laughing at deep unconsciousness

[coLLege kid07]

Hi...I just have a little story to share with everyone.

Today I just declined a job opportunity at a local moving company. I know my parents were really pushing me for this job, and realised that I would most likely be attacked after the effect. Nevertheless, I told them and received alot of abuse just like I expected. I sat quietly in my chair, became as present as possible, and just took the verbal abuse. However, during the time while I was trying to be as present as possible I did manage to show some smirks and almost a little laughing at their unconsciousness. I'm not sure if it really matters, but I'm curious as to why this is so. Is this because I prepared myself and already expected the outcome??? I'm not really sure but it is kind of interesting...enlighten me

EDIT: I guess I'm come to find out that I was kind of embarassed in knowing this information. I had already known what was going to happen in my situation and wasn't quite sure what could be done about it. I guess it doesn't really matter..but who knows maybe I've helped some people out there.

[torilink]

I'm not sure why this happens, but it happens to me to the point where I get the giggles and sometimes with some situations begin to laugh hysterically.

I have one very unconscious person with whom I live with and have an intimate relationship and this is when it happens most often. The person will say something or make a very egoic expression with his face and ... I'm roaring with laughter - I don't mean to do it, and it isn't like I'm laughing at him like I'm superior or anything like that it is simply It is so damn funny to watch the ego when it gets going all full of itself... just too funny.

When I catch myself in this same type of egoic state I laugh even harder.

It's like watching a little child have a tantrum - you know it is useless and they are wasting all this energy and throwing their fit thinking its going to get them something, so you just sit and watch them and it's pretty funny.

[Rhythman]

Perhaps that which smirks at the unconsciousness is the ego.

Note: I do the exact same thing myself

Rhythman

[Angela]

I'm a California beach girl, so when I visited Jamaica in my teens I strolled around like I do in L.A. -- smiling and being sunny.

An elderly local man pulled me aside on the street of Kingston and said, "I know what you're doing, but you have to stop, because the people here will think you are laughing at them." I was mortified when I realized that what I was generating was not what I thought it was. Here I thought I was spreading sunshine, and what I was actually spreading was resentment and anger.

The meaning of communication is what's received. I think what you're talking about expressing is the Bhudda's Laughter, but what's being received is (maybe) feeling laughed at. You can express whatever you want to express, but it might be a good idea to take responsibility for what you are generating in your relationships and for yourself.

[Cantona]

In other words,

College_Kid - "Look at me. Look at how evolved I am compared to these primitive monkeys. Look at how unconscious they are. The fools. No, I'm much better than them. I seperate myself from their stupidity by laughing at them. I can't wait to talk to them to see how they react. Ooh this will be fun. What a great chance to prove I have no ego."

Hopefully your ego has managed to calm down after writing that post. I hope you get the point and continue your journey.

[torilink]

Originally Posted by Cantona

In other words,

College_Kid - "Look at me. Look at how evolved I am compared to these primitive monkeys. Look at how unconscious they are. The fools. No, I'm much better than them. I seperate myself from their stupidity by laughing at them. I can't wait to talk to them to see how they react. Ooh this will be fun. What a great chance to prove I have no ego."

Hopefully your ego has managed to calm down after writing that post. I hope you get the point and continue your journey.

this is your perception/projection of what was said.

This may or may not be true and is for the experiencer to discern for themselves if it is from this negative egoic state of superiority or not. You really cannot judge that from the outside looking in.

[fellowtraveler]

I suppose that such unthinking disrespect is universal across generations, but it doesn't make it right. I think it's impossible for you to not know that smirking and laughing was an outward show of disrespect, no matter what your supposedly enlightened real motivation was. And this is regardless of how unreasonable they appear to be to you.

Your "abuse" is your parents' frustration. Do you smirk when they pay your tuition and housing?

It's so easy to stare at one's navel, so hard to move friggin' furniture, eh? My kids hate it when I tell them, "that's life, kid.", so I'm sure you'll hate it too. It's easy to mask one's distaste for a task with purported "enlightenment".

I am consistently amazed at the immaturity shown in here...I have no illusions that any young person will see that, of course. But at least y'all are seeking, and that's what counts.

[Mato Kinze]

Originally Posted by torilink

this is your perception/projection of what was said.

This may or may not be true and is for the experiencer to discern for themselves if it is from this negative egoic state of superiority or not. You really cannot judge that from the outside looking in.

You're right and that was good you pointed that out.

I have to be honest - maybe it was the parent in me, but I got the same vibe as Cantona and fellowtraveller. Perhaps it was the use of the word "smirk", which to me has very disrespectful connotations, or perhaps the fact that College Kid seems to indicate that he/she has somehow managed to acquire so much more "consciousness" than his/her parents - also extremely disrespectful as far as I'm concerned and very typical of young adults.

However, the thing that seems the most troublesome is the fact that he/she feels that somehow, not accepting employment to earn a wage that will help support them is enlightened. I'd be interested to know what his/her plans are to support him/herself. Surly he/she doesn't think it's his/her parents responsibility to continue to feed, house, and clothe him/her now that he/se is an adult?

[infinitethoughts]

Originally Posted by coLLege kid07

Nevertheless, I told them and received alot of abuse just like I expected. I sat quietly in my chair, became as present as possible, and just took the verbal abuse.

Well from my perspective, I'd say next time, don't stand for the verbal abuse.
Yeah it'll create strife, but it's for their own good.

And yours. Then you'll start walking your path instead of talking it.
But again, it will create strife.

Tough love, kinda thing.

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by Cantona

In other words,

College_Kid - "Look at me. Look at how evolved I am compared to these primitive monkeys. Look at how unconscious they are. The fools. No, I'm much better than them. I seperate myself from their stupidity by laughing at them. I can't wait to talk to them to see how they react. Ooh this will be fun. What a great chance to prove I have no ego."

Hopefully your ego has managed to calm down after writing that post. I hope you get the point and continue your journey.

I honestly don't think that this is the case. Personally, I've had moments like this, and it's not laughter in the derogatory sense. Unfortunately, derogatory laughter is so ubiquitous that it is just assumed that you are laughing at somebody else's misfortune or ignorance. The laughter is generated from seeing the ego (in both others and yourself) and understanding the silliness of being so serious and caught up in this game we call life. Sometimes I'll be alone in my room and I'll bust out laughing because I'll notice myself becoming absorbed in some kind of egoic game of trying to win at life, an impossible goal.

Originally Posted by fellowtraveler

I suppose that such unthinking disrespect is universal across generations, but it doesn't make it right. I think it's impossible for you to not know that smirking and laughing was an outward show of disrespect, no matter what your supposedly enlightened real motivation was. And this is regardless of how unreasonable they appear to be to you.

Your "abuse" is your parents' frustration. Do you smirk when they pay your tuition and housing?

It's so easy to stare at one's navel, so hard to move friggin' furniture, eh? My kids hate it when I tell them, "that's life, kid.", so I'm sure you'll hate it too. It's easy to mask one's distaste for a task with purported "enlightenment".

I am consistently amazed at the immaturity shown in here...I have no illusions that any young person will see that, of course. But at least y'all are seeking, and that's what counts.

If disrespect was intended then that's an entirely different case, but I don't think that it was. And I don't think that playing along with people's ego games, no matter how many of your bills they are paying, is beneficial to anyone. It becomes a lot harder to play a game if nobody else is participating. They are playing the game of "He is our son and he has to succeed to prove that we are good parents." They probably want him to succeed in order to validate their own egos, to feel as if everything they did in the past to help him along was the right thing to do and was not a waste of their time, because time can be wasted if the result being sought is not achieved. Without the end, the means are meaningless, by their apparent way of thinking. Maybe coLLege kid07 was just being an insufferable stubborn ass, but I don't think so. I think that he is showing them that what they are getting worked up about isn't worth popping a blood vessel in their brains over, and that they are the ones generating the suffering in this situation.

[coLLege kid07]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

I honestly don't think that this is the case. Personally, I've had moments like this, and it's not laughter in the derogatory sense. Unfortunately, derogatory laughter is so ubiquitous that it is just assumed that you are laughing at somebody else's misfortune or ignorance. The laughter is generated from seeing the ego (in both others and yourself) and understanding the silliness of being so serious and caught up in this game we call life. Sometimes I'll be alone in my room and I'll bust out laughing because I'll notice myself becoming absorbed in some kind of egoic game of trying to win at life, an impossible goal.



If disrespect was intended then that's an entirely different case, but I don't think that it was. And I don't think that playing along with people's ego games, no matter how many of your bills they are paying, is beneficial to anyone. It becomes a lot harder to play a game if nobody else is participating. They are playing the game of "He is our son and he has to succeed to prove that we are good parents." They probably want him to succeed in order to validate their own egos, to feel as if everything they did in the past to help him along was the right thing to do and was not a waste of their time, because time can be wasted if the result being sought is not achieved. Without the end, the means are meaningless, by their apparent way of thinking. Maybe coLLege kid07 was just being an insufferable stubborn ass, but I don't think so. I think that he is showing them that what they are getting worked up about isn't worth popping a blood vessel in their brains over, and that they are the ones generating the suffering in this situation.

sorry kind of ignorant post...I apologize and take full responsibility of everything that has happened.

[coLLege kid07]

Originally Posted by Mato Kinze

You're right and that was good you pointed that out.

I have to be honest - maybe it was the parent in me, but I got the same vibe as Cantona and fellowtraveller. Perhaps it was the use of the word "smirk", which to me has very disrespectful connotations, or perhaps the fact that College Kid seems to indicate that he/she has somehow managed to acquire so much more "consciousness" than his/her parents - also extremely disrespectful as far as I'm concerned and very typical of young adults.

However, the thing that seems the most troublesome is the fact that he/she feels that somehow, not accepting employment to earn a wage that will help support them is enlightened. I'd be interested to know what his/her plans are to support him/herself. Surly he/she doesn't think it's his/her parents responsibility to continue to feed, house, and clothe him/her now that he/se is an adult?

Again, no disrespect intended and I fully apologize to everyone and everything.

[Matthew Shea]

coLLege kid07, when I read your first post, the first two words I would have used to describe you (now please stick with me here) are "entitled" and "arrogant". I know this because I've been in your shoes and have been exposed to similar situations and have reacted in similar ways. At the time, I felt completely justified in reacting the way I did, but as I mature, I look back on those situations with a strong feeling of "boy, if I only knew then what I know now I would have handled that a lot differently."

Now I'm not saying that you intended to come across the way I expect you came across to your parents, but it seems to me that you indeed came across that way regardless. Moving forward, the very next step toward the enlightenment you desire is to realize when you're feeling that way and trap those feelings. Don't disregard them, but try to understand them and give people more of the benefit of the doubt. You walked into this encounter with your parents with the attitude that there was nothing they had to say that could possibly be of any use to you. This is evidenced by the way you shut yourself off from what they were saying. That's the arrogance. You also clearly felt entitled to refuse this job without expressing a clear reason (or at least none was expressed here). Please try to understand and realize that and understand that your parents have been around the block a few more times than you and have their own perfectly valid needs and desires to look after.

Having said that, I certainly wish you the best and I wish you the utmost in wisdom as you relate to your parents.

[liverpool footballer]

When i saw your post i was quite interested in it because the same thing happened to me!

After digesting Eckhart's the power of now, i had this period where i kept yawning throughout the day, irregardless of how tired i was and one possible reason for that was that i was "awakening" but that maybe just a random conjecture.

But that period passed rather quickly. The "laughing" thing was and is a more common occurence. Sometimes, i'll observe my thoughts and then a giggle will come out, as if something was smiling at the silliness of those thoughts.

[fellowtraveler]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

They are playing the game of "He is our son and he has to succeed to prove that we are good parents." They probably want him to succeed in order to validate their own egos, to feel as if everything they did in the past to help him along was the right thing to do and was not a waste of their time, because time can be wasted if the result being sought is not achieved.

I assume you are not a parent yourself, otherwise you would first assume that they want their child to have the qualities that will serve him/her in the future, and they want that for the child because they want it for him/her, not for themselves. It's interesting that you first assume selfish motives.

Trust me, I never gave a crap about anyone's opinion of my parenting skills, but I still wanted my kids to have the tools to make a decent life for themselves. And that includes being able to do work that is unpleasant. Otherwise they'll turn out to be the common veal that's being raised nowadays.

[Eric Revelin]

What's interesting is the way different people approached this based on the initial post.

The first post didn't give us much information. This kid had an opportunity to get a job and he didn't take it. He got yelled at and he smirked. He felt it was due to his parents being at a lower level of consciousness.

None of that in itself shows arrogance or a sense of entitlement. It implies it, but it doesn't prove beyond a shadow of a doubt whether or not this is the case.

Think about the forum this is posted in and how the main site advocates avoiding conventional employment and using your mind to create the kind of reality you want to live in. It also talks about things like intuition and subjective reality and many other topics that are along the same lines. One interpretation of the initial post is that he felt, intuitively, that this job is a bad fit and he should hold out for something else. He knew that his parents wouldn't understand but when the moment of truth came he laughed, not out of disrespect for them, but because he understood something they don't. Things will turn out for him in the end in a way that's agreeable to all parties.

Is that interpretation valid? Unless you can read minds or you are extremely intuitive, no. There's not enough information to prove that's what he was thinking and feeling. It is, however, a demonstration that perception is everything and things may not be as they appear.

In more general terms, there is often a lack of respect from children toward their parents, but parents do not always do right by their children. In extreme cases you have rowdy little brats that spit upon their loving mothers from birth til adulthood without ever giving their parents their proper due. The other extreme is abusive parents that stifle creative thought and instill the idea that life is suffering, it is only suffering, buck up, get used to it and go get a job, any job, no matter your interests, so you can help support us. (To clarify: you need money to survive. Nothing wrong with that or encouraging someone to find some work so they can contribute either while they figure themselves out or they get something going. There is a problem with the survivalist mindset that says this is the only concern in one's life.) Either extreme is very rare with most cases falling within shades of grey. That is, you have loving parents who try to be understanding but do not always do right by their children, and they fail to handle situations like this with the kind of finesse that would lead to a harmonious outcome for both them and their children.

Parents are often judgemental and prone to jumping to conclusions even when they don't mean to. Having personally dealt with a parent like this, no amount of reason is enough to get through to them. On the other hand you have children who fail just as badly at understanding the position of their parents. They focus on how they were messed up by what was done to them and what they were taught, and they never express thanks for what their parents did right. They are often uncooperative and they feel a sense of entitlement because, "this is what you did to me and this is how you can make it right."

Now, not all these things hold true in every shade-of-grey case, but you'll find elements of it in nearly any situation. This is why a combative attitude on anyone's part only makes things worse. The parties involved aren't enemies, or at least they shouldn't be. Children aren't always dumb, know-nothing creatures who need to be told what to do and how to live. The actions they take aren't always totally nonsensical, even when they're not understood. Similarly, not all parents are old fogies whose only desire is to make their children into little mini-mes that will carry on their will after they have joined the earth as dust and bone.

I am from a school of thought that says respect needs to be earned, no matter who you are, even if you're a parent. Simply being a parent does not entitle one to respect, nor is it a shield from criticism. It's a hard job, but it's one you sign up for the moment you remove your pants. You know what you could potentially get yourself into. You don't actually know what you're getting yourself into, but you know [intellectually] what you're getting yourself into. (to illustrate what I mean, imagine a couple that's ecstatic to have a child, then imagine that same happy couple falling asleep in the middle of angry sex because they haven't got any sleep since they brought the baby home. It was angry sex because, being so sleep deprived, neither of them is feeling particularly chipper. They started having sex because they were yelling and throwing things and they figured this was a better means of trying to release the tension since they can't afford to replace their lamps or dishes because of the baby.) Feeding and clothing and educating a kid is incredibly time consuming and expensive, but there are ways to half-ass this job to the point where doing enough to maintain the child's existence isn't actually doing the poor runt any favors. The cost and the time invested will be nothing compared to the resources the child later spends on therapy. Plus, considering the social stigma (and legal penalties) that goes with not doing your job as a parent is enough to motivate even the worst of them until the kid turns 18. The point of all this? The kid is not always at fault and parents don't always deserve one's time and attention. Sometimes they are very toxic figures in a person's life.

I could write plenty more, but this is long and I should get to the point: immediately defending one side or the other is a bad play. In this case I'd wager neither the original poster or the parents are blameless. Neither of them are worth defending, nor does either side need a defense. They need to work this out amongst themselves. A little laughter concerning this whole situation is hardly a bad thing. I hope collegekid finds the work he was born to do.

To touch on one last point quickly: it doesn't seem like the "you have to do things you find unpleasant" work ethic is the best thing to instill within a child. I've found for myself that two varieties of work ethic work a lot better for me: "Do what you wish to do, no matter the odds, no matter who would stand against you; you must listen to your heart and do what it longs to do." and "Sometimes you will do things you find unpleasant. Don't just suck it up and accept the unpleasantness. Maybe you have to do it but it doesn't need to be torture. Find the positive. Figure out how you can turn this into an opportunity to learn and grow. See if there is a way you can enjoy it by changing your perspective." Anybody can be tough and cold in this world, where we are told day after day that we must suffer in our work and we must accept it. It takes guts and ingenuity to transmute these experiences into something better, and ultimately to pursue what our soul desires. This change in perspective has worked so well for me that I wish my parents had instilled it in me instead of the classical work ethic they taught. I'm still grateful since that programming gave me a challenge to overcome. It showed me what didn't fit and what didn't work, and that caused me to search for something else.

Bless the parents, bless the children. No matter what our roles are we are all simply looking for our way in life and a bit of understanding on both sides does a lot of good.