Ego problems.

[eruso]

I don't know what to do about my ego. Most spiritual teachings tell me that the ego is bad and to try to eliminate it. I have a lot of self-confidence when I'm not trying to eliminate my ego. When I'm trying to be more humble it's like my self-worth goes down and I feel less powerful

What's the best way to go about this? Is ego really that bad if you're making a positive difference in the world?

[magi13]

Originally Posted by eruso

I don't know what to do about my ego. Most spiritual teachings tell me that the ego is bad and to try to eliminate it. I have a lot of self-confidence when I'm not trying to eliminate my ego. When I'm trying to be more humble it's like my self-worth goes down and I feel less powerful

What's the best way to go about this? Is ego really that bad if you're making a positive difference in the world?

you have to define ego first. before you can decide if it's not good for you, in order for us the readers to have a common ground.

[eruso]

Ego as in being self-aware, having self-confidence, knowing who you are etc... I find many spiritual teachings emphasizing qualities such as humbleness and humility.

[magi13]

Originally Posted by eruso

Ego as in being self-aware, having self-confidence, knowing who you are etc... I find many spiritual teachings emphasizing qualities such as humbleness and humility.

Did you compare those teachings with your own understanding and tried to apply it with the present situation you're in? What do you think?

[eruso]

Originally Posted by magi13

Did you compare those teachings with your own understanding and tried to apply it with the present situation you're in? What do you think?

I think so.

[drama07]

Ego is neither bad or good. It is what it is. Accept it. We're lost in ego and that's ...well wont say its a problem... but it causes suffering.

Use ego as a tool and dont define it as who you are. There is nothing wrong with being confident, but there is also nothing good about being confident. It is what it is.

Dis-identify from ego is all that is required.

HTH

[eruso]

Originally Posted by drama07

Ego is neither bad or good. It is what it is. Accept it. We're lost in ego and that's ...well wont say its a problem... but it causes suffering.

Use ego as a tool and dont define it as who you are. There is nothing wrong with being confident, but there is also nothing good about being confident. It is what it is.

Dis-identify from ego is all that is required.

HTH

Hmm. Interesting.

[torilink]

Originally Posted by eruso

Ego as in being self-aware, having self-confidence, knowing who you are etc... I find many spiritual teachings emphasizing qualities such as humbleness and humility.

ok, if for this thread we are using this definition of "ego", I must first say this is not exactly what those teachings are talking about.

what they are talking about is that the entire identity you are aware of, that feels either self confident or not, the one in which you identify and believe you are, is a facade. This is the false self, all that you hold true about yourself.

as drama stated, it isn't good or bad it just is - but by stepping back from that illusion of self and observing it we can break it down and see what we are not.

am I truly this way or that way? why do I think that I am, what are the reasons i believe this is true about myself. Is this what I am or just an experience I'm having.... see?

[eruso]

I think I understand more now... So is it wrong to identify myself with my ego? And what do I identify with if not my ego? This is really crazy for me.... perspective changes so much.

[drama07]

Originally Posted by eruso

I think I understand more now... So is it wrong to identify myself with my ego?

When you come to understand the ego, the ego cannot keep you happy. You'll always suffer one way or another. There will be happiness, but rest assure it wont last unless you stop identifying through ego.

It's a matter of choice really, although it's clear when you become more aware or concious, that you aren't defined as ego at all. If you can be aware of the feelings of desire or fear within your inner body & mind, how is it possible that you're in fact ego.

So to simply answer your question: No it ain't wrong... it's just insane

[eruso]

Haha. Thanks for that

[drama07]

And what do I identify with if not my ego?

You're the conciousness that is aware of it all.

Aware of what ,you may ask? - aware of that voice inside your head, the thoughts, the emotion, the feelings inside the body, everything! When you're aware, it's true freedom.

HTH , although im no expert

[magi13]

you have to make clear the difference between the negative ego and the self in reality.

i think it's better if you understand those two concepts first in order to further your wisdom with respect to your inquiry.

the teachings the previous posters have mentioned is not the conventional definition of ego, but the one they are meaning to describe.

i guess it's a humbling experience.

[torilink]

Originally Posted by eruso

I think I understand more now... So is it wrong to identify myself with my ego? And what do I identify with if not my ego? This is really crazy for me.... perspective changes so much.

as you begin to dispel your beliefs about what's true about your SELF one by one... eventually you are left with what you are. I cannot tell you what you are, it isn't something you can learn from anyone - you must experience and know that.

I can say... I'm a female (my body is female, is what i truly am female?) hmm maybe what i truly am isn't male or female, but the manifest body I reside in is. So am I a female or merely experiencing the state of being female?

I can say.... I am a mother. Certainly my body gave birth to children.. and i function as a mother - that is my life experience, but is it what I truly am??

I can say.... I am poor. I see no outer evidence of wealth or riches, but does that mean that's what I AM?? or what I am experiencing.

you can go on and on... slowly letting go of all you are not... until you are left with what you are.

[drama07]

Originally Posted by magi13

you have to make clear the difference between the negative ego and the self in reality.
.

There is no "negative" ego, nor is there a "positive" one. It is what it is. And what I find is the ego is lost, confused or something. And conciousness is being dragged with it. The ego thinks it can be happy forever, but all it does is look to a future for happiness and once that future is NOW, it again looks to the future.

For instance, you want to be successful. Do you ever think you're more successful now than in some near future? You cant be more successful in the future... it doesnt even exist.

[magi13]

^^, but it does in this reality. you cannot disprove what is because you can see and touch it. it can be acknowledged by others who can also see and touch it.

but you're at liberty to believe what you wish to believe, and we who are successful and find peace in our realist ways can believe what we believe. if my material stuff does not exists then it does not, but my five senses disprove your claim.

I'll leave it to that.

p.s. you better define ego again so we can have common ground. I'm basing my definition according to the thread starter.

[drama07]

Originally Posted by magi13

^^, but it does in this reality. you cannot disprove what is because you can see and touch it. it can be acknowledged by others who can also see and touch it.

but you're at liberty to believe what you wish to believe, and we who are successful and find peace in our realist ways can believe what we believe. if my material stuff does not exists then it does not, but my five senses disprove your claim.

I'll leave it to that.

p.s. you better define ego again so we can have common ground. I'm basing my definition according to the thread starter.

How can you prove there is a future? All we have is the NOW or in logical sense the present moment. The future is a thought and the thought is in the present moment.

Definition of ego: A false sense of self.

[magi13]

I do believe in the now, but that's not the thing we're talking about.

The word you use as ego is a false sense of self. Then with respect to that you may be right.

What I am referring to is the things we already have, like this laptop in front of me that i'm using to reply to you. That i can prove.

Logic or science cannot accurately predict the future, all i can do is provide models of possible outcomes.

But I'm happy, being a realist. If you call my false sense of self bad for me, but why am I fulfilled?

If that's what you consider to be false then I wouldn't have it any other way.

I just follow the rules of our society and play the system according to it's rules.

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by drama07

You're the conciousness that is aware of it all.

I thought the ideas were to let go of having to have a self to identify with. If one goes about saying, "I'm not the ego and I'm really this consciousness thing" - that's just another version of an identity to carry on about "having". Almost another ego. perhaps.

[drama07]

Originally Posted by magi13

I do believe in the now, but that's not the thing we're talking about.

The word you use as ego is a false sense of self. Then with respect to that you may be right.

What I am referring to is the things we already have, like this laptop in front of me that i'm using to reply to you. That i can prove.

Logic or science cannot accurately predict the future, all i can do is provide models of possible outcomes.

But I'm happy, being a realist. If you call my false sense of self bad for me, but why am I fulfilled?

If that's what you consider to be false then I wouldn't have it any other way.

I just follow the rules of our society and play the system according to it's rules.

I don't consider our ego (a false sense of self) as bad, nor do i consider it as good. It is what it is, so I accept it. However, I find that by identifying myself to it, I suffer. I desire, I fear... it's all suffering.

You work so hard (suffer) to be successful and once that goal is achieved... then what?

You say you're fulfilled. Are you really?

[magi13]

Originally Posted by wolfgang

I thought the ideas were to let go of having to have a self to identify with. If one goes about saying, "I'm not the ego and I'm really this consciousness thing" - that's just another version of an identity to carry on about "having". Almost another ego. perhaps.

the true definition of ego is the conscious self. according to drama07 ego is the false self. so we'll have to go along with drama's definition or we'll confuse each other. ^^

[Ariel Bravy]

Originally Posted by eruso

I don't know what to do about my ego. Most spiritual teachings tell me that the ego is bad and to try to eliminate it. I have a lot of self-confidence when I'm not trying to eliminate my ego. When I'm trying to be more humble it's like my self-worth goes down and I feel less powerful

What's the best way to go about this?

The ego is an aspect of the totality, a part of God in a sense. How can any part of God be bad?

The ego is the part of you that creates the mental perception of separation. There's nothing wrong with perceiving separation. It can be very helpful.

It's what allows "you" to recognize that there's a "bus" over "there" coming towards "me" and so I better get "my body" over to the "sidewalk" so it's out of the way.

Nothing evil or harmful with that.

The "problem," if you want to think of it like that, is that the mind literally buys into that as if it's the truth. So people forget who they are and thus suffering begins.

Yet even Jesus was able to heal the leg of another person. He was able to perceive separation, despite the fact that it's all one. Gandhi was able to liberate a country separate from himself.

Is it literally separate? No. How can it be when it is all one? But it can be a convenient way of talking about things.

Regarding the idea of trying to get rid of your ego, read this:

Do You Want To Kill Your Ego? | You Are Truly Loved

Originally Posted by eruso

Is ego really that bad if you're making a positive difference in the world?

There's nothing wrong with egos trying to do good in the world. This is just one stage though.

Here's an abbreviated and way oversimplified list of states:

1) Totally ego-centric and doing whatever you want without regard for others. Think criminals and whatnot.

2) Ego-centric, yet in service to others. Why? Because it feels good to me. I feel great when helping others, so in a sense, I'm really doing it for me. It's an individual helping other individuals. Think teachers and firemen.

3) Spirit itself expressing itself through the body, without a false sense of self to claim credit for what Spirit itself is doing.

For examples of people talking about this third state, read this:

There Is No Doer | You Are Truly Loved

"Why are you unhappy? Because 99.9 per cent of everything you think, and of everything you do, is for yourself. And there isn't one." -Wei Wu Wei

There's nothing wrong with a positive and self-improved ego. It's certainly a healthier state of existence than a negative ego. As long as you're going to be playing the ego game though, you might as well play the positive ego game or else you may wind up downright suicidal, y'know?

[Ariel Bravy]

Originally Posted by eruso

Ego as in being self-aware, having self-confidence, knowing who you are etc...

The ego is not aware of itself. Only awareness can be aware of thoughts. Only consciousness can be conscious of anything.

The thought "I am" has no capacity to be aware of itself. Without awareness, it is just a thought floating in a void. Thought can't be aware of thought. Only awareness can be aware of anything.

Originally Posted by drama07

Ego is neither bad or good. It is what it is. Accept it. We're lost in ego and that's ...well wont say its a problem... but it causes suffering.

Use ego as a tool and dont define it as who you are. There is nothing wrong with being confident, but there is also nothing good about being confident. It is what it is.

Dis-identify from ego is all that is required.

HTH