having trouble..

[amixa]

hey
so i've been doing a lot of spiritual work lately. yoga every morning, good diet, detox herbs -- and its making me feel lighter and happier again... i'm not completely where i was when i was little but i'm hoping to get back to that again.

its really hard because, i have no choice but to live at home. it doesn't matter if i spend a lot of time out of home because even in the brief time at home my dad can flip off the handle because he has so much negative energy in himself about money and not having enough and just hates his life.
he'll flip out, telling me i'm getting crazy because i'm changing my diet and going to a naturopathic doctor etc. (because it costs money he thinks its only to suck my pocket)

i was feeling so light.. now i'm feeling more heavy again after not being able to get away (i left the house but i could still hear him inside and everything he's saying)
i really need help on how i can block him out its ruining my life.. and everyone in my house hates it... but there's no changing his attitude. how can we protect our positive energy from being spoiled? I tried surrounding myself with a shield of white light but it doesn't stop me from hearing him.

[Jarrod]

I can't say I've been in exactly the same situation, but I think been through some similar things, not to your situation level.

I've never really liked the description of positive and negative energies that people can seemingly throw at others. It makes life sound like a constant battle where we always try to push up against others.

I look at things purely as emotions and thoughts. When someone else is angry or in a negative emotion, your own matching emotions and thoughts that exist within are attracted out and you can feel them.

So all you have to be concerned with is letting go of all of your own negative emotions. The more you do this the more you will stay clear.

With practice, no matter how angry people are to you, you will be able to at the instant your own emotion arises, dismiss it and remain in your current state.

Very difficult to develop when you only try to deal with big emotions. But if you practice on smaller situations aswell you will gain a better understanding of the technique.

Either way you have a situation which you can learn a lot about yourself from.

Much strength to you

[Captain Cloudchaser]

I've been in a similar situation with my dad, his own criticism of my life is one of the reasons why we're not so close anymore.

I don't know much about spiritual stuff I'm afraid, but perhaps you could approach the situation with logic? Do you pay for the things yourself, or does he pay? If you're paying for all these things that he considers outlandish yourself, then maybe you can try and talk to him about how it is just your own life choice. Perhaps you can try and convince him or show him something that can prove that it's not a waste of money and benefits you?

Depending on what your relationship is like, maybe you could sit down and have a talk about money to calm him down? Work out ways to make his financial side stable, so that he'll feel happier?

[amixa]

Originally Posted by Jarrod

I can't say I've been in exactly the same situation, but I think been through some similar things, not to your situation level.

I've never really liked the description of positive and negative energies that people can seemingly throw at others. It makes life sound like a constant battle where we always try to push up against others.

I look at things purely as emotions and thoughts. When someone else is angry or in a negative emotion, your own matching emotions and thoughts that exist within are attracted out and you can feel them.

So all you have to be concerned with is letting go of all of your own negative emotions. The more you do this the more you will stay clear.

With practice, no matter how angry people are to you, you will be able to at the instant your own emotion arises, dismiss it and remain in your current state.

Very difficult to develop when you only try to deal with big emotions. But if you practice on smaller situations aswell you will gain a better understanding of the technique.

Either way you have a situation which you can learn a lot about yourself from.

Much strength to you

Thank you Jarrod, I really like your response. I don't like to refer to emotions as positive and negative either, however I find it helpful in terms of identifying them. I think I'll actually start a new post on that!!
Anyway, I like the way you deal with it.. it makes sense.. I guess I just haven't reached that point where I have gotten enough practice to be able to dismiss it (I used to think that's what I was doing, but infact I was just supressing them)

Anyway I have been able to do this with people I don't know very well -- its much simplier so I suppose I have to continue to practice with them for me to move on to bigger things like my father.
Thank you again.

[amixa]

Originally Posted by Captain Cloudchaser

I've been in a similar situation with my dad, his own criticism of my life is one of the reasons why we're not so close anymore.

I don't know much about spiritual stuff I'm afraid, but perhaps you could approach the situation with logic? Do you pay for the things yourself, or does he pay? If you're paying for all these things that he considers outlandish yourself, then maybe you can try and talk to him about how it is just your own life choice. Perhaps you can try and convince him or show him something that can prove that it's not a waste of money and benefits you?

Depending on what your relationship is like, maybe you could sit down and have a talk about money to calm him down? Work out ways to make his financial side stable, so that he'll feel happier?

Hey Captain Cloudchaser,
Thank you for your response.
Its very hard to speak with my dad because he can be very emotional and irrational. He's very conflicted on views in his life and sometimes he'll say things I completely agree with but then other days it will go out the window and completely contradict himself and basically I think he's in a huge battle between his ego and himself.
I understand where his money issues stem from, he does work hard and my sister flaunts her spending her own money without consideration of him.. but a lot of the time I do pay my own bills (he makes me show my credit card bills to him which is frustrating because its a way of him controlling me, I'm in my mid twenties and never was a big spender)-- and I do try and explain to him why I make the choices I make but he again, one day will say yes back in older times they had these remedies that worked etc. then the next day he will completely disregard that he said that, deny it and say he believes the opposite.
For him he bought into the material world. He's very unsatisfied with it, but can't seemed to move past it and the idea of lack of control of money. I don't really know what to do other then to leave him to his own devices and hope that one day it will dawn on him through my own actions?

[Jarrod]

Very difficult but I would try to be as happy as possible around him. Try to avoid conflicts. If some argument starts try to catch it early and deflect it. Say you'll talk about it later, after dinner whatever. Then change the topic to something you are excited about (or if you know things he is excited about you can use that too). Try to increase the number of positive interactions until they outweigh the negative ones.

It won't solve the problems but I think it can only help.

[NightSpirit]

I would agree with poster that said try to stop judging your thoughts and the events in your life as either good or bad and just allow yourself to be. A lot of your trouble with your dad seems not only to be coming from his actions but from your disappointment that you can't leave and feel trapped.

It might help to try to start everyday fresh as a new day without allowing the pain of the memories of yesterday to pile up. And instead of ruminating in your mind over his attutide, what he said, that you can't leave, etc., try replacing those thoughts with the good qualities he has, that he cares about his children and try to see him in a new light...recreate a positive image of your dad.

On a practical side, it seems you have left out the real issue of why your dad is angry about money. Is it coming from a concern that you and your sister are not building toward independence and creating your own lives without his help, spending your money instead of working toward that goal? That is the saddest thing imaginable for a parent, children who cannot take care of themselves. Makes us feel like we have failed and creates worry about what will happen to them when we're gone or cannot help them anymore.

Or does he truly have financial problems and need you and your sister to pay room and board?

Especially at your age, if you have a place to live and are not required to pay your portion of the expenses because he is your dad, you truly are blessed and may not appreciate that until later on. Appreciate it now and let your dad know it and show him working toward your independence is a priority for you and maybe his attitude will change.