Suicide On My Mind

[David21]

I wouldn't usually write about my deepest problems in such a way but today I'm feeling really down. I also don't like to because things are really complicated and writing them down in something less than a book is hard.

For a while now I have been depressed. Most recently I have been feeling it for a number of reasons. For one, I don't like living in a world where nothing can be known for sure, where reality is always up for debate. I dream of a world where things are known for sure. Two, I don't know where my life is going. I've spent the last four years working towards a degree in psychology and now I'm doing it, I'm no more happy than I've ever been. Every morning I wake up and I don't know why I'm here. I have no motivation to do work because it seems so senseless if nothing can really be known. For the first time in my life I have people around me I can call 'friends' but yet I'm still unhappy - everything in my life is still a task, still a chore. I just don't like life and it's getting me down. I don't enjoy the days, I don't find contentment/satisfaction in anything and I know therapy wont help as I've done that. I've had depression for years. It started for something entirely different and now it lives for reasons I'm too sure of.

I try and ask for help from the other side but I never seem to get it no matter how much I ask. Heck, I don't even know if there is such thing as 'help on the other side'! For quite a few months now I have wondered whether the silence is deliberate as a way of helping me to 'wake up', if that makes sense?

Things are more complicated and probably more painful than I am able to convey on here but suicide has really come into my mind. I was thinking of buying a pub-sized bottle of alcohol and drinking it all to see if I actually wake up. I've done it before and unfortunately I did wake up (covered in my own vomit, mind you) but I woke up. I keep on thinking maybe this time I'll not wake up. Even when my course first started and I was relatively optimistic about things I remember a time when I was sitting at a station when, as a train approached, I thought: 'why don't you try jumping out in front of that train'!

Do you know what the real ba**ard of this situation is? I know that if I died I'd see the whole situation from an enlightened perspective and things wont seem so bad and thus I may regret killing myself by which time it would be too late. I just feel so bad. I just wish things were easier.

[lisamelinda]

hmm this is a tough one to address, but i really don't think suicide is the answer. i'm glad you have focused on your degree and are nearly there. perhaps when you finally qualify you will find joy through helping others? if everything was certain, nothing would be interesting as well (surely). i also crave certainty and control a lot of the time, but perhaps you can focus on controlling how you think about things instead, and try marginally shift your approach? I don't mean to make out like you aren't in real pain. I unfortunately only have my own experiences to go on. I was busy reading something i wrote a while ago when i was going through something terrible to me, and now i feel nothing. and again, i am not going through a good patch now and i am writing down how i feel and am lost in a haze of tears, but i know in a few years time it will mean nothing again. okay i feel like i am barely making sense here.. you should maybe concentrate on what you are sure of and know there is at least that. i don't know you, but would hate it if anything happened to you!

[ggwbach]

depression is a common disease in the modern world.

I. personally, believe it to be a spiritual affliction.

(private message sent)

[Wombels]

'May your mind be illumined'.

[Pequod]

Hi David

You're not telling what approaches you have tried to get rid of your problems. Have you tried anything beyond regular conversational therapy?

There are several ways of dealing with these problems:

One way is to see that all thoughts and emotions are just projections and not who you really are. You can start to see through them, stop believing them. This is very difficult, but I believe it's the only ultimate solution. Bellemeadows has written more extensively about it in these posts:
I've been dead inside for over a decade. help?
and
I've been dead inside for over a decade. help?

Another way is to deal with your emotions and release them. Depression is usually caused by too much emotions that are 'stored' in your body/mind system and that keep popping up. There are several great techniques that can help with this. I've been in regular conversational therapy and it helped me a little to get clear in my head, but other forms of therapy and PD prooved much more powerful.

It's very hard when life feels like an endless tunnel without light. I wish you all the best!

[David21]

Originally Posted by Pequod

Hi David

You're not telling what approaches you have tried to get rid of your problems. Have you tried anything beyond regular conversational therapy?

I haven't tried much else. What can make 'I don't like life' any easier? I have a good friend that I speak to about these things but it never helps. There is just nothing I feel can be done. I don't like life and nothing makes this any easier. I just don't know how else I'm supposed to find the motivation to live. Why would meditation or reading inspiring books help? I want to know things that can't easily be known, if indeed they can be known at all. I've tried leading a normal life but that never works - I'm always unhappy. I'm not bipolar either. I'm always this sad but I do very much want this to end. But then I think, 'what's the point in being happy as everyone else appears to be if it is a life led in ignorance'?

[David365]

You briefly say you have "done" therapy but don't expand on what professional help you have sought and received. People can develop varying degrees of depression without there being an identifiable reason. It can also be hereditary (you mention elsewhere your mother suffers depression).

If your depression is leading you to suicidal thought you should see your GP as a matter of urgency. They will probably suggest medication and want to refer you to the local mental health services. Please don't dismiss these without serious consideration.

Suggestions of medication tend to go against the grain on forums like this, but in my experience are essential in the treatment of serious mental illness. I have worked in mental health services for about twenty two years now and as well as medication there are other forms of therapy and support available. Don't try to do everything yourself.

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by David21

I want to know things that can't easily be known, if indeed they can be known at all.

what are these things you are referring to ?

[yoopersmith]

David,

I agree with the other David here. You should seek professional help...even a suicide hot line

SuicideHotlines.com - When You Feel You Can't Go On -- Let Someone Know Your Pain.

1-800-784-2433

I was depressed when I was in my 20's and even did a couple of attempts...depression is like that...you can't see a way to happiness and you are hopeless.

You need professional help now.

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by yoopersmith

David,

I agree with the other David here. You should seek professional help...even a suicide hot line

SuicideHotlines.com - When You Feel You Can't Go On -- Let Someone Know Your Pain.

1-800-784-2433

I was depressed when I was in my 20's and even did a couple of attempts...depression is like that...you can't see a way to happiness and you are hopeless.

You need professional help now.

I agree

[David365]

Originally Posted by yoopersmith

David,

I agree with the other David here. You should seek professional help...even a suicide hot line

SuicideHotlines.com - When You Feel You Can't Go On -- Let Someone Know Your Pain.

1-800-784-2433

I was depressed when I was in my 20's and even did a couple of attempts...depression is like that...you can't see a way to happiness and you are hopeless.

You need professional help now.

On another thread David21 says he is from England. If you don't want to see your GP (doctor) the equivalent to this service in England is the Samaritans. They run a 24 hours a day confidential support helpline for anyone in a crisis.

Tel 08457 90 90 90

[The Cloud]

I'm going to propose something that you'll probably find hard to swallow. You don't really want the answers to everything. You're right, there is no "why," not really. Life isn't about answers, or questions, or anything at all really. It just is. If there is no reason to live, how can you find a reason to die?

What you want is not a reason to live, but to not be a slave to reasons. Freedom from the ultimately answerless question of "why." You don't really hate your life, you just think you're supposed to. You're just so convincing that you've deceived yourself. But you know in your heart that suicide is not what you want. You don't want death or answers or questions, you just want to live. There is no how, or why, to live. There is just life and living.

[therisingsun09]

Originally Posted by David21

For a while now I have been depressed. Most recently I have been feeling it for a number of reasons. For one, I don't like living in a world where nothing can be known for sure, where reality is always up for debate. I dream of a world where things are known for sure. Two, I don't know where my life is going. I've spent the last four years working towards a degree in psychology and now I'm doing it, I'm no more happy than I've ever been. Every morning I wake up and I don't know why I'm here. I have no motivation to do work because it seems so senseless if nothing can really be known.

First off - please hold out until you've tried everything. I was very much like you up until a year or two ago, and now I'm immensely happy - despite external conditions changing very little. I wish I could put it into words, but it just clicked for me.

I used to spend most of my time trying to figure out reality and my place on this earth. I needed to know "The Truth", whatever that meant. I didn't believe in a higher power so I tried science. And I found no answers. I still don't have that answer, but I was asking the wrong question. I was asking "How does the Universe operate?" when really I should have been asking "How do I operate the the Universe?". The first question is an unanswerable riddle (the question and answer come from the same source, are therefore interdependent and cancel out the absolutism of either, or so I'm told ). In the end I just had to give up, and the giving up turned out to be a letting go. Once I let go it all started to fall into place.

When I changed from asking the first question to the second, I was really saying Yes to life. If I were to keep talking I would only be imitating the greats, so I'm going to recommend some things that changed my life:

1. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (a short fiction book written from the perspective of one who says "Yes" to life).
2. Book Four by Aleister Crowley (try the meditations in part 1)
3. Sukhavati by Joseph Campbell (watch a low quality version for free on Google Video) and anything else you can find by him.
4. Meditations for Asiah from An approach to learning the Tree of Life through Meditation about 3/4 of the way down the page. The page is a hermetic qabalah thing based on a spiritual system called the Tree of Life, but for those particular meditations on the page you don't need to know anything about that.

I hope this helps, it may not be your situation but I can only speak from my own experience, so it's the best I've got

[WilkesG]

David,

I feel for you and understand where you are at. I have dealt with severe depression for much of my life as well, and I can say that there is nothing worse than feeling like you do.

Actually, I originally signed up for these forums a week or two ago because I wanted to make a post similar to yours.

The worst part about severe clinical depression is that many of the things you can do to help are impossible to do because being depressed leaves you with no energy to do anything and leaves you feeling paralyzed.

I also know it is tough because 99% of the people out there just don't understand how crippling depression can be, and they just CAN'T understand how you feel through no fault of their own.

You likely have low serotonin levels, and many of the natural things you can do to increase serotonin levels (things like diet and especially exercise) are extremely difficult to undertake when depression has taken charge of your brain and thoughts.

As hard as it is to get motivation to do it, the best solution to start with is to go to the doctor and try to get on some meds that can help stimulate your serotonin levels to make you feel normal again.

Most of my depressions have been initiated by me feeling like I had no direction in life and that it was pointless, or that I have taken the wrong path with my major or profession and that I wasn't doing what I was supposed to do. I have felt this way often and at times feel like I would rather just end the pain and that it would stop me from being a nuisance to those around me.

I just want you to know that there are others out there who feel like you do, and I want you to know that because when I have been able to relate to others and share experiences with others who can understand because they have also been there, it definitely helps.

Deep down I feel like we are all here for a reason and I hope some day to use my experiences to help others with depression and have often actually thought about going back to school and working in the counseling or therapy field, because I think I can relate to those going through it, since I go through it myself.

Perhaps psychology is the perfect profession and career choice for you, given your unique circumstances...you can study depression and learn how and why it takes control of people like it does.

The more I have read about it, the more interesting this phenomenon becomes to me, especially since it has had such a deep grip on me for much of my life.

I think it is good that you opened up, and hopefully talking about it helps...what is tough that many people here may think it is a personal development thing that can fix this, when it is a bit more complicated than that (I have learned that through experience, as I thought after a couple of depressions that I had been "weak" and that I knew how to avoid them and control my thinking) because I know when it hits you, it can hit you like a ton of bricks and nothing could have stopped it.

Just know you are not weak, and that there are others out there that know how you feel, and know that you can and will crawl out of this...

[Lauxa]

Originally Posted by David21

What can make 'I don't like life' any easier? I have a good friend that I speak to about these things but it never helps. There is just nothing I feel can be done. I don't like life and nothing makes this any easier. I just don't know how else I'm supposed to find the motivation to live.

If you did enjoy life, would your life look any different? My suggestion is that every time you find yourself thinking about how you don't like life, try to flip it around and ask what your life would be like if you did like life. If you can imagine it you can create it, but right now you are too stuck thinking about all the reasons life is too hard and unlikable to be able to move towards happiness.

One way your life would probably look different is that you would stand straighter and wear a big smile on your face.

[cacheborn]

David,
Have look at today's post on Tony's blog.
I agree with the replies. Please seek
professional help as soon as possible.
Don't lose heart. We are all with you.

PS : Perhaps this thread should be moved to Emotional Mastery?

[bluedragon]

Originally Posted by David21

Why would meditation or reading inspiring books help? I want to know things that can't easily be known, if indeed they can be known at all. I've tried leading a normal life but that never works - I'm always unhappy.

Because the feelings you experience are organic, so healing your internal organs energetically WILL help.
If you believe in something beyond the physical world (since otherwise, why would you want to die if you thought nothing exists there?), then this something, the power that created everything, is what will shine through you and make everything good and well, if you give meditation and Qigong and Tai Chi a try. That is, if you believe in such things. But even if you try them without believing, but really give them a chance, they will work, and when they do, you will feel it and the idea of suicide will be impossible to understand for you. It's an organic feeling - the energy, the well-being. It's impossible to feel this way and still have negative thoughts.
Another idea - why not embrace an activity that relates purely to nature, so you wouldn't care about anything else?

[fellowtraveler]

Originally Posted by David21

For a while now I have been depressed. Most recently I have been feeling it for a number of reasons.

I have found that the depression comes first, then we look for reasons to feel that way.

It sounds like a long term thing. I think you should at least give meds a try. You can always quit them or change the dosage or the specific med if you have to. If they do make you feel better, then go back to the talking therapy.

Someone in this world needs you. Don't deprive them.

[fellowtraveler]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

What you want is not a reason to live, but to not be a slave to reasons. ..There is just life and living.

Good on you, Cloudie. You're a good man.

[sk8joyful]

Originally Posted by David21

I want to know things, that can't easily be known.

How else I'm supposed to, find the motivation to live.

I'm always this sad, but I do very much want this to end.

But then I think, 'what's the point in being happy
as everyone else' appears to be, if it is a life led in ignorance'?

Hi David!
You are one smart fellow, yes you are! How so?

you know you can't go on, that way -
because it is not, who you really... are.
&
You're calling a halt! STOP!!!!
(you're not content existing in quiet desperation)
&
You want to know things
(many people don't care)
&
You want motivation to live...!
yet you already named it ,
Come here, to chat & soon you'll be sprinting... really KEWL Promise?
.

[Judge]

I know it's a terrible feeling, but there is a way out.

It's all too much because you're looking at it all at once. Life is right now, but not really everything that may exist right now, but only what is in your awareness right now.

People get overwhelmed because they see everything in the world and it's all too much. The universe isn't big at all, it's really, really, small and it's only really what is in your awareness right now.

Let's say you're sitting in your room feeling bad. But in that room it's just you and the objects in your room. There really isn't anything in the room that's bad or depressing, it's just stuff.

But wait..........there is something in that room that is making you feel terrible..........your thoughts of all the stuff outside. See, as much as the content of the world can be annoying, your thoughts are content as well and they can be very, very annoying.

Here's a way to stop depressing thoughts.

Turn your full attention to everything that only exists right now. So if you're in your room, stop thinking about stuff outside your room (via your thoughts) and focus on only the contents of your room.

The universe is the present moment, the right now where you are and there really isn't anything there that is depressing. Even if something terrible happens, you can still observe it and even observe your emotions about it.

You can say 'that's interesting, I felt terrible about that' then you can look around at the present moment and see you are the unbiased observer of what is. Wether you're in your room, in an office, on the street, in trouble and pain, you can always bring your attention to it and observe it.

When you stop reacting to all the content and form, you become the space for what is. It may sound like a spiritual practice, but it's really very practical and it empowers you to allow your universe to give you what you most want to see.

I have found this helps me and I hope it can help you.

You're not alone

Judge

[TonyToneTone]

Originally Posted by cacheborn

David,
Have look at today's post on Tony's blog.
I agree with the replies. Please seek
professional help as soon as possible.
Don't lose heart. We are all with you.

PS : Perhaps this thread should be moved to Emotional Mastery?

Thank you cacheborn for this post as it showed up on my site and allowed me to see it.

David,

First let me say, please don't do anything to hurt yourself (be it physically or by tormenting yourself with your thoughts). There are people out there and on here who love you and want to see you do good. You said it yourself, you have real friends. They would want to see you happy. Just look at all the people on here who want to see you do good.

You said you don't like living in a world where nothing can be known for sure and also that you don't know where your life is going.

Let's look at those two first.

First, there IS order to what might seem lke a chaotic world. Just like the physical law of gravity, there are certain infallible spiritual laws that govern us such as the laws of compensation, vibration, gender, transmutation, relativity, etc.. Visit Home @ Concept-Therapy or shoot me a PM and I'll go through more of them with you or help you out with anything else I can. Also, I would contact the Concept Therapy Institute through the website I gave you and tell them about your situation. If you don't want to tell them everything, just tell them you're feeling down and need some direction. Their work changed my life and I am sure it can do the same for you.

Second, the reason thngs might look like nothing can be known for sure is because you don't know where your life is going. Your inner world is a reflection of your outer world. If you feel confused on the inside, your outer world is going to reflect that.

So what do you do? You set yourself one BIG, POWERFUL goal or purpose that you direct yourself towards. It will give you drive and a sense of direction in your life. It will expand your horizon and give you something to work towards. Also, it will take this energy that is going inwards destructively and put it outwards constructively. Watch this video by the "Dean of Motivation" Earl Nightingale and do the 30 Day Experiment it has at the end. It will transform your life The Strangest Secret

When you have a purpose, you'll have all the motivation you need.

There IS hope out there. There IS a reason you are here. All you need to do is find it. Start asking yourself the bigger questions; what do I want to do with my life? if I could do anything what would it be? how do I want to be remembered? what do I love doing? and so on.

Please try the experiment and the other items I have written. There is a purpose for you, I am sure of it.

My cousin decided to commit suicide on Friday. If she had told me she had planned on doing this, I would have done ANYTHING I could to help her out. There are SO many of us that loved her and were willing to help. I just wish she could have seen it.

With you David, there is time and people who want to help you. I hope this in some way helps. Please let me know if you need anything else. Lastly, there is a saying that I heard once, I think it goes like this, when you feel like you're having a breakdown, you're not having a breakdown but a breakTHROUGH. You're seeing that your old way of life no longer works and that it's time for something new and better. I think you can find that and we're all here to help you in any way we can.

[m18pak]

David, have you tried helping others who are less fortunate than you? I know that when you are consumed with depression it can seem as if you have it worse than everyone else, but the truth is that depression is inherently self-centered, and when you reach out to others you'll always get a new perspective on your life.

I try and ask for help from the other side but I never seem to get it no matter how much I ask. Heck, I don't even know if there is such thing as 'help on the other side'! For quite a few months now I have wondered whether the silence is deliberate as a way of helping me to 'wake up', if that makes sense?

Have you considered the possibility that this is because you haven't asked for help with an open mind? In other words, is it possible you have been given an answer, but you have refused to hear the answer because it didn't correspond with what you want to hear.

I am very sorry that you are going through this. I know what it's like to feel trapped, like everything is just too hard and nothing is worth it. I hope you do get better, and I wish you well. I would also appreciate it if you could give me a little more detail on what exactly it is that's burdening you.

[Pequod]

Originally Posted by David21

I haven't tried much else. What can make 'I don't like life' any easier?

You give up way to quickly. As long as you believe and keep dwelling in the thought:'I don't like life', that will be your truth and it will make you miserable. Fortunately there are other approaches, and there is some very good advice in this thread.

If you're still unwilling to try other approaches after reading this thread, please ask yourself:'What do I gain by sticking to this belief?'.

Originally Posted by David21

Why would meditation or reading inspiring books help?

Why not try it? What can you loose?

Originally Posted by David21

I want to know things that can't easily be known, if indeed they can be known at all.

Like what?

Originally Posted by David21

I've tried leading a normal life but that never works

My guess would be that you're not meant to live a normal life (and I mean that as a compliment)

Please have the courage to look beyond the little world of your own thoughts and opinions!

[David21]

Thank you for your responses. I did actually do a sensible thing last night and used the money I had to purchase some books on meditation rather than a bottle of alcohol.

I am actually on medication and have been for the last five or so years. I've been on several types and all have failed to work. The adult mental health care over here in England is not much to speak of which is why I will not give it a try. I don't believe cognitive behavioural therapy can work.

I don't like that there is always something to debate in life. I don't like to look through all the philosophy books and realize we have spent the last two thousand years discussing ethics and morals and such and still come to no conclusion that all can agree on. I don't believe that that is exciting - I see it as disappointing and frustrating because it hints and ignorance. If one ever does come to a conclusion in life he will only be hurt when he finds that his ideas are contradicted.

What also bothers me is that if I found something to be happy about, I would live in the knowledge that someone else is suffering just as much as I was. Where one person is happy another is miserable - that is the way of the world.

I don't like how flexible and open to interpretation things are. The human language will send us around in circles without our even realizing it. I can't ever know that this computer is composed of atoms because someone, some where will have their own theory about what it is made of. With such a vast number of interpretations, how can you ever know which is true? Life is complicated and difficult to understand and I know it doesn't have to be this way.

Every morning when I wake I have to fight with all my strength this urge to just lie there and rot. I don't want to get up because I don't want to have to face the same old problems, time after time. I had an appointment to attend this morning which I missed because I just couldn't be bothered to move from my bed. Everything I do is a struggle, an endless fight. Having to deal with this feeling of emptiness inside is not easy and, what's more, I know that millions are feeling it. If I break free from this depression, I know that millions are going to continue feeling it - surely it can't all be a lesson in learning?

Another problem I have is with people. I find it difficult to speak with people because I just don't have things to say. Moreover, I am 21 and have never been in a romantic relationship and all my attempts to engage in this kind of thing have failed. What makes this worse is that people have told me I am attractive. After a while this makes you feel like crap because you feel like you are no good for anyone.

There list goes on and I'm not as shallow and selfish as I seem. Things truly bother me. What's more is that I can't even convey them in words.

[Lauxa]

I have been trouble with mornings as well. I wake up thinking "do I really have to get up again?" and just want to lie in bed. I recently was looking for some ideas on getting a more positive start to my day and found this article: 7 Step Guide to an Effective Morning Routine Maybe you will enjoy it as well.

It's true that there are many depressed people, but you can't help any of them by being depressed yourself. By rising out of your depression, you may be able to do something to inspire, aid, or touch others who are hurting.

I know what you mean about not being able to know things and that it can be frustrating. What I finally realized is that the one thing I can know is what I want. My desires arise from a complex interaction of my inner self with my outer environment and knowledge. Even though my desires can change, focusing on them gives me a certain sense of direction and stability.

[Foresta Gump]

David, you say you don't like being in a world where nothing is known, well, join the rest of us because none of know, so you're not alone.

I remember feeling the same way you do now, I was so depressed even with my friends around me. But, things will get better, they always do, so hang in there. I thought suicide many times, I'm just glad I didn't kill myself.

Life is what you make it David, change your thinking to accepting we don't know and you'll be fine.

Do the things in life that you really want to do, don't do anything you don't want to do. Make yourself happy David, something is missing in your life, you have to live to find out what that is.

You are number 1 and you must take care of number 1.

Here is a poem for you David to think about, it earned me my own column on theabsolute.net a genius forum in Australia. It is called You're Meant to Be

You're Meant to Be

Your birthday is so special
the day you were born
bare in mind you won the race
don't feel so forlorn

You raced your way up canal
you came in number one
all the others envied you
your lot in life's begun

You made it home to the womb
a haven prepared for you
why do you suppose you were chose
you headed right there too

Your first journey you dated egghead
together you became embryo
and grew into fetus
nine months later you show

Your birthday is so special
the day that you were born
never doubt your purpose
uniqueness plays it's horn

Your birthday is so special
your strength endured you see
Jesus has a plan for you
because you were meant to be

This poem is dedicated to all who feel like David does.

David if you throw yourself out in front of a train, what if you don't die, and are left worse than how you feel right now. What if you are left like a vegetable where someone has to look after you for the rest of your life, they have to feed you, diaper you, you've become a problem to society then. This is not what you want. Or what if you decide to jump off a tall building and come to the realization while your falling through the air that you don't want to die after all, it will be to late, it will be a miracle if you survive.

David you are creating your own depression with your own thoughts. Try changing a negative thought to a positive one, and keep doing this until you feel happy again. Change your life, do things you've never done before, do the things you fear.

You'll be ok David as long as you STOP wanting to die. It sounds like you need to share your life with someone, so do it David, find a way to do it!

You know yourself you can commit suicide and no one can stop you, but we are all links on the humanity chain, and it hurts even a stranger to hear that someone has committed suicide. We love you David, even if we are strangers, you are part of our chain.

I hope you find the one thing in life which will change your mind forever, keep looking David. I will pray for you.

Foresta Gump

[TonyToneTone]

I don't like to look through all the philosophy books and realize we have spent the last two thousand years discussing ethics and morals and such and still come to no conclusion that all can agree on.

There are conclusions that we can agree on. All the great philosophers told the real "truth", just in the terminology of the time.

I am glad to see you picked up some books on meditation.

I think you should come up with a STRONG positive image of what you would like your ideal life to look like, write up some good affirmations for them, and get to work on that. Right now you have a habitual pattern of negative thinking. Creating a strong positive image, and reinforcing it with affirmations, will change your self-talk to one that is positive, have you feeling better, and give you a direction to head in.

[Capstan]

Hi David.

Is it life you're unhappy with or your environment?

Just to play devil's advocate (notice I spelled that with a lower-case, d,) I'm gonna suggest you drop out of school, get whatever license you need to be a merchant seaman and go see the freakin' World!

[David365]

Originally Posted by David21

The adult mental health care over here in England is not much to speak of which is why I will not give it a try. I don't believe cognitive behavioural therapy can work.

I may be biased but to flippantly dismiss services that most counties would dream of (and which may help other readers of this forum who have a serious mental health problem) does put your problems in perspective.