Ego is Disappointed

[The Cloud]

I've had it wrong for so long. I've been trying to encourage positive feelings and eliminate negative feelings by dissociating from the ego. But that's entirely the wrong way to go about it, because the ego is those feelings. Dealing with feelings at all is dealing with the ego. The purpose is not to feel better, but to know that the bad feeling isn't yours, it isn't you.

I don't know what you are in this sense, but I do know what you are not. You are not the feelings you feel. They are not yours and they do not belong to you, so why get all worked up over feeling depressed or angry or irritated? You don't have to be a you that is that emotion. You can be, nothing is stopping you from being a you that is caught up in emotional turmoil, but you don't have to be that you.

So you can stop trying to feel better or worse through seeking to dissociate from the ego, because inevitably any attempt to manipulate an emotional state is done through the ego. That doesn't mean that you give in to negative emotions, or suppress positive emotions, or vice versa. Just don't worry about your emotions, because they are only you if you are them. Since the real you can't be described, there is no point in trying to be you. Just figure out what you are not and don't be that, and you will be what is left over.

I first noticed this dissociation myself through some rather chronic tension in my neck, probably from stress of some kind. Normally, I would try to resolve the stress through some logical process or meditating or some other technique centered around getting rid of the stress. But it was different this time. I could feel the tension, I could feel the internal turmoil, I could feel the emotional conflict going on in my head. But I was separate from it. I didn't feel good or bad about it, I simply felt objective. It wasn't something to be resolved or gotten rid of, it just was. It wasn't like "Ooh, yay, I'm separate from the ego now! Look at how amazing everything is now that the ego isn't in the way!" That is what I had been expecting, some realization at how beautiful the world was or something grand like that. It wasn't, though. It was simply being able to feel whatever feelings were there without being affected by them. I'm not totally dissociated from the ego, but I can now recognize when I am the ego, and when I am not, if I pay attention. The ego is fighting. Every time I find myself fighting something, I know that I am being the ego. It's that simple.

Fighting = ego =/= you

[pianoperformer]

Wow, I love that. I have been working on the same thing. For me though, I have been able to be more peaceful because I realize that anger is only because my ego feels hurt, and it really doesn't matter in the long-run, so I make a conscious decision not to feel angry.

Congratulations on your realization.

[erdtek]

One morning as I was waking up, I heard an interesting thought:

"The worries from personal aspect are set by the ego".

I wondered where did it come from and wrote it right away down.

[Jarrod]

I've been working on the separation from emotions for maybe 5 years now (I also try to separate from thoughts to). It's the best thing I've ever done for myself. When I see them trying to manifest a hold on me though I cast them out. Not an easy task sometimes. I know some people don't agree with this approach but I find it works for me.

Realising you are separate from your emotions (and thoughts) is an amazing thing when it first strikes you.

[Alexjstrandberg]

YESSSSS! It's a good start for people to do positive thinking but it's only a stepping stone to dis-identifying with the mind. Positive thinking is the ego/mind and you cant escape the mind through your thoughts.

[Maguru]

I cannot get my head around the 'separation' from emotions and thoughts. Why would you want to separate from them?

I give myself a break from them but they are not separated from me. My focus is on the 'me' who experiences them, observes them, accepts them, listens to them, challenges them, makes decisions about them and changes them where appropriate. This 'me' is the 'whole of my consciousness' that can only be accessed in relationship to my body, thoughts and emotions.
Without them, who am I?

Originally Posted by Jarrod

I've been working on the separation from emotions for maybe 5 years now (I also try to separate from thoughts to). It's the best thing I've ever done for myself. When I see them trying to manifest a hold on me though I cast them out. Not an easy task sometimes. I know some people don't agree with this approach but I find it works for me.

Realising you are separate from your emotions (and thoughts) is an amazing thing when it first strikes you.

[Maguru]

I believe EGO is getting a 'bad rap' because the ego is you and it is me. Am I speaking through ego now? Yes I would say so. I am speaking from my sense or perception of myself, others and the world. My ego contains almost all of me. I am who I am but there is another part of me that is detatched from the experiences. It is the observer who consolidates all my experiences.

You have cultivated your own observer who recognizes when emotions and thoughts are out of control. This observer within brought you the wisdom to change your perception. Wonderful, isn't it? Congratulations.

Originally Posted by The Cloud

I've had it wrong for so long. I've been trying to encourage positive feelings and eliminate negative feelings by dissociating from the ego. But that's entirely the wrong way to go about it, because the ego is those feelings. Dealing with feelings at all is dealing with the ego. The purpose is not to feel better, but to know that the bad feeling isn't yours, it isn't you.

I don't know what you are in this sense, but I do know what you are not. You are not the feelings you feel. They are not yours and they do not belong to you, so why get all worked up over feeling depressed or angry or irritated? You don't have to be a you that is that emotion. You can be, nothing is stopping you from being a you that is caught up in emotional turmoil, but you don't have to be that you.

So you can stop trying to feel better or worse through seeking to dissociate from the ego, because inevitably any attempt to manipulate an emotional state is done through the ego. That doesn't mean that you give in to negative emotions, or suppress positive emotions, or vice versa. Just don't worry about your emotions, because they are only you if you are them. Since the real you can't be described, there is no point in trying to be you. Just figure out what you are not and don't be that, and you will be what is left over.

I first noticed this dissociation myself through some rather chronic tension in my neck, probably from stress of some kind. Normally, I would try to resolve the stress through some logical process or meditating or some other technique centered around getting rid of the stress. But it was different this time. I could feel the tension, I could feel the internal turmoil, I could feel the emotional conflict going on in my head. But I was separate from it. I didn't feel good or bad about it, I simply felt objective. It wasn't something to be resolved or gotten rid of, it just was. It wasn't like "Ooh, yay, I'm separate from the ego now! Look at how amazing everything is now that the ego isn't in the way!" That is what I had been expecting, some realization at how beautiful the world was or something grand like that. It wasn't, though. It was simply being able to feel whatever feelings were there without being affected by them. I'm not totally dissociated from the ego, but I can now recognize when I am the ego, and when I am not, if I pay attention. The ego is fighting. Every time I find myself fighting something, I know that I am being the ego. It's that simple.

Fighting = ego =/= you

[Parthon]

Originally Posted by Maguru

I cannot get my head around the 'separation' from emotions and thoughts. Why would you want to separate from them?

I give myself a break from them but they are not separated from me. My focus is on the 'me' who experiences them, observes them, accepts them, listens to them, challenges them, makes decisions about them and changes them where appropriate. This 'me' is the 'whole of my consciousness' that can only be accessed in relationship to my body, thoughts and emotions.
Without them, who am I?

That's a very good question actually. Without your thoughts, emotions and feelings, who are you?

Noone can answer this question but you, only because the answer can not be answered, only experienced.

For me, I've found that I am the canvas behind my life. I'm not the ego, or my thoughts and feelings, I'm the fundamental existance in which that all happens.

Have I disidentified from my mind? Trick question. Once you stop honouring your own identity, there's no identification, and no need to disidentify. I would say that instead, I know who I really am, and my mind has become my greatest instrument, my ego is the connection to my uniqueness and my feelings/emotions are the best way to measure how my body is doing. It's not that I don't need them anymore, it's that the nature of the relationship with them has changed for the better.

[Jarrod]

Originally Posted by Maguru

I cannot get my head around the 'separation' from emotions and thoughts. Why would you want to separate from them?

I give myself a break from them but they are not separated from me. My focus is on the 'me' who experiences them, observes them, accepts them, listens to them, challenges them, makes decisions about them and changes them where appropriate. This 'me' is the 'whole of my consciousness' that can only be accessed in relationship to my body, thoughts and emotions.
Without them, who am I?

I need to explain my focus. My thoughts are fleeting, they come and go, they contradict each other, they do good and bad. However I find there is something constant when no thought exists. This 'something' is what I think is the 'real' me, because it's always there. I can trust it and it guides me.

The same with emotions. Intuition being the most noticeable manifestation of the constant.

Don't get me wrong, I am still responsible for my thoughts, emotions and actions.

Do I consider thoughts to be a manifestation of that constant element I would call 'me'. The jury is still out on that. Currently I say no because I find having the separation leads me to a much happier and more peaceful way of living.

I know so little about the unconscious side of me... by definition

[uberinquisitive]

I think Eckhart Tolle said it very well:

What happens when you're not unhappy to be unhappy

[Maguru]

Originally Posted by Parthon

That's a very good question actually. Without your thoughts, emotions and feelings, who are you?

Noone can answer this question but you, only because the answer can not be answered, only experienced.

For me, I've found that I am the canvas behind my life. I'm not the ego, or my thoughts and feelings, I'm the fundamental existance in which that all happens.

Have I disidentified from my mind? Trick question. Once you stop honouring your own identity, there's no identification, and no need to disidentify. I would say that instead, I know who I really am, and my mind has become my greatest instrument, my ego is the connection to my uniqueness and my feelings/emotions are the best way to measure how my body is doing. It's not that I don't need them anymore, it's that the nature of the relationship with them has changed for the better.

Surely you being the 'canvas' is who you USED to be. You are not that now.

[Parthon]

Originally Posted by Maguru

Surely you being the 'canvas' is who you USED to be. You are not that now.

I used canvas just to donate a space of creation where anything is possible. Much like in painting, first you start with nothing, in this case a blank sheet of canvas, then you create. I know there's more too it than that, but it's an apt way of looking at life.

If your past experiences, mind, ego and emotional responses are the paint, then if you are closely identified they will clog up the canvas. Your power will be diminished as you will have less clear space to work with, and that clear space will be affected by what's already on the rest of the canvas. How you clear the canvas is to be realise you are the canvas, then you can clear away the paint of the past and ego and paint something new in it's place. You can paint an entirely different painting then, but eventually that will become old and will need to be cleared to.

I know the metaphor isn't completely apt, but it's a start. When I say canvas I refer to your pure existance without all of the baggage. You are the context for which all the content of your life resides. When you know deep down that you are the outside and not the inside of your life, it gives you freedom and clarity, from which you can powerfully deal with the inside. My mind, ego and emotions then become items to be seen, heard and dealt with.

The only way I know how to get this extent of mastery is to be one with the context of myself. To be the true self, not the "stuff" we think makes us up.