Gift to a dying friend

[playa77]

i've been contacted by a friend of mine, whom i knew since childhood, but lost contact like ten years ago.
He has been diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor. Like me, he just turned 30.
He's a guy who, although intellligent, never bothered with PD at all (as far as i know).
He is rather introvert.
My family requires a lot of attention at this moment, so i cannot devote as much attention to his condition, as i would like...
Barring that, his situation is in many ways similar to mine (father died of heart failure last year, mother has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer, all in the last 12 months, all same as me).
I'm looking for a present to give him for christmas or his birthday (which is in jan).
Maybe a book that can give him another perspective. Right now i'm thinking something Castaneda, but that would likely freak him out (he's a very conservative guy).
I feel he's reaching out to me. In school, I was the one to protect him from the bullies. I guess we are very much alike, but i learned how to deal with the outside world better...
It's just that at this moment in my life, i don''t have the energy to support him as i could do otherwise.
I'm trying to make a difference here, any suggestions are very welcome.
Feel free to comment about how to handle this situation, as well as some gift suggestions...

[legend]

Someone gave me a gift that made an instant difference in my life
I had read Carlos Castaneda and Dan Millman (Castaneda light)
And gone off to find meaning in the deserts of Arizona and New Mexico
Somewhere in the Painted Desert a young women came up to me and handed me what I thought was a rock. She said you need this. I said thanks for the rock
But it wasn’t a rock it was a piece of petrified wood.
She told me this was once a living thing just like me but because it stood still unwilling or unable to move it was turned over time to what looks like stone.

We all need to continue moving we can’t let fear of the unknown hold us still
We are all moving toward death just some know better than others the alternative stay still and risk turning to stone
I feel it in my feet sometimes when I’ve waited to do something out of fear they get a little heavier and I feel as if I’m starting to change.

I took that petrified wood to a jeweler and he cut and polished it
Makes a nice charm when I feel like I’m starting to drag I just look at the charm and say
Not for me baby
Give him the gift of living even if for just a little while
And make sure you tell him you Love him every chance you get

I’m sending some love to the both of you

Much Love

[Andrew Michaels]

Originally Posted by playa77

i've been contacted by a friend of mine, whom i knew since childhood, but lost contact like ten years ago.
He has been diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor. Like me, he just turned 30.
He's a guy who, although intellligent, never bothered with PD at all (as far as i know).
He is rather introvert.
My family requires a lot of attention at this moment, so i cannot devote as much attention to his condition, as i would like...
Barring that, his situation is in many ways similar to mine (father died of heart failure last year, mother has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer, all in the last 12 months, all same as me).
I'm looking for a present to give him for christmas or his birthday (which is in jan).
Maybe a book that can give him another perspective. Right now i'm thinking something Castaneda, but that would likely freak him out (he's a very conservative guy).
I feel he's reaching out to me. In school, I was the one to protect him from the bullies. I guess we are very much alike, but i learned how to deal with the outside world better...
It's just that at this moment in my life, i don''t have the energy to support him as i could do otherwise.
I'm trying to make a difference here, any suggestions are very welcome.
Feel free to comment about how to handle this situation, as well as some gift suggestions...

I would give him The Power of Now. That mindset would be comforting to me, at least, so as to not dwell on the inevitable.

[Markus74]

I'd buy him one of these books, depending on the type of person he is (and if he wants to confront the things to come):

Through a mirror, darkly from Jostein Gaarder.

Chasing daylight, from Gene O'Kelley.

Both are intimate and revealing, the first one also being beautiful despite the sad subject.

If he, on the other hand, prefers to ignore his impending death as long as possible, then it'd be probably better to buy some light or funny books instead that distract him ...

[sourceofmiracles]

Tibetan Book of the dead

American Book of the Dead

different perspective on transitioning to the next life.

[Aiox]

I'd give him the gift of your company, your time.

[ABlix]

Edit: hijacked account

[dorothy hanna]

Buy him a the DVD of The Secret.

[Markus74]

Originally Posted by dorothy hanna

Buy him a the DVD of The Secret.

Wouldn't that be a bit frustrating? Or does The Secret also talk about reincarnation? I don't remember ...

[stephencp]

I would give him info on natural methods to cure a brain tumor and not buy into the medical doctor's assessment! Do not permit him to think of himself of "dying" at all (any more than the rest of us.)

Stephen
Power-Book Library: Free personal development, success, inspiration and motivational classics
Personality and Growth Bookshelf
Snappy Shop - Download what you need right now, instant shopping

[DoAnyOfYouExist]

Originally Posted by sourceofmiracles

Tibetan Book of the dead

American Book of the Dead

different perspective on transitioning to the next life.

Everyone should read this book.

[playa77]

...i will be looking into the book suggestions tonight

[Logodae]

Originally Posted by stephencp

I would give him info on natural methods to cure a brain tumor and not buy into the medical doctor's assessment! Do not permit him to think of himself of "dying" at all (any more than the rest of us.)

I think you should see "The Fountain," if they haven't drummed it out of the mainstream theaters yet.


Playa77:

Something that relates to your past friendship, maybe... something that shows you remember who he was, what he used to like. And to remind him of better times.

Beyond that... just be sure to say (or write) anything you really want him to know. Don't assume that he knows how much you care, or that you'll miss him even though you two haven't been in touch for a while, or whatever else. And don't assume that there's going to be time for that later, because there may not be a later.

-Morgan

[dorothy hanna]

Your friend is obviously remembering something about you, and that time y'all shared years ago. It apparently means something to him, important.

Give of yourself, as that is a happiness he is yearning to re-live, and share, if maybe for a little while.

[jmc41]

Ask him... then give him what he wants... He won't ask for something you cannot give... Ask him. I believe the question alone will be a treasured gift in itself.

[Liara Covert]

Hi playa77,
I would suggest you check out Andrew Brunelle's blog at AndrewBrunelle.com
He survived brain cancer and he also participates in Steve Pavlina forums

[Khristine]

I agree with giving him your time.

It seems to me you have some very common areas in your lives. You are someone that can relate to what each of you has gone though in relation to the similarities of your past.

He was brought back into your life for a reason and the Best way to find out why is to spend time with him. Invite him into your home, have him over for dinner. There is something only you are able to share with him. Have a few books that you think will help him lying around so he can see them. If he thinks one of them is interesting - give it to him.

But remember...most of all he needs a friend.