass. The void within will be filled with the love and energy of your own True Divinity.

--- I'm going to link this one too with #'s 4&5. Sometimes, you just won't feel like jumping around with a big group of people. Most the time it's because your alone time has become quite enjoyable. You should still want to associate though and still make time to HAVE FUN WITH OTHERS. IF you are withdrawing from everyone...YOU MAY BE DEPRESSED AND YOU NEED TO GO SEE A DOCTOR.



11. Loss of passion. You may feel totally disimpassioned, with little or no desire to do anything. That's OK, and it's just part of the process. Take this time to "do no-thing." Don't fight yourself on this, because this too shall pass. It's similar to rebooting a computer. You need to shut down for a brief period of time in order to load the sophisticated new software, or in this case, the Divine-Self energy.


-- Link this back to #10. You may just tend to like your quiet time now but if you loose all of your passions.. YOU MAY BE DEPRESSED.. GO SEE A DOCTOR.


12. A deep longing to go Home.

-- I've had this one all my life. You don't want to die porsay but when you go through something emotionally that you don't like, you often find yourself saying, "I want to go home." Not that you want to die off but you long for it like it was your home as a child. I've said this to myself since I was a child and never realized how much I remembered. Now, I just remember it's where I love to be and this is school. I'll go home one day but until then, I came back here for a reason so I need to stick to it.

[demk]

Originally Posted by CFPurpose

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I'm more alive than ever...just sad sometimes for quite an extended period lol. Certainly not depression.

Its like I have a knot of resistance in my chest that I'm constantly chipping away at, relaxing it more and more.

[cylon]

Thanks for the clarification, CF. Good post.

[Dharma]

@demk

Yes, presence does dissolve suffering.

I was sitting (actually walking in the woods) with some sadness today. I was trying to be present and the sadness wouldn't shift at all, it just felt really blah in my belly.

Usually when this happens I do a few things. I focus my awareness on the feeling and I tell myself to "soften". Almost like I'm touching the hard outer shell with my awareness and I'm allowing myself to slowly dip beneath the surface to see what's there. If it's working you'll feel a little expansion going on inside.

The mind really won't know what to do with "soften". The emotional body knows exactly what to do with it. If you find yourself wondering "how do i soften", you need to let go and trust your inner wisdom.

Today this wasn't working for me, so I checked to make sure I wasn't in some sort of denial. Am I present? I think so. Do I have any expectations? Yes, I expect this sadness to move. So I'm in the future, which is denial of the present moment. Do I want to get away from what I'm feeling? To be honest, yes. I'd rather enjoy the forest with lighter feelings. So there I'm also wishing the moment was different than it is.

Two strikes on being in the moment. And I wonder why my sadness won't transform? :P So I first have to work on being present with my emotional state and today, I couldn't. I kept popping out of the moment.

Originally Posted by demk

I get the sense that I should just be present with this long sadness as if it is cathartic.

Follow that sense! And try to follow what comes into your awareness. Self will give you input to help you move the stuckness. You may get the feeling to hum a tune, or jump up and down, or beat up pillows in a wild rage, or find a quiet place and cry, or curse God using every 4-letter word you know. Self is efficient but sometimes may have strange ways to get us to move.

Another thing that will get you stuck is judgment. If you think catharsis is wrong, or crying is wrong, or hating everyone for 5 minutes is wrong, then you'll get stuck. Because wrong = rejection of the moment.

Catharsis can also get you to the point of asking yourself , "could this be a little easier?" And voila, a new awareness of ease can enter. I've seen people (myself included) go from one extreme to bursting out laughing by being reminded, "y'know Pete you can choose ease too." Sometimes I have to be reminded I choose which path to go down.

So demk, see if there's any expectation of the moment changing or judgment on what you're feeling. Those two things can hide the now from us and keep things status quo.

[demk]

Originally Posted by Dharma

So demk, see if there's any expectation of the moment changing or judgment on what you're feeling. Those two things can hide the now from us and keep things status quo.

I do tend to have an egenda behind being present sometimes, such as wanting to get to a certain state of mind. Its difficult because every time I seem to have a technique that works in getting me to accept fully, it is subverted by my ego and turned into a tool to get a certain thing which as you say is time based. I used concepts like release, wait, open, bewildered, and so on, which worked for a while until an expectation of what should occur appeared. Soften seems to work for me too but I have feeling that will be given too much meaning too. I find not using words helps, just feeling around and trying to drop resistance.

Its frustrating when I can sometimes access this state of loving Presence and really identify with it because it is really there if you know what I mean. Its like there is more Presence than the world sometimes. Everything flows so well. The problem is I dont really know how I do it lol, or whether I do it at all, nd all of a sudden I'm back again. I am generally going two steps forward and only one step back though which is good.

Thanks for the response btw.

[CFPurpose]

Originally Posted by Dharma

Usually when this happens I do a few things. I focus my awareness on the feeling and I tell myself to "soften". Almost like I'm touching the hard outer shell with my awareness and I'm allowing myself to slowly dip beneath the surface to see what's there. If it's working you'll feel a little expansion going on inside.

The mind really won't know what to do with "soften". The emotional body knows exactly what to do with it. If you find yourself wondering "how do i soften", you need to let go and trust your inner wisdom.

Today this wasn't working for me, so I checked to make sure I wasn't in some sort of denial. Am I present? I think so. Do I have any expectations? Yes, I expect this sadness to move. So I'm in the future, which is denial of the present moment. Do I want to get away from what I'm feeling? To be honest, yes. I'd rather enjoy the forest with lighter feelings. So there I'm also wishing the moment was different than it is.

Two strikes on being in the moment. And I wonder why my sadness won't transform? :P So I first have to work on being present with my emotional state and today, I couldn't. I kept popping out of the moment.

Follow that sense! And try to follow what comes into your awareness. Self will give you input to help you move the stuckness. You may get the feeling to hum a tune, or jump up and down, or beat up pillows in a wild rage, or find a quiet place and cry, or curse God using every 4-letter word you know. Self is efficient but sometimes may have strange ways to get us to move.

Another thing that will get you stuck is judgment. If you think catharsis is wrong, or crying is wrong, or hating everyone for 5 minutes is wrong, then you'll get stuck. Because wrong = rejection of the moment.

Catharsis can also get you to the point of asking yourself , "could this be a little easier?" And voila, a new awareness of ease can enter. I've seen people (myself included) go from one extreme to bursting out laughing by being reminded, "y'know Pete you can choose ease too." Sometimes I have to be reminded I choose which path to go down.

So demk, see if there's any expectation of the moment changing or judgment on what you're feeling. Those two things can hide the now from us and keep things status quo.

Great direction here Dharma! I very much enjoyed reading it.

[Dharma]

Originally Posted by yossarian

I'm seeing a lot of truth in this now

It's sort of like I'm causing myself to shrink away from an awareness that is coming into view, repressing awakening desires due to fear. And this causing these symptoms of which I have in spades heh

Yes, you caught my drift

[Dharma]

Originally Posted by demk

I do tend to have an agenda behind being present sometimes, such as wanting to get to a certain state of mind. Its difficult because every time I seem to have a technique that works in getting me to accept fully, it is subverted by my ego and turned into a tool to get a certain thing which as you say is time based.

I'm treating some back pain right now and amid my recovery I had a realization that hit me like a ton of bricks.

My desire to get better actually takes me out of the moment. As Tolle would say, I'm using the future as a savior to the present moment. I was unknowingly rejecting my now, my creation, by wishing to be better and thinking "ok if I do this I'll get better (in the future)". In some ways that's true and in other ways it adds denial and slows the process down. I can only get better now.

My agenda to get better was keeping me out of the moment.

[rini17]

I've already identified some of there as signs that "something is happening", but it's nice to see them described in one place. I am learning how to stop resisting them.

Originally Posted by CFPurpose

12. A deep longing to go Home.

But what happened to this one is absolutely stunning. I got across books about Anastasia and about permaculture, it made me realize my true Home is this wonderful planet - Earth! All I need to do is claim a piece of it and create Love space from it, living together with the Nature as with materialized thoughts of God -- forever in my offspring. Sometimes I can even feel and see my future Self living in this space sending me love and support! So my feeling of wanting Home is not so insatiable, but rather joyful expectation.

[777]

Thank you Crissy for this post, and for the clarification that came later.

I believe the negative spirals that we encounter allow us to learn great lessons, which in turn allow us to teach from experience and from our hearts.

When we teach others from our hearts, I feel there is a level of understanding much greater than that experienced when passing on another self's experiences, such as those read in a book.

I feel there is a much deeper connection between two souls, the teacher and the learned, and the energy is not interfered by a third party, or say an author, because you have become the author of your own experiences, living the teachings of your own book. There is a great difference between reading information and feeling emotions, and it is from the latter that we are able to become greater teachers, inspiring a greater number of people

When I am experiencing a downward spiral, I am content knowing that soon I will have a much deeper understanding of my purpose and will learn new skills that I can then pass on to others that I encounter on my path…

[Liara Covert]

I was taken by Dharma's post about healing "in the now." I think about doing this with regard to tempering impatience. I work on healing thoughts in the now while I also think about the improved physical state my body will be in after healing is complete. I perform this thought process to facilitate healing of a minor foot injury and also to oversome frustration that hinders some of my personal progress.

[Sunsingh]

Sages in India believe that before sunrise is the best time to meditate. Not just because it's quiet. So if you can't get to sleep again, might as well meditate. Actually, an (highly) enlightened individual once told me that in the West, between 2-4 am is when many enlightened people meditate - so the energy in the air is much more powerful.

11. Loss of passion. You may feel totally disimpassioned, with little or no desire to do anything. That's OK, and it's just part of the process. Take this time to "do no-thing." Don't fight yourself on this, because this too shall pass. It's similar to rebooting a computer. You need to shut down for a brief period of time in order to load the sophisticated new software, or in this case, the Divine-Self energy.

How do people deal with this? Does it go away on its own? I've been seriously lacking the passion to do much of anything except to just sit and 'veg'. it's causing serious problems in school... I just force myself to keep going, but it's really hard to find the motivation to do so. I recognise that there are other reasons for these symptoms as well, but i'm confident it's not depression or anything like that in my case.

[demk]

This is from the QandA section of Sally Kempton's website, Sally Kempton, meditation teacher, Swami Durgananda

It is relevant to the point I was discussing with Dharma and other people should find it useful too and relevant to this topic.

"Q: Sometimes in meditation I feel a lot of emotion, not all of it pleasant. Sometimes it intrudes during the day. Is this a sign that something is wrong?

Sally: On the contrary, it's a sign that meditation is working at a deep level. One of the benefits of meditation is a process that some people call 'samskaric burnoff'. Samskara is the Sanskrit word for the buried thoughts and feelings that are layered into our bodies and into our mental bodies. These hidden feelings and impressions are responsible for a lot of our pain and unconscious behavior-because, as psychologists know, that which is unconscious tends to rule us without our being aware of it. Meditation releases a powerful energy that can literally sweep out the rooms of our unconscious mind, releasing and carrying away these samskaras. So when emotions come up in meditation, it is usually a sign that this clearing process is happening. All that is necessary is that you watch them come up and try not to identify with them. As you meditate, over time, these emotions get released and transmuted.
The important thing for you, in the moment, is to make it ok for yourself to experience the feelings. One way is to work with your breath. When you feel an emotion come up, focus on your breath, simultaneously holding the emotion in your awareness. Let yourself feel what you feel, staying present with the feeling and with the breath. Then, let yourself gently breathe the emotion out with the breath. Without pushing your feelings away or in any way trying to force them to be different, but without getting involved in them, simply breathe the emotion out."

[Andrew Brunelle]

I've gone through quite a few of these, most notably my feeling of wanting to go home. I had that feeling yesterday. Being dispassionate is another, crying for no reason, physical disorientation, self-talk, constant self-talk really. I am always either talking or thinking to myself, detached from whatever is going on at times. But as you said, "This too shall pass." One of my favorite quotes of all time. Well, divinity, enlightenment, they are all steady goals that have a groundedness away from popular culture, and the fact that they seem so inspired and attainable in this lifetime puts me on a track towards those goals. Thank you for sharing and happy enlightenment to you as well.

[CFPurpose]

I am so pleasantly pleased by how this thread has continued to grow. Everyone has offered some great value to it and I’m glad it’s turned into something to learn from.

Sunsingh, you wanted to know how one deals with their loss of passion. Have you lost certain passions but gained new ones? Do you still look forward to certain things? When you lose passion for everything, it can mean quite a few things. You may just need some time to re-group. I think our minds and bodies need little breaks here and there from the norm. No need for alarm. You say that you’d rather just vedge for the moment and it’s causing problems in school. I use the term, “Lazy” for this one, BUT, don’t take offense dear. I have lazy moments too. We all do. When we have responsibilities that need to be met, and our minds and bodies just don’t feel like it; it’s called laziness. Once again, no reason to alarm oneself unless it becomes a continual problem and when that happens, it’s best to throw a kink in your day and give yourself a little added jumpstart. It’s up to the individual to pull themselves out of this slump.

Originally Posted by 777

Thank you Crissy for this post, and for the clarification that came later.

When I am experiencing a downward spiral, I am content knowing that soon I will have a much deeper understanding of my purpose and will learn new skills that I can then pass on to others that I encounter on my path…

You’re very welcome 777 and might I say, “Ditto” to your above comment.

Originally Posted by rini17

But what happened to this one is absolutely stunning. I got across books about Anastasia and about permaculture, it made me realize my true Home is this wonderful planet - Earth! All I need to do is claim a piece of it and create Love space from it, living together with the Nature as with materialized thoughts of God -- forever in my offspring. Sometimes I can even feel and see my future Self living in this space sending me love and support! So my feeling of wanting Home is not so insatiable, but rather joyful expectation.

Rini, you sounded so happy and joyful in this post. I’m glad you are finding your way on your own personal path and I wish you all the luck in the world.



Demk, Thank you for your Q and A section of Sally Kempton's website. I think it fit perfectly within the thread and I very much enjoyed reading it.

Originally Posted by Andrew Brunelle

Well, divinity, enlightenment, they are all steady goals that have a groundedness away from popular culture, and the fact that they seem so inspired and attainable in this lifetime puts me on a track towards those goals.

..And on toward these “goals” we shall all go. We all have our own goals with one main likeness in it all; To grow enlightened and be all that we were truly intended to be; spiritual and beautiful beings. I am so pleased to have come across the individuals that are within this forum. I will soon start becoming an avid reader of Steve and Erin’s blogs as well as I simply can’t get enough of this site as it is. People are lead places for reasons, never take them for granted and accept each person, place, or thing with dignity and the viewpoint to learn.

Love and light to all.