Increasing Resistance

[fellowtraveler]

I once heard a wise person note that the closer one gets to the truth, the more rsistance is put up by...well, I guess it depends on what system you're using. For Christians it would be Satan making his last furious efforts, tempting you in the desert. For a psychologist, perhaps it would be the most primally-entrenched portions of one's ego trying to fight off change of any kind.

For me, it feels like a combination of those (no Christian here though, I hasten to add). It seems like I don't want to know the truth...but I do, I really do. Really, really do. Did I say I do?

Have you had the experience of your momentary setbacks becomng worse as you "progress"? My baseline used to be depression/anxiety...but I've made giant strides away from that. Now, one day (like today), I'll just get a case of the screamin' mimi's - usually only for a day, but it's bad, like snorting Drano bad. Then it's gone (I hope).

Anyone? Should I feel hopeful that it means I'm getting close(er)?

[torilink]

I guess I'd try to detach from the need to label it or define it - it simply is. If you are aware that your ego is in control & resistant & you observe / allow it / let it be - then that is a giant step forward.

I'd try not to get hung up on the need to judge yourself and label these experiences.

[Jarrod]

I found at the start things got very difficult as I tried to break the hold thoughts and emotions had on me. Then things got a bit easier.

Now whenever I see something that requires a big effort to change then things get difficult.

Making fundamental changes to yourself requires extra effort beyond our everyday efforts.