My consciousness decreased

[Ceros]

The title of the thread refers to Steve's post on levels of consciousness.

The past two years have been filled with challenges in every day. While looking back I can say that the whole thing was very exciting, but back then I was scared shiltless. I was so scared of the challenges in front of me (and the knowledge that it'll get more challenging as time goes on) that I mentally blocked out all of them from my mind. Simply put, I just don't see them anymore. It's as if they don't exist, even though they're still there, waiting for me to resolve them.

Nine months since that happened, today, my life became stale. I'm like a mouse who cemented itself in the floor thinking that "I've defeated the cat". I didn't. I just deadlocked myself on a lower level of consciousness.

I want to rise up. I want to be able to see those challenges again and laugh in their face knowing that no matter what the outcome will be I'll enjoy it 'till the end.

But the thing is, I've become so apathetic that I just don't see or care about the challenges around me.

A month ago I was fired from my job, two weeks ago my relationship with my house mates deteriorated to the point where my landlord became close to evicting me, and I ran out both food and money last week, but the entire time this was happening I just didn't care. It's like the thought of doing anything in response never registered in my mind. And even though I can fix all of this easily and there are several actions I could take right now to turn my life around, I don't care about them either.

I'm like a passive observer, looking at my life from afar and thinking "Meh".

To use the mouse analogy again, it's as if I finally peeked out of my hole, but I haven't seen a cat for so long that even though I'm surrounded by them I can't recognize one even when it hits me.

How can I think about this in a way that I can see the challenges again and be enthusiastic about facing and solving them?

[Jarrod]

So according to the article, which level do you think you are at?

You basically already identified one but can you state one challenge in a single sentence?

[Remiel]

I'd suggest reading the articles about purpose. Find a purpose to lead your life with. I have and man has it made a difference for me.

[NightSpirit]

I can't tell what from what you say whether your consciousness has decreased or not. A lot of what you say could be seen as apathy and some of it could be seen as neutrality on the verge of willingness. You seem to have gotten rid of fear though.

Anisa Aven of Createavision uses the map of consciousness in a way that can quickly change our consciousness, not so much in defining the state of our entire existence but within the different compartments and situations of our lives. For example, you can be in apathy or grief about your job but in courage about your relationships. Her method is more like using affirmations to deliberately raise your vibrations and identify any resistance within you to going to a higher level.

The process starts with identifying the level where you are and making a statement recognizing the truth of that level, for example, "I really don't care about that job or any job at this point in my life." And then a statement is formed using the name of the next higher level, say grief, to identify and help you experience the feelings you would have if you were in the state of grief about that job. Something like, "I choose to feel sadness that I lost that job and over the death of the hopes I had when I took the job." And then on to the next higher.

I've done it as she suggests and it does help you change your outlook and move you in increments to another way of thinking. Allowing yourself to experience or feel the next level with the defining statement can take you from feeling apathetic to the desire or courage or willingness that is needed to get and keep a job.

The map can also be used in identifying the level of consciousness and recognizing your reasons for your actions in all areas of your life, for example again, a job, "Why have I chosen this career or job?" And then discover if that choice was out of a fear consciousnesses that you can't find another job or from one of desire for the money and the status of the job or out of some other higher motive such as to be of love and service to the world in your profession. Just another practical tool in increasing your awareness of your motives and doing and having what you really want instead of reacting to something unknown or hidden within yourself.

Disclaimer is that I haven't really read Hawkins book but have listened to him speak on Hay House Radio and didn't feel drawn to read the book after that. This part of what he says though, I find to be of great value.

While I know we can identify an overall theme or level of consciousness when we take a look at the total, trying to change or raise that level as an entire load would seem like a really heavy burden after having done some of it by compartments. Raising the compartments individually will then define the theme of our entire lives. Just a thought. Hope it helps.

[Lanya]

I have instances of apathy occasionally. All I can really say is that when I start becoming active again, it starts with just making myself do it without the help of motivation or any kind of mental preparation. It doesn't make sense for me to do things when I could just do nothing, but I just get up and work anyway.

[coLLege kid07]

Well just to brighten your mood...if you've identified that you lost consciousness.. then well you didn't lol. It takes awareness to realize you lost consciousness, so therefore by realizing it you're actually building more. Good job