How do you stop negative thoughts?

[Destine4destiny]

Lately I have been thinking negative thoughts about getting back at a couple of people for wishing me bad and saying negative things to me; these thoughts pop up in my head but they don't control me as bad as they did before because I am aware of my mind trying to take me down a negative memory lane. I want to stop these thoughts from entering my mind because that is not what I want to project to the universe- it has been said that your reality is what you think ,what you believe, and what you say. In all honesty I do not want any confrontation with anyone of them but I do want a chance to express myself the way I should of when those things were being said to me but I want the chance to be able to be positive about it without the discussion being nasty and confrontational.

[Judge]

Thought is generally neutral. When you add emotion it becomes negative or positive. At the core of your problem is not the negative thoughts, but you wanting to express an opinion that you didn't get a chance to express.

Take away the desire to express your opinion and the desire to use a negative state to sense yourself and you'll see you need neither the negative thoughts or the desire to express negativity to truly sense yourself.

Remember there is a self and a false self, which one are you?

Judge

[fellowtraveler]

Originally Posted by Destine4destiny

...trying to take me down a negative memory lane.

Memory Lane is a dead end street. On the level of "reality" we generally deal with, there is only now - the past and future don't exist.

I helped myself heal from past trauma by realizing that fact. Every day, every hour, every minute and second is new and you can choose any point at which change things and to start over fresh.

[torilink]

Originally Posted by Destine4destiny

Lately I have been thinking negative thoughts about getting back at a couple of people for wishing me bad and saying negative things to me; these thoughts pop up in my head but they don't control me as bad as they did before because I am aware of my mind trying to take me down a negative memory lane. I want to stop these thoughts from entering my mind because that is not what I want to project to the universe- it has been said that your reality is what you think ,what you believe, and what you say. In all honesty I do not want any confrontation with anyone of them but I do want a chance to express myself the way I should of when those things were being said to me but I want the chance to be able to be positive about it without the discussion being nasty and confrontational.

thoughts arise, do not resist them... allow them without judgment or reaction. You have a negative thought arise, you notice it and acknowledge it and let it go.... it is only a thought, it isn't you.

[Destine4destiny]

I at times need words of encouragement to keep me strong and that is exactly what your words are , they are words that are food for the soul-Thank you because I really needed that.

[enyi]

Originally Posted by torilink

thoughts arise, do not resist them... allow them without judgment or reaction. You have a negative thought arise, you notice it and acknowledge it and let it go.... it is only a thought, it isn't you.

I agree with torilink here. Some practical advise that's worked for me in the past is to be aware of your thoughts, don't fight them, don't try to change them for positive thoughts, just be aware.

After a while, you'll start to differentiate between your thoughts and yourself, like torilink says, and then it'll be easier to transmute those thoughts into more "positive" ones.

- Ivan

[SimonaRich]

You still get negative thoughts because your ego feels hurt by some people that did something to you in the past. Once you realise that this is not you, but your ego, you will start disregarding those thougths.

By no means fight them, because by resisting negative thoughts you will give them more energy and so they will appear even more often in your mind.

Just think of them as to what they are - just thoughts. By distancing yourself from your thoughts whilst being conscious about their presence you will be able to eliminate all of them from your mind.

Once you stop feeling emotional after some thought, you will no longer be affected by its negativity.

You can also read my article about this subject:

Negative Attitude: Causes, Consequences And Cures

[smith1012]

Always be aware of any thought. Thats one aspect of living life conciously. Know that thoughts are not YOU. Listen to thoughts and let go off ones that aren't effective. Picture the thought in a bubble, floating away. It'll take some courage to acknowledge your negatives thoughts (believe me I'm struggling myself), but eventually youll understand that thoughts have an effect on you because you give it its needed energy. When you resist, you give it energy. When you dwell upon it, you give it energy. When you accept it, you take its energy away. Again, remember thoughts never defines who you are, EVER. If, by any chance, you think you're a revengeful person, you are not.

I guess i'm just rephrasing whats already posted by our helpful members, but hearing the same advice from various people can help convince you.

[WordKeeper]

You still get negative thoughts because your ego feels hurt by some people that did something to you in the past.

I believe this. It is part of the basis of Alice Miller's philosophy. It refers to what I often term "triggers."

When I read this today I was struck by this. I have come to learn how to shift out of what has been an automatic negative reaction to something hurtful done by somebody. It has begun a significant shift in my life. BUT, I have been left to deal with the significant effect of a long term brain pattern of reaction based on old, pre-lingual emotional wounds.

But as I read what you wrote I suddenly saw that I can change those old patterns in the same way I have changed my contemporaneous reaction.

Part of the pattern that build up over the years is the fear of the automatic reaction - definitely a complicating factor. Yet, something in your post will actually serve to severe the power of that particular fear, freeing me to use the great techniques to face the original wounds that have continued to pollute my brain patterns.

Part of the key here is identifying and bringing into the consciousness the negative energy blocks.

[wolfgang]

you would never choose a negative thought by itself.
there is conditioning that makes these thoughts show up.
when they show up it's your brain's patterns doing it.
You can't suppress them or that will make them worse.

one way is to actively focus on something else and not let the automatic thoughts be something to dwell on. Sometimes one must realize that these thoughts are automatic and that just choosing to do something that occupies your awareness will retrain your brain to not keep these automatic thoughts running all the time.

any other way is to not judge the thoughts as negative. see if there is a way to view them as OK - not neutral but part of your make up right now and as such something to accept. telling yourself they are negative may actually perpetuate them.

[WordKeeper]

Wolfgang - thanks for your thoughts. I have found in recent years that refocusing my attention has been very helpful and made a significant change in my life. But I have not considered your second point, "any other way is to not judge the thoughts as negative."

In fact, I don't think I was in a place to consider it until now. I absolutely understand your point. Thank you for sharing it with me.

Since I started this thread, I have had very significant insights and shifts that are moving me forward. It is quite a remarkable thing to experience. I am looking forward to see how it unfolds.

[Destine4destiny]

You have giving me and others great advice on the brain and how to deal with not so pleasant memories, but the most important lesson learned from these comments is it is part of our make up as human beings and to be present and aware of the thoughts is a beginning to an end of the brain trying to control me but me controlling my brain. Nonetheless, this is a very improtant topic that pleagues our society as a whole; it is not only you, me , but the rest of the world that suffers from these moments of thoughts that pop up- the only difference is that some succumb to the emotions by reliving the scene all over again in their head while others choose to accept it and let it go.