My First Spiritual Attack

[William Womack]

2 nights ago, I had my first spiritual attack. It was terrifying, and I definitely hope that it doesn't happen again. But I am almost sure that it will.

I wanted to make a post about it on this forum for a couple reasons. The two main reasons would be belief and acceptance.

You would all believe me. That's a biggie. But more importantly, I know that the type of people that are here are ones that are full of love and acceptance. That's just the kind of readers that Steve has.

This link is to my article Spiritual Warfare

This is a big step for me. I've written about things that I would hesitate to share with my good friends. But I am tired of living in that type of fear. As Steve says "Write what's true for you and learn to live with the consequences."

So if you take the time to read the article, please take the time to e-mail me or leave a comment. I would really love to meet some new people that are more accepting and conscious than some of my current friends.

Thanks everyone.

[joecooool]

the monotheistic religions are meme's
Meme - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Memetics - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
YouTube - Susan Blackmore: Memes and "temes"

the reason masturbation evolved in that meme to be a sin is because then you wont have kids and propagate the meme to them.

these meme's evolve over time to become stronger and better at protecting themselves and propagating themselves from brain to brain.

meme's that have no functional use are called: mental virus's
Viruses of the Mind - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

personally i say there's nothing wrong with masturbation. dump the religion.

[William Womack]

I see where you are coming from there. I still am following what my heart tells me is true, but I have definitely been open (and I still am) to other views on life. I just haven't been convinced yet.

Another point, would be that it was to the point of addiction. It was definitely bringing me down to a lower level. Days that I don't would be days that were wonderfully productive. Days I did would normally be dark and gloomy.

You could say that I have been conditioned to feel this way, but it still doesn't take away the fact of addiction.

It just made me feel terrible. Even if I did try to convince myself that it was okay.

Thanks for the links though, I have never heard of a meme.

Do you have anymore info?


Has anyone else had any similar experiences with the supernatural?

[spacedout]

Break out of the prison of thinking about yourself. You are not your mind and you are not your thoughts - you are much, much more than that. 95% of the time the mind is wrong, but the mind cannot see this. It is only through stillness and being the witness that you can become free from the prison of your mind.

[William Womack]

spacedout,

Explain a little more. What do you mean? What am I then?

[spacedout]

Originally Posted by William Womack

spacedout,

Explain a little more. What do you mean? What am I then?

Okay, I'll try to elucidate. For more than 5,000 years very wise people have attempted to anwer that very question - "What am I," or better yet, "Who am I." What they came up with has been, more or less, accepted by most of the deep thinkers of Eastern philosophy and even some Western philosophers and even psychologists. What they came up with is the 'self' (small 's') and the 'Self' (big 'S'). The 'self' is who you think you are. It is your name, your likes and dislikes, thoughts of the past and the future, your desires, problems, what you see in the mirror, etc. It is basically what we call the ego. The philosophy is more complicated than that but I'll leave it there for now. The Self (bit 'S') is actually what you are, not who you are. The big Self refers to that which is always present, formless, pure, and unchanging. It is also known as the Witness. The Father of yoga, Patanjali, probably said it best, some 3,000 years ago, or so. "Thoughts are always changing but may be witnessed by the True Self, which is never changing."

If you want me to, I can talk more about the Self and how to recognize it.

[bman]

I am experiencing similar things.

My anxiety over the purpose of life, existence, sickness, death is flashing right before me.


But.... I am also seeing the life of strangers I've never met before.

Kids, adults, people of other races, that i've never met/seen anywhere, the image of them flashed right before me in my dreams.

It's kinda stressful for me.

I am trying to get rid of such thoughts and go back to my previous ignorance self...

The amount of knowledge about your own mortality, is so... scary.

[tintin]

hey william.
your religious beliefs are responsible for your addiction.

ironic?

religion,as i understand it is all about black and white.
stark contrasts.the premise being- if youre white then you cannot be black
and if youre black you cannot be white.

if you indulge in porn and masturbation youre eeeevil
if you lead a pious life you are a good man

all that is natural has been condemned by religion.
for example your body.sexual desires.etc.
did you know that infants masturbate?


so there are all these doctrines which say-dont follow your naturalness,dont trust yourself,dont trust your body,your feelings. in short 'hate yourself'.so, you do.
we end up mistrusting whatever we feel.wait nervously for a feeling and stomp the shi* outta it.cos if we dont...well..we are evil.

your subconscious mind is rebelling against this doodle its been fed.so, true to itself.it regularly throws up desires.and since you dont accept them.but continue to desire,label yourself bad,indulge anyway,..leading to perversion.
twisting the beauty of your desires to a point where you cannot recognize them.

accept that you are more than just black or white.
you are both..and some.
its no evil entity.its you.for years youre fighting sexy thoughts.battle royale!
perversions occur when a natural feeling is twisted and made unnatural.condemned.damned.dammed.

undo this thinking.let yourself breathe.allow yourself to grow.accept your shadows so you can access your light.

[yossarian]

Thanks for sharing your experience, just sharing how you overcame and how you deal with your issues helps me with my own.

Unfortunately this forum has a lot of religion-haters. Sounds to me like your Christianity is very healthy and productive for you.

I've had some similar experiences recently as I've given up various addictions and habits. Experiences with evil things at night and in dreams screwing with me, lol. Anyway my strategy has pretty much amounted to "feel the fear and do it anyway!" a sort of "Where is courage?" type of thing.

One day I was sitting in my kitchen and the lights started to flash on and off - not the whole house, just the room I was in. On and off like someone was standing at the light switch flicking it back and forth.

Another time I was about to fall asleep and I heard someone whisper in my left ear something about "someone is coming" and then all of a sudden I felt a presence rush into my body through my left ear and I was frozen in this kind of paralysis that lasted for about 10 seconds. Before, during, and immediately after I was completely convinced it was a "demon" attack basically. In hindsight I'm not totally sure but at the time I was totally convinced.

One day as well my hand seemed to have a mind of it's own for a second while I was cutting vegetables - it flew across the room and cut a big gash in my finger. I almost never cut myself, and this was strange and it seemed like something took possession of my hand for a moment.

Anyway this crazy stuff all coincided with me changing certain habits and undergoing various personal transformations. I actually took on several new good habits while removing several bad ones in the month, it has been very productive for me.

I like to look at these things as the dragon thrashing its tail one last time, just before it turns up its belly and dies. The dragon thrashes the hardest at the moment before death.

I think you're doing the right thing and I hope you don't let these naysayers tempt you off the straight & narrow path.

[William Womack]

Originally Posted by yossarian

Thanks for sharing your experience, just sharing how you overcame and how you deal with your issues helps me with my own.

Unfortunately this forum has a lot of religion-haters. Sounds to me like your Christianity is very healthy and productive for you.

I've had some similar experiences recently as I've given up various addictions and habits. Experiences with evil things at night and in dreams screwing with me, lol. Anyway my strategy has pretty much amounted to "feel the fear and do it anyway!" a sort of "Where is courage?" type of thing.

One day I was sitting in my kitchen and the lights started to flash on and off - not the whole house, just the room I was in. On and off like someone was standing at the light switch flicking it back and forth.

Another time I was about to fall asleep and I heard someone whisper in my left ear something about "someone is coming" and then all of a sudden I felt a presence rush into my body through my left ear and I was frozen in this kind of paralysis that lasted for about 10 seconds. Before, during, and immediately after I was completely convinced it was a "demon" attack basically. In hindsight I'm not totally sure but at the time I was totally convinced.

One day as well my hand seemed to have a mind of it's own for a second while I was cutting vegetables - it flew across the room and cut a big gash in my finger. I almost never cut myself, and this was strange and it seemed like something took possession of my hand for a moment.

Anyway this crazy stuff all coincided with me changing certain habits and undergoing various personal transformations. I actually took on several new good habits while removing several bad ones in the month, it has been very productive for me.

I like to look at these things as the dragon thrashing its tail one last time, just before it turns up its belly and dies. The dragon thrashes the hardest at the moment before death.

I think you're doing the right thing and I hope you don't let these naysayers tempt you off the straight & narrow path.

Thanks for the encouragement. I agree with you about the dragon thrashing. Once he gets ahold of you... he's pretty stubborn about letting go.

Did you do anything specific to counteract these supernatural events?

[William Womack]

Originally Posted by tintin

hey william.
your religious beliefs are responsible for your addiction.

ironic?

religion,as i understand it is all about black and white.
stark contrasts.the premise being- if youre white then you cannot be black
and if youre black you cannot be white.

if you indulge in porn and masturbation youre eeeevil
if you lead a pious life you are a good man

all that is natural has been condemned by religion.
for example your body.sexual desires.etc.
did you know that infants masturbate?


so there are all these doctrines which say-dont follow your naturalness,dont trust yourself,dont trust your body,your feelings. in short 'hate yourself'.so, you do.
we end up mistrusting whatever we feel.wait nervously for a feeling and stomp the shi* outta it.cos if we dont...well..we are evil.

your subconscious mind is rebelling against this doodle its been fed.so, true to itself.it regularly throws up desires.and since you dont accept them.but continue to desire,label yourself bad,indulge anyway,..leading to perversion.
twisting the beauty of your desires to a point where you cannot recognize them.

accept that you are more than just black or white.
you are both..and some.
its no evil entity.its you.for years youre fighting sexy thoughts.battle royale!
perversions occur when a natural feeling is twisted and made unnatural.condemned.damned.dammed.

undo this thinking.let yourself breathe.allow yourself to grow.accept your shadows so you can access your light.

I would agree that part of religion is about black and white, but definitely not the greater part.

But if we are talking purely about sin, then yes.

I wouldn't agree that it is about hating myself. Not at all. There are things that I want to do, that I know that I shouldn't. Steal, Lie, etc. But doing them does not make me evil. It's just means I am going something that is. I'm pretty happy with myself.

I know that many religions speak about morality the way you have portrayed it here, but not mine.

As far has sexual drive and desires, I think they are beautiful things when expressed at appropriate times. (And you know that I am going to say marriage,

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing, but the distortion comes when it is done out of the right context and with the wrong motive.

God likes sex, He invented it! There are just guidelines that need to be followed.

Also, I recognize that I am part light and dark. There is a light in me that is not of me, and a darkness that is. That's where the battle comes.

I would love to hear more of your belief though.

(For the record, I am presbyterian. If that clears anything up.)

[William Womack]

Originally Posted by spacedout

Okay, I'll try to elucidate. For more than 5,000 years very wise people have attempted to anwer that very question - "What am I," or better yet, "Who am I." What they came up with has been, more or less, accepted by most of the deep thinkers of Eastern philosophy and even some Western philosophers and even psychologists. What they came up with is the 'self' (small 's') and the 'Self' (big 'S'). The 'self' is who you think you are. It is your name, your likes and dislikes, thoughts of the past and the future, your desires, problems, what you see in the mirror, etc. It is basically what we call the ego. The philosophy is more complicated than that but I'll leave it there for now. The Self (bit 'S') is actually what you are, not who you are. The big Self refers to that which is always present, formless, pure, and unchanging. It is also known as the Witness. The Father of yoga, Patanjali, probably said it best, some 3,000 years ago, or so. "Thoughts are always changing but may be witnessed by the True Self, which is never changing."

If you want me to, I can talk more about the Self and how to recognize it.

Yes, I would love to hear more.

I'm gathering that Self is equivalent to my soul, and self if my body. Is that right?

[William Womack]

For those of you who are interested, I have written an article about the lessons that I learned from my experience.

There is something here for everybody, and it sheds a little more light on the experience

Spiritual Warfare, Lessons Learned

Feedback is ALWAYS appreciated.
Comments as well.

Side note: I really appreciate the discussion that this thread has generated and I would really like to learn more from all of you.

[spacedout]

Just read your article and I feel it has come from your heart. It struck me to be very truthful and that you would like to share your feelings with others and visa versa. You are correct in saying that everyone needs to be more open and not afraid to share their feelings. It is the ego that keeps us from doing so. It sounds like you are ready to venture out beyond the thinking mind and into a more spiritual realm.

For many years, 32 in fact, I was addicted to alcohol. I couldn't go anywhere and socialize without being inebriated. It was because I had an inferiority complex and didn't think I could speak intelligently while sober. It took a crises for me to break away from that way of thinking and into a state of higher consciousness. All it took was a simple request to God. Once I broke away from my addiction I was guided by loving souls. I started reading books and literature written by very wise beings, doing yoga, practicing meditation - especially mindful meditation, and continually being thankful for my new life.
Some of the more helpful books for were: The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, Who Am I by Sri Ramana Maharshi, I Am That by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, The New Testament of the Bible, Advanced Course in Yogi Philosophy by Yogi Ramacharaka, Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, and The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. After some 20 years of practice I wrote my own book You Can Develop Pure Awareness. I wish you the best of luck in your search for the ultimate truth in your Self.

[Hyperchiller]

I wouldn't consider your case to be severe 'spiritual warfare'.

Check out these examples - Experiences with Magical Warfare

[Hyperchiller]

Come to think of it, I think you have a bad case of succubi/incubbi. In other words, an astral entity called a succubi/incubbi has milked you of all your energy. When you release those sexual urges, they sort of have a feast... And they see you like a meal.

[William Womack]

Originally Posted by Hyperchiller

Come to think of it, I think you have a bad case of succubi/incubbi. In other words, an astral entity called a succubi/incubbi has milked you of all your energy. When you release those sexual urges, they sort of have a feast... And they see you like a meal.

But I didn't release any sexual urge. I am abstaining from that. I was "feasted on" because I didn't?

This was my first spiritual "attack." I'm not sure what constitutes a bad one or not.

Have you had any attacks that were worse? What were they?

Can you tell me more about succubi/incubbi?

[Johnny5]

Hi William,

I had been addicted to porn for a very long time. A friend introduced me to Playboy Mag when I was 18, and I was hooked from there and lead to nude clubs, porns. I never thought that was a sin or evil... I see it as just an addiction.

Later, I learn meditation... I practice and analyze the problem... Addicting to porn has many layers in that one addiction:

There is a trigger to it. I found out that whenever I get frustrated with problems at work or with people, my mind would think about porn as an escape from the frustration.

The addition to porn:

The addicting to sensation from your genital.
The addicting to facial features of the female
The addicting to breast features (shape, size, color, and texture) of the female
The addicting to skin tone of the female
The addicting to hair color of the female
The addicting to the themes of sex's act.

so I went through one by one of the layer of addiction, and then find the replacement to deal with the trigger. That was my addiction to porn.

Now, I contented with my sex life. It is in a manageable situation.

Only you understand it very well, then you will overcome it.

If you try to simply suppress it without understanding, it will spring back, when there is a certain trigger situation occurs in your life.

Best Regards,

Johnny

[William Womack]

I totally agree that porn served as an outlet for me. I am beginning to see that more and more everyday. Just like you, whenever I was frustrated or felt like I just needed to get away for awhile I would turn to porn.

Thanks for pointing out specifically the different facets of the addiction. I never really thought about it like that.

It's shown me how I have replaced some of those triggers with creative outlets, and it has shown me what areas I still need an outlet in.

What were some of the ways that you replaced the triggers of your addiction with other outlets?

I could definitely use some help here. In some cases I just leave the house. Then I have nowhere to go, and it still lingers in the back of my head.

Any help here would be appreciated.

Also, any more information on the supernatural would be wonderful from anybody.

[Liveformx64]

William,

What exactly you are experiencing we can't be sure of.

But, you can be sure of one thing. There is nothing that can happen to you without you, on some level allowing it to happen.

As Steve said recently in one of his entries, it may help you to "level up" and take ownership of what has led you to this point.

Something to the effect of. " I am experiencing X. I have, whether consciously or not attracted myself to this point and current situation. I do not prefer to experience this any longer. I will from this point forward learn everything I can related to this darkness, and how it relates to me."

Understand that this experience has catapulted you into learning things about your dark-side that you would have otherwise maybe never uncovered. this somewhat scary event could catapult you into your greatest experiences you have yet to discover about yourself.

Accept it - Own it - Re-mold it

[Johnny5]

Here is the way....I've done.

#1 trigger is frustration.

To deal with it, I go the gym and do some work out...But right now, I got a set of dumbbells so I can just work out at home, then sit down meditate to deal with the problems.

#2 Trigger is boredom.

To deal with it, I bought a software called Ultimate Vocabulary...I spend a lot of time playing with it...It kept me busy.

The trigger of addiction to porn consisted of many layers. I called those layers as ideal images. Ideal images are the perceptive images that I formed and hold on/cling on as my favorite images that I have infatuated with them.

Those images kept me stuck in the addictions. The images of various porn stars, their facial features, their hair color and style, their complexion from various porn stars, their breast shape, size and features. Through out the years of my addiction, I had so many ideal images formed in my mind.

To change the images, I spent time visualize and replace all those porn star images with my wife image one by one, until I stop having infatuation with those porn stars. Then when there is a trigger occurs, my mind would think about my spouse instead of porn.



Let me share the stories about the ideal image trigger works.

I had an acquaintance. He had married for 15 years and had two kids with his first wife. One day, he went to a New Year's Party and met his High School's sweet heart. What's happen next was, he decided to divorce his wife and get married with his High School's sweet heart. His High School sweetheart was already married with five kids.

To me, I see his wife as a fit and a very beautiful woman; however, his High School's sweetheart is fat and ugly to me. To my acquaintance, he sees his High School's sweetheart as a perfect and beautiful woman. This was his ideal woman, because he had formed an ideal image within his mind when he was young.

Another story. My co-worker was 50 years old, divorced twice. His High School's sweetheart, on her vacation come to visit his mother. Coincidentally, he was there, when his High School's sweetheart arrived. He spent time with her and reconnected with the past. After they were together about six months, they got married last year. He told me that, she was a beautiful and perfect lady for him. I saw her picture and I would say, “she is fat and ugly”. He saw her the way it is, because he had her ideal image when he was young.



From the time I realized that I had addicted to porn and worked my way out of it, until the time I have overcome this addiction is approximately 10 years.

So you need to work hard to replace those ideal images until you stop having infatuation. Fill up any void in your life with activities. Some kinds of activities that you will enjoy and you can look forward to it, so that your mind won't stuck with frustration.

If you need help in doing visualization, you should read a book by Anthony Robbins called “ Awaken the Giant Within”


Best Regards,

Johnny

[William Womack]

Thanks everyone for the continual posts. You all have given me so much more perspective on the addiction itself.

Recently, I have had a lot of people tell me to accept it as part of me. Don't fight it, because that empowers the addiction. Instead, merely pick it up and look at it. Decide that it isn't what I want in my life, and discard it.

I'm having a hard time figuring out how to give up the addiction without having to fight it.

Any advice?

[Liveformx64]

The simplest way is to focus on the positive outcomes of this ordeal.

No doubt it has caused you to reach out for help, and get on these message boards with all of these wonderful people.

You have probably picked up all sorts of valuable information that you can carry without throughout the rest of your life.

After you overcome this addiction, you are probably much less likely to ever delve this deeply into a harmful situation such as this every again.

One day you may be able to coach a loved one out of a damaging situation with your insight.

Once you have gone through this growth process, you will carry with you a wealth of knowledge, and techniques that you can share with others on how to overcome their problems.

What a tough test you have been through, and you are now all the stronger for it. As the old analogy goes the toughest steel is forged in the hottest fire.

[tintin]

i can only talk from my own experiences of having dealt with fixations.

i have tried to accept which lead to bingeing.which made me feel worse.

i have tried to fight it which made it irresistable.

so none of the approaches worked for me.

the only thing that helped me is asking myself why? which took a lot of work.stopping myself from obsessing is temporary. only served as a catalyst.you have this dreadful feeling ...im gonna go ..im gonna go ...and if i do..catastrophe!!

like the dieters.you fast and eat a severly regimented diet.and the day the diet is over..well..you know what happens.

if you tell yourself
that youre in the process of knowing yourself if you make this a gradual process versus a drastic event.

be patient with yourself.
allow yourself to examine it and yourself.without judgement.without the name calling.


acceptance out here means.do not judge yourself.(only because judging yourself robs you of positive power to make transformations)it is there.this desire is coming from you.but it is twisted (in your thinking) unnatural.why?how did it get so?
at what point did this natural desire become unnatural.
is suppression the cause?
is parental conditioning the cause?
is religious conditioning the cause?

look for that point where it started to get repressed and therefore twisted.


but merely saying and forcing it to stop is not going to give you any results.
the only way would be to go into a full blown examination. an all out investigation of your core beliefs and values.being OPEN to challenging them.opening your belief system to questions.allowing confusion and giving in to it.

for habits to change an internal shift is required.and thats painful.

[Hyperchiller]

Originally Posted by William Womack

But I didn't release any sexual urge. I am abstaining from that. I was "feasted on" because I didn't?

This was my first spiritual "attack." I'm not sure what constitutes a bad one or not.

Have you had any attacks that were worse? What were they?

Can you tell me more about succubi/incubbi?

Succubi and incubbi are astral entities that suck your energy. Things like porn release from your body sexual energies which they feast on.

It's as simple as that. If you stop, they don't like that because they get hungry. Think of them as a parasite. They'll try and get you to keep that addiction.

If you go cold turkey - good luck. You're gonna need a substitute for porn or something and you're gonna need will power to overcome the parasites.

[roxyruby]

How long each day did you spend masturbating and looking at porn? If its anything longer than an hour or so it might become a problem, but many people probably spend an hour a day on sexual activities which can be healthy and normal, well having sex every night etc. But when you don't have someone with you or it doesn't turn you on enough, I don't see anything wrong with using porn and masturbation to get that release.

I understand how pornography and possibly masturbation is seen as wrong or evil in conservative or religious views, and thats ok if you believe that and choose that for yourself.

My view is that we are sexual creatures, we do have a sex drive, sex is natural, and masturbation is natural, porn, well, i cant say it is natural because computers and images arent natural hahaha, but is it really evil? Only because some women feel insecure or jealous if their boyfriend is looking at porn or thinks he is disgusting? I don't know