How do I separate my issues from others' issues?

[BenThere]

It took me two hours to get this under a thousand words. Hopefully it's not so much that I'll have be rejected for having too many problems.

My life has a multitude of issues, including:

• The collapse of my health that keeps me from working. Intermittent seizures and catastrophic exhaustion are just two of the troublesome symptoms, making it difficult for me to commit to plans.
• The collapse of my finances from being out of work - NO savings, credit, investments, etc. left to fall back on.
• Not being able to get medical help because of being broke. My condition is mired in political BS, making it unclear whether the county health system could help me.
• My partner's extreme PTSD (from violent childhood abuse) that keeps her from working, although her disability insurance pays part of our bills. Plans, follow through, money, and dealing with other people all throw her into total freakout mode because they all were connected with her getting beat up throughout her first couple of decades.
• The abusiveness of my family that keeps me from knowing where my father was buried (I wasn't allowed to attend his funeral) and whether my mother's still alive. She's hung up and not returned calls, and not acknowledged letters from me and from her brother, for years... to the point I felt there was no use in continuing to try to reach someone who doesn't want to be reached.
• Living in a place where the summer climate is very hard on my health. The change of seasons around October makes things a lot better for me.
• At a loss to summarize my life in a 10 second "sound bite" like you get on TV - leading to some people who cared giving up on me because they just can't begin to understand why we don't simply "try harder."

There's more, but these are the biggest issues.

As you can see from my other postings, I'm vigorously working to learn positive thinking approaches that could help me and other people.

But personally, I am SO STUCK.

I feel that at least some of this has a spiritual element that is not really my burden. My parents were in a very destructive faith healing cult when I was a kid. Once they left the cult, they then let my needs slide to deal with other family member's issues. So I never learned what it means to "take good care of myself." And I recognize a destructive pattern of getting into relationships with people who don't take good care of themselves, and are unable to consistently help me either. After all, that's what family was mostly about for me as a kid.

We have excellent free ongoing cognitive therapy from a social worker. We are in a positive, constructive church. We have a couple of helpful mentors and a couple of friends in our lives. Otherwise, we're pretty isolated. We don't have anyone in our lives with a spiritual perspective outside of mainstream Christianity, which both of us feel is nice but not the whole story for us.

I'm fascinated by ayahuesca reports about the shaman helping people get free of the spiritual darts & darkness that oppressed them. I feel a sense of resonance with those kind of ideas. Would like to find out if that kind of healing could happen for me. At this point even if I had the money, I'm not sure if I could survive a trip to the jungle.

If I could have anything I could imagine, I would have:

• Consistently good health.
• The equipment to get started on my ideal career (around $10k for the basics).
• Living expenses for a few months to start up the new business (another $10k or so).
• A more comfortable, clean, quiet, safe place to live than we have now (it's adequate but not great).
• A positive friendship with my current partner, who has many positive qualities, but living apart from her day to day to free me up to look for someone who is already emotionally healthy and where I don't once again have the burden of being a caretaker for someone who's usually helpless and distraught.
• A "master mind" team to help me market my work in the areas I love most. For that matter, a "master mind" team in each of the life changes I desire to experience.
• Whatever spiritual & emotional healing would help me stand up for myself at last and speak up for the truth when it could do some good; and to completely abandon futile hopes, with peace of mind that there's nothing more I can do, when confronting abusive people would get me nowhere.
• Lots of kind, encouraging, compassionate true friends.

It's getting from "next to nothing" to "step 1" that seems insurmountable. If I could get to step 1 or 2, I could see how to go on from there.

I find myself spinning in circles looking for a way to climb out of the "spin cycle." I feel certain that some significant part of my trouble is spiritual oppression that was dumped into my life, and that I want to be rid of at last.

I wonder if anyone with spiritual/psychic insight would be willing to ask whatever your source of wisdom is if there is some way out of the hole.

I'll make additional posts about my work-related strengths, and about clever ideas. Right now, I am seeking a spiritual perspective - from soul, not from ego, not even from ingenious mental ideas.

Can anyone provide such a perspective, even though I really can't pay for a session now?

[funnyfish]

what about going to church? you could make a lot of friends, and get some support and inspiration. it might be the answer to your prayers. also, some self help books, Louise Hays you can heal your life is very good. stop thinking about all the work you have to do and just do one thing at a time, which you are able to do, even if its number 54 on your list and not your first priority. if things crop up which you are unable to change put it to one side.

and the wisdom you seek, is in you

[TIK]

BenThere,

Perhaps you are trying too hard. I know what this is like when you are mired in your own challenges and you are really trying to change your life. You work really hard and the more you work, the more it seems as though nothing is happening.

If this is possible for you, try to treat this as a game or an experiment. Try to not be so very serious about this.

Try to appreciate what you do have that is working for you. When you start to see who you are as a clever and intelligent person who has things that do work, perhaps you can begin to see more positivity and possibilities and opportunities to grow and to succeed. Do not get mired in negativity; this will certainly drown you.

Be careful who you hang with. If you hang with people who are always looking at the half empty instead of the half full glass, you will never getfar enough out of the negativity vortex to help yourself.

Remember that while people can assist you and even offer some good guidance, its is ultimately upto you. This means that there is no one keeping you down. You are in control of your own thoughts and possibilities (see the intention and manifestation contributions). And though some may not agree, it is how you think and see yourself that will untimately determine who you are and who you will grow to be.

Hope this helps...

TIK