My personal journey into awarness.

[Candace Gill]

Hello everyone,

I am beyond excited to have found this amazing forum!

My name is Candace, I am a web designer and work full time from home. I always have thought of myself as a very intelligent person whom tries to learn and grow as much as possible.

My birthday was this last December and something extraordinary happened.

I felt utter peace. I have never experienced such a feeling and felt I had to understand why this was all of a sudden originating into my life. So I set out on a spiritual journey...

Christmas was even more exciting. I held Christmas at my place for the first time ever, my family has been estranged and so it was an interesting process. I had my family who is overly negative and include an underlying pretense with every exchange of energy with one another and we had my husbands family here as well, whom seem to let go and enjoy each moment as it comes.

I will never forget feeling both of my family's negative and positive energies meshed with in the room. Many of times I had to leave the room or simply zone out because of the insane pretense ideas coming from my family would make anyone go mad.
I stood outside in the cold and my husbands step father stepped out to have a cigarette and made the comment that I looked as if I was immersed deep in thought.
This broke it all open. I looked him in the eye and said, you know. I am.. I just can't understand why I have to live under the ideas my family has instilled into me.
My father in law looked me in the eye and said Candace? Do you stand behind who you are? I thought for a brief moment, looked up and said yes! YES I do stand behind who I am. He then said JUST LET GO...
He proceeded to tell me that as long as I was ok with who I was, I did not have to allow these pretenses to be attached to every bit of my social exchanges.

This was the most eye opening experience ever. I realized in that moment that 2 different conversations resonate within a social setting. One that is laced with negativity and preinstalled ideas and concepts and of course the positive energy where you feel completed.

So the next day was my daughters birthday. I had my husbands family over and became emotional and afraid to even come into the room. My mother in law stepped up to me, with me on the verge of tears. I told her that I was overly confused and her very words were, JUST LET GO Candace.

In that moment I let go. My mind sat quite for the rest of the evening...
We enjoyed a wonderful evening and although I felt dumber than a sack, I had no negative thought, feeling or fear enter my personal space for the rest of the night.
I have never experienced such as amazing feeling...

So I began digging deeper and deeper. Devouring information related to letting go, forgiveness and of course awareness and awakening.

Here I am now with many scribbled upon note pads of what I thought were ludicrous ideas and to find they are all being discussed makes me realize that my journey is right on track.

I look forward to getting to know all of you and to being a part of such an a wonderful place

Thank you allowing me to share,
Candace Gill

[Candace Gill]

I was laying outside on a beautiful day.
I had my notepad and my pen. My 2 children played near by...

My mind began reeling...

In this moment I realized that I am living my past, present and future via the immediate people surrounding my life.

At first it seemed insane. Downright crazy, but then I called my grandmother and shared my findings with her and we both shared in a beautiful conversation. Now when ever she calls me and leaves a message she playfully says, "Candace, this is your future calling" LOL

The whole idea came to me from a memory of a friend I lost touch with almost a year ago.

He is a young guy whom I shared many eye opening conversations with.
He had just been released from jail and had missed the first 2 years of his daughters life. I remember his guilt, his confusion and more importantly his heart.

Just then it hit me, my father has been incarcerated for his entire life, and never once did I try to reach out to him. I saw my father within my young friend. I saw myself with my young friends 2 year old daughter and I realized in that moment that history was repeating it's self.

I decided no matter what my fathers mistakes, I could not go through this life without contacting him and givng him complete forgiveness and hoping he could forgive me as well. (I am in the middle of this right now and don't have the outcome as of yet.)

Has anyone else expereinced something like this?

[DoAnyOfYouExist]

I don't have a lot of time to write, right now. I wanted to welcome you though, I love to see people searching for more than the almighty dollar. I see people in my life doing things I have done in my life or been through in my life and they always do it their own interesting way though. So in short I see my life repeating all around me everyday. What a long.... strange trip its been.... Once again welcome.

[Candace Gill]

Thank you doanyofyourexist

I have been loving every minute of this interesting adventure, and I would hope everyone else in the world was enjoying the very same things.