Reincarnation and Family

[Captain Cloudchaser]

The concept of 'family' and the importance of blood ties has been one I have been struggling with for quite a while.

I don't hate my family, I was never mistreated by them, I may have been misunderstood, and I may not have had my emotional needs met, but on the whole, I think that is because I feel completely different to them. I am my dad's only child, I have four living siblings who are all older than me with their own families; I was never raised with them, most of them had their own families by the time I was born, so I've always felt like a single child, and like they are cousins. I've felt so distant and disconnected from my family that it feels like we may well not be family at all; I'm just nothing like them!

So, reading about reincarnation has me questioning this.

Before, I was more or less happy to accept that I just wasn't really apart of my family and that family didn't really mean anything to me. I prefer the family I can pick for my responsibilities, although I'll still keep in touch with my parents; since they raised me, I figure I owe them at least something.

But, bringing reincarnation into this; why would I pre-plan and choose a family that I feel outside from and alienated with? Sometimes I think maybe I should have been born to that family; my parents were in their forties when they had me, their marriage broke down fairly quickly as they were incompatible and only married because of me. Perhaps I was born to the wrong family? Or maybe there is a reason I was born to this particularly dysfunctional family in the first place; and by removing myself from their lives, I'm removing myself from an important lesson? What do you think?

Sorry if this is a long ramble, I figure that some other people could relate if they don't quite fit in with their family either!

[amixa]

Have you met your dad's relatives?
There must be someone on your dad's side you can relate to in any sort of way.

I don't fit in with my immediate family really, only little bits and pieces here and there. If anything I take after my mother.. but only in certain ways. I don't really get along with them.. even her and I'm sure you did choose where you are for a reason -- regarding reincarnation. Families aren't perfect.. far from it. It used to be necessary .. to depend on blood.. but we've evolved socially so that we can form our own families if we want to.
If you're not happy with your immediate persons, perhaps it was a part of the plan for you to wander. Many can relate to that.
You're far from being alone on this.

[Erin Pavlina]

someday you'll have a family of your own and you will probably feel more connected to them.

As for why you chose your birth family, only you would know how the effect of being raised by them makes you the person you will become. Not everyone figures out the reason but there is always a reason and it serves your best interest.

[Rockchick26]

Sometimes i feel this way too. I am a complete opposite of my dad,we are nothing alike. My brother and I aren't very close,we barely talk. I'm closest to my mom but we are very different also. It makes me wonder too why i would have chosen a family that i cannot connect with and i almost constantly have this need to find close friends to replace my broken family. Unless somehow people like us have chosen families like this to strengthen our friendships or to rise above the alienation. I dont know...i dont know enough about reincarnation to understand it,i don't even know if i believe in it really. Think about it...the worlds population has tripled,even quadrupled (or maybe even more,whatever the word for that would be)...so how is it possible that we're all reincarnated? That would mean that MOST of us never existed in a past life. Either that or its possible to reincarnate into multiple lives at the same time LOL Oh i dont know,it just doesnt make sense to me.

[Captain Cloudchaser]

Thanks for the responses!

It's possible that maybe I chose that family to bring stability to their lives. They're all rather over the top, dramatic people who have always felt like children to me, like I'm the only adult! They go around hurting each other, blaming each other, it feels like I'm the only one that makes sense. I have tried helping them before, to grow a bit more, but they're just not ready for it. My parents in particular need a lot of help in that area, but can't seem to handle it, and I don't believe it really is my place to tell them what they need to do in order to feel happier with themselves. I guess it is something for them to figure out themselves.

Maybe going to them made me realise how important it is to find those means of development for myself. My mother is actually quite spiritual; she can read tarot cards, make premonitions from crystal balls, and has unlocked a past life just from walking in a park; things she hasn't developed because she is a hardcore Christian that considers such things to be evil, but if it wasn't for her experiences, then I wouldn't have become interested in them

Amixa, I met some of my dad's side, most of my mum's side were already gone when I was born, but I never felt close to anyone beyond my extended family. I felt like my dad's family were all a bunch of snobs. It's odd, cos I felt close to my grandparents a lot but they died when I was young, and a while ago, when I spoke to a psychic on the phone, she said that my grandma was looking over me, which really freaked me out at the time, cos every now and then, I get the thought or image of her in my head without any explanation as to why.

[dali]

It Might Be A Good Idea To Go And See A Shaman. They Can Be Helpfull With Questions Of This Nature. A Woman I Know Met One. Her Question Was Framed Exactly Like Yours And His Response To It Seems To Have Solved A Puzzle She Had Wondered About All Her Life. Its Good To Look At Such Things But Must Be Hard When You Cant See An Answer. But The Fact That Your Mum Has Inspired A Spiritual Spark In You Sounds Appropriate Doesnt It.