|10-03-2008, 01:35 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2008
Conscious and Talking to Lower Conscious People
I have stated in my welcome topic that I have a fading Aspergers Syndrome, which is a very mild Autism that renders in social retardation and such.
However, during my teenager years as of now, I am ... confused... Not really the word I like though... Basically, something changed within me during my last year in middle school that made me likable. I look at myself today and then look at myself last year, the year before, or even when I was 12 years old, and realize I was much different each year. I became likable. I have the potential to become popular, if I wanted to, but I lack 'connections' with people to go into conversation, and even when I do go into conversation, I have to lower my conscious level. These are nice people, but, with my high state of conscious, I cannot talk about 'that show last night' because I didn't watch it. If I try to talk computers, that, of course, leads to awkward situations.
My question is how do I get into conversations without having to lower my consciousness so much that it instead forces me to listen? How do I find people of higher conscious levels in real life?
|10-03-2008, 02:46 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Love in Action (Mod)
Join Date: May 2008
I wouldn't think of it in terms of high or low consciousness. You can come across as judging or have an air of superiority when you say that.
Instead, it's just that you don't have much in common with other people. That's OK; you probably never will. You can either find people who have similar interests, or expand your own interests to associate with more people.
It'll be important as you grow up that you can converse with other people, regardless of their interests or "consciousness level."
|10-03-2008, 10:53 AM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2007
Try to see through the apparent superficiality of the content of any conversation. There is a real person in front of you, communicating on many levels, perhaps needing help. Just be there with that person.
For example, when people meet, often the first thing they talk about is the weather, but if you attend closely, there is more going on.
‘It’s a nice day, isn’t it’ (I am feeling happy and I would like you to share in that).
‘Well, the forecast said it’s going to rain later’ (I don’t wish to share in your joy. I reject your offering. I have a pessimistic view on life. I don't have time for you).
See what I’m getting at?
Smile and enter the other person's reality, then you will expand in your own consciousness.
Last edited by Cantando; 10-03-2008 at 10:55 AM.
|10-03-2008, 12:49 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2008
Communication is not about objective content, it's about relating to other people, sharing feelings and building relationships.
You are not lowering your conscioussness when you talk about something mundane, you are lowering your conscioussness when you are too superior to connect with other people.
|10-03-2008, 01:48 PM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2007
Ask them questions.
I struggle with this problem too. I don't really like small talk, but it's all but required in my profession. One simple way I get around it is to ask people questions. This accomplishes two things: 1. it gets people talking... people generally love to talk about themselves - and - 2. by asking the right questions you can steer the conversation, perhaps toward a topic which is of more interest to you.
|10-03-2008, 02:43 PM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2007
My son has basically the same problem, for rather different reasons (a different mental "condition"). He does have the advantage of having more life experiences before he got that way (he's almost 30). But it gets easier as you get older and social interaction becomes somewhat less important. what he does is to hang out more with people who know what he's into (software development). Makes it a lot easier.
Your best bet right now is to gain a variety of different experiences - stretch your field of interests as much as possible. Not only will it make you a better conversationlist, but it will aid you in the things you're already interested in. For example, if you like to do game programming, learnng about football will help you design a football game. And one interest leads to another - the example I just gave could lead you to sports medicine which could lead you to designing a program to keep track of an athelete's physical condition.
Maybe watch the most popular tv show they always talk about, then you could comment on it.
Bottom line, most everybody goes thru this to some extent. Try to relax and not let it bother you too muc, it'll get better.
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