spirituality and suppression + emotional ownership thread

[rei]

Originally Posted by Cochonette

You're right. I didn't realize I was going to write a really long post. It looks out of place, mostly because I said so much.

I'm not going to read any more of this thread. I read a few of the posts, and since this is about sharing feelings here, I will say that they really bothered me. That is all.

Confused and befuddled here. There are two parts to the thread, emotion expression and discussion of suppression under the guise of being spiritual. I don't think you strayed beyond the guidelines.

Though the act of invalidation isn't the same as feeling a feeling. It is a reaction to feeling and can be a sign of discomfort about the feeling expression but I am not sure I see how invalidation is emotion or how the guidelines preclude expressing distaste or anger.

I would rather the thread not be about putting another's feelings on trial or judging them as wrong or bad. That means you are free to express how you feel about others, expressions, but I would prefer that you do so with respect as you have been.

I don't see why you felt the need to make the above post, but that's okay. Carry on.

[LostMyMap]

Originally Posted by Lakshyayidhi Lakshmihi

The fat Buddha is actually a Bodhisattva named Maitreya. He's also called the monk with the cloth bag. He was sort of like Santa Claus. I know, I'm such a debbie downer because I took a Buddhist philosophy class. The former monk who taught the class was quite a downer himself, TBH.

You debbie downer you. Next you'll be telling me Santa Claus doesn't exist either.

Well he's the fat happy Buddha to me, and it seems, everyone who runs a Chinese restaurant! You know, put a coin in the bowl and rub Buddha's belly. That's cool.

[elucidate]

I have had this tendency before as well, to take on other peoples reactions to what makes them uncomfortable. It's taken a while, but I am starting to learn to be able to say "No, that's YOUR stuff, and you can keep it. I'm not taking that on". It's amazing how long it can take to learn to say a few simple words.

Originally Posted by Lakshyayidhi Lakshmihi

I get angry when people say stuff like this (not directed at you cochonette, you just happened to say this and it triggered a strong emotional response of anger inside of me, but since you are no longer participating in the thread I assume it's OK to use this an example....obviously since you were not interacting with me, I want to stress that I am responding to the words and sentiment, not to YOU.)

It's my mother is all. She says stuff like this and then refuses to explain why she is bothered or upset, just that she is upset by something. To me that's passive aggressive. Why tell me that you are angry at all if you can't tell me why? If you can't explain it, keep it to yourself, MOM.

I feel like when she says stuff like this to me she's dumping. Dumping her emotional aggravation (which is all about HER, not about anyone else, because emotional arousal is always about the individual experiencing it) all over me. Aggravation that I didn't have and didn't need or want, but she feels so free to just give it to me. It's my birthright. To carry her sadness and anger and regret and rage on my shoulders. I take up the burden without even thinking about it.

I take up the burden of other people's anger, too. I see it inside of me. I am so willing to absorb it and shoulder it, put it on top of the pack that is so huge it dwarfs me.

It doesn't matter why I do that, but now that I see it I can stop and say - no. This is your anger, this - this bothers YOU. Not me! I'm OK with it! And I don't need to hold it for you. You can keep it. And that's not a sarcastic smile, that's smile of liberation.