I don't want the answer?!

[The Cloud]

A lot of people think they have questions about meaning and purpose. I am amongst these people, and thought that I was trying to find an answer to these questions. But I just asked myself; do I really care for an answer? And the answer was NO! I don't want answers to my questions. I don't want to know what life means, or what my purpose is, or how to live a happy fruitful life. I don't care what the answers to these questions are. And I don't care why I don't care. My life is falling apart, and I don't care why it all matters, or why anything is important, or if it is important.

It's almost like caring was just what I thought I was supposed to do, so I was doing it. But I don't really, and never did. How weird is that? I don't really care . What do I do now? Doesn't matter .

[tinkerbell]

I was definately where you were. Once you start learning about loa you start asking a zillion questions. And we are programmed to think logically and find reasons why something happened. I've stopped asking "why" because you are right; it doesn't matter and there are no easy answers. Just relax, everything will fall into place . The more I relax and "don't care" the more things fall into place and the more answers I get. How weird is that. Relax. Everything falls into place and stop looking for answers. They will present themselves to you.

[Michael Chui]

Heh. I just figured it out in high school and then went on to do something vaguely productive: becoming a Christian and predicting the imminent end of the world. It was fun. Like a theological Girls Gone Wild. Then I grew up.

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by Michael Chui

Heh. I just figured it out in high school and then went on to do something vaguely productive: becoming a Christian and predicting the imminent end of the world. It was fun. Like a theological Girls Gone Wild. Then I grew up.

I'm not sure what you're trying to say here, except that you've led a very interesting life. I can just imagine Girls Gone Wild filled with women unashamedly baring their ankles, and maybe even a calf or two.

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by tinkerbell

I was definately where you were. Once you start learning about loa you start asking a zillion questions. And we are programmed to think logically and find reasons why something happened. I've stopped asking "why" because you are right; it doesn't matter and there are no easy answers. Just relax, everything will fall into place . The more I relax and "don't care" the more things fall into place and the more answers I get. How weird is that. Relax. Everything falls into place and stop looking for answers. They will present themselves to you.

I don't believe in LoA, but I suppose it doesn't matter if I follow it anyways.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

What do I do now?

I don't care.

I care about you, and I support your efforts to live exactly as you'd like to live.

Congratulations on your life falling apart, by the way!

[bellemeadows]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

A lot of people think they have questions about meaning and purpose. I am amongst these people, and thought that I was trying to find an answer to these questions. But I just asked myself; do I really care for an answer? And the answer was NO! I don't want answers to my questions. I don't want to know what life means, or what my purpose is, or how to live a happy fruitful life. I don't care what the answers to these questions are. And I don't care why I don't care. My life is falling apart, and I don't care why it all matters, or why anything is important, or if it is important.

It's almost like caring was just what I thought I was supposed to do, so I was doing it. But I don't really, and never did. How weird is that? I don't really care . What do I do now? Doesn't matter .

When you get beyond caring about what is distracting and valueless, you find your Self. I'm so programmed to care, it isn't always easy for me to just let it go. I'm very glad for you.

Belle

[freddy]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

A lot of people think they have questions about meaning and purpose. I am amongst these people, and thought that I was trying to find an answer to these questions. But I just asked myself; do I really care for an answer? And the answer was NO! I don't want answers to my questions. I don't want to know what life means, or what my purpose is, or how to live a happy fruitful life. I don't care what the answers to these questions are. And I don't care why I don't care. My life is falling apart, and I don't care why it all matters, or why anything is important, or if it is important.

It's almost like caring was just what I thought I was supposed to do, so I was doing it. But I don't really, and never did. How weird is that? I don't really care . What do I do now? Doesn't matter .

Thanks for that post. really got me to think. I get so caught up in the things happening trying to figure my next move. I find I get sucked into other people wanting me to participate in there planed out life. I got to stop caring more.

[The Cloud]

Thanks everyone. My ego has been taking it really hard that I don't really care about it, so I've been a little funky lately. That seems to be my cycle; I have a moment of clarity followed by a period of sulkiness or anxiousness from my ego which I seem to have to wait out. My ego doesn't like this cycle very much and becomes rather distraught with itself, making itself worse.

The hardest thing to deal with right now is the knowledge that I don't want to solve any of my problems. It doesn't make the questions go away just because I don't care about the answers . In fact, it spawns more questions about why I don't care about the answers, that I don't care to answer either. Everything my ego is doing hits the wall of "I don't want the answer," and it's not happy.

[Maguru]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

Thanks everyone. My ego has been taking it really hard that I don't really care about it, so I've been a little funky lately. That seems to be my cycle; I have a moment of clarity followed by a period of sulkiness or anxiousness from my ego which I seem to have to wait out. My ego doesn't like this cycle very much and becomes rather distraught with itself, making itself worse.

The hardest thing to deal with right now is the knowledge that I don't want to solve any of my problems. It doesn't make the questions go away just because I don't care about the answers . In fact, it spawns more questions about why I don't care about the answers, that I don't care to answer either. Everything my ego is doing hits the wall of "I don't want the answer," and it's not happy.

Hi Cloud, I think maybe you have some serious inner conflict happening. You are trying not to care but you do. You don't want answers but keep asking questions. I don't think this is about surface issues. On a deeper level I think you and your ego are having a psychological/emotional battle. Of course, only you can know. regards

[Groundless]

Originally Posted by Michael Chui

Heh. I just figured it out in high school and then went on to do something vaguely productive: becoming a Christian and predicting the imminent end of the world. It was fun. Like a theological Girls Gone Wild. Then I grew up.

You do crack me up, thank you.

[Groundless]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

Thanks everyone. My ego has been taking it really hard that I don't really care about it, so I've been a little funky lately. That seems to be my cycle; I have a moment of clarity followed by a period of sulkiness or anxiousness from my ego which I seem to have to wait out. My ego doesn't like this cycle very much and becomes rather distraught with itself, making itself worse.

The hardest thing to deal with right now is the knowledge that I don't want to solve any of my problems. It doesn't make the questions go away just because I don't care about the answers . In fact, it spawns more questions about why I don't care about the answers, that I don't care to answer either. Everything my ego is doing hits the wall of "I don't want the answer," and it's not happy.

The ironical (yes, a made up word) part is nothing matters since there is no you. You do not have to solve anything. You can just float and do nothing. You can help thousands like Mother Theresa, the choice is yours to do with each moment you have, or perceive you have.

Everything is perfectly perfect. It is what it is.

May I suggest:
Lean into your unhappiness. Feel, I mean really feel your emotions. Ask it what it is trying to tell you, see what happens. Be fearless in your diving into your uncomfortable emotions. The purity of truth may lie there. Even some happiness once you discover.

[frajilthunder]

Originally Posted by Michael Chui

Heh. I just figured it out in high school and then went on to do something vaguely productive: becoming a Christian and predicting the imminent end of the world. It was fun. Like a theological Girls Gone Wild. Then I grew up.

Reminds me of a Hold Steady tune:
"The priest just kinda laughed. The deacon caught a draft. She crashed into the easter mass with her hair done up in broken glass. She was limping left on broken heels, when she said father can i tell your congregation how a resurrection really feels?"

[sk8joyful]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

My life is falling apart
What do I do now?

Hi Cloud
Life is ever changing. How about changing yours to *what you want*

What do you want? - what dreams have you entertained?

Do you know anybody else who's done this?, to model...

Start by dreaming, positive-Constructive dreams, involving all of you.
When you've done this, come back here and we can take it to the next step.

Enjoy! a nice day

Annie