Letting Go of Desire

[bellemeadows]

OK, so I experienced a hefty amount of trauma in my childhood.

In the last few years, I feel like that little girl inside has woken up, and she is so filled with pain and desire at times. I honestly think this kind of needy desire is not so very helpful to experiencing life joyously. If you focus on lack and want, you get more lack and want.

How do I help that little girl feel satisfied, and not so needy and desirous? How do I let go the desires, and just enjoy the 'living'?

I try to love and support that part of myself. To just be with her, and be kind. I have some methods I use, but she keeps coming back needy.

Any suggestions? I would appreciate your input. Blessings from Belle,

[Angela]

I love desires. Desire feels very good to me. Like the happy, ripe, childlike anticipation of all the wonderfully abundant delicious experiences I fully expect and accept, every day, every moment. There's no reason for me to think they will dry up, because Who I Am is infinite abundance.

Maybe you are thinking of desire as the contrast between the unwanted stuff or conditions that you have, and the "someday, somehow" band-aid that you believe would fix your problems. (And of course part of that is believing that your problems are really problems ). I can see how that would feel like lack pain or lack.

Perhaps rather than trying to get rid of desire, you'd like to try on a new perspective around it? One which has you recognizing the unlimited joy and abundance that you truly are. With this perspective, you'll REALize that your desires are simply delightful truths about yourself that already exist within you, and you don't need to wait or do anything in order to be satisfied or fulfilled.

Another suggestion is to examine your desires deeply for your inner truth: what is it you will really have if you have what you think you lack? Keep asking that question, unconcealing more and more layers of your desire until you reach your heart's desire -- the quality, condition, or value that inspires you deep within the more apparent surface desire.

Belle, I think you would really enjoy the book, "Breaking Loose from the Money Game."

[bellemeadows]

Hmmmm; I went and purchased that book, along with the other book that gentleman wrote.

For me, desires seem to be almost hardwired, generating this internal script and the emotions to go with it about never being satisfied, never able to have. This is a deeply held belief, and affirmations and denials don't seem to reach it.

When I get this out of the way, I have no problem with manifesting. The thing is, I'm not sure how to undo the wiring -- it goes really deep, or at least it feels like it. I'm working with the Sedona method -- hoping this will help. So, how do you undo the old wiring? Let me know your thoughts. Thanks, so much, Belle,

[mercuryrising]

Originally Posted by bellemeadows

Hmmmm; I went and purchased that book, along with the other book that gentleman wrote.

For me, desires seem to be almost hardwired, generating this internal script and the emotions to go with it about never being satisfied, never able to have. This is a deeply held belief, and affirmations and denials don't seem to reach it.

When I get this out of the way, I have no problem with manifesting. The thing is, I'm not sure how to undo the wiring -- it goes really deep, or at least it feels like it. I'm working with the Sedona method -- hoping this will help. So, how do you undo the old wiring? Let me know your thoughts. Thanks, so much, Belle,

In a word: yoga. All of this goes back to the body. The hardwired internal scripts, emotions and cravings is in your body. The trauma you experienced as a child left an imprint on your body. By changing how you move, getting rid of the deep seeded tension and doing so with meditative awareness, the whole deal changes. That would be my suggestion.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by bellemeadows

So, how do you undo the old wiring? Let me know your thoughts. Thanks, so much, Belle,

The first thing I would do is recognize that "this is hardwired -- it's a deep belief that's hard to reach" is, itself, a belief. And a belief is a thought. And thoughts can be let go of.

You can "watch" how attached you are to a thought. For instance, maybe you're thinking something like, "she doesn't understand.... this belief is part of me; it's Who I Am." That's a habitual negative thought pattern. You have been believing your thoughts for so long that you think they're who you are. But Who You Are is not What You Think. (What you think is not what you are.) I know, I know, it's hard to really *get* that, when you've been practicing believing the opposite for most of your life. But think of the price you've paid for believing your thoughts. Think of the price you've made other people pay because you've been believing your thoughts as if they were The Truth.

And take a look: what is the thought that underlies all of this? What do you really believe about yourself, that you hold on so tightly to "I can't be satisfied"?

[Jennihul]

I say this constantly but you should read some books on Kabbalah. It's not culty or religious, but you have to believe in higher power or it just doesn't make sense.

In Kabbalah, desire is our purpose in life. The "creator" gives. We receive. What we eventually learn over time is to minimize our desire to receive for the self alone and increase our desire to receive for the good of all. But it's a path to walk, not a cliff one has to jump off of.

Desire itself is not a bad thing.

Jennifer

[wellbeing]

And, belle, as you are exploring* the good suggestions of the other posters above, may I suggest that you continue to be patient and loving with that little girl part of you as you explore? It sounds a bit like she hasn't been heard for a long while and she has a lot to say. My own experience is to sit with the maelstrom of pain/desires, acknowledge them and then have a little "pep" talk with that part of me (along the lines of: "Thank you for pointing all this out and I understand where you're coming from. I'm going to take care of you better than you have been in the past and this [yoga, Angela's insights, Kabbalah, Sedona, etc.] is the way I think will help us both. We'll work together on this...etc.").

The fun part of this, for me, is that it helped me realized a lot of what Angela's saying above.

*PS: I deliberately used the term "exploring" above because, as I've read your posts on this board, that's how you come across to me--as an adventuresome explorer, learning, moving ahead, rising to challenges. While you may not be aware of it, I get a great sense of courage from your posts. Excuse me, if that's an inappropriate observation, but I thought you might like to hear it.

[nightdiamond]

Everyone's advice here is good.. some examples;

ANGIE: I love desires. Desire feels very good to me. Like the happy, ripe, childlike anticipation of all the wonderfully abundant delicious experiences I fully expect and accept, every day, every moment.

Another suggestion is to examine your desires deeply for your inner truth: what is it you will really have if you have what you think you lack? Keep asking that question, unconcealing more and more layers of your desire until you reach your heart's desire -- the quality, condition, or value that inspires you deep within the more apparent surface desire.

I like how Angie thinks!

Jennihul: desire is our purpose in life ... Desire itself is not a bad thing.

I think Jennihul is right: you can't outright escape desire...


Also you can consider that the wanting to be rid of the desire you have- is a desire itself...

Satisfaction usually come from fullfilling a desire... you enjoy the taste and sensation of an ice-cool drink on a hot, muggy day because of desire.....

Use desire to accomplish what you want, to experience what you want, to move you from one point in your life to the next... desire is the seed by which you give birth to what you want.... who you want to be, how you want to think....

Actually your post and the poster's advice gave me something to think of....

[veranadine]

How timely my dear friend.

I too experienced lots of unpleasantness in my childhood.

I recently had a healing experience that helped my to reconnect with that inner child.

And earlier today I wrote a post about our adventures together, called Embracing Your Inner Child.

Maybe it will give you some inspiration. About desire, you might want to check out What Value Can You Offer the World?

Love & Blessings,

[bellemeadows]

I just want to thank each one of your for your input and suggestions. I do have one desire that is probably my greatest gift; the desire to show up whole, and be the most wonderful Belle I can be.

I will be putting this suggestions into play in my life. I will continue to love and hold little Belle -- it was a battleground when she was young, but the war is over.

I'll keep you updated -- thank you very much!!!!! Blessings from Belle,

[awakentransform]

As Vernandine mentioned, Inner Child work would be very helpful. Lucia Capacchione has a great book "Recovery of Your Inner Child." Also, you can use her journaling method on your own.

Get a piece of paper or journal. With your dominant writing hand, for most people the right hand, write your question. You could start with something like "Hello Inner Child. How are you doing?" With your non-dominant hand, write the answer. As the conversation develops, you can ask what she needs and how can this be expressed in your everyday life.

You might be surprised at the wisdom of your inner child and the gifts she brings into your life. This non-dominant hand technique is really useful and easy to apply. It works because our conscious rational mind is focused on trying to write with the non-dominant hand and that creates a space for the subsconscious stuff to come through.

There are also guided meditation tapes that follow a similar process. Sanaya Roman Orin, DaBen, Sanaya Roman, and Duane Packer's Home Page on their Official Websitehas some great inner child cds.