Divine Homesickness

[Michelle]

Since childhood I've been sporadically overcome by a feeling of deep homesickness. This is by no means a daily occurrence. It may happen once a month or even every few months, with some periods of more frequent occurrence. It doesn't matter where I am - at home (in the shower, cooking dinner, sitting on the bed ...) or out like two nights ago. I was walking after a lovely dinner with two of my best friends, and there the feeling was. Homesickness. It is such an unpleasant feeling, because after much analysis it became clear to me that I am not homesick for any place on the planet.

Being an American living in Switzerland, if I say I'm homesick people usually assume I mean for peanut butter and shopping malls. Nope, no way, no how. I honestly couldn't care less. I love where I am now more than I ever loved the States, and if it really were a question of location I wouldn't have these feelings since being a small child.

I don't talk to many people about this, but those I do don't seem to understand. However, this morning while listening to Hay House Radio I heard someone mention the term "Divine Homesickness" and thought - that's me!

Do any of you know this feeling? More importantly perhaps - Have any of you healed it and how? I am sure there is a point to that feeling and that there is something to be learned ... but what?

[fellowtraveler]

Originally Posted by Michelle

...Do any of you know this feeling? More importantly perhaps - Have any of you healed it and how? I am sure there is a point to that feeling and that there is something to be learned ... but what?

This reminds me of something I read about between-life regressions. One woman said that when it was time for her to (once again) become incarnated in a human body, the feeling was like she'd been on recess at school and it was time to go back to class. Some have said that physically dying is easier than being born.

I've often had the feeling that this world just isn't right...not the way it's supposed to be, and furthermore that there is another world or reality where things are as they should be. I had this thought independently, long before I began to look into such ideas.

When I used to have such thoughts, it bothered me a little because I thought I was going insane. But now I think maybe there really is another, better reality. Of course it could be my mind working through a solution for these feelings.

So anyhow yes - I too feel homesick quite often. I don't think there's any healing of it to be done short of going "home". I think the reason this world is imperfect is that it's a training ground and our job is to learn, and to try and find our way back home, like a cosmic survival exercise.

[stellasky]

I definitely experience this...having lived in different countries throughout my life...but in recent years found it to be deeper than simply being nostalgic for familiar tastes and sights because that didn't suffice either...Home has always been where I was, but the longing was always there...

In my futile attempt and search for the divine on earth, at one fleeting point I thought, what if I were actually from another planet...?

Home is where I can just "be", where there is tolerance, acceptance a quality of life not based on struggles, community, freedom of expression, a place with humanistic values...

Well I may have recently found it, though surprisingly it was the place I left over four years ago in search of something better...(by the way, I hadn't planned to go back there, ended up there by chance for a short time)

For four years I literally had no home, but I spent time on upgrading my person (back to College, lots of spiritual work on mind and body and pursuing and exhausting ambitious desires)

Home may be the discovery of the divine in myself so that I could better appreciate what I had and left...

It may not be completely perfect but the pros far outweigh the cons.

[Playlife]

Originally Posted by stellasky

In my futile attempt and search for the divine on earth, at one fleeting point I thought, what if I were actually from another planet...?

That's an interesting comment. I also remember a year or two ago I was sometimes saying (to myself) that I was feeling "like a martian on earth".

[fellowtraveler]

Originally Posted by Playlife

That's an interesting comment. I also remember a year or two ago I was sometimes saying (to myself) that I was feeling "like a martian on earth".

This was a common thread when I was a small child. I felt I couldn't possibly be from this planet. I was either an alien, or the messiah (not that I thought I was all that; that's just the person I could think of who was the most different from others and still be human).

This view of the world made me constantly look at things as though I were from another planet...I pretended I'd never seen an apple before (say), and would start from scratch on figuring out what it was, as a mind experiment.

Having pretty much lived a life, I can now say I am definitely not from this planet.

[StellaBlue]

I have had this since a child too. I can't say that I've healed it. It is a part of me. It helps me to focus on what I feel my purpose here is though. You are needed here for a reason!

[Maguru]

Originally Posted by Michelle

Since childhood I've been sporadically overcome by a feeling of deep homesickness. This is by no means a daily occurrence. It may happen once a month or even every few months, with some periods of more frequent occurrence. It doesn't matter where I am - at home (in the shower, cooking dinner, sitting on the bed ...) or out like two nights ago. I was walking after a lovely dinner with two of my best friends, and there the feeling was. Homesickness. It is such an unpleasant feeling, because after much analysis it became clear to me that I am not homesick for any place on the planet.

Being an American living in Switzerland, if I say I'm homesick people usually assume I mean for peanut butter and shopping malls. Nope, no way, no how. I honestly couldn't care less. I love where I am now more than I ever loved the States, and if it really were a question of location I wouldn't have these feelings since being a small child.

I don't talk to many people about this, but those I do don't seem to understand. However, this morning while listening to Hay House Radio I heard someone mention the term "Divine Homesickness" and thought - that's me!

Do any of you know this feeling? More importantly perhaps - Have any of you healed it and how? I am sure there is a point to that feeling and that there is something to be learned ... but what?

I believe I can relate to this uncomfortable feeling of homesickness. I too have felt it since childhood. Do you also feel lost and not belonging somehow?

[NightSpirit]

We moved a lot when I was a child and I always had this feeling of sadness for my old house and my friends, even if the new place was better. I had a similar feeling of sadness, of something ending on Sunday evenings about sunset when I knew the weekend was over and it was time to get ready for Monday again. And at the end of the school year or at graduations, a lot of people cry because something is ending and the good times will never happen again.

It's a common feeling to all people, I think, and one they used to try to capture in movies a lot in the '80's. I watch a lot of new movies but I can't think of a recent movie with a theme like that. That song by Garth Brooks, "The Dance" creates the feeling sometimes, not just nostalgia, more like melancholy for some undefineable thing, just beyond words, that was lost.

Now, for me at this time in my life, the feeling is expanded and it's like knowing, like Wolfe said, we can never go home again because home and that time, in that place, does not exist anymore. The people and the places we depend on to ground us, to be as we left them or remember them, change while we are not looking.

There is no home outside of where we are now and we will never be more or less at home than we are right now. That thought can be depressing or it can be liberating, depending on what we allow to influence our feelings of security.

[Calimero]

Well I have had moments that I felt like I don't belong here.
But at a certain moment it changed.
I don't know why or how, it changed into, I belong to be wherever I chose to go....no homesickness anymore in any form at all since.

[Anna Conlan]

In my readings, I've seen that souls who get homesick for some place they can't pinpoint tend to be 'star traveler' or 'star seed' souls who originated elsewhere and who are not native to Earth. Most of them are light workers who are incarnated here at this time to raise the consciousness of Earth. They tend to feel pretty dissatisfied with the state of the planet and sometimes feel as if they don't belong.

The soul group that has been called Indigo children is one group of star travelers but there are many more groups.

[robertanthony]

It sounds like a healing metaphor to me and that your feelings are coming to the surface. When was the very first time that you had that feeling and what was going on in your life at that time?

[Michelle]

Sounds to me like many of you know what I mean. I definitely don't feel as though I belong here, though I do my darndest to adapt and can walk among Normals :-). I tend to focus on profound wisdoms, feelings and what can be learned or appreciated in a situation. Like today - the Swiss national holiday: My husband and I and three of his friends enjoyed a lovely meal at our home. The conversation - which covers a variety of more of less boring topics (vacations, work weeks, this or that small talk) - is uninteresting to me and I don't even bother trying to listen anymore. However, what I do notice is that the guys have a special bond - they love each other. Noticing this special energy is what makes it easier for me to hang around. Without that feeling of meaning, I may not even have joined them for dinner tonight. If I had been there under those circumstances, there would have been a greater chance of feeling "homesick".

Today in meditation, I noticed a low level undercurrent feeling of homesickness. It was barely noticeable, but it must be there all the time and just pop up on occasion. I don't remember the first time I felt that way but I was very young when I became conscious of it - probably somewhere between 5 and 8. I used to get it often in the shower strangely enough. No longer. However, I do much of my healing under the "rain" of my shower.

[persephonevii]

Originally Posted by fellowtraveler

This was a common thread when I was a small child. I felt I couldn't possibly be from this planet. I was either an alien, or the messiah (not that I thought I was all that; that's just the person I could think of who was the most different from others and still be human).

This view of the world made me constantly look at things as though I were from another planet...I pretended I'd never seen an apple before (say), and would start from scratch on figuring out what it was, as a mind experiment.

Having pretty much lived a life, I can now say I am definitely not from this planet.

And then you gotta wonder whether the saying, 'Are you from another planet, man?!" has a grain of truth?

I used to think I wasn't Earth from either. I think it was a way for me to cope and to explain why I felt I was so strange and couldn't fit in with other people. But these days I feel the reason is... because I always choose not to fit in, I was repulsed by sameness, by the copying so I always went out of my way to do something different. But when I was younger, I didn't know I actually did this.

But I have found my niche, albeit it is small, but I am happy

As for feelings of homesickness, I occasionally get these strange flashes of nostalgia, of wanting or knowing there is/was something so much better somewhere and then they just fade. Kinda like deja vu. Music often evokes these moods, or sunsets. There's something about the light of a sunset, it seems so beautiful and sad. Even nostalgic, as if memories are held in that red-orangey-golden light.

But the homesickness I do feel strongly at times, is a homesickness for a real, physical house and family 200 kms away from here.

[Anagogy]

I need to get back to K-pax...

[Satya Devi]

Hi Michelle,

I totally identify with what you describe. I can remember profound feelings of being different and alien as a child, teenager, and young adult. The only time I started to feel more at home is when I met my first guru and started associating with people who were on a definite spiritual path.

At various times, and also recently, the thought would come to me, "I want to go home, why can't I go home?" Sometimes the longing was unbearable. Just thinking about it now brings tears to my eyes. But as much as I would like to go "home," I know that I've come to the Earth for a reason, just as we all have.

I used to believe that my feelings of homesickness had to do with remembering happier past lives, especially ones lived in spiritual atmospheres like India. But lately, I feel that I might be remembering a time in between births, in various astral realms. I feel like I'm remembering a subtle realm where everyone knows that love is the most important thing there is. Where truth is the only reality, and deception doesn't exist. Where knowledge can be attained effortlessly. I've had dreams of chanting holy mantras or singing songs in divine realms. Once, while traveling in India, I visited a school for training Hindu priests. All 300 students came and chanted some ancient Sanskrit prayers, all in perfect unison. Immediately I began crying uncontrollably, partly from bliss, and partly from the sense that I had done that before, in some distant place. I feel there are realms where souls engage in sacred music, chanting and singing, and I miss those realms very much.

But my feeling is that the purpose of being here, in a physical body, is to bring the values of truth, love and harmony to Earth. It's easy to have spiritual values in the astral realms, but the real work is to express those values on a physical planet. Being here also allows us to purify and make spiritual progress that can't be made when we're in astral form. So we're here to grow, and also to serve the planet.

So if anyone feels this divine homesickness, don't worry about it. Each human life passes in the blink of an eye. It's really a very short time, and before we know it, we'll be back home. In the meantime, we have work to do, through our meditation, or prayers, or social service, or whatever. By sharing with like-minded people, we can lessen the pain of being physically embodied, of feeling alone or different.

By the way, I'm really intrigued by Anna Conlan's experiences with star seeds. Anna, if you'd like to share any other thoughts you have on souls, their purpose here, etc, I think that would be nice.

Love,
SD

[veranadine]

I definitely experience this and after many years of travel, meditation and working with my guides I have come to realize that I am homesick for a past life.

It does not ever go away but once you work on accessing the source of the feeling you can minimize its pull on you.

I have actually been able to locate the site of my former home (10th century England) and I go to this now empty field and meditate once every three or four years.

It helps to know where it is, but the the true pull is toward the simplicity and love that I had in that lifetime.

I work to bring simplicity and love out from the true HOME within my spirit and to manifest it in my present life.

I know that I will have full access to the lessons of that former life when I am returned to the non-manifest at the end of this life.

That's all that I can do.

Blessings to You,

[Anna Conlan]

Hi Satya,

There is a lot of information about on the web regarding the various star traveller soul groups - websites like The Sirian Revelations . However, only some of the information I've found on the web resonates with me.

There are also books out if you want to research the different soul groups. The most interesting one would perhaps be 'Soul Mastery' by Susann Schier Taylor. I have not read it yet (just ordered a copy) but have been told that it contains lots of info on soul groups of origination.

I was taught about the different souls groups when I trained in soul Realignment. From experience, I've seen that the info I was given was spot on.

[dave marshall]

Hi,

i have come across many who want to go 'home' away from their physical life but this is just a state of mind. As has been said, you are here for a reason, this is your home, you are home now.

Learn to enjoy the physical experience, to relish the physical life and bring as much of your 'broader' self into your physical existence, as you do that you will want to be here and want to enjoy the physical experience. I have felt what you are talking about but when I realised that this is exactl where I wanted to be, no-one else put me here, this was my creation and I learnt to enjoy my life, I never felt it again. I now love my physical life, experiencing it as a spiritual journey and that whereever I am, I am also at home with myself and those around me,

dave