Courage To Neutrality

[Iolanthe]

I reckon that I'm at the level of courage but getting to the stage where moving to neutrality could be possible. I actually go ahead and do the things that I'm scared of and then find out that the fear was the worst part of the experience itself. However, when I was 16 (I'm 18 now) I went through a phase of being interested in drugs and I overdid it with cannabis and ended up having the mother of all panic attacks. This sent me down to the level of fear as I was constantly anxious and then I became depressed. I think I have risen out of this by making several big alterations in my life which have changed the things that made me want to try drugs in the first place; the boredom, wanting spiritual advancement (thinking drugs would give me that), being unhappy with my home situation etc.

I'm wondering if back then I was in the level of courage, like now and wanting to move up to the next level. Since I had confidence I used drugs without caution and thinking of the negative consequences. I think maybe I could make this mistake again if I am not careful, not with drugs but maybe with something else and like I'm missing the key that would take me to neutrality. I feel similar to then, as if I just want to do things for the thrills. I got my ears pierced just because I wanted to overcome my fear and now I feel like getting more piercings because the process of getting scared but overcoming it is quite exciting. And similarly I tried smoking because I thought I would get an high, it would be exciting.

How does the transition from courage to neutrality work and actually I just read that boredom is to do with neutrality so is it possible I'm sort of moving up and wanting to extreme things is a result of a lack of anticipating future fear?

Hmm, maybe the thing to do is not to use my courage to do things on a whim but to put that energy towards doing things that used to scare me but will pay off in the long term. For example I haven't yet had a job.

Sorry if this isn't very clear, my head is a bit muzzy (new medication )

[Bative]

Originally Posted by Iolanthe

I reckon that I'm at the level of courage but getting to the stage where moving to neutrality could be possible. I actually go ahead and do the things that I'm scared of and then find out that the fear was the worst part of the experience itself. However, when I was 16 (I'm 18 now) I went through a phase of being interested in drugs and I overdid it with cannabis and ended up having the mother of all panic attacks. This sent me down to the level of fear as I was constantly anxious and then I became depressed. I think I have risen out of this by making several big alterations in my life which have changed the things that made me want to try drugs in the first place; the boredom, wanting spiritual advancement (thinking drugs would give me that), being unhappy with my home situation etc.

I'm wondering if back then I was in the level of courage, like now and wanting to move up to the next level. Since I had confidence I used drugs without caution and thinking of the negative consequences. I think maybe I could make this mistake again if I am not careful, not with drugs but maybe with something else and like I'm missing the key that would take me to neutrality. I feel similar to then, as if I just want to do things for the thrills. I got my ears pierced just because I wanted to overcome my fear and now I feel like getting more piercings because the process of getting scared but overcoming it is quite exciting. And similarly I tried smoking because I thought I would get an high, it would be exciting.

How does the transition from courage to neutrality work and actually I just read that boredom is to do with neutrality so is it possible I'm sort of moving up and wanting to extreme things is a result of a lack of anticipating future fear?

Hmm, maybe the thing to do is not to use my courage to do things on a whim but to put that energy towards doing things that used to scare me but will pay off in the long term. For example I haven't yet had a job.

Sorry if this isn't very clear, my head is a bit muzzy (new medication )

Iolanthe, I can very much sympathize with your current situation as it was the general methodology behind my headspace at your age. I'm 22 years old now, and have experienced and am living in some of the higher stages of consciousness.

The element that I experienced and used to my advantage to get myself out of courage into neutrility was a pursual of explorative activities and hobbies. For me, heading to the next level requires a shift in mental perspective of the world around us. (world could be your education, job, place in society, place outside of society, place in the universe etc..)

I found that hobbies where you produce an end result (jewellery making, art, cooking, blacksmithing, sewing, carpentry are my specific references). this initiated my understanding of how and where materials come from, and how the world is being produced, and how we can develop it further.

As well, if it is more suiting to your mentality, a number of physical activities provide a meditive state for the mind to process pent up mentalities and negative perspectives. These are usually more repetitive physical activities that might as well focus on form. My personal examples are martial arts, parkour, skateboarding, tree climbing, swordfighting and hackeysack.

Aside from providing a vital mind/body link, these activities also improve eye/body coordination, balance and strength. Alone this improves your courage and ability to face fear and all of it's constituents.

As for the piercings, by the time I was 18 I had both eyebrows pierced and my labret. I now have 3 lip rings, and a plethora of tattoos.

I feel that a reminder of what true pain feels like, and knowing the limitations of what the mind and body can tolerate and process for pain is an important thing to have a comprehension of, because in life, we experience pain. Socially; piercings act as a flag, and may attract people of similar minds sets to yourself, also keep in mind that this may be a good thing, but can also be a bad thing.


Hope i've been help

[ethereal]

There's a couple points I want to make:

1) You are a composite of many different LOCs (levels of consciousness), and it isn't so clearcut where you can say "I'm moving from courage to neutrality." It's more like your predominant level moves bit by bit, but your experience can still include LOCs below you and above you. So you can't really know for sure where you really are, just that you can take a good guess at what your overall life is like and what needs to change. I think you are actually way beyond courage, perhaps already in neutrality, if you're even asking the question and caring about spiritual advancement. Courage to neutrality is more like the self-help phase.
2) Transcending lower levels of consciousness doesn't mean conquering them once and you're done. Actually, conquering the LOC (in this case, fear) doesn't actually mean all of it's gone, in fact very little may be cleared (what gets consciously experienced as you do it). What you need to conquer isn't the fear itself but your ego's addiction (grasping) to the energy of negative states. This comes by facing the emotion head on like you've been doing, but also to consciously experience it continuously and let it run itself out. If your mind doesn't stay focused and conscious of the experience, and you let the energies overpower you, the mind gets sucked into a trance and the clearing power that you have gets diminished greatly. You have to try not to avoid the negative state or try to change it, and instead use that energy that normally goes into trying to change things or get away to ask yourself, "is this true? will (whatever you're afraid of) actually happen? Will it actually cause me harm or suffering in any way? why do I have to resist it?" Try to introspect and see what you're really afraid of and surrender to it (be ok with it happening).
3) You don't even have to experience something in order to clear it. You can use your imagination...i.e. go to your deepest fear (probably the fear of death) and surrender that. Imagine what it's like to be dead, to have no awareness of existence, to not know anything. Or you can try walking around with your eyes closed, and surrender the fear of no control and the fear of getting hurt, those are big ones too Just don't hurt yourself while doing it Or if you get social anxiety, try talking to people of the opposite sex, even strangers. If you surrender your largest fears, all the little fears disappear, since they are all manifestations of the largest ones, just hidden from your awareness.
4) To jump from courage to neutrality takes mostly clearing out attachments and aversions to everything and letting those energies leave your system. So if that's your goal then it's basically becoming ok (neutral) with any outcome, with any problems in your life, with any desires and such. I highly suggest getting Dr. Hawkins' book, "Transcending the Levels of Consciousness", in there it talks about transcending each level as you come across them in a very detailed and useful way.
5) However, I would also suggest you set your sights higher, at either unconditional love (540) or enlightenment and higher (600+). What I mean is, do practices that are aimed at those two goals. If you make progress towards 540 or 600, then you've sure as heck made even more progress towards neutrality. And since you ultimately want to go beyond neutrality anyway, why not? It's faster that way.

I would suggest for you that you try some form of meditation, especially ones designed to transcend identification with the ego or "I-thought", like Self-enquiry or awareness practices. I've found that that is the fastest way to raise your LOC and make spiritual advancement. Other practices like emotional clearing will also do it, but it's a lot slower and it only works to purify the mind, not transcend it. It's like polishing a mirror to reflect sunlight better, only to realize that you are the sunlight and you didn't really need to polish the mirror in the first place. And it's at that time when your purification goes way up, because you've stopped identifying with it as real. The purification power that comes with seeing fear as totally unreal is so much higher than trying to "overcome" fear (try it out and see, use your imagination ). This is the pathway of mind.

If you're more aligned with the pathway of heart, I would suggest one practice: try to see love in everything around you. That it's very existence is a product of Divine Love, it was created with Love and it emanates Love to whoever is aware of it. Try to see that the underlying motive behind all human interaction is because of love, however twisted it may be. The desire to feel love and be loved, and to love others or oneself. See that the essence of all things is love and the essence of all action is for that love.

Other pathways that may be helpful are the 12 step groups, and ACIM (A Course in Miracles), both of which are highly recommended by Dr. Hawkins. Look them up on the internet if you're interested in trying out different practices