Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

spacecadetglow · 10-15-2010, 02:13 PM

Also, as usual, I know exactly how you feel. Especially in regards to the "thought monitoring"...don't get down on yourself for letting negative thoughts seep through! You can control the direction of your thoughts somewhat, but for the most part they just arise in us. You're not going to be a perfect happy robot all the time (would you really want to be?

)

Your job is to not attach yourself to those thoughts, or believe that they mean anything about you. Just because you think negative thoughts doesn't mean you're a negative person or a failure.

We're on the same journey together, my friend. The two things that have helped me most:

1. Ramana Maharashi. There's a thread I started on this forum about him. Check the dude out, he got me to understand ego better than any Buddhist teacher, ever. I'm still reeling.

2. Do what feels good. Yes, it's that easy. It's great that you've moved away from the negative, but are you moving towards the positive?

James81 · 10-15-2010, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

You can control the direction of your thoughts somewhat, but for the most part they just arise in us.

I agree with you that our thoughts seem to arise is if from nowhere.

In psychology, they label this is thoughts that arise from the unconscious mind. That is, thoughts that arise from that seemingly inaccessible part of us that is rooted in repressed memories and/or feelings. Freud thought that we could access these thoughts through pscyhoanalysis, which seems to be the basis of most psychological theory.

The thing about the unconscious is that it is (in part) created by the conscious and subconscious (the subconscious being those thoughts that are not immediately accessible, but can be accessed easily if you turn your focus on it...like remembering your social security number or the email of a friend).

In layman's terms, this means that those thoughts you cannot seem to control can be driven by the thoughts and experiences that you can control. Perhaps you don't have direct influence over your unconscious reactions, but you have direct influence over your interpretation of those reactions and the story you create out of them.

spacecadetglow · 10-15-2010, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James81

I agree with you that our thoughts seem to arise is if from nowhere.

In psychology, they label this is thoughts that arise from the unconscious mind. That is, thoughts that arise from that seemingly inaccessible part of us that is rooted in repressed memories and/or feelings. Freud thought that we could access these thoughts through pscyhoanalysis, which seems to be the basis of most psychological theory.

The thing about the unconscious is that it is (in part) created by the conscious and subconscious (the subconscious being those thoughts that are not immediately accessible, but can be accessed easily if you turn your focus on it...like remembering your social security number or the email of a friend).

In layman's terms, this means that those thoughts you cannot seem to control can be driven by the thoughts and experiences that you can control. Perhaps you don't have direct influence over your unconscious reactions, but you have direct influence over your interpretation of those reactions and the story you create out of them.

Nice way to sum it all up, James. This is entirely new territory for me right now. For the longest time, I felt like a slave to my emotions and was pretty much a bystander to the events in my life. I'm only now realizing my fundamental role in creating my own reality.

For awhile, my stance was to just allow the unpleasant thoughts and reactions to occur without interference as a means of self-acceptance. It was a very important lesson for me to feel my feelings, so to speak.

One thing that has really rubbed off on me from being here is the idea that your thoughts don't mean anything about you. I'd read about this in Buddhist texts for years, but it never made sense until now. Your thoughts are not who you are. Just because I think, "Wow that woman is such an uppity b*tch" doesn't mean I have mother issues. It doesn't mean I'm an evil person. It means nothing at all, it's just a thought. Who woulda thunk?!

That said, I can see where you and others are coming from when they talk about examining the source of those thoughts. That's not a terribly good example, as the woman in question could indeed be an uppity b*tch (that is, I'd choose that perception of her for whatever reason), but I think I'm ready to start doing that. It could be helpful.

DominicJackson · 10-15-2010, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

Also, as usual, I know exactly how you feel. Especially in regards to the "thought monitoring"...don't get down on yourself for letting negative thoughts seep through! You can control the direction of your thoughts somewhat, but for the most part they just arise in us. You're not going to be a perfect happy robot all the time (would you really want to be?

)

Your job is to not attach yourself to those thoughts, or believe that they mean anything about you. Just because you think negative thoughts doesn't mean you're a negative person or a failure.

We're on the same journey together, my friend. The two things that have helped me most:

1. Ramana Maharashi. There's a thread I started on this forum about him. Check the dude out, he got me to understand ego better than any Buddhist teacher, ever. I'm still reeling.

2. Do what feels good. Yes, it's that easy. It's great that you've moved away from the negative, but are you moving towards the positive?

thanks friend

DominicJackson · 10-16-2010, 01:10 AM

I just realised it is not the weed just smoked a joint and started having mini anxiety attack. Then made a great discovery due to the thought provoking weed. I started feeling really down and thought all my hair was going to start falling out again. Thinking about the terrible things I did to my ex when I was really stoned and how I ****ed my life up, I thought I was going to cry thinking about how weed ruined my life and then relapsing.

Then suddenly realised all my problems in my life like my mistakes and health problems were generated by my thoughts we control how we feel, our health and a lot of other things in life. I am the only one creating my problems and my thoughts aren't me but i am creating my thoughts/life/health.

I sat and started feeling tinlging sensations over my body. I kept repeating I am my problems and noticed that I am not my thoughts but that which controls my thoughts. We are our body mind life all in one.

The problem has been my thoughts, not weed .
I can see better, my whole chest opened up and relaxed, I did'nt even realise it was tense. It's incredible my whole life I have fogged my mind with needless negative crap and realised I don't have to.

Sorry thank you for the great advice, just had a bit of a revelation and weed helped me get in touch with that. You can abuse weed like anything.

spacecadetglow · 10-16-2010, 06:15 AM

Yes!!! *applause*

spacecadetglow · 10-16-2010, 06:16 AM

Mother Mary is to be treated with reverence, eh? That's the way I see it. Major respect to psychedelic drugs.

It's never the same thing twice. LOTS of good insights on weed...

DominicJackson · 10-16-2010, 09:41 AM

Its crazy, I immediately started having physical reactions, my ears started popping and started shaking uncontrollably! I realised I control everything in my life, my health, my thoughts everyone and everything is under my control for an extent. THE PROBLEMS ARE YOU, THIS IS LIKE A PLAY, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM!
That is all I kept thinking over and over again. It seemed the weed just pushed me over the edge and made me OPEN MY EYES.
Seriously I could see this morning! I woke up and looked around and everything looked crisper and more real. I felt like I was becoming enlightened.
A massive fog in my mind lifted, for my whole life all I have down is think about problems and imagine what that is doing to our selves? Man!!! This is strange
first thing I did this morning was put on a random online radio station and every song is about awakening and the power of the mind! KRS1 and such rapping about visualisation! AAArgh.. Its crazyness, I haven't listened to music and actually enjoyed it for years! YEARS! I just though about the problems and I was the problems, my mind does not need to be caught up in this ****!

I am my thoughts so why am I attacking myself all the time? What is it that controls my thoughts its me? I am not my thoughts I control them and they control everything else!!!!!!!! Its obvious!!!

Now I am working on my MF film and music!!! What is stopping me? it only me? nothing is impossible! Its all real and now all I have to do is DOIT!

**** its crazy man nothing is in my mind and everything. I am not my mind its a tool that i can use to do anything so why is it a gun pointed at myself I do not need to do that. When we realise this its no longer needed constantly. We don't need it.

Now its just the letting go and practicing this all the time, realising any time I think there is a problem that's all it is a thought and someone is implementing that thought ME! The real me that is all my body, soul and world around me. We are the world and the world is us, we reflect every person, emotion and event in our lives whether we like it or not.

DominicJackson · 10-16-2010, 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

Mother Mary is to be treated with reverence, eh? That's the way I see it. Major respect to psychedelic drugs.

It's never the same thing twice. LOTS of good insights on weed...

Yeah that's one thing that never made sense I did have some great thinking sessions on weed, and great insights. Just not all the time. Its a tool which we can abuse, like a weapon or lots of wealth and money, something powerful and dangerous that can be use for great good or great damage to several layers of society: social, economical, political, spiritual. Its powerful, well all drugs to an extent. Its just a mental tool, well I smoked one this morning to and I'm chatting **** already. lol

Jane Doe · 10-17-2010, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Does the ego grasp on more tightly when ones awareness is trying to get out of that space? Where ever I looked inside me there was ego.

Like some kid that wont let go of its toy! i need to be the firm pull of a parents hand tugging the toy (awarnes) away from the bratty child (ego)

The part of your brain that deals with the concept of the "self" (ego) is the same part of the brain that deals with time and spacial awareness.

Many people report "death of the ego" from doing drugs. They also report "time distortions." Time and space and the ego are all related. I am a firm believer that drugs mess with time in some way, and since the ego is sewed into time, then doing drugs messes with the ego in some way.

I have read a majority of these posts...and I do have one question:
What is the deal with control?
Do you think you should be trying to actively CONTROL things?
Or should you just sit back, and ACCEPT, accept by living in the present, stop trying to change the present.

DominicJackson · 10-17-2010, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jane Doe

The part of your brain that deals with the concept of the "self" (ego) is the same part of the brain that deals with time and spacial awareness.

Many people report "death of the ego" from doing drugs. They also report "time distortions." Time and space and the ego are all related. I am a firm believer that drugs mess with time in some way, and since the ego is sewed into time, then doing drugs messes with the ego in some way.

I have read a majority of these posts...and I do have one question:
What is the deal with control?
Do you think you should be trying to actively CONTROL things?
Or should you just sit back, and ACCEPT, accept by living in the present, stop trying to change the present.

Yes control is the problem I have been having. I have thought that I need to be doing something in my head to get things running smoothly. I have constantly 24 hours a day been thinking about problems and fears. All I do is worry in every situation, situations that give me no reason to worry.
I think the wee just made me think real hard about how I felt and then because of the amount of pain I have been through and put people through I realised that the problem was ME! I read all about the power of the mind and understood a lot of priciples but stupidly didn't realize what I was doing to myself 24 hours a day thinking about problems and therefore creating them!
STOP IT NOW! Your doing it! YOU! You are your problems you perpetuate them all the time LET GO! I do not need to think about what I am doing wrong all the time? When I stop thinking about that it gives my imagination some space to start working again, I am listening to music and enjoying it for the first time in years!!!! All I did was worry. Now I realised I am not my thoughts they are mearly this tool I can use when I want to so WHY AM I USING IT TO CREATE AND PERPETUATE PROBLEMS! Biggest step towards healing I have had EVER!
This is a problem I have had my whole life and only now I am realising I have been doing it. Sounds retarded but its true, why am I doing this to myuself? Lol...

Thank you all very much i am enjoying my life more now, straight away, and I know my physical symtoms will go, I am making them go I am being positive from now on and whenever I feel pain i know its my Ego my mind its me being silly its not this out of control thing that is constantly attacking me that is ME!!! So its just me being stupid........

DominicJackson · 10-18-2010, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jane Doe

The part of your brain that deals with the concept of the "self" (ego) is the same part of the brain that deals with time and spacial awareness.

Many people report "death of the ego" from doing drugs. They also report "time distortions." Time and space and the ego are all related. I am a firm believer that drugs mess with time in some way, and since the ego is sewed into time, then doing drugs messes with the ego in some way.

I have read a majority of these posts...and I do have one question:
What is the deal with control?
Do you think you should be trying to actively CONTROL things?
Or should you just sit back, and ACCEPT, accept by living in the present, stop trying to change the present.

Interesting what you say about time. People do say doing drugs epxpands you mind and I read that smoking weed does actually form new brain cells, it was in a newspaper too not some rumour, it about how it does it and the intent of the person doing it..

James81 · 10-18-2010, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DominicJackson

Interesting what you say about time. People do say doing drugs epxpands you mind and I read that smoking weed does actually form new brain cells, it was in a newspaper too not some rumour, it about how it does it and the intent of the person doing it..

I was listening to Joe Rogan's new CD over the weekend (I don't know *how* new it is, but I know it's copyrighted for this year so it's semi-new at least), and he talks about how his favorite book (and I can't remember the title) is about how someone made a case that the way in which humans evolved was because the monkeys/chimps/whatever were eating shrooms and it expanded their mind. He said the author was totally serious and makes this huge case for how drugs were the cause for human evolution.

Which I thought was hilarious. And I want to read that book!

Chameleon · 10-18-2010, 10:45 PM

I think the book you are interested in is by Terrance McKenna, I can't remember the name of it.

There is another interesting book on a similar subject, "DMT the Spirit Molecule" by Rick Strassman, M.D. that I recently read. The author did experiments with DMT, one of the most powerful psychedelics known, which also happens to be manufactured in small amounts in the human brain.

Very interesting read.

DominicJackson · 10-22-2010, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James81

I was listening to Joe Rogan's new CD over the weekend (I don't know *how* new it is, but I know it's copyrighted for this year so it's semi-new at least), and he talks about how his favorite book (and I can't remember the title) is about how someone made a case that the way in which humans evolved was because the monkeys/chimps/whatever were eating shrooms and it expanded their mind. He said the author was totally serious and makes this huge case for how drugs were the cause for human evolution.

Which I thought was hilarious. And I want to read that book!

Wow thats awsome! Well people still dont understand how we came to be sop maybe thats the case?lol

James81 · 10-22-2010, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chameleon

I think the book you are interested in is by Terrance McKenna, I can't remember the name of it.

You are right. The title of the book is Food of the Gods. I'm putting that one on my list of stuff to read.

DominicJackson · 10-31-2010, 03:21 PM

How can I feel connected to my life again. am i doing the right thing running away from my friends? Is it the weed that is ****ing me up? i guess to stay quit is the only way to find out but it causes me so much anxiety being around my friends when they are smoking. i do not want to feel under pressure like that even though its only me causeing the pressure. i feel so lost. i do not know what I want to do. When my friends invite me out I cannot do it I get scared. i dont want to see my ex, I think she is seeing someone now. I have so many strange feelings about what happenend with us. Why do i not want to do anything anymore i am just scared. Where did that creative drive go? i relied on it, that inquisitive me that loved reading sci fi and thinking about things, now I am just thinking about how to get out of this pain. I used t be so happy smoking weed and making music, reading and thiking. i guess I wasnt tat happy. its funny how our minds tricks us isnt it? We thing we want things we know are bad for us and try over and over again to get it to feel like it did when it wont.

Lakshyayidhi Lakshmihi · 10-31-2010, 03:34 PM

I won't share my opinion because I know that you are set on this course. I'm sorry you are suffering, Dom.

But understand that if you choose to quit using a substance, it's normally recommended to stay away from situations that trigger those old habitual thought formations. In AA they recommend that recovering alcoholics avoid bars.

I think you're just having a down day. Peace and love to you, friend.

spacecadetglow · 10-31-2010, 03:38 PM

What result are you trying to achieve by quitting, Dom? To get rid of the pain? Isn't it funny that people seem to criticize smoking as a way to "get rid of pain," but the other way around is completely acceptable?

I think they're both two sides of the same coin. If you're taking any action in order to escape something, it doesn't matter if you're quitting or you're smoking, in the end. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I'd recommend to stop tying your emotional states to taking certain actions, and thinking you can ONLY reach those states through those certain actions. Very destructive way to think.

I'm sorry you're going through a rough time, but it will get better. I have a feeling this whole thing will be a learning experience for you, and in time, you'll get back to your normal self.

Remember that the harder you push against the current, the more it pushes against you. When when I'm "having a moment," I like to sit with the feeling, feel its texture. I just sit with it. I don't try to get rid of it, do anything to it, analyze it. Just feel it. There's actually no technique at all involved in this, you just have to be. I find that this helps calm me down a bit.

DominicJackson · 10-31-2010, 04:00 PM

I just feel bad when I smoke, I get this horrid falling feeling and stress in my chest just where my adrenal glands are. i keep thinking I can enjoy it again but when I smoke it I just think "Why?".
I want to be a party animal, make music and films, go out there and enjoy life to the max, I want to be able to enjoy sex again and I want my aches and pains to leave, my veins to look healthy and not purple. I want to listen to silence without tinnitus everyday. i want to be in love with life and the people that inhabit it. And I remember when i quit fro 4 months years ago and I felt sooo good! No anxiety or anything, I got up in the morning and did what I wanted. Had a plan and stuck to it. Problem is I do not know what i want know and just when I think i do know i try and do it and do not enjoy it.

Thank you for the support. I love you guys and this forum. I should really meditate more i think.
Oh and I miss my ex so much too, so ridiculous that everything went so wrong, I just don't get it, why I hurt her so much and couldn't see it as something i should just enjoy without worrying all the time, whether it was right or wrong, and looking at her downfalls all the time without trying to appreciate any of her good points which there were many.

I express my feelings in a very unhealthy way to people a lot. I can be so horrid. :-(..
Dont worry i am not on a self loathing thing so much just need to vent onto this thread as this is what it was for.

I want to meet someone special that makes me feel alive again, but if i do not enjoy anything any more i wont go out and do that. lol lame

spacecadetglow · 10-31-2010, 04:06 PM

Much love to you, friend!

Lakshyayidhi Lakshmihi · 10-31-2010, 04:07 PM

Oh sweetie, just go easy on yourself. It's darkest before the dawn. Have faith that things will get better and they will. Sometimes it happens in unexpected ways, though. That's the universe for you. What a jokester.

Hugs to you, Dom. I wish I could make you a pie.

allis1 · 10-31-2010, 06:24 PM

punishment or praise is all the same treat to the ego.

forget about becoming a better you. try instead to lose the story and obsession with the self.

DominicJackson · 11-01-2010, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by allis1

punishment or praise is all the same treat to the ego.

forget about becoming a better you. try instead to lose the story and obsession with the self.

Yeah man!

DominicJackson · 11-01-2010, 11:25 AM

Self obsessed ass hole lol...
Being inside you mind is self obsession. I need not constantly th9nk about what I should do. just accept what is happeining.

allis1 · 11-01-2010, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DominicJackson

Self obsessed ass hole lol...
Being inside you mind is self obsession. I need not constantly th9nk about what I should do. just accept what is happeining.

Dom, you seem to have an intellectual understanding of how the egoic identification is the source of your supposed problems. I say supposed because you are NOT this impostor with all these issues. The ego thrives on conflict, and it loves to keep itself busy. I would suggest taking some quiet time away from all stimuli to simply sit and be. Notice the awarness and observe it. and when the mind comments on these things turn that awarness on it. the thoughts will quiet with no further effort. you will find this awarness has no judgement about any of the concerns the supposed you does. It does not think you are an ass hole or a saint. It is simply there. the ego will find all this terribly boring and try its best to pull you from this. don't be concerned if it does or if it doesn't. you now have a foothold on the truth of your being and can always return to awareness of it whenever you want.

DominicJackson · 11-01-2010, 04:04 PM

Yes I understand this, thank you for reliterating it to me. I guess I do not understand it. If there is no right and wrong will I have to be happy with everything? Or can I choose? I feel like if I just go with the flow I will end up in situations I am not happy in. like being in the same crowd of friends forever. Like a dead end. Where does ego begin and end without effecting our own independant thoughts of what we actually want? What we really like? I am following my heart from now on and do not want to do things I feel uncomfortable doing. But with your theory and Ekhart Tolles, I should be happy with anything that is happening in my life, but it can cause stress adn then I should not be dong those things?

allis1 · 11-01-2010, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DominicJackson

Yes I understand this, thank you for reliterating it to me. I guess I do not understand it. If there is no right and wrong will I have to be happy with everything? Or can I choose? I feel like if I just go with the flow I will end up in situations I am not happy in. like being in the same crowd of friends forever. Like a dead end. Where does ego begin and end without effecting our own independant thoughts of what we actually want? What we really like? I am following my heart from now on and do not want to do things I feel uncomfortable doing. But with your theory and Ekhart Tolles, I should be happy with anything that is happening in my life, but it can cause stress adn then I should not be dong those things?

there will always be free will. this is not surrendered. the difference is that no matter what is chosen the result is accepted, but not by the egoic you who has an opinion about everyone and everything.

DominicJackson · 11-04-2010, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by allis1

there will always be free will. this is not surrendered. the difference is that no matter what is chosen the result is accepted, but not by the egoic you who has an opinion about everyone and everything.

Thank you, your last two posts helped me remember the whole point and how retarded I have been acting. I have realised some important truths, thank to you. Thank You

DominicJackson · 11-04-2010, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by allis1

punishment or praise is all the same treat to the ego.

forget about becoming a better you. try instead to lose the story and obsession with the self.

I am thinking smoking weed is not very helpfull to me particularly with the physical problems I have. Do you have any experience with this? Your view on weed? I guess its a dumb question considering everyone is different, but I have smoked pretty much every day for 10 years and the doctors cannot find anything wrong with me. I am not sure if it is physical products of the transition I am giong through or if its directly because of my reliance on weed and smoking tobbacco.

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10-15-2010, 02:13 PM	#31 (permalink)
spacecadetglow Family Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: where don't I live? Posts: 4,412	Also, as usual, I know exactly how you feel. Especially in regards to the "thought monitoring"...don't get down on yourself for letting negative thoughts seep through! You can control the direction of your thoughts somewhat, but for the most part they just arise in us. You're not going to be a perfect happy robot all the time (would you really want to be? ) Your job is to not attach yourself to those thoughts, or believe that they mean anything about you. Just because you think negative thoughts doesn't mean you're a negative person or a failure. We're on the same journey together, my friend. The two things that have helped me most: 1. Ramana Maharashi. There's a thread I started on this forum about him. Check the dude out, he got me to understand ego better than any Buddhist teacher, ever. I'm still reeling. 2. Do what feels good. Yes, it's that easy. It's great that you've moved away from the negative, but are you moving towards the positive?

10-16-2010, 01:10 AM	#35 (permalink)
DominicJackson Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 293	I just realised it is not the weed just smoked a joint and started having mini anxiety attack. Then made a great discovery due to the thought provoking weed. I started feeling really down and thought all my hair was going to start falling out again. Thinking about the terrible things I did to my ex when I was really stoned and how I ****ed my life up, I thought I was going to cry thinking about how weed ruined my life and then relapsing. Then suddenly realised all my problems in my life like my mistakes and health problems were generated by my thoughts we control how we feel, our health and a lot of other things in life. I am the only one creating my problems and my thoughts aren't me but i am creating my thoughts/life/health. I sat and started feeling tinlging sensations over my body. I kept repeating I am my problems and noticed that I am not my thoughts but that which controls my thoughts. We are our body mind life all in one. The problem has been my thoughts, not weed . I can see better, my whole chest opened up and relaxed, I did'nt even realise it was tense. It's incredible my whole life I have fogged my mind with needless negative crap and realised I don't have to. Sorry thank you for the great advice, just had a bit of a revelation and weed helped me get in touch with that. You can abuse weed like anything.

10-16-2010, 06:15 AM	#36 (permalink)
spacecadetglow Family Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: where don't I live? Posts: 4,412	Yes!!! applause

10-16-2010, 06:16 AM	#37 (permalink)
spacecadetglow Family Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: where don't I live? Posts: 4,412	Mother Mary is to be treated with reverence, eh? That's the way I see it. Major respect to psychedelic drugs. It's never the same thing twice. LOTS of good insights on weed...

10-16-2010, 09:41 AM	#38 (permalink)
DominicJackson Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 293	Its crazy, I immediately started having physical reactions, my ears started popping and started shaking uncontrollably! I realised I control everything in my life, my health, my thoughts everyone and everything is under my control for an extent. THE PROBLEMS ARE YOU, THIS IS LIKE A PLAY, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM! That is all I kept thinking over and over again. It seemed the weed just pushed me over the edge and made me OPEN MY EYES. Seriously I could see this morning! I woke up and looked around and everything looked crisper and more real. I felt like I was becoming enlightened. A massive fog in my mind lifted, for my whole life all I have down is think about problems and imagine what that is doing to our selves? Man!!! This is strange first thing I did this morning was put on a random online radio station and every song is about awakening and the power of the mind! KRS1 and such rapping about visualisation! AAArgh.. Its crazyness, I haven't listened to music and actually enjoyed it for years! YEARS! I just though about the problems and I was the problems, my mind does not need to be caught up in this **! I am my thoughts so why am I attacking myself all the time? What is it that controls my thoughts its me? I am not my thoughts I control them and they control everything else!!!!!!!! Its obvious!!! Now I am working on my MF film and music!!! What is stopping me? it only me? nothing is impossible! Its all real and now all I have to do is DOIT! ** its crazy man nothing is in my mind and everything. I am not my mind its a tool that i can use to do anything so why is it a gun pointed at myself I do not need to do that. When we realise this its no longer needed constantly. We don't need it. Now its just the letting go and practicing this all the time, realising any time I think there is a problem that's all it is a thought and someone is implementing that thought ME! The real me that is all my body, soul and world around me. We are the world and the world is us, we reflect every person, emotion and event in our lives whether we like it or not.

10-18-2010, 10:45 PM	#44 (permalink)
Chameleon Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 108	I think the book you are interested in is by Terrance McKenna, I can't remember the name of it. There is another interesting book on a similar subject, "DMT the Spirit Molecule" by Rick Strassman, M.D. that I recently read. The author did experiments with DMT, one of the most powerful psychedelics known, which also happens to be manufactured in small amounts in the human brain. Very interesting read.

10-31-2010, 03:21 PM	#47 (permalink)
DominicJackson Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 293	How can I feel connected to my life again. am i doing the right thing running away from my friends? Is it the weed that is ****ing me up? i guess to stay quit is the only way to find out but it causes me so much anxiety being around my friends when they are smoking. i do not want to feel under pressure like that even though its only me causeing the pressure. i feel so lost. i do not know what I want to do. When my friends invite me out I cannot do it I get scared. i dont want to see my ex, I think she is seeing someone now. I have so many strange feelings about what happenend with us. Why do i not want to do anything anymore i am just scared. Where did that creative drive go? i relied on it, that inquisitive me that loved reading sci fi and thinking about things, now I am just thinking about how to get out of this pain. I used t be so happy smoking weed and making music, reading and thiking. i guess I wasnt tat happy. its funny how our minds tricks us isnt it? We thing we want things we know are bad for us and try over and over again to get it to feel like it did when it wont.

10-31-2010, 03:34 PM	#48 (permalink)
Lakshyayidhi Lakshmihi Retired Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 3,662	I won't share my opinion because I know that you are set on this course. I'm sorry you are suffering, Dom. But understand that if you choose to quit using a substance, it's normally recommended to stay away from situations that trigger those old habitual thought formations. In AA they recommend that recovering alcoholics avoid bars. I think you're just having a down day. Peace and love to you, friend.

10-31-2010, 03:38 PM	#49 (permalink)
spacecadetglow Family Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: where don't I live? Posts: 4,412	What result are you trying to achieve by quitting, Dom? To get rid of the pain? Isn't it funny that people seem to criticize smoking as a way to "get rid of pain," but the other way around is completely acceptable? I think they're both two sides of the same coin. If you're taking any action in order to escape something, it doesn't matter if you're quitting or you're smoking, in the end. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I'd recommend to stop tying your emotional states to taking certain actions, and thinking you can ONLY reach those states through those certain actions. Very destructive way to think. I'm sorry you're going through a rough time, but it will get better. I have a feeling this whole thing will be a learning experience for you, and in time, you'll get back to your normal self. Remember that the harder you push against the current, the more it pushes against you. When when I'm "having a moment," I like to sit with the feeling, feel its texture. I just sit with it. I don't try to get rid of it, do anything to it, analyze it. Just feel it. There's actually no technique at all involved in this, you just have to be. I find that this helps calm me down a bit.

10-31-2010, 04:00 PM	#50 (permalink)
DominicJackson Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 293	I just feel bad when I smoke, I get this horrid falling feeling and stress in my chest just where my adrenal glands are. i keep thinking I can enjoy it again but when I smoke it I just think "Why?". I want to be a party animal, make music and films, go out there and enjoy life to the max, I want to be able to enjoy sex again and I want my aches and pains to leave, my veins to look healthy and not purple. I want to listen to silence without tinnitus everyday. i want to be in love with life and the people that inhabit it. And I remember when i quit fro 4 months years ago and I felt sooo good! No anxiety or anything, I got up in the morning and did what I wanted. Had a plan and stuck to it. Problem is I do not know what i want know and just when I think i do know i try and do it and do not enjoy it. Thank you for the support. I love you guys and this forum. I should really meditate more i think. Oh and I miss my ex so much too, so ridiculous that everything went so wrong, I just don't get it, why I hurt her so much and couldn't see it as something i should just enjoy without worrying all the time, whether it was right or wrong, and looking at her downfalls all the time without trying to appreciate any of her good points which there were many. I express my feelings in a very unhealthy way to people a lot. I can be so horrid. :-(.. Dont worry i am not on a self loathing thing so much just need to vent onto this thread as this is what it was for. I want to meet someone special that makes me feel alive again, but if i do not enjoy anything any more i wont go out and do that. lol lame

10-31-2010, 04:06 PM	#51 (permalink)
spacecadetglow Family Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: where don't I live? Posts: 4,412	Much love to you, friend!

10-31-2010, 04:07 PM	#52 (permalink)
Lakshyayidhi Lakshmihi Retired Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 3,662	Oh sweetie, just go easy on yourself. It's darkest before the dawn. Have faith that things will get better and they will. Sometimes it happens in unexpected ways, though. That's the universe for you. What a jokester. Hugs to you, Dom. I wish I could make you a pie.

10-31-2010, 06:24 PM	#53 (permalink)
allis1 Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 33	punishment or praise is all the same treat to the ego. forget about becoming a better you. try instead to lose the story and obsession with the self.

11-01-2010, 11:25 AM	#55 (permalink)
DominicJackson Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 293	Self obsessed ass hole lol... Being inside you mind is self obsession. I need not constantly th9nk about what I should do. just accept what is happeining.

11-01-2010, 04:04 PM	#57 (permalink)
DominicJackson Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 293	Yes I understand this, thank you for reliterating it to me. I guess I do not understand it. If there is no right and wrong will I have to be happy with everything? Or can I choose? I feel like if I just go with the flow I will end up in situations I am not happy in. like being in the same crowd of friends forever. Like a dead end. Where does ego begin and end without effecting our own independant thoughts of what we actually want? What we really like? I am following my heart from now on and do not want to do things I feel uncomfortable doing. But with your theory and Ekhart Tolles, I should be happy with anything that is happening in my life, but it can cause stress adn then I should not be dong those things?

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