Are you familiar with the brain shutting down?

[Penelopi]

I just remembered, I had this experience before where I feel like my brain restarted it was a time before where I couldn't handle the stress. It is also the reason why my life is like this. I felt like an infant. I felt like I couldn't remember who I was. It was very bizarre and to be honest until now I am not okay. I feel like I will not be able to get myself back. I have no idea what it was... i feel like my memory was gone.

[The David]

Originally Posted by Penelopi

I just remembered, I had this experience before where I feel like my brain restarted it was a time before where I couldn't handle the stress. It is also the reason why my life is like this. I felt like an infant. I felt like I couldn't remember who I was. It was very bizarre and to be honest until now I am not okay. I feel like I will not be able to get myself back. I have no idea what it was... i feel like my memory was gone.

That happens to me all the time. If it happens in the middle of the night, I'll get out of bed and start freaking out until I get my memory back. During the day, it's a little less scary. I usually just shut myself off until I can make sense of whatever is going on.

Was this a one time thing, or does it happen a lot? It might have been a siezure, or maybe something like a fugue state?

[Penelopi]

Originally Posted by The David

That happens to me all the time. If it happens in the middle of the night, I'll get out of bed and start freaking out until I get my memory back. During the day, it's a little less scary. I usually just shut myself off until I can make sense of whatever is going on.

Was this a one time thing, or does it happen a lot? It might have been a siezure, or maybe something like a fugue state?

it was a one time thing and it has affected me so much. its scary. i think it has something to do with the stress.

[The David]

Was this a recent thing, or something from childhood?

[RagsToRiches]

Originally Posted by Penelopi

I just remembered, I had this experience before where I feel like my brain restarted it was a time before where I couldn't handle the stress. It is also the reason why my life is like this. I felt like an infant. I felt like I couldn't remember who I was. It was very bizarre and to be honest until now I am not okay. I feel like I will not be able to get myself back. I have no idea what it was... i feel like my memory was gone.

I have multiple different experiences like this...

One kind I don't even feel that calm, I actually feel very agressive if anything. But I feel absolute 0 stress and 0 pressure from anything. Everything becomes effortless and nothing is difficult, everything is simple - doing whatever, saying whatever, etc.

Another kind is more like how you describe. I posted recently when this feeling stuck for some time after a meditation. I was completely at peace with every moment and every thought.

You may think the first of those is the most dangerous, but in-fact it's the second one that's the most dangerous because I almost didn't bother going to work - and when I did I sat at my desk all day and just gazed into space. Strangely enough - no-one seemed to notice. And when they did, I just responded completely calmly and peacefully.

Office space got it pretty spot on.

[MariconesUnited]

Penelopi, I'm not sure if what I'm about to tell you about is what happened to you or not. But I do know that the brain "shuts down" so to speak as a defense system when it feels heavily attacked. What actually happens is that the reptilian brain, the most fundamental and primitive part of our brain, takes over the entirety of our system. It's a self-defense mechanism. And since it's an older, more primitive brain, our ability to logically think, feel are cut off and we enter into a sort of "survival mode", guided by instinct. This can be off-putting to the rational, thinking brain, since it's used to being in control, but let me assure you, you're still in control. It's just another part of you.

I learned all of this from a book by Dr. David Servan-Schreiber.

[Penelopi]

Originally Posted by The David

Was this a recent thing, or something from childhood?

happened in 2008. why?

[Penelopi]

Originally Posted by MariconesUnited

Penelopi, I'm not sure if what I'm about to tell you about is what happened to you or not. But I do know that the brain "shuts down" so to speak as a defense system when it feels heavily attacked. What actually happens is that the reptilian brain, the most fundamental and primitive part of our brain, takes over the entirety of our system. It's a self-defense mechanism. And since it's an older, more primitive brain, our ability to logically think, feel are cut off and we enter into a sort of "survival mode", guided by instinct. This can be off-putting to the rational, thinking brain, since it's used to being in control, but let me assure you, you're still in control. It's just another part of you.

yes yes exactly, this is I think what happened. I'm kind of familiar of what was happening I just couldn't point it out I guess because it was happening to me. It would be stupid to know I'm using a defense mechanism but at the same time couldn't control myself. When you say heavily attacked, that's what I was feeling. I just shut down. I feel like im just going w/ the flow w/o thinking, until now actually. I think I'm still in a survival mode. So do you have any idea how I will fix this thing?

[Penelopi]

Originally Posted by RagsToRiches

I have multiple different experiences like this...

One kind I don't even feel that calm, I actually feel very agressive if anything. But I feel absolute 0 stress and 0 pressure from anything. Everything becomes effortless and nothing is difficult, everything is simple - doing whatever, saying whatever, etc.

Another kind is more like how you describe. I posted recently when this feeling stuck for some time after a meditation. I was completely at peace with every moment and every thought.

You may think the first of those is the most dangerous, but in-fact it's the second one that's the most dangerous because I almost didn't bother going to work - and when I did I sat at my desk all day and just gazed into space. Strangely enough - no-one seemed to notice. And when they did, I just responded completely calmly and peacefully.

Office space got it pretty spot on.

Well, yours has a good effect on you mine is more like really shut down. Like maricones said, survival mode.

[The David]

Originally Posted by Penelopi

happened in 2008. why?

You said you "just remembered." I wasn't sure if it was a long time ago.

I've had dissociative symptoms for as long as I can remember. They vary from feelings of detachment, to regression, to amnesia.

Current psychological thought on the subject isn't too helpful for some people, but what you mentioned sounds like "Depersonalization." It can be a defense mechanism, and if something stressful happened to you before the incident, then that's probably the case. It's at least a better explanation than just "going crazy," since it takes a certain level of mental resilience to be able to dissociate in the first place.

[Penelopi]

Originally Posted by The David

You said you "just remembered." I wasn't sure if it was a long time ago.

I've had dissociative symptoms for as long as I can remember. They vary from feelings of detachment, to regression, to amnesia.

Current psychological thought on the subject isn't too helpful for some people, but what you mentioned sounds like "Depersonalization." It can be a defense mechanism, and if something stressful happened to you before the incident, then that's probably the case. It's at least a better explanation than just "going crazy," since it takes a certain level of mental resilience to be able to dissociate in the first place.

That too, I think happened to me. If I try to remember, I feel detached, I know I regressed, and then suddenly brain shut off. Like I have no idea who I am. Right now is an extension of what happened to me, so its almost like 2 yrs? Are you ok now? I have no idea how to fix this, like should I face the issue? When in the first place it is the reason it happened to me? I seriously have no idea.

[NexusOfCompletion]

What a lucky experience! You were given the opportunity to re-write your life. People are so conditioned and socially imprinted that rarely does one get the chance to see beyond the constructed self, which is entirely arbitrary and unreal.

Here is how I know that your experience was special. Brain change is most effective when someone is in an infantile like state of mind. This mind is pure and unconditioned. You were probably frightened as your past and "secure" life was seemingly cut from beneath. This was a glimpse into the inner workings of your mind.

A very powerful experience indeed, that many have no idea what or why it is happening. This is your true nature. Take control of your mind. Stop being a slave to your lower aspects and take control of who you are.

This is a time for you to reevaluate all of your values. Think about everything you took for granted and what you considered to be truth.

If you want to know more send me a PM!

[theuprising]

Originally Posted by The David

That happens to me all the time. If it happens in the middle of the night, I'll get out of bed and start freaking out until I get my memory back. During the day, it's a little less scary. I usually just shut myself off until I can make sense of whatever is going on.

Was this a one time thing, or does it happen a lot? It might have been a siezure, or maybe something like a fugue state?

That seems like ordinary amnesia, not your "brain shutting down", amnesiacs remember some stuff and forget others, for example, you remembered that you should be scared that you didn't have memories, you subconscious memory was still functioning.

[theuprising]

Originally Posted by Penelopi

That too, I think happened to me. If I try to remember, I feel detached, I know I regressed, and then suddenly brain shut off. Like I have no idea who I am. Right now is an extension of what happened to me, so its almost like 2 yrs? Are you ok now? I have no idea how to fix this, like should I face the issue? When in the first place it is the reason it happened to me? I seriously have no idea.

Wow what kindof stress was this that made your brain shut down? I remember I was INCREDIBLY high off of weed b/c a lot of factors and FREAKING OUT OF MY MIND, on the verge of insanity. I went into the deepest parts of my subconscious and met my darkest fears, many of which I buried years ago. The most horrifying thing I faced off was my fear of annihilation, instead of remembering back to a time when I was 4, the furthest back my memories usually go, this fear seemed to echo to when I was 1 and further back, to the root of my existence.

And I was staring at it, and boy I sure wish my brain shut off, it was like I was living a nightmare

[The David]

Originally Posted by NexusOfCompletion

What a lucky experience! You were given the opportunity to re-write your life. People are so conditioned and socially imprinted that rarely does one get the chance to see beyond the constructed self, which is entirely arbitrary and unreal.

I don't think that's really the case. Maybe it was for Penelopi, I can't say, but it definitely isn't the case with me.

One very important thing I've learned through all of this:

If I want to fix a problem, and the problem is myself, I have to be in the same mindset I was when the problem started. Otherwise, making the change is equivalent to creating an alter ego. The original problem is still there, I've just distanced myself from it.

[Penelopi]

Originally Posted by theuprising

Wow what kindof stress was this that made your brain shut down? I remember I was INCREDIBLY high off of weed b/c a lot of factors and FREAKING OUT OF MY MIND, on the verge of insanity. I went into the deepest parts of my subconscious and met my darkest fears, many of which I buried years ago. The most horrifying thing I faced off was my fear of annihilation, instead of remembering back to a time when I was 4, the furthest back my memories usually go, this fear seemed to echo to when I was 1 and further back, to the root of my existence.

And I was staring at it, and boy I sure wish my brain shut off, it was like I was living a nightmare

Yes yes, that happened to me. A lot of things are invading my brain and also at the verge of literal insanity. I also went into the deepest, darkest and weirdest part of subconscious, you have no idea how it change me, my lord, the feeling, I swear I was about to breakdown. I am actually surprised that I could still function after that happened. I seriously feel like I am insane, I feel like I don't know how to create a conversation. That was when my brain shut down, I felt like an infant, and it is not just my imagination, people have commented that I look like a child. I felt like I was back to zero and nothing with me. Lucky for you, you took weed, I mean you weren't conscious when it happened to you. But me, I was fully conscious and I wasn't even high!

[Penelopi]

Originally Posted by The David

I don't think that's really the case. Maybe it was for Penelopi, I can't say, but it definitely isn't the case with me.

One very important thing I've learned through all of this:

If I want to fix a problem, and the problem is myself, I have to be in the same mindset I was when the problem started. Otherwise, making the change is equivalent to creating an alter ego. The original problem is still there, I've just distanced myself from it.

The David, I know what you mean, this was my plan. To let it stay where it is, I'm just gonna take a break from people but the break lasted for almost 2 yrs! This is because of other factors that contributes to my problem, I feel like my consciousness has changed, you know what I mean and this is what I'm avoiding to happen but I am not losing hope that its still there. I know I'm going to be able to achieve that consciousness again, it was just suppressed but the problem is how will I be able to get it back when there is a new consciousness that overlaps it?