darkworker

[sognorealta]

I've enjoyed all of the articles that I've read on your website...still lots left to read

The light/darkworkers article got to me in particular because of a situation at work that I have been straggling with for a few years and no matter what I do, it does not seem to permanently improve, only temporally..

I have been working in my current post for a few years now. A colleague of mine seems to be unable to stop gossipping about people, stretching the truth, getting involved in people business and so on. However, she always does it with a smile, pretending to be concerned when in reality she simply wants to be above everybody else. To be fair, she is also fun, loud, organises drinks, outing and all that.. I have been asking myself why do I take it so personally, I never understood why I feel so energy-less when in her close company and further more, I know that she feels threatened by me as I am always and the only one that does not get involved in her silliness and generally I speak well about people, even if I don't particularly like them...I don't have to like anyone but I do have to respect people as they are, don't believe in judging and support and help everyone (but can't do it with this particular person or maybe I just can't let go).

I've tried everything, smiling more, complement her on her look when she looks particularly nice, got her a present for her birthday (although I was the only one that was not invited to her birthday).

The result is always the same, she's smiling, seems lovely and interested in what I do and soon enough she would say something to put me down (always smiling) or she would mentioned some ex friends of mine, people that she does not know well and she would takes their side although she does not know what happened!

I can't avoid her because she works with me and we all generally get on with each other at work. The only way I can avoid her is by not socialising with my work mates anymore. Why should I do that? I like my work mates; however it is just too much!

Your article has been a mind opener...I am a lightworker and she is a darkworker. How else can I explain that feeling of emptiness I have when in her company, anger, frustration....sometimes I don't seems to be able to stop thinking about it, which in turn drains me of my energy even further and worsen the situation.

Now, subjective reality! Have I created her? I must have had. I am confused and fed up of it all. Why have I chosen someone like that in my life? I feel so drained by this! How can I win? And why do I seem to be the only one that affected by it?

Sogno

[lasti]

You don't have to try to win anything.
Just be yourself and bring the light that you are into the world.

Can you get away from her somehow? If it's draining you, it doesn't seem like such a good idea to connect with her.

To the subjective reality question: Yes, you have created her. She's a part of your consciousness, so you can actually learn something of her. Just ask yourself: Why do you react so negatively towards her (even if it's just in your mind)?

[NDavid]

Hi Sogno,


I agree with what the others said - Focus right now on understanding why you're reacting so strongly inside to all the bs. Ask yourself if there's any truth in the things she says or is she rattling you because your self esteem is low at the moment? (let me say straight up that I'm not knocking you or stating what the real problem is in any way man, I'm just throwing out a few ideas for you to consider). Just consider what part of yourself needs to be addressed to either change this situation or change your reaction to it.

On the subject of Polarising, I think it's extremely unlikely that she's a darkworker. A real darkworker is a very powerful and ambitious person, not the sort who would consider staying in a job where they're just an employee and they probably wouldn't waste time on idle gossip (unless it was quite beneficial in some way) because all their energy is focused on getting ahead and on aquiring more power. Here's an example that helped me, remember in the articles where Steve uses the analogy of an RPG and lightworkers and darkworkers were the only role playing characters and everyone else was a non playable character? Well, if you were the darkworker in the game, would you waste most of your game time beating up on the little routine enemies who give you little gain? Or would you focus your attention on the biggeer bosses and the biggest challenges that give you the greatest rewards/power/treasure/secret endings and all that jazz?

One last thing, it's hard try and understand yourself if all your energy is being spent on anger and frustration. While I mention it, it's also hard to understand someone if you have a preconcieved notion of them as being an evil darkworker soul sucking sith lord! :-). If you feel drained, try not to spend any (or at least minimise) time spent with her, that way you'll have a clearer mind with which to analyse everything, free from raging emotions and you'll be much clearer on what's actually happening and what action you'll take to sort out your problem.

Best of luck to you :-)

[sognorealta]

You feel anger and frustration towards this woman, and this anger and frustration has turned to obsession, why are you the only one affected by her? I think the answer is obvious. You've misunderstood the whole lightworker/darkworker concept, most people have.[/QUOTE]

Hi Michael23. You are probably correct in stating that I have misunderstood the whole lightworker/darkworker concept. I have only red one entry on the subject, so my understanding is limited (and apparently wrong)! You say that most people have misunderstood this concept, are you able to explain it so that we can all understand it as much as you do? Simply saying that a concept is misunderstood without offering some sort of explanation is useless to say the least! Thanks for sharing your thoughts anyway

[sognorealta]

Originally Posted by NDavid

Hi Sogno,


I agree with what the others said - Focus right now on understanding why you're reacting so strongly inside to all the bs. Ask yourself if there's any truth in the things she says or is she rattling you because your self esteem is low at the moment? (let me say straight up that I'm not knocking you or stating what the real problem is in any way man, I'm just throwing out a few ideas for you to consider). Just consider what part of yourself needs to be addressed to either change this situation or change your reaction to it.

On the subject of Polarising, I think it's extremely unlikely that she's a darkworker. A real darkworker is a very powerful and ambitious person, not the sort who would consider staying in a job where they're just an employee and they probably wouldn't waste time on idle gossip (unless it was quite beneficial in some way) because all their energy is focused on getting ahead and on aquiring more power. Here's an example that helped me, remember in the articles where Steve uses the analogy of an RPG and lightworkers and darkworkers were the only role playing characters and everyone else was a non playable character? Well, if you were the darkworker in the game, would you waste most of your game time beating up on the little routine enemies who give you little gain? Or would you focus your attention on the biggeer bosses and the biggest challenges that give you the greatest rewards/power/treasure/secret endings and all that jazz?

One last thing, it's hard try and understand yourself if all your energy is being spent on anger and frustration. While I mention it, it's also hard to understand someone if you have a preconcieved notion of them as being an evil darkworker soul sucking sith lord! :-). If you feel drained, try not to spend any (or at least minimise) time spent with her, that way you'll have a clearer mind with which to analyse everything, free from raging emotions and you'll be much clearer on what's actually happening and what action you'll take to sort out your problem.

Best of luck to you :-)

Hi NDavid,

Thank you for explaining all of this to me, it is of great help. I too believe that there is something about myself that needs to be looked at. The people we meet in our life are here to teach us something about ourselves. I also agree with you that is hard to understand someone if you have a preconcieved notion of them as being an evil darkworker, in fact, for the last few days, I have created a belief in me that she and I get on fine, in oder to a) feel less drained, and b) have a better quality of life, rulled by peace, harmony, love, etc. Just one last point, in my post I said that I am the only one affected by her. What I meant to say is that I am the only one that tells her on her face, others just get very upset and spend time talking about it but would never dare say anything, whereas I tend to speak out, especially when the conversation is centred around putting people down and generally telling lies about others. In any case, I keep find myself in situations were I am the one that speaks up!
Thank you very much for your reply, I have enjoyed reading it and, dare I say, has reminded me that everything around as is a reflection of us.

Almost forgot...do you know where I can find the articles that you mentioned, where Steve uses the analogy of an RPG and lightworkers and darkworkers?

[sognorealta]

Originally Posted by lasti

You don't have to try to win anything.
Just be yourself and bring the light that you are into the world.

Can you get away from her somehow? If it's draining you, it doesn't seem like such a good idea to connect with her.

To the subjective reality question: Yes, you have created her. She's a part of your consciousness, so you can actually learn something of her. Just ask yourself: Why do you react so negatively towards her (even if it's just in your mind)?

Thank Lasti. I appreciate your comment.

[NDavid]

Hi sognorealta, glad to be of some help :-).

Originally Posted by sognorealta

In any case, I keep find myself in situations were I am the one that speaks up!

Looks like you've found exactly what issue to look into :-)

Originally Posted by sognorealta

Almost forgot...do you know where I can find the articles that you mentioned, where Steve uses the analogy of an RPG and lightworkers and darkworkers?

Sure, the article is "are darkworkers evil?"

Are Darkworkers Evil?

cheers

NDavid

[changingbetter]

Maybe you can focus on her positive aspect and ignore her negative aspects.

By the way, no one can ever satisfy your fickle demands. neither can you make anybody feel happy. She is also not obligated to make you feel good. and vice versa. Therefore. Be happy with yourself and find things to be happy about her in you. Life is supposed to be joyous and happy. (But easier said than done)I love abraham hicks.