Huge Breakthrough....So much makes sense to me now

[renie408]

I began my latest spurt of personal development a couple of months ago because I was struggling with depression and felt like if I didn't figure some things out, I wasn't going to make it. I started with The Secret and worked my way through a lot of books on the LOA and I/M. Through that process, I found this website and began to be exposed to different ideas on SR and other things. I began listening to Eckhart Tolle and much of what he says really resonates with me. I have had a really hard time with SR, Steve's polarity stuff, with certain public tragedies and other things. On a gut level I cannot buy some of the interpretations of SR that I have read here. I don't think you can think away scarves on women's heads. I don't think I created my husband and kids. But then I was reading another post on this forum and something Dharma said just went CLICK in my head. I realized that the 'I' I have been referring to and to which most people here refer is NOT the collective 'I'. This is a small semantic detail which totally changes the meaning of everything. Most people I read are using SR to actually REINFORCE their separateness, not to end it. The part of them which likes the idea of being totally in control of their reality is the ego, not the true 'them'. When I look at all of 'us' in quotation marks, things really start to make sense to me.

When 'I' think of the Big Bang as an event which separated a single thing into an infinite variety of smaller bits, that makes sense on a scientific level. When I think of the Big Bang as an event which separated a conciousness into an infinite variety of aspects of itself, that makes sense on a spiritual level. The I which creates my reality is not this separate 'I' who has a name and an address and two kids and a husband. That 'I' is one of the separate aspects, yet not truly any more separate than one cell in 'my' brain is separate from another. The 'I' who is the creator of my reality is the greater 'I'. I think the greater 'I' is looking for completion, to reintegrate its aspects. All of us are parts of that effort. It explains why 'we' are always striving so desperately for completion within our 'selves'. And why we can never attain it. Because we are struggling for a SEPARATE completeness, not an INTEGRATED completeness.

When I look at the world this way, it is as if I have never seen it before. It explains morality and do unto others and why random acts of kindness increase our happiness and that of people around us. We are ALL us. Whenever you are cruel to another, you are in actual fact cruel to yourself and working AGAINST your greater purpose of integration. It's why there is a god and we are it. It's why darkworking IS false. If you work selfishly, you work AGAINST your greater purpose of coming together. It explains the LOA and why you need to REALLY understand the why's of the things you want. If you want them for completion, that is a false wanting. It explains to me what Tolle means when he says EVERYTHING is your practice. Through ANYTHING you do, any relationship you have, your work...ANYTHING, you can find an opportunity for unity and for growth.

I have probably not expressed any of this well. It is all so FRESH in my brain and feels so strange to me right now. But of anything I have ever thought or felt, it feels so RIGHT.