Who am I

[dancer]

After reading Eckhart Tolle, I became familiar with the "who I really am" concep6 on an intellectual level. I've also felt a hint the awakened me, but am yet to fully experience it for an extended period.

So, there is the aware me, the ego me, the physical me and all the other me's. My ego is a mighty ego, when I first read "A New Earth", I felt truly humbled and ashamed of my ego self, and understood why I had created much of my own suffering. I am still, however, having a little trouble grasping the concept. Isn't the real me really the combination of all these me's? It is that me that lives in the world and who interacts. By being more present, I am a happier, more loving, tolerant, peaceful and whole, but my ego and painbody still come out to play.

Even Eckhart uses his ego, so it is still part of who he is, even though it may not be the controller of who he is. When I read posts where someone has written about the 'who I really am", I understand what they mean, but I guess I don't want to deny all the parts of me. Or am I just hung up on the words?

Really interested in hearing your thoughts on this.

[dancer]

I am a human being experiencing the human experience equipped with all these me's. My goal is to balance all those me's and at the same time drive my experience from a more aware perspective. Obviously, I can do whatever I want, but due to my confusion, I wanted to hear what others think.

[SonoranBob]

Originally Posted by dancer

Even Eckhart uses his ego, so it is still part of who he is, even though it may not be the controller of who he is. When I read posts where someone has written about the 'who I really am", I understand what they mean, but I guess I don't want to deny all the parts of me. Or am I just hung up on the words?

The way I understand it is that the problem is identifying with form. The parts of you that you are concerned about denying or losing probably aren't parts of you at all -- they are just mental structures you've built up and identified with.

I believe there is a "true you" which we might call your spirit. Your ego is supposed to be a passive container for your spirit. When it doesn't keep its proper place, the ego doesn't serve your spirit, but it eclipses it.

Letting go of your identification with form often feels like death, or denying your true self. Mostly I've found it's just mental habits and crutches you're used to leaning on. After a period of adjustment, you become accustomed to the "new you" and it doesn't feel so strange.

--Bob

[Rhythman]

The real you is beyond the mind. How can anything you perceive (thoughts, feelings, emotions) be you? You are that which makes perception possible. There is no need to deny anything. Just observe your mind constantly...pay attention to sense perceptions. Identification with the ego will snap by placing it under CONSTANT observation.

Rhythman

[Rockchick26]

I know what you are feeling...after reading Tolle i,too,have had problems letting go of my ego. I have also been reading a book on self esteem which basically teaches the opposite of this. That teaches that you should be proud of your unique traits and the things you are interested in and good at,and making them YOU. Like "I am a professional piano player! I am a good chef! I am really good at expressing myself through my poetry",whatever the thing is how you want to express yourself is good for your self esteem. but then you got Tolle saying there is no self! And you should not identify with anything that describes your individuality. We are all one! Well that doesnt seem to mesh well with loving your unique personality,does it? lol I still havent found the balance. Gonna read the rest of these replies now.

[dancer]

First off, thanks to everyone who responded to my post.

Originally Posted by SonoranBob

The way I understand it is that the problem is identifying with form. The parts of you that you are concerned about denying or losing probably aren't parts of you at all -- they are just mental structures you've built up and identified with.

It's not so much that I am afraid of losing my ego, more - until I have fully disidentified with form, I want to take responsibility for my ego's and painbody's actions. If I am aware of my ego after the fact, "I" have accountability for any negative damage I might have caused to another or myself. Also, it is not enough that I blame my actions on my ego, although I do accept my actions instead of beating myself up about them.

In the case where I hurt another, I cannot really say, "Oh sorry, my ego went all unconscious." especially if the person has not read the teachings.

I feel there is a disconnect here and am having trouble explaining what the disconnect is exactly.

Originally Posted by SonoranBob

I believe there is a "true you" which we might call your spirit. Your ego is supposed to be a passive container for your spirit. When it doesn't keep its proper place, the ego doesn't serve your spirit, but it eclipses it.

Excellend analogy.

Originally Posted by Rhythman

The real you is beyond the mind. How can anything you perceive (thoughts, feelings, emotions) be you? You are that which makes perception possible. There is no need to deny anything. Just observe your mind constantly...pay attention to sense perceptions. Identification with the ego will snap by placing it under CONSTANT observation.

Rhythman

Yes, I agree. However, I have not yet reached a permanent beyond the mind perspective.

Rockchick, thanks. I will make a post to your Self-esteem post.

[AuspiciousEight]

Dancer,

There is normally a period of confusion and re-orientation that results whenever you experience a jump in awareness or realize something new. It seems that this is what you're experiencing as your 'disconnect'.

Many of the concepts you're discussing are examined in far more detail in other places, such as A Course In Miracles, Ramana Maharshi, Buddhism, etc. While Eckhart Tolle is a very gifted writer, his teaches are still aimed at the majority of people, who deal with more basic problems such as how to experience happiness or let go of suffering.

Just some quick clarification:

You're real "Self" is not simply a combination of all of these other "selves". It is not just a combination of your thinking mind, aware mind, body, etc. It is completely separate from these things. It is "before" or "behind" these things. It cannot be understood intellectually, it can only be realized.

The means to realizing you're true Self is to "throw away" your false self/selves. No, this doesn't mean committing suicide. It is a gradual process of letting go of that which is false that happens on many levels.

I encourage you to seek out other teachings and individuals that you can discuss these things with on a deeper level.

God Bless,

[dali]

I am a spiritual being having a human experience. I like that definition. When I arrived after nine months gestation I was suddenly in the care of other spiritual beings who had forgot that and I myself in turn learned how to forget it more and more as I adopted their ways.Until I also developed this notion of myself as one who identifies himself as having his beginning at conception and his end at death. thus I developed an ego which enabled me to see myself as separate from everything else, small and pathetic with an axe to grind and a lot to prove. Once I saw that I went back in my mind... I also watched my little niece come into this world and witnessed first hand what being in the world does to her. Its like we say to these perfect little beings " i am sorry you are not good enough." and we continue saying it until they die. The ego I guess comes from disapproval, but once we RETURN to Source i.e. to Silent listening, which is what i presume we practiced nine months on our mothers womb, all we hear is the sound of Life and if the Masters have it right THEN we are back to Truth. Back to life before the onset of ego which is just another way of saying fear to be alive.The ego is scared and its tantrums are evidence of that. I gibber but somewhere in there theres a kernel of truth. I do believe though that once we realise we are Spiritual Beings having a human experience we can turn the whole thing around and forget every useless thing they ever fed us with and start LIVING the life we came to live and fulfilling our Destiny.

[mercuryrising]

Buddha say, "Be a light unto the self."

The light is that which animates the self.

Namaste.

[dali]

i was dreaming when i wrote this.... isnt that neil young? if not it reminds me of a beautiful song of his. the buddha wz right then , huh. namaste to you too.

[dancer]

Sorry for my silence. I appreciate your comments and have been letting them sit within.

[bronxr]

I have strange experience with dis-identifying. When I dis-identify from my body, thoughts,.... everything, my brain is filled with blood mainly at the back side or part, the oldest part of brain. And sometimes I feel like when blood flushes into my brain through my neck and I feel really pumped and feel pressure in my brain because of this blood. Strange is that I feel more like animal kind of more aware and focused on senses not on thoughts, at those times it seems that intellect work somehow differently. No more I create my thoughts and control and command my brain it works somehow independently.It seems that subconscious starts to more surface into conscious becouse thare are no more interfering thoughts to block it, for example when I listened to music there came direct experience of those sounds mainly words in that song, there was not necessary to pay strict attention to them. Also spontaneous recollection of memories, but there is no more forced recollection because it is not possible with this state of mind.
On the other side, when I am identified I have more control of my thoughts concentrated memorysing and things works according my act of will. I also feel more comfortable with my personality than with formless awareness. When I am identified with my thoughts , body and so on I have on the other side more deep not sensual but mental impressions, I have pleasure of reading books playing games and other normal things but when I am dis-identified it is something just like being and being pumped by blood in my brain and living on automatic pilot.
Anyone experiences this like me?
Should I be my personality or be dis-identified?

[Who am I]

you say in quotes

Really interested in hearing your thoughts on this.

After reading Eckhart Tolle, I became familiar with the "who I really am" concep6 on an intellectual level.

I'm interested in hearing what the concept is you get on an intellectual level. Would you say?

In the second paragraph of your post you say "I am still, however, having a little trouble grasping the concept" would you what concept are you having trouble grasping? Please clarify?

I've also felt a hint the awakened me,

lovely

but am yet to fully experience it for an extended period.

Time is funny like that.... its only experienced Now.

So, there is the aware me, the ego me, the physical me and all the other me's. My ego is a mighty ego, when I first read "A New Earth", I felt truly humbled and ashamed of my ego self, and understood why I had created much of my own suffering. I am still, however, having a little trouble grasping the concept. Isn't the real me really the combination of all these me's? It is that me that lives in the world and who interacts. By being more present, I am a happier, more loving, tolerant, peaceful and whole, but my ego and painbody still come out to play.

I agree that you belive what you say. Is the question mark in that paragraph a typo

Even Eckhart uses his ego, so it is still part of who he is, even though it may not be the controller of who he is. When I read posts where someone has written about the 'who I really am", I understand what they mean, but I guess I don't want to deny all the parts of me. Or am I just hung up on the words?

Being that Mind is all encompassing I would say it is impossible for one to deny or put anything outside of it. and yes



Thank you

[coLLege kid07]

Originally Posted by dancer

Even Eckhart uses his ego, so it is still part of who he is, even though it may not be the controller of who he is. When I read posts where someone has written about the 'who I really am", I understand what they mean, but I guess I don't want to deny all the parts of me.

Your right he does, but it's because he chooses to use it not that it uses him. I think understanding that you can not intellectually know your true self gives you a great deal of peace. Yea you can sence it is there but you have no desire or need to define it..because you can't. (crazy paradox lol)

I've found that what helps on the journey is experience. As you experience more and more you start putting more pieces together..and eventually it all just clicks. I wouldn't worry about intellectually knowing everything...just let the universe bring to your awareness whatever you need to learn next, and than everything will fall into place. Hope that helps

[dancer]

Hi Who am I,

I can't help but chuckle over your name and you responding to this post.

Originally Posted by Who am I

you say in quotes


I'm interested in hearing what the concept is you get on an intellectual level. Would you say?

Sure... in a nutshell - I am not my mind and my being is pure consciousness. The penny just dropped... I get it, but not on an intellectual level, hence my post. Thank you for that.

In the second paragraph of your post you say "I am still, however, having a little trouble grasping the concept" would you what concept are you having trouble grasping? Please clarify?

I am a work-in-progress. Although I have experienced being present, I still identify with my ego or my pain body and lose the state of prescence. Sometimes, when I get stressed, I can get through the stress by watching my breathing and accepting the stress. Fine. But, it does not always work and then I start thinking, about who I really am. Around the forums or on the Oprah forums, I often come across a post, where someone who has responded with that is not "Who you really are". This and my own pondering lead me to thinking about responsibility, 'who am I' sometimes feels like a get-out-of-jail card.

In a state of presence there are no questions everything just is. Obviously, the answer is to be present, but like I said, I'm a work-in-progress and get confused.

I agree that you belive what you say. Is the question mark in that paragraph a typo

No, it wasn't a typo. I was in fact stating and asking.

[Who am I]

Hi dancer

Thank you for tacking the time to reply.... It's appreciated


You say in part in quotes

I can't help but chuckle...

I'm glad

Sure... in a nutshell - I am not my mind and my being is pure consciousness. The penny just dropped... I get it, but not on an intellectual level, hence my post. Thank you for that.

I'm glad

I am a work-in-progress. Although I have experienced being present, I still identify with my ego or my pain body and lose the state of prescence. Sometimes, when I get stressed, I can get through the stress by watching my breathing and accepting the stress. Fine. But, it does not always work and then I start thinking, about who I really am. Around the forums or on the Oprah forums, I often come across a post, where someone who has responded with that is not "Who you really are". This and my own pondering lead me to thinking about responsibility, 'who am I' sometimes feels like a get-out-of-jail card.

I see now..... get-out-of-jail (sequestered self in mind) through being fully responsible for sequestering self in mind.

Yes?

In a state of presence there are no questions everything just is. Obviously, the answer is to be present, but like I said, I'm a work-in-progress and get confused.

Interesting

This is helpful thanks again

[dancer]

Originally Posted by Who am I

Hi dancer

Thank you for tacking the time to reply.... It's appreciated

You know, Who am I, you are a person of few words, however, your words have been powerful and pointed my awareness to things about me I was not aware of. It is I who must thank you and I do so with great gratitude.

I see now..... get-out-of-jail (sequestered self in mind) through being fully responsible for sequestering self in mind.

Yes?

Personally, this opens pandora's box... leading to clarity and more confusion. Perhaps, I am confused by words, i.e. 'Mind'. Mindfulness alludes to consciousness, however, 'Mind' also alludes to the ego's playground.

Sequestering the ego, suggests not accepting the ego, punishing it, if you like, this is not the same as not identifying with the ego. I am torn between really understanding this and just letting it be.

Interesting

How so?

This is helpful thanks again

How so?

Thank you for pointing to something I needed to see. I also feel curiousity about who you are, Who I am.

[Who am I]

Hi dancer

you say in part in quotes

It is I who must thank you and I do so with great gratitude.

Thank you...I feel the same toward you



I see now..... get-out-of-jail (sequestered self in mind) through being fully responsible for sequestering self in mind.[/quote]

Personally, this opens pandora's box... leading to clarity and more confusion. Perhaps, I am confused by words, i.e. 'Mind'. Mindfulness alludes to consciousness, however, 'Mind' also alludes to the ego's playground.

Words.... dose this work.. lets say for the purpose of this post

mind (little m) = Brain, Ego, Body (dense)

Mind (Big M) = Singular loctationless all encompassing energetic state (not dense)

Would it help to say get-out-of-sequestering ones Mind in body through being fully responsible for sequestering ones Mind in a body.

Sequestering the ego, suggests not accepting the ego, punishing it, if you like, this is not the same as not identifying with the ego. I am torn between really understanding this and just letting it be.

Using the above definitions I would say sequestering the Mind in ego suggest not accepting Mind. Yes and the funny thing is... its not understandable to brain...but there dose seem to be an experience that eradicates confusion.
.
.
.
This has been helpful
Thanks again

[Who am I]

Hi dancer,

you say in part in quotes

In a state of presence there are no questions everything just is. Obviously, the answer is to be present, but like I said, I'm a work-in-progress and get confused.

Interesting

How so?

I find it interesting you say "I'm a work-in-progress and get confused" directly after you say.... "In a state of presence there are no questions everything just is........ the answer is to be present"

Thats being said... There seems to be confusion in the mind... but, one is not that which seems confused.



This is helpful thanks again

How so?

Consistency in thought word and deed

[dancer]

Hi Who am I,

I see your point, however, I am not consistently present. I am aware of my confusion and am aware that if I was present and in an awakened state, I would not be confused. When I am not present, my mind is trying to understand how it works, but when I am present, I do not have the need to understand how it works, it just is.

Phew, that was a mouthful and I hope it makes sense.

[Who am I]

Hi dancer

If your willing I'd like to continue this... there would be more questions though.... are you willing?

I will take no reply as a not now.

Thank you