Respect for my Brother! Most respect.

[darksage3]

I must depart the forums and never come back, because of my Brother and my Brother only. My real life Brother who stands beside me no matter what, I am sorry guys, I love you all!

He perceives me for who I am, not for what I say!

I feel sick to my stomach when I come here, I know deep down my Brother hates it when I visit this site. I cannot stop that, and I cannot stop feeling sick while here. He has seen me be attacked and let you guys get to me so much these past few weeks, I never noticed what happens when I come to the forum, what coming to these forums does to him. I was spending so much time on me while being here I forgot about his feelings! How could I ever do this to my Brother, it makes me sick. I must leave before I hate myself, before he begins to hate me altogether. Before I fall too sick.

I must say Bye to you guys, my Brothers and Sisters in the forums! Its more logical than saying bye to my Brother who stands beside me in real life. I would rather have my own respect, then his respect standing next to me, then my Sisters respect standing next to him, and so on and so forth, I need my families respect who all stand beside each other and everyone around me, before I could ever gain the worlds respect at all.

It is not his fault, its pure logic for him to act how he is acting. He seen me so happy so many times only to come on the forum and take things to my heart, then I fall into my own traps and have to rebuild myself, then I come back here and let people get inside my head some more, up until now. I had to do this many times the past few weeks before I learned a great lesson, a huge lesson I will never forget. Thanks to everyone in my life teaching and helping me, but no one could ever give me their hand, I had to grab it myself and pull myself up! and not let everyone keep doing it for me. I will never fall into a trap, never question myself, never fail! I am truly free.

I truly hope everyone here is happy! I sure am, I am happy I found me, finally, I can be who I want to be, a happy light! I hope I shined before I left, that is my final wish! For people to see me for who I really am. It is impossible to show personality through posts on the internet, its how you perceive the posts, but you cannot perceive personality in real life, someone has to present it! But I believe it is possible to do online with the right approach through posts, I believe I could have done it! It is possible, it takes time, Patience is a virtue!!!

Believe it guys, dont let anyone help you unless your willing to help yourself, dont let anyone get to you and dont let anyone make you question yourself, if they do make you do this, maybe you should question yourself like I have been doing my whole life, if people upset you, or if you cannot achieve something, then its your fault and no one elses! I no longer question myself when people try to make me, EVER. I know I am right at all times, and I can be respectful to those respectful to me, and I am not wrong in doing this. Except I would much rather choose to be respectful to everyone, even after someone is disrespectful to me, whether consciously or unconsciously, that is TRUE respect, not just respecting who you want, but respecting everyone whether you dislike what they say or not, or no matter who they are, period. I learn everyday guys, every second. I never stop learning, no one does. Pure truth. I learn with every breathe, and so do you, breathe consciously!

I quit blaming and using labels, quit blaming parents, quit blaming my life and everyone in it! I had a bad life did I? NO I DID NOT! I created a bad one! by blaming everything and everyone at all times! Using labels at all times, using OTHER peoples beliefs at all times! its time I create a new life, with no labels and no blame but for myself when I make mistakes, one where I respect even those who "hate" me, or say they do, but their is no such thing as hate, maybe jealousy, or rage, or blame, but "hate" is what comes out when someone talks before they speak, it is a word made up my a mistake, an accident, when they let smaller things build up and they choose to blame them, when someone chooses to blame another person for their own problems, it builds up, it can lead to an unexistant feeling called "hate", and only you could make that feeling or illusion possible, no one can do it for you.

I quit blaming everyone and everything for once, I finally blamed myself! and Look, I am shining as Bright as I want to! Thanks everyone. I hope you all find LIGHT!!! Only we ourselves are to blame.

Good bye everyone! I love the world, I love you all, but most of all, I love God the most! because He is the one who taught me to love, he taught me everything I need to know, he made me everything I need to be from the day I was born, it just took me 20 years to see it. 20 years is long for some, but i have many years ahead to be me. And patience is a virtue, breathing consciously!

[cacheborn]

I feel as if I am reading waiting for Godot, only in reverse.

[lookcloser]

I'm gonna miss the all drama.

[ButterflyWoman]

You've been banned from other forum(s), and banned twice here. It is very clear that you are unable to function well in an interactive internet forum, where people might disagree with you and people hold contrary opinions that you don't agree with.

I agree with your brother. You should leave, for your own well-being.

Please don't turn this into more drama, with a big "Goodbye Forum" post and then you keep coming back, and back, and back (as you did after two bans here, already). If you truly want to move on and stop this cycle, you need to really MOVE ON and STOP, so just go, and find something else to do with your time and energy and focus. You'll be much happier that way.

I wish you well on your path.

[ZephyrusX]

Seriously question here: are you trolling or are you just desperate for attention (or is there any real difference between the two?) There are far easier ways of maintaining a healthy dosage of social interaction and attention without… acting… the way you do… I’m sure plenty of people on this forum would be glad to help you if that is really what you want.

I can tell you put a lot of effort into your posts (evidently to get our attention) and I admire you for that. But wouldn’t you like to engage people on less strenuous and more effective grounds (as in people not ‘walking out of your thread’ after reading the first two sentences because they don’t know WTH you are talking about?)

Do you like the current relationships that you produce on this forum? If not, why not change them rather than just leave?

In case you really are leaving this time, 'good bye' darksage. Good luck to you.

[newsbone]

Originally Posted by darksage3

He perceives me for who I am, not for what I say!

You are what you say....Goodbye anyway!

[dream]

I'm lost. Maybe it is a cultural thing, an audition, an apology, an out of body experience, teen hormones? I don't get it. Translator please. Does anyone speak alien? lol

[Acting Like Godot]

Goodbye to Darkage 3.

Another week or so, hello to Darkage 4.

[Excellent Lodestar]

Originally Posted by lookcloser

I'm gonna miss the all drama.

I wouldn't sweat that too much; it'll come from somewhere else---bank on it.
after all, what is "personal development" without it?

[Weena]

Honestly i didn't read the whole thing as it looked like a repeat. Take good care of yourself darksage. Bye-sies.

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Another week or so, hello to Darkage 4.

New and improved, now with extra enlightenment and a special bonus if we call in the next half hour?

[cylon]

This is perfect evidence of why trying to be a guru is a dead end.

All it does is make you feel separate from yourself. In order for you to be superior and enlightened, I have to be unenlightened and weak. Yet we are all one. So there can't be an enlightened and unenlightened co-existing. It's all or nothing.

Until you see everyone as your equal, you have nothing to offer. That's only my opinion, of course.

[rickrock]

Originally Posted by cylon

This is perfect evidence of why trying to be a guru is a dead end.

All it does is make you feel separate from yourself. In order for you to be superior and enlightened, I have to be unenlightened and weak. Yet we are all one. So there can't be an enlightened and unenlightened co-existing. It's all or nothing.

Until you see everyone as your equal, you have nothing to offer. That's only my opinion, of course.

Hey, I'd like to hope ALL "guru's" aren't like that! I'm sure part of being enlightened is realizing that they are all one and equal.

AGAIN darksage: I wish you well. Hope life is everything you want it to be. With as much love as possible,
Ricky

[cylon]

I think there's a difference between people coming to you naturally because they feel some sort of truth coming from you, and standing up on a mountain top and demanding that if people don't listen to your message you're going to throw a temper tantrum.

One is a leader naturally, without any intention to be so. The other wants to be a leader so badly that no one wants to hear their message.

[rickrock]

Originally Posted by cylon

I think there's a difference between people coming to you naturally because they feel some sort of truth coming from you, and standing up on a mountain top and demanding that if people don't listen to your message you're going to throw a temper tantrum.

One is a leader naturally, without any intention to be so. The other wants to be a leader so badly that no one wants to hear their message.

There you go!
Eh, I feel like this thread might get a lot of drama very soon. This should be fun

[wolfgang]

deja vu

Jai Guru Deva Om

[James81]

Originally Posted by darksage3

I feel sick to my stomach when I come here,

Are you retiring????????

[desertrat]

To be banned hear twice takes some doing , the mods seam fair and decent, and quite open minded. There are lots of inter net forums maby you can find one more in tune with your thinking . desert rat

[AaronB]

Is the message of the humble messenger really of any more value then the message of the demanding one? Perhaps it is more easily digested depending on the sensitivity of the stomach digesting it. But what if no message is really better than any other? What if all messages were welcomed in the same way, with arms all the way wide open. Then the stomach could digest anything it receives. And everything would be delicious and nutritious and healthy.

[VinceG]

Originally Posted by AaronB

Is the message of the humble messenger really of any more value then the message of the demanding one? Perhaps it is more easily digested depending on the sensitivity of the stomach digesting it. But what if no message is really better than any other? What if all messages were welcomed in the same way, with arms all the way wide open. Then the stomach could digest anything it receives. And everything would be delicious and nutritious and healthy.

Great insight there.

[cylon]

One is a message of separation, the other is a message of wholeness. Depending on your perspective, one is going to me more relevant than the other.

But if you're looking for wholeness, then I don't think the demanding message cuts it. The demanding message is based on the idea that someone is separate from you and if they don't become like you, they are in trouble. The wholeness message is I am whole, and since we are one, so are you.

[AaronB]

Originally Posted by cylon

One is a message of separation, the other is a message of wholeness. Depending on your perspective, one is going to me more relevant than the other.

But if you're looking for wholeness, then I don't think the demanding message cuts it. The demanding message is based on the idea that someone is separate from you and if they don't become like you, they are in trouble. The wholeness message is I am whole, and since we are one, so are you.

It depends on where wholeness lives. If wholeness is a criteria for another to follow, then they will either live up to that criteria or not. And this other will be rejected or not depending on how they live up to the conditions they are measured by.

But if wholeness is a perception that is used, then all must be accepted. Even a message of separation must be accepted fully. Not necessarily accepted as a course of action to follow, but as a perfectly valid place for another to be expressing at this moment.

Someone can demand anything of another. That is okay. It doesn't mean that the demand must be met. Feeling required to meet another's demands is a form of codependency. It can be let go of without really hurting anything.

[cylon]

Originally Posted by AaronB

Feeling required to meet another's demands is a form of codependency. It can be let go of without really hurting anything.

Good point.

[desertrat]

[QUOTE=darksage3;677523]I must depart the forums and never come back, because of my Brother and my Brother only. My real life Brother who stands beside me no matter what, I am sorry guys, I love you all!

He perceives me for who I am, not for what I say!

I feel sick to my stomach when I come here, I know deep down my Brother hates it when I visit this site. I cannot stop that, and I cannot stop feeling sick while here. He has seen me be attacked and let you guys get to me so much these past few weeks, I never noticed what happens when I come to the forum, what coming to these forums does to him. I was spending so much time on me while being here I forgot about his feelings! How could I ever do this to my Brother, it makes me sick. I must leave before I hate myself, before he begins to hate me altogether. Before I fall too sick.

Is some one holding a gun to your head , forcing you to log on ? I enjoy being on this forum , I dont agree with ever body , but this is real life . Turn off the computer , do some yoga , deep breathing ect. desert rat

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by AaronB

Is the message of the humble messenger really of any more value then the message of the demanding one?

Ah. This is something I learned a very long time ago (and not necessarily related to anything guru-like).

You can have the world's greatest and most significant truth to tell someone, but if you deliver it like a ranting madman, and smack them around (metaphorically or literally) to make them listen to it, you're not going to be heard. It's just the basic nature of humanity. Almost nobody will take the advice or listen to the "wisdom" of someone who shows absolutely no sign that they are wise or have any means by which to discern the truth.

This will be useful knowledge to me if I ever have any great truths to impart, I'm sure (I'm still waiting on that one, heh), but in the meantime, it's a useful rule of thumb for separating the chaff from the wheat when it comes to messages delivered TO me (not all messages come with an easily discernible messenger, of course).

Originally Posted by AaronB

But if wholeness is a perception that is used, then all must be accepted. Even a message of separation must be accepted fully.

As what? I certainly did get some "take away" messages and awareness from some of darksage's behaviours, but they were NOT what he was consciously trying to communicate. I took away a message about certain people in my own life and who I used to be, and some other personal stuff that I won't bother to detail. I got the message, I got MY message, from the presence of this messenger, but the messenger would no doubt have a tantrum like no other if he were given the whole story of precisely what I got from him (let's just say, it's not flattering to the ego).

[elucidate]

How dramatic. maybe pursuing a career as an actor would be a healthy option for you darksage 3?

Just a suggestion. You'd make a great Hamlet

[AaronB]

Originally Posted by CaterpillarWoman

Ah. This is something I learned a very long time ago (and not necessarily related to anything guru-like).

You can have the world's greatest and most significant truth to tell someone, but if you deliver it like a ranting madman, and smack them around (metaphorically or literally) to make them listen to it, you're not going to be heard. It's just the basic nature of humanity. Almost nobody will take the advice or listen to the "wisdom" of someone who shows absolutely no sign that they are wise or have any means by which to discern the truth.

This will be useful knowledge to me if I ever have any great truths to impart, I'm sure (I'm still waiting on that one, heh), but in the meantime, it's a useful rule of thumb for separating the chaff from the wheat when it comes to messages delivered TO me (not all messages come with an easily discernible messenger, of course).

Whether one is heard or not really seems to depend on the listener as much as the speaker. If one is barbaric in speech, it seems many listeners will be upset by this and pay attention primarily to the barbaric tone. What if there was some great wisdom to impart? What wisdom is there? What thought is there of dire or wonderful consequence for anyone to impart? Someone might deliver this wonderful concept, but even wonderful concepts get old after some time. Perhaps the joy of experiencing another human being is experiencing the spontaneity that they present, with nothing to get out of it. If one is attached to getting a truth or wisdom out of this person, then the person will have value or not depending on the amount of truth or wisdom that is offered.

Originally Posted by CaterpillarWoman

As what? I certainly did get some "take away" messages and awareness from some of darksage's behaviours, but they were NOT what he was consciously trying to communicate. I took away a message about certain people in my own life and who I used to be, and some other personal stuff that I won't bother to detail. I got the message, I got MY message, from the presence of this messenger, but the messenger would no doubt have a tantrum like no other if he were given the whole story of precisely what I got from him (let's just say, it's not flattering to the ego).

As a rainbow of fruit flavors Tast the rainbow! It's wonderful! What would one do with a take away message if one got one? Why does it matter what one is consciously trying to communicate? Then perhaps one might say one is rejecting the message. But if one sees a little more then the little conscious intention, and looks at the beauty that surrounds it, one sees so much!

[desertrat]

I think darksage has left the building ( from the Elvis days) She might return a happier girl , who knows. desert rat

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by AaronB

If one is barbaric in speech, it seems many listeners will be upset by this and pay attention primarily to the barbaric tone.

Yes, that certainly appears to be the case in my reality. In most realities, from what I've heard.

Originally Posted by AaronB

What if there was some great wisdom to impart?

If there is an important message for me, it will reach me, whether or not I care to entertain any particular messenger or pay attention to them.

Originally Posted by AaronB

What wisdom is there?

Well, it's all illusionary. But it can seem like wisdom at various stages of awareness. Ultimately, there's nothing that anybody needs to hear from anyone, ever, when you get right down to it.

Originally Posted by AaronB

Perhaps the joy of experiencing another human being is experiencing the spontaneity that they present, with nothing to get out of it.

Yes. And?

Originally Posted by AaronB

If one is attached to getting a truth or wisdom out of this person, then the person will have value or not depending on the amount of truth or wisdom that is offered.

Attachment can also lead to profound frustration and anger when/if the messenger/guru/teacher/whoever doesn't deliver up to the expectations of the listener.

Originally Posted by AaronB

What would one do with a take away message if one got one?

Whatever one intuitively feels is best in the moment. (That's what this one did. )

Originally Posted by AaronB

Why does it matter what one is consciously trying to communicate?

That's an interesting point. I have pets and some wild bird friends who communicate very clearly, and I doubt they do it consciously (okay, my cat does, because she's the most conscious being I have encountered, but she's an unusual being ). Plants also communicate, and while I have no doubt as to their life, if they have consciousness, it's organised in a way that humans can't easily understand. Interesting material for meditation, that.

Essentially, there's a kind of balance or equilibrium between seeing no boundaries, having minimal filters, dropping all judgments, etc., and keeping some measure of presence in the material aspect of that which we call reality.

One can walk around with one's mouth gaping open in awe, certainly, but one might or might not enjoy the experience of swallowing a fly. (This one has done that on more than one occasion; it's not something this one cares to repeat, literally or metaphorically. )

[AaronB]

Originally Posted by CaterpillarWoman

Essentially, there's a kind of balance or equilibrium between seeing no boundaries, having minimal filters, dropping all judgments, etc., and keeping some measure of presence in the material aspect of that which we call reality.

One can walk around with one's mouth gaping open in awe, certainly, but one might or might not enjoy the experience of swallowing a fly. (This one has done that on more than one occasion; it's not something this one cares to repeat, literally or metaphorically. )

This sound similar to the balance between letting go and holding on. One couldn't just let go of everything? That would be like 100% percent trust with no precautions. Ideal? Yes. Feasible? Only in increments.