You might be a darkworker if...

[eskimo]

Eat your heart out Jeff Foxworthy...

1. Every person you cross paths with in public hangs their heads as you walk past them.
2. You see random women come by and bend over in front of you as you're sitting at your table.
3. As you pick up something off the floor for a shopper who unknowingly dropped one of their items in front of you as you move past them, they say "Sorry" instead of "Thank you!"
4. When the world seems eerily frozen in time and the only thing that re-animates people is when you blurt out "Boo" and then everyone starts scurrying around like cockroaches who've seen the light of day.
5. If, as a kid, you grew up burning little ants with a magnifying glass.

Alright guys, help me add to the list...

[Elrond]

...you have enough self-reflection to know that everything you do is ultimately motivated by selfishness, so that you know that you are a darkworker no matter your lifestyle or goals.

[Plato]

Haha, that's actually a pretty good description of a lot of the nightclub bouncers I used to work with.

For darkworker I would say-

... if you're a master in transmuting fear into action
... if the images of what you want are compelling enough to drive you through times of plateau in your growth, and resistance
... if you're only truly alive when you're competing, fighting or dominating, which you do ALL THE TIME!
... if you consider the idea of "equality" to be a low attempt to undermine the strong
... if you consider the title "enemy" to be a high form of respect

[wolfgang]

...if you are even alive. To not have any darkworking in you, you would die.

[pterodactyl]

... if your optometrist is baffled that you have difficulty seeing people who have nothing to offer you;

... if your presence seems to be causing spacetime to mysteriously expand at an increasing rate;

... if your graduate thesis topic was an elegant mathematical proof that the earth actually revolves around YOU;

... if your spiritual regression has become an evolutionary one, in that you act as though your primary options in dealing with others of your species are variations of fight, flight or f*** ;

... if you view adult members of your gender as competitors, adult members of the opposite gender as expendable and children as either a nuisance (if they belong to someone else) or an adorable method for perpetuating your genome;

... if, when your psychiatrist tells you that you are an irremediable sociopath, you respond that you are merely on a quest to become a fully enlightened, highly evolved, totally conscious and completely selfish being;

... if you think it's moral to cheat on your wife, ignore your family, take shortcuts, lie, steal, thwart or undermine anyone as long as it's in your best interest to do so;

... if you take dating advice from grown men in feather boas and eyeliner who call themselves 'Mystery' or 'Unicorn' ;

... if your mother routinely yells at you to put down Machiavelli, get out of the basement, blow out those black candles and drive your little sister to cheerleading practice;

... if, when informed that the Emperor has no clothes, you invest all your resources in promoting an aggressive ad campaign to convince people that nude is really the new black..

... if your vanity license plate reads 'UBRMNCH'

[Elrond]

Originally Posted by pterodactyl

... if your vanity license plate reads 'UBRMNCH'

Haha, good one.

[Akashic_Librarian]

I don't really understand the humour in that post.

You basically just slag off Darkworking...where's the cleverness...Darkworkers don't believe those things so it's not really applicable humour.

[eskimo]

Good stuff, pterodactyl. This is what I was trying to get at by opening this post - you took it to another level.

[eskimo]

Originally Posted by Akashic_Librarian

I don't really understand the humour in that post.

You basically just slag off Darkworking...where's the cleverness...Darkworkers don't believe those things so it's not really applicable humour.

Fellas, I think Satan is feeling a bit underappreciated these days

[Zwynd]

Originally Posted by eskimo

Fellas, I think Satan is feeling a bit underappreciated these days

I personally feel the only humor in this thread so far is that there's such a skewed idea of what a Darkworker is. No one really knows. Just Steve because he defined the title/label/crutch.

Even with the posters fishing for extreme examples it should be noted that Lightworkers and Darkworkers can often do the same actions, if for different motivations.

But hey I'm being too serious. This is all for fun, right? After all, we're in the Fun & Recreation foru-...oops!

Though, I'll add my own "IF" to be fair.

You might be a Darkworker if....

"You label things in black and white terms (You vs. the World) because you fear the thought of someone being equal to you, even if their perspective on life is different."

[pterodactyl]

You might be a darkworker if...

- you find it impossible to appreciate absurdity, because within absurdity lies vulnerability, which you deem as weakness, and your discomfort with weakness requires you to distance yourself from it as much as possible.

- you cannot take yourself lightly (no pun intended!).

- you cannot appreciate any form of humor that does not involve sarcasm, putting someone else down, having one person succeed at anothers' cost.

- your 'wit' is governed by fear-based exchanges, and you view social and verbal one-upmanship and sarcastic put-downs as "funny"

Seriously, why would anyone choose to live life as a 'darkworker'? Ultimately, I do find the labels 'lightworker' and 'darkworker' to be simplistic and limiting, but I am enjoying playing around with the ideas and imagining a caricature of the darkworker archetype. Hopefully no one is too offended. You can always do the darkworker thing and compete by starting your own "You might be a lightworker if.." thread to verbally slay us all for our blasphemy.

[fellowtraveler]

Originally Posted by pterodactyl

You might be a darkworker if...- your 'wit' is governed by fear-based exchanges, and you view social and verbal one-upmanship and sarcastic put-downs as "funny"...

Well that of course is probably a generalization too...from what I understand a true "darkworker" would in theory not piss people off because then they wouldn't be as useful to him.

In my small circle there's a lot of good old down-home ball busting (between men, at least), but there's a big difference between that and the Simon Cowell school of semi-effete "cleverness".

Verbal fencing can get the blood flowing, but leaves a nasty aftertaste for me. I much prefer openness and honesty and good will, no matter what the word-snobs think.

[Venu Nair]

From my understanding of Pavlina's characterization of darkworkers, it is not better to be one of those than a "neutral"? It's a tough proposition for me to accept, especially in light of the teachings of David Hawkins "Power vs. Force". I think most people who achieve a level of spiritual understanding gravitate towards being "lightworkers". People like me (who haven't had a breakthrough yet) tend to do what they think is best in the moment (whether it be for personal gain, for societal gain, or both). I think a true "darkworker" simply does not care about other people or their reactions to their actions. So a good example would be the executives at AIG who took a five figure spa treatment to relieve stress after the federal government bailed them out with taxpayer money. Our current VP strikes me as a potential darkworker as well. So if one exhibits behavior that consistently and systematically plays toward the low conciousness emotions of desire and greed, then they probably are a "darkworker"...

[oBakasan]

You like broccoli.

[Daniel Birdick]

...your nickname begins with Darth.

[Plato]

If you're black and aren't sure if you have a job.

[Daniel Birdick]

Originally Posted by Plato

If you're black and aren't sure if you have a job.

OH SNAP DUDE!!!

[faithwork]

Originally Posted by Plato

If you're black and aren't sure if you have a job.

For real...it's easy to look at the world in terms of polarity. You don't know what happens to people to make them behave the way "darkworkers" do. Not all darkworkers are sociapathic and true "lightworkers" know this. Aybody who has snappy comments on the subject is just afraid that they may actually be one!

[Plato]

What advice did Steve Pavlina give to the sad darkworker?

Lighten up, dude!!

[seeker5]

.....Out of revenge, you start a thread called "You might be a lightworker if"

[eskimo]

^ that's funny! I was thinking the same thing.

[Akashic_Librarian]

I'm glad people are finally looking at that thread

Remember folks, its all in jest, don't take it too seriously.

[pterodactyl]

As expected, the darkworkers retaliate!

To show my "neutrality" I suppose I have to come up with something for that thread as well..

[ProjectX]

-When you're enter a white clothes only party wearing completely black and still stay under the radar.
-You volunteer to work in a soup kitchen for homeless peop.......ah nevermind.

[Billy]

Originally Posted by Plato

Haha, that's actually a pretty good description of a lot of the nightclub bouncers I used to work with.

For darkworker I would say-

... if you're a master in transmuting fear into action
... if the images of what you want are compelling enough to drive you through times of plateau in your growth, and resistance
... if you're only truly alive when you're competing, fighting or dominating, which you do ALL THE TIME!
... if you consider the idea of "equality" to be a low attempt to undermine the strong
... if you consider the title "enemy" to be a high form of respect

Thats a socciopath

[Billy]

The buddha said that if you meet your parents on the path" slay them" Was he a darkworker? i don't know, but I do know that if you polarise any idea or frame of reference then you isolate yourself from half of reality. People have been watching too many Star Wars movies.

[Elfwing]

... Darth Vader is your hero.

... You live life being remembered as the purest Lightworker who ever lived, but you actually did all of those just because it made you feel better.

... You play the bad guy in roleplaying.

... You cheer the evil characters.

[oBakasan]

... Darth Vader is your hero.

... You live life being remembered as the purest Lightworker who ever lived, but you actually did all of those just because it made you feel better.

... You play the bad guy in roleplaying.

... You cheer the evil characters.

Guilty of all four.

[st33med]

... you develop a machine that can sap happiness from others into you
... you chain people to work for you (This happens more than you think )
... people have the sudden desire to move out the neighborhood when you move in
... Emperor Palpatine is your God
... spamming people's mailbox makes you happier than you claim to give their mates in bed

[JoeGoldfarb]

Originally Posted by Billy

Thats a socciopath

those who use a medical term do not use the "darkworker" term.