List of Questions!

[hotwired]

Hi All
I have been keeping track of questions I have as they come up around the nature of reality, how "things" work, so to speak, and would like to now "dump" these questions on you poor unsuspecting blokes!

Q. How can we erase or reduce past karma? I've heard that we must pay our karmic debts. Does this mean, literally, that if I sewed "100 lbs of misery" in my past, that I must also endure "100 lbs" back or am I being too literal??

A.


Q. what are some ways of tackling some really persistent negative thoughts and daydreams. (bad things happening to people you love, doing things you know you would never that would wreck your life, etc.)

A.


Q. Sometimes it feels selfish to focus on feeling good (per the advice of all "LOA" proponents) and I get panicky thinking that perhaps I'm forgetting something as a father, husband, etc.. Any thoughts?

A.


Q. If I'm feeling sh***y about something I did, what's the highest course? I don't want to ignore it. I mean, I want to make sure I take whatever steps I can to learn from it and move on, but I don't want to get stuck in guilt, remorse and fear. (i.e. spoke sharply to my wife, or even something a year or more in the past)

A.



Thanks Everyone

Ken LaVoie

Winslow, Maine USA

[eastcoastgirl]

First of all, let me say how sorry I am that you are experiencing these feelings. I can identify because I have struggled with these types of issues for a long time. I know all the guilt and worry can be painful and draining. After therapy and medication off and on most of my adult life, over the last few months, I have been trying different techniques to rid myself of these thoughts and feelings, and I have had some success. In fact, I’ve had more success than I ever had before. I'm still in therapy, but I am not on medication at the moment. So, there is hope.

Q. How can we erase or reduce past karma? I've heard that we must pay our karmic debts. Does this mean, literally, that if I sewed "100 lbs of misery" in my past, that I must also endure "100 lbs" back or am I being too literal??

A. My understanding of paying karmic debts is that your spirit pays them with each life that it lives, not necessarily all in one lifetime. I’m not sure I believe all that.


Q. what are some ways of tackling some really persistent negative thoughts and daydreams. (bad things happening to people you love, doing things you know you would never that would wreck your life, etc.)

A. If they are persistent and upsetting, you may need therapy and medication. You can try meditation. I’m not very good at it yet, but it is effective in disciplining your mind. There are also therapeutic techniques, like cognitive-behavioral therapy, that can reduce obsessive or depressive thoughts. With cognitive therapy, you would learn to recognize and change faulty thinking patterns. It’s not about positive thinking or thinking happy thoughts. It's a way to gain control over racing, repetitive thoughts that often feed or trigger anxiety. Here are some websites explaining this type of therapy:

http://www.academyofct.org/Library/InfoManage/Guide.asp?FolderID=1001&SessionID={BFBE114A-41E8-44A2-A9C9-28C343D1467F}

What is Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy?

Mental Help Net - Psychological Self-Tools - Online Self-Help Book


Q. Sometimes it feels selfish to focus on feeling good (per the advice of all "LOA" proponents) and I get panicky thinking that perhaps I'm forgetting something as a father, husband, etc.. Any thoughts?

A. I’m not sure what you mean here, but I’ll take a stab. I don’t see feeling good as separate from being a responsible father or husband. It’s not either/or. You can still feel happiness and honor your responsibilities. In fact, you could feel happiness because you honor your responsibilities. I know that the proponents of LOA focus on getting the expensive car and house and lots of money, lots of material wealth, but my understanding of LOA is that at the heart of it is gratitude, forgiveness of others and yourself, unconditional love, and compassion. It’s not just about material wealth; it’s also about emotional and spiritual wealth. For example, if you love your wife and children unconditionally, LOA says that they will love you unconditionally. And that would presumably make you feel good. Voila! Now, if your problem is that you don't feel that you deserve to feel good, then forgiving yourself would be a step in helping you to get over that.


Q. If I'm feeling sh***y about something I did, what's the highest course? I don't want to ignore it. I mean, I want to make sure I take whatever steps I can to learn from it and move on, but I don't want to get stuck in guilt, remorse and fear. (i.e. spoke sharply to my wife, or even something a year or more in the past)

A. I’ve found that it helps to remember that we are all imperfect people. We all make mistakes. Every one of us. You’re not alone. Again, meditation helps. Another thing is to delve deep into your actions, guilt, insecurities, and fears, as painful as that may be, and try to figure out what was behind them, realize that you still have value as a person, and forgive and love yourself unconditionally. It’s very difficult, but it can be done. Just because you did some things that you regret doesn’t mean that you are a bad person.

Here are some websites that may help:

The tools for personal growth are helpful in this one
Coping.org, Tools for coping with life's stressors

Personal Growth Course - 'The Positive Approach'

Joe Vitale Is "Mr. Fire" for Copywriting, Promotion, and Marketing Consulting

A Simple Way to Understand Hooponopono

I hope this helps. I’m sure others will have helpful suggestions as well. I think being in this forum is a step in the right direction.

Good luck in your journey.

[Alex]

Originally Posted by hotwired

Q. If I'm feeling sh***y about something I did, what's the highest course? I don't want to ignore it. I mean, I want to make sure I take whatever steps I can to learn from it and move on, but I don't want to get stuck in guilt, remorse and fear. (i.e. spoke sharply to my wife, or even something a year or more in the past)

A. In my opinion a good course of action to take is to remind yourself that you are not a bad person, that you are a good person that did a "bad" thing. I know this seems elementary, but I think its fundamental. Consider that the real guilt is in thinking that you will repeat these actions in the future. By having a positive outlook and analyzing your paradigm to see why you behaved this way in the past you can prevent this from happening in the present.

As far as the speaking sharply to your wife. Maybe all it is, is a habit that was formed. A certain way of communicating that became common place. Break the pattern. If Anthony Robbins was your life coach and you told him to help you with this problem, I think he would just SLAP you when he heard you yell at your wife. This may sound crude, but the negative feelings you get from that slap will trigger your brain to stop next time you want to yell. This may sound even more crude, but next time you do yell, step into a private place and slap yourself, hard. Make that a habit and we'll see how long your negative action persists.

You seem like a good guy since you're worried about doing such things and because you want to work on it. I hope the system is of use to you.

[AndyMartin]

Originally Posted by hotwired

Q. How can we erase or reduce past karma? I've heard that we must pay our karmic debts. Does this mean, literally, that if I sewed "100 lbs of misery" in my past, that I must also endure "100 lbs" back or am I being too literal??

A. If you pick up 100 lbs., you must put down 100 lbs. Preferably before your arms get tired and you drop it on your toe.

Originally Posted by hotwired

Q. what are some ways of tackling some really persistent negative thoughts and daydreams. (bad things happening to people you love, doing things you know you would never that would wreck your life, etc.)

A. Thoughts about negative thoughts are themselves negative thoughts. Fighting negative thoughts keeps them around. Consciousness is an empty space into which thoughts, emotions and exterior experiences arise. Anything you hold onto stays in there and creates more. When something arises in your space that you don't want; allow it to leave and turn your attention back to what you do want.

This is why gratitude is a powerful tool; it turns your awareness to positive thought and emotion and creates an attitude of allowing. When you notice negative thoughts arising, consciously turn away and notice everything good that is arising.

Originally Posted by hotwired

Q. Sometimes it feels selfish to focus on feeling good (per the advice of all "LOA" proponents) and I get panicky thinking that perhaps I'm forgetting something as a father, husband, etc.. Any thoughts?

A. Elevate your intentions to the highest level possible. Some people will teach you to be very specific in your intentions, and when you have specific desires you need to do that. But when you want to change your general bearing, you can't turn the ship one board at a time. For top-down changes, adopt top-down intentions. Again, turn away from the negative and doubting feelings and adopt gratitude and confidence.

Originally Posted by hotwired

Q. If I'm feeling sh***y about something I did, what's the highest course? I don't want to ignore it. I mean, I want to make sure I take whatever steps I can to learn from it and move on, but I don't want to get stuck in guilt, remorse and fear. (i.e. spoke sharply to my wife, or even something a year or more in the past)

A. See answer 1.



I hope my thoughts are helpful to you, Ken. I think the most important thing is to find a way to connect with your joy -- which is always there -- in every conscious moment, and as your awareness increases, the moments of conscious joy will increase and take over the space of your awareness.

Best,
Andy

[ethereal]

Q. How can we erase or reduce past karma? I've heard that we must pay our karmic debts. Does this mean, literally, that if I sewed "100 lbs of misery" in my past, that I must also endure "100 lbs" back or am I being too literal??

A. Theoretically, yes... but it can take many different forms, and it may not feel like 100 lbs particularly, maybe more and maybe less. Karma is a tricky thing

Karma is basically your entire inheritance since the beginning of the universe that's made you who you are right this moment. So basically, you are your karma, and your experiences (attracted via LOA), emotions, beliefs, etc. will reflect what lessons you probably need to learn. Much of this is unconscious.

However, there are easy ways to undo negative karma, and that is to raise your level of consciousness. The intention is the key; be willing to surrender all your presumptions, judgments, grudges, jealousies, selfishnesses, "being right", negativities, etc. and to be kind, forgiving, and compassionate to all sentient beings. That's a real quick way to undo tons of negative karma; as Dr. Hawkins once said, "one kind or forgiving thought can undo a lifetime of negative karma."

People make it more complicated than it really is; basically, it's just improving your life right now as it is the only complication is that there are an infinite amount of factors and probably tons of lifetimes that you don't know you've lived before, all hidden in the unconscious. However, you don't need to know the details in order to undo it; most of the indicators are already present in your life.


Q. what are some ways of tackling some really persistent negative thoughts and daydreams. (bad things happening to people you love, doing things you know you would never that would wreck your life, etc.)

A. Don't be attached to it (note that attachment can take the form of both desire and fear). Stuff like the Sedona method, EFT, etc. can also help. Just witness the thoughts passing through your mind, and like holding water in your hands, it will eventually pass if you don't "juice" the thought and pay attention to it. Being interested in it, even if you "don't want" it per se, will tend to bring up similar things via "like attracts like" or to keep replaying it.


Q. Sometimes it feels selfish to focus on feeling good (per the advice of all "LOA" proponents) and I get panicky thinking that perhaps I'm forgetting something as a father, husband, etc.. Any thoughts?

A. LOA is a tool that can help speed up your personal/spiritual development. I'm not a huge fan of using it, as I know that I am ignorant of what is actually in my best interests, and so I'll just let the universe/God handle it and avoid directing it in one way or another

I think prayer and contemplation on what serves the highest good of all will help point you in the right direction, without the need for LOA.

Q. If I'm feeling sh***y about something I did, what's the highest course? I don't want to ignore it. I mean, I want to make sure I take whatever steps I can to learn from it and move on, but I don't want to get stuck in guilt, remorse and fear. (i.e. spoke sharply to my wife, or even something a year or more in the past)

A. Take responsibility, but guilt/remorse/fear is just self-indulgence. Nobody ever said you had to feel guilty about it