When your beliefs *don't* create your reality

[spacecadetglow]

So, there's a pretty widespread belief (ha!) around here that your beliefs create reality. I've known this to be true for quite some time now. Everyone seems to accept it as a given. I'd like to share a story that challenges this notion. I get excited as I type, because the possibilities that unfold when you let go of this belief are dazzling to me...

Recently, I had a dream about my half-sister. She's 17 years my senior and lives with her family about an hour north of here. We only really see her on holidays and she and I have never been close.

A psychic told me, a little over two years ago, that I would never have a close relationship with either of my sisters. I wasn't surprised. Our relationship has always been tangential. Cordial, but I've never shared anything real with her and she hasn't with me, either. I never believed we'd have a close relationship, and this information from the psychic corroborated my belief.

Anyway, I dreamt that she was talking to me about my work and asked what I was doing now. In the dream, I was upset that my own sister didn't even know what my job was. I kind of forgot about the dream and brushed it off, but lo and behold, she messages me on facebook a few days later. She's asking me if I know who Tony Robbins is.

I'm saying to myself, Tina? Personal development? Tony Robbins? Schwaaat?

She asks me to get dinner with her the next night and we meet up. We ended up sitting there for several hours, totally opening up and talking about our issues together. It was extremely emotional, and unlocked a lot of deep-seated issues we both have. It was all incredibly synchronistic, and of course, at one point the dream is reenacted and she says those exact words: "What are you doing right now?"

I was dumbfounded. It all happened out of nowhere. She sent me a Tony Robbins book, as we discovered we are dealing with the same sorts of things right now. And she and her husband came to my show last night.

So... I think there's a certain value in being wrong. It was humbling, really. And it's hugely relieving to know that I am not the only one who's driving this car. A gift was handed to me that I never asked for and totally challenged my conception of reality. I mean, I really did deeply believe I'd never have a close relationship with her and I was fine with that.

If our beliefs don't create reality, at least not 100% of the time, it allows us to cut ourselves some slack. It's okay to not gremlin-hunt all the time and just let things happen. Of course, this kind of work can be hugely beneficial and I don't mean to downplay that.

Just relax. Everything happens as it is meant to, with your interference or not.

[curiouslyrandom]

So why do you think you didn't create this? Because on the surface you thought you would never have a good relationship with your sister?

What if... you had a belief, either conscious or unconscious, that you wanted to connect with someone who had known you a long time (like a family member for example) so you could share what you're learning?

Just thinkin'.

[Angelique]

I love this! It's so nice when you can open up about your PD processes with your real world, huh? This forum rocks but nothing beats a heart to heart in person or on the phone.

[Angela]

Sounds to me like your unconscious beliefs (which showed up in your dreams) kicked in to help your create a heart's desire that you didn't consciously believe you could create.

[spacecadetglow]

Originally Posted by Angela

Sounds to me like your unconscious beliefs (which showed up in your dreams) kicked in to help your create a heart's desire that you didn't consciously believe you could create.

Hehe, very nice, Angela. I'd say that's an accurate description.

I think I just kind of like to shatter my own previous beliefs and expectations to replace them with more exciting, powerful alternatives. Wow, you know, all this time that's exactly what I've been after. I'm thinking to myself, "Oh I need to do such and such technique," or "I just need to get that book!" in order to achieve this.

But I'm already doing it.

That's pretty rad. It's more powerful than I expected. Ha! Love it.

Thanks for rephrasing this in such a clear, nice way, Angela.

[spacecadetglow]

Originally Posted by curiouslyrandom

So why do you think you didn't create this? Because on the surface you thought you would never have a good relationship with your sister?

What if... you had a belief, either conscious or unconscious, that you wanted to connect with someone who had known you a long time (like a family member for example) so you could share what you're learning?

Just thinkin'.

You know, I think it comes down to my belief in God. I have to surrender myself to the will of that giant invisible hand that moves without me asking it to.

For me, there has to be a greater power outside myself, but "outside myself" is a watered down misnomer. All I know is that it's something vastly more intelligent than I, but through me I am guided and shown my own power.

[cylon]

Words are tricky things.

What's a belief? An expectation? A memory? A thought? A feeling?

It's all those things but those "things" are simply labels. And those labels are trying to describe a process that goes beyond description. And not only is that "process" beyond description, the very act of trying to explain it takes you further and further away from what it really is.

Yes your beliefs create reality, and your expectations. And your expectations and beliefs can change in a heartbeat. Some of them are conscious, some of them are unconscious.

Trying to keep track of all the things that could be going on inside you is just too much work and a waste of time, in my opinion.

I think a better way to approach conscious creation is to just go by a few general principles: try to feel as good as you can, as often as you can. If you do this, and are aligned with your highest ideals, the stuff you want to happen, will probably happen, most of the time, and probably happen in ways that surprise you. It's always going to be interesting to see how things manifest, I don't think one can predict just how they will manifest, or when, or exactly which conscious or subconscious belief or expectation they are manifesting from.

Rule of thumb: try to feel good, enjoy watching out for fun stuff.

[Solipsist]

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

Just relax. Everything happens as it is meant to, with your interference or not.

Can't argue with that.

One of the gold nuggets I held onto from my Roman Catholic studies was the simple quote, "all things have their season, and in their times all things pass under heaven."

Nice post, Space.

[spacecadetglow]

Originally Posted by cylon

Words are tricky things.

What's a belief? An expectation? A memory? A thought? A feeling?

It's all those things but those "things" are simply labels. And those labels are trying to describe a process that goes beyond description. And not only is that "process" beyond description, the very act of trying to explain it takes you further and further away from what it really is.

Yes your beliefs create reality, and your expectations. And your expectations and beliefs can change in a heartbeat. Some of them are conscious, some of them are unconscious.

Trying to keep track of all the things that could be going on inside you is just too much work and a waste of time, in my opinion.

I think a better way to approach conscious creation is to just go by a few general principles: try to feel as good as you can, as often as you can. If you do this, and are aligned with your highest ideals, the stuff you want to happen, will probably happen, most of the time, and probably happen in ways that surprise you. It's always going to be interesting to see how things manifest, I don't think one can predict just how they will manifest, or when, or exactly which conscious or subconscious belief or expectation they are manifesting from.

Rule of thumb: try to feel good, enjoy watching out for fun stuff.

Beautifully said. For me, that entails getting off this damn forum and actually DO the things that make me feel good. Problem is, I'm so lazy. I don't have much patience to practice guitar or do yoga, even those things are great for me when I get into the swing of them...

Guess I need to build up my self-discipline. Hah.

This was a great post though, thanks.

[spacecadetglow]

Originally Posted by Solipsist

Can't argue with that.

One of the gold nuggets I held onto from my Roman Catholic studies was the simple quote, "all things have their season, and in their times all things pass under heaven."

Nice post, Space.

You mean 'to everything a season...' from Ecclesiastes? Favorite Bible verse ever.

[Solipsist]

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

You mean 'to everything a season...' from Ecclesiastes? Favorite Bible verse ever.

Yep, that's the one.

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

Beautifully said. For me, that entails getting off this damn forum and actually DO the things that make me feel good. Problem is, I'm so lazy. I don't have much patience to practice guitar or do yoga, even those things are great for me when I get into the swing of them...

Guess I need to build up my self-discipline. Hah.

This was a great post though, thanks.

no problem
notice you do what you want
fuel the direction you imagine

[spacecadetglow]

Originally Posted by wolfgang

no problem
notice you do what you want
fuel the direction you imagine

I think I'm understanding you, but I'm not certain. What do you mean I should fuel the direction I imagine?

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

I think I'm understanding you, but I'm not certain. What do you mean I should fuel the direction I imagine?

when you say you'd like to practice, I think - well you already probably are doing what you desire. thing is to notice that what you are doing is hook line and sinker for those desires. I too wish to "practice" more. But realize to find joy in doing what I do already is easier than deciding I haven't done enough or need to do more. maybe it's too late for me to make much sense but I see you in me in a way.

[glennsmith]

In my experience there are some things that will happen whether we consciously or unconsciously believe them or not. There is a certain will that is not under our influence. The rest you can consciously decide what you will intend to manifest, or just let go completely and have life flow through you.

[spacecadetglow]

Originally Posted by wolfgang

when you say you'd like to practice, I think - well you already probably are doing what you desire. thing is to notice that what you are doing is hook line and sinker for those desires. I too wish to "practice" more. But realize to find joy in doing what I do already is easier than deciding I haven't done enough or need to do more. maybe it's too late for me to make much sense but I see you in me in a way.

I understand... but I do really want to do more with my guitar playing. I know I don't need to, but I want to.

I honestly think my profound lack of willpower and discipline lately is a function of living at home. My parents take care of menial tasks like dishes and cooking dinner, bills are paid for, etc. Not very much is required of me. So it puts me in lazy-Amy mode, and once I'm in that mode, it's hard to get out.

For whatever reason I can't seem to bring myself to even do a 30 day trial. I want to be meditating and practicing every single day. Maybe it's time to set some goals and stick to them...

[James81]

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

I honestly think my profound lack of willpower and discipline lately is a function of living at home. My parents take care of menial tasks like dishes and cooking dinner, bills are paid for, etc. Not very much is required of me. So it puts me in lazy-Amy mode, and once I'm in that mode, it's hard to get out.

As long as you belief that something outside yourself is zapping your inspiration, you'll continue to stay in lazy-Amy mode.

[Angela]

There's that at-effect thing again, d'oh!

[James81]

Another thing I've noticed, in my own life, is usually when I use the phrase "I honestly believe/think ....", that's a good indicator that I'm lying to myself (not to others, just to myself).

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

I understand... but I do really want to do more with my guitar playing. I know I don't need to, but I want to.

I honestly think my profound lack of willpower and discipline lately is a function of living at home. My parents take care of menial tasks like dishes and cooking dinner, bills are paid for, etc. Not very much is required of me. So it puts me in lazy-Amy mode, and once I'm in that mode, it's hard to get out.

For whatever reason I can't seem to bring myself to even do a 30 day trial. I want to be meditating and practicing every single day. Maybe it's time to set some goals and stick to them...

if that is true then ask your parents to give you a bunch of chores and then wa la you will not have these reasons

[spacecadetglow]

LOL, damn, you all jumped on that one quick.

I'm not saying I'm incapable of making progress because of living at home, just that everything is interrelated, and it might be contributing to my lack of motivation.

Like, I wasn't trying to be self-defeating there, just observing something. I know I can do whatever I want if I set my mind to it.

[spacecadetglow]

Originally Posted by James81

Another thing I've noticed, in my own life, is usually when I use the phrase "I honestly believe/think ....", that's a good indicator that I'm lying to myself (not to others, just to myself).

Haha, you are so right about that! Funny how that works...

So, what's the real reason for my lack of motivation if nothing in my external environment affects me? How can that be true? Everything affects you.

Sorry of these are noob questions, but I don't think I quite "get" this external vs. internal thing. To me, it's all one in the same...

[James81]

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

LOL, damn, you all jumped on that one quick.

I'm not saying I'm incapable of making progress because of living at home, just that everything is interrelated, and it might be contributing to my lack of motivation.

Like, I wasn't trying to be self-defeating there, just observing something. I know I can do whatever I want if I set my mind to it.

"You keep telling us what you know, but what do you feeeel?" --Mal, from the movie Inception

[James81]

I jumped on that one before the board clock changed over to another minute. Less than 60 seconds. that's like some kind of new record for me.

[spacecadetglow]

Originally Posted by James81

"You keep telling us what you know, but what do you feeeel?" --Mal, from the movie Inception

Are you suggesting that I know intellectually I'm capable of anything, but I don't feel like I can? Well, yeah. That's true.

It's these damn forums! I CAN'T STOP.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

I honestly think my profound lack of willpower and discipline lately is a function of living at home. My parents take care of menial tasks like dishes and cooking dinner, bills are paid for, etc. Not very much is required of me. So it puts me in lazy-Amy mode, and once I'm in that mode, it's hard to get out.

I'm pretty sure that this is not the case. I'm living on my own for about 9 years and the dishes get piled up in the sink until I make myself do them and thing that I don't *have to* do, don't get done.

Lazy-Amy mode (like Lazy-Sandra mode) is a choice that you are (I am) making day in day out.

Sure, the first time getting your ass out of that chair might be difficult. But the more you do it, the easier it gets.

I did do exercise for 2 whole weeks and by the end of the 2 weeks it was a pleasure to go and work out. I felt an itch to go.

Unfortunately, I let it go for 1 week and now I'm back at zero having to build up again.... Lesson learned... once you have a rhythm, DO NOT LET IT GO! No matter who much your lazy brain might say "1 time won't matter... you deserve a little break, see how far you've come? You can skip just this once..."

[James81]

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

Are you suggesting that I know intellectually I'm capable of anything, but I don't feel like I can? Well, yeah. That's true.

Yip.

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

It's these damn forums! I CAN'T STOP.

[James81]

Originally Posted by ssandra

I'm pretty sure that this is not the case. I'm living on my own for about 9 years and the dishes get piled up in the sink until I make myself do them and thing that I don't *have to* do, don't get done.

Lazy-Amy mode (like Lazy-Sandra mode) is a choice that you are (I am) making day in day out.

Sure, the first time getting your ass out of that chair might be difficult. But the more you do it, the easier it gets.

I did do exercise for 2 whole weeks and by the end of the 2 weeks it was a pleasure to go and work out. I felt an itch to go.

Unfortunately, I let it go for 1 week and now I'm back at zero having to build up again.... Lesson learned... once you have a rhythm, DO NOT LET IT GO! No matter who much your lazy brain might say "1 time won't matter... you deserve a little break, see how far you've come? You can skip just this once..."

Another thought (that is, something I realized about myself) is...that perhaps you are doing too much of what you DON'T want to do that, by the time you get around to what you want, you're too tired.

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

It's these damn forums! I CAN'T STOP.

is this an external or internal thing to feel sucked into the forums instead of practicing your guitar?

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by James81

Another thought (that is, something I realized about myself) is...that perhaps you are doing too much of what you DON'T want to do that, by the time you get around to what you want, you're too tired.

Maybe it is that way for you.

I know it is definitely not that way for me... Seriously, if I'd tell you about my most busy day these last 3 weeks, you'd fall off your chair laughing...