Ego: Stuck in the Mud

[zeitgeist]

Have you ever experienced lucid dreaming? I have as a teanager. I always had the same recurring dream, I needed to run away from something, but I couldn't move my legs fast enough; it seemed I was stuck in the mud. At one point when this pattern emerged something clicked in my head: I became aware of my dream and experienced my dream consciously.

You can recognize your ego in similar patterns. When you sit in a conference and you hear your colleagues are talking about your ideas, how do you feel? How does it feel to respond in a conversation deliberately a few seconds later to give others the opportunity to jump in? Is there something in your life, about your body or about others that get you worked up or passionate every time it happens? Very much as I realized that I was dreaming when I was stuck in the mud, you can take those triggers to observe how you react in those situation. The ego is you, so don't fight it and don't have conspiracy theories about it - just observe.

The stuck in the mud dream pattern has never come back, and I haven't experienced lucid dreaming since. Then I always wanted to consciously direct my dreams. I did what teenagers would do, I chased women in my dream only to find that when the hanky panky started, I would wake up. Today, I would just try to observe passively what I am dreaming. Dealing with the ego is exactly like that. Just observe what consequences your ego induced behaviour has, and what happens if you ignore your ego demands. Once you figure yourself out change might come.

Reflections