Reality and the Spinning Ballerina

[Angela]

"In order to experience growth, your only option was to assume a perspective that distanced you from the awareness that you are pure consciousness, so you could enjoy the process of finding your way back to perfection."
-- Steve Pavlina

In the last week or so, I have experienced a profound shift in my perspective of reality -- I don't think my life will ever be the same. I've been feeling like a little newborn infant, without the language to describe what I've been going through, and I thought I'd share it with you.

I've read Steve's descriptions of subjective reality and all the objections people have to it, all without too much interest -- I was thinking of it merely as a tool that Steve uses in navigating his life, not The Truth. And I may never know what The Truth is, except that I have become one with an inner truth that feels so essentially true to me, that has snapped into my grid so satisfyingly, that it doesn't feel like a mere tool. It feels like rebirth -- it feels like the beginning of something like a new world.

Although I don't know that it's the only option, as Steve says in the quote above, I am finding my way back to my own perfection, and I am seeing the brilliant, creative ways that I have "distanced myself from the awareness that I am pure consciousness" .... as a sort of gift to my Angela self, from my Essential, Consciousness self, and it feels like a miracle to be seeing this. I've kind of "known" that we create our reality since I was a teenager, but only now am I really experiencing what it is to give myself the gift of this .... what is it... new era of creation. I have been calling it (I have been calling ME): The Infinite Power in the Universe, because I don't know the right word to go beyond that much reflection.

Have you seen the spinning ballerina optical illusion? I had seen this before, looked and looked, and it kept spinning in one direction, and occasionally reversing, seemingly out of my power to direct it. This morning I remembered to look at it again, because it's a perfect metaphor for this shift in perspective that I had a few days ago. Suddenly, I realize there is no ballerina, and there is no spinning! (that whole "there is no spoon" thing becoming real for me). One commenter said, "you dolts! it's the program that's spinning it, not your mind!" and I thought, oh yeah, you dolt Angela! you have been tricked! But then I looked again, and now I am able to reverse the direction of the ballerina's spin at my will. And it's hard for me to remember what it was like to be at the effect of this illusion, rather than recognizing that I am the source in the illusion! How funny!

That ballerina is my perfect little illusion within an illusion. The Power that has always been and will always be me (consciousness) is able to reverse any illusion, and it's all illusion -- illusion created by me (consciousness)! How incredible, how fun. Now there are holes in traditional reality, showing up all over the place -- like the little deja vu cat in The Matrix, making me laugh! And I realize (realize! ha!) I am creating it all, and I can keep creating what I have been creating, or I can create a whole new game with entirely new rules, which is really inspiring me, and also it is a little .... ack! BIG!!

I think that my website, feelgoodonpurpose.com, will be a reflection, a projection in my new game. I am completely rethinking it at this point, because what I was intending before now seems like small potatoes to me, and I want to play bigger. Now that I know I cannot fail (you know that question, "what would you do if you knew you could not fail"? That is a great question, and real for me in a way it never was before!), I am speculating a lot, dancing with my new perspective. And of course, that commenter who thought I was a dolt is an aspect of me, and I find my perspective shifting to that aspect of myself, and back to Infinite Power, and back again! Haha! And I have a feeling I will receive comments from other aspects of myself that will have me experiencing shifting and re-shifting, as I recognize all these aspects of myself (consciousness) in you (consciousness).

I can see why what I'm experiencing might look like some sort of megalomania or utter selfishness, and seeing that -- itself causes me to shift! This is just like riding the most exciting carnival ride ever! And it is so much fun to see that it's me, the infinite power in the universe, which of course includes you, the infinite power in the universe, creating it all.

I feel more connected and powerful and loving than I've ever felt. Please don't call the men in the little white coats!

My friend, Dancer (Dancer! Isn't that funny?!?) described today a shift of her own perspective as seeming like being on Ecstasy, and I totally get it -- it's like swinging around to see that there is nothing in the universe that does not support me in who I am. What a feeling! Ecstasy is a good word for that!

I realize this is disjointed and awkwardly put -- and I am just reborn, just a baby at learning how to express this new Me (and You) Consciousness (I have got to come up with a good acronym for that! )

How funny, one more thing. Just as I finished typing this post, Danger Man stopped by and left me a book called, "Busting Loose from the Money Game" and the subtitle is: "Mind-Blowing Strategies for Changing the Rules of a Game You Can't Win." How about that? And it says: "It completely shifts your paradigm for life." Money and abundance seems like a great place for me to have a paradigm shift, now that I've quit my job.

Another paradigm shift in store for me!? What kind of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride am I on?

[Erki]

Whatthe..?

"This is a very bizarre dancer optical illusion. At first glance the spinning lady appears to be circling in a clockwise motion. But if you look at the spinning dancer long enough - the lady will appear to change direction and start spinning counter-clockwise."

For me the ballerina is still circling counter-clockwise... Here's more trying...

And now I'm going to read your whole post..

[ming]

I don't see it as an optical illusion. the program is made to rotate left and right every so often. That's all folks.

[Blueskied]

Originally Posted by ming

I don't see it as an optical illusion. the program is made to rotate left and right every so often. That's all folks.

That's what i considered first,too. But try watching with a few people. Some will see this direction, others the other direction.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by ming

I don't see it as an optical illusion. the program is made to rotate left and right every so often. That's all folks.

Too funny! Like the guy who told me I'm a dolt, you are so at the effect of the illusion that you aren't (yet) experiencing your own power! And so you tell yourself, "Look, Self, that's all folks. That's all there is -- that's the way it is! You are fooling yourself if you believe you have the power to change it!"

Ming, that is so completely perfect that you see that and say that. And I assure you, from one aspect to another, that you and I do indeed have the power to "reverse the direction of the spinning." I am now able to reverse it on a dime, at my will, and you can, too. (One trick: cover her from the knees up; it's easier to see that way.) Once you can do it, it's fun to "let" her spin one way 5 times, then the other way, and then "make" her go back and forth from one side to the other like a Rockette, without actually completing a "spin." Power is a pretty toy!

When you are able to be the source of her spinning, perhaps you'll be closer to seeing the Bigger Picture of what I was talking about.... that You are the source of everything!

[Acting Like Godot]

You may wish to see the comment section of this blog, where many people have attempted to analyse this particular illusion.

Mr Wang Says So: Illusions for the Weekend

Some readers had used animation editors to "break down" the illusion;

other readers developed the ability, with practice, to make the ballerina change direction at will, at any time;

some suggest methods such as partially covering the illusion with a piece of cardboard, thereby focusing on just one part of the ballerina's body at a time;

others have gotten two people to observe the illusion at the same time, and simultaneously say what they are observing.

Etc etc etc.

[ming]

I am converted now! In this page we can see the 36 gif frames she is made of and play them one by one at will. In slow motion it can be seen that when she pull up one of the legs, the silhouette is the same for both left and right leg. Interesting.
http://www.michaelbach.de/ot/sze_silhouette/index.html

[dancer]

Angela,

It has taken me a while to digest your post. I feel elation for you, but do not have the language to express it.

Yesterday, I tried your perspective on for size. I was kind of feeling it, but there was a whole lot of resistance. My resistance felt similar to finding out there is no Santa Claus, but in reversal. I've concluded this is not something you can think your way into. I'm not sure it comes with instructions, either. It feels like it requires a radical letting go and I'm not there, yet. I don't feel an urge to push through it, either. I sense when it happens it will be spontaneous. It is like my ecstasy experience, gratitude lead me through the portal, but I'm unsure of what lead me to the portal. Perhaps, you or others who have made the shift can disagree or comment?

My forum name also flips me out, sometimes. I chose it after spending a lot of time in nature and observing how nature dances. I felt my journey was to be that dance. When I joined here, 'Dancer' was an apt name and along my journey I get nudges from different sources that it is perfect.

Thank you for sharing your experience and I look forward to hearing more about your journey.

Love

[Love]

Yes... I got it. Thanks for the exercise Angela.
I follow the foot and then imagine where I want it to go, and then I see it that way.

Nice.

Cheers,
Sarie

[Angela]

Thanks, Dancer... and thanks for not getting all hung up on the ballerina. She's just a metaphor for the perspective shift. I think I should have done a separate thread about her!

So. I mentioned that Danger Man dropped off a book, "Breaking Loose from the Money Game" -- he hadn't read the book, a friend gave it to him and he passed it on to me for first read. It is so aligned with what I've been talking about, that it gives me a bit of the shivers. How did this book come into my hands at exactly that moment, when I'm struggling to put into words this wordless feeling I've got? This is one of the most profound "coincidences" (manifestations, creations, whatever you want to call it!) I've experienced in my young life. It has made me recognize that I'm a Sorceress.

What I have been calling the Me/You Consciousness, the consciousness in which you and I are aspects, the author, Robert Scheinfeld, calls "The Expanded Self." I like that very much. What I was thinking of as the little spaceships of power are just like the "eggs" Scheinfeld is talking about -- the cornerstones of the illusionary hologram we call physical reality -- the building blocks of belief, power, judgement, consequences that result in our believing the illusion of our own creation. He describes a process for reclaiming the power, which I have tried and so far, each time has been spectacular. It feels really, really good. This "shift" I experienced this week sounds exactly what he calls leaping into Phase II of the Human Game. I am quite amazed, actually.

Has anyone read this book? Has anyone leapt into "Phase II of the Human Game?" I would love to meet and talk to others who are reclaiming power!

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Love

Yes... I got it. Thanks for the exercise Angela.
I follow the foot and then imagine where I want it to go, and then I see it that way.

Nice.

Cheers,
Sarie

That's great! Now, what if you were to use that power to deliberately change your perspective of everything in your physical reality? What if you were to see that, like the ballerina, you are creating everything you see and how you see it?

[Plato]

That ballerina thing is cool. When I first looked at it, it was spinning anti-clockwise. The moment I started trying to think what it was all about it changed direction and didn't shift back til I stopped thinking about it.

Another weird thing- I hadn't read your thread til now Angela but the day after you wrote this I had a very similar realisation and started a thread referring to the matrix too... that is bizarre.

[Angela]

Plato.... I was just reading your matrix thread and getting ready to send you a message when I saw that you had replied to this thread. Amazing. Hmmm. I don't know what to say. But I'm very glad to 'see' you. (be you? )

[uberinquisitive]

Hey Angela,

I'm in a similar place as you, in that I'm in the beginnings of a huge paradigm shift.

I will say this though - old thoughts and habits die hard. I have good days, then bad days. I have amazing moments, and then old pain comes rushing back in. Of course, there is an awareness: "I am not my pain." And yet it's hard to let go of the old addiction to drama. My ego is very strong and I have a very dense pain body, it seems.

If you also go through this sort of growing pains, I'd like to hear your experiences.

[Angela]

Uberinquisitive, I'm going though my day looking forward to discomfort, because within each discomfort there is so much power to be reclaimed! I've been having so much fun these last couple of days, reclaiming all this bountiful power. Expanding, expanding, expanding. There's no such thing as a "good day" or a "bad day." It's just all expanding.

{{{{oh, good heavens, I just have to interrupt myself for a second, because there are policemen on horseback outside my window on the beach! How beautiful! I've never seen that before.}}}} and now back to our program.

So, judging something "good" or "bad" only helps you to convince yourself that it is real. The more judgement you add, the more real the illusion appears! But none of it is real -- you made it all up. You are the Ultimate Power, you create it all, the power is all yours. If you reclaim the power, the illusion collapses, and you see how all the "drama" is YOU, creating!

I've been experiencing this so much -- with emotional discomfort and also with physical discomfort like a crick in my neck, menstrual cramps, and even having to go to the bathroom while on a long walk. I'll tell you what, I have really been feeling like a Sorceress as I transform having to pee into Power! Everything is making me laugh lately, and it seems like every person I encounter is supporting me in a huge way. People seem to be responding to me differently, too. I don't know why. Fortunately it has all been very enjoyable and sweet.

If they put me in the loony bin, I hope there is Wi-Fi so I can keep you posted on how I'm reclaiming my power in there!

Gonna go say hello to the horses now.

[vapourmile]

Originally Posted by Angela

"In order to experience growth, your only option was to assume a perspective that distanced you from the awareness that you are pure consciousness, so you could enjoy the process of finding your way back to perfection."
-- Steve Pavlina

In the last week or so, I have experienced a profound shift in my perspective of reality -- I don't think my life will ever be the same. I've been feeling like a little newborn infant, without the language to describe what I've been going through, and I thought I'd share it with you.

I've read Steve's descriptions of subjective reality and all the objections people have to it, all without too much interest -- I was thinking of it merely as a tool that Steve uses in navigating his life, not The Truth. And I may never know what The Truth is, except that I have become one with an inner truth that feels so essentially true to me, that has snapped into my grid so satisfyingly, that it doesn't feel like a mere tool. It feels like rebirth -- it feels like the beginning of something like a new world.

Although I don't know that it's the only option, as Steve says in the quote above, I am finding my way back to my own perfection, and I am seeing the brilliant, creative ways that I have "distanced myself from the awareness that I am pure consciousness" .... as a sort of gift to my Angela self, from my Essential, Consciousness self, and it feels like a miracle to be seeing this. I've kind of "known" that we create our reality since I was a teenager, but only now am I really experiencing what it is to give myself the gift of this .... what is it... new era of creation. I have been calling it (I have been calling ME): The Infinite Power in the Universe, because I don't know the right word to go beyond that much reflection.

Have you seen the spinning ballerina optical illusion? I had seen this before, looked and looked, and it kept spinning in one direction, and occasionally reversing, seemingly out of my power to direct it. This morning I remembered to look at it again, because it's a perfect metaphor for this shift in perspective that I had a few days ago. Suddenly, I realize there is no ballerina, and there is no spinning! (that whole "there is no spoon" thing becoming real for me). One commenter said, "you dolts! it's the program that's spinning it, not your mind!" and I thought, oh yeah, you dolt Angela! you have been tricked! But then I looked again, and now I am able to reverse the direction of the ballerina's spin at my will. And it's hard for me to remember what it was like to be at the effect of this illusion, rather than recognizing that I am the source in the illusion! How funny!

That ballerina is my perfect little illusion within an illusion. The Power that has always been and will always be me (consciousness) is able to reverse any illusion, and it's all illusion -- illusion created by me (consciousness)! How incredible, how fun. Now there are holes in traditional reality, showing up all over the place -- like the little deja vu cat in The Matrix, making me laugh! And I realize (realize! ha!) I am creating it all, and I can keep creating what I have been creating, or I can create a whole new game with entirely new rules, which is really inspiring me, and also it is a little .... ack! BIG!!

I think that my website, feelgoodonpurpose.com, will be a reflection, a projection in my new game. I am completely rethinking it at this point, because what I was intending before now seems like small potatoes to me, and I want to play bigger. Now that I know I cannot fail (you know that question, "what would you do if you knew you could not fail"? That is a great question, and real for me in a way it never was before!), I am speculating a lot, dancing with my new perspective. And of course, that commenter who thought I was a dolt is an aspect of me, and I find my perspective shifting to that aspect of myself, and back to Infinite Power, and back again! Haha! And I have a feeling I will receive comments from other aspects of myself that will have me experiencing shifting and re-shifting, as I recognize all these aspects of myself (consciousness) in you (consciousness).

I can see why what I'm experiencing might look like some sort of megalomania or utter selfishness, and seeing that -- itself causes me to shift! This is just like riding the most exciting carnival ride ever! And it is so much fun to see that it's me, the infinite power in the universe, which of course includes you, the infinite power in the universe, creating it all.

I feel more connected and powerful and loving than I've ever felt. Please don't call the men in the little white coats!

My friend, Dancer (Dancer! Isn't that funny?!?) described today a shift of her own perspective as seeming like being on Ecstasy, and I totally get it -- it's like swinging around to see that there is nothing in the universe that does not support me in who I am. What a feeling! Ecstasy is a good word for that!

I realize this is disjointed and awkwardly put -- and I am just reborn, just a baby at learning how to express this new Me (and You) Consciousness (I have got to come up with a good acronym for that! )

How funny, one more thing. Just as I finished typing this post, Danger Man stopped by and left me a book called, "Busting Loose from the Money Game" and the subtitle is: "Mind-Blowing Strategies for Changing the Rules of a Game You Can't Win." How about that? And it says: "It completely shifts your paradigm for life." Money and abundance seems like a great place for me to have a paradigm shift, now that I've quit my job.

Another paradigm shift in store for me!? What kind of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride am I on?

Delusion is the belief you need to "grow" before you can get the things you want.

Children are born doing exactly what they need to be happy, then eventually their parents, assisted by other fictions, teach them not to.

[vapourmile]

Originally Posted by Angela

what I'm experiencing might look like some sort of megalomania or utter selfishness

Nope, it's how you're behaving: Paradigm shmaradigm.

[vapourmile]

I am the leader of the new world era and you will be a good footsoldier, once you have rid yourself of those megalomaniac urges, such as the ones expressed in that despicable email message you sent me.

[Angela]

Vapourmile, I haven't sent you any email messages at all. I looked back at my pm's to you, and I couldn't find anything despicable in them. Perhaps you are upset because you asked me to phone you, and I declined? Please let me know what has got you riled up, or if you don't feel free to tell me directly, you can report a post or a pm to another moderator or administrator. (I think you would have to cut and paste to do that for a pm.)

It's funny, after I posted about worrying about being seen as megalomaniacal or getting carried off by the men in little white coats, I realized that my discomfort would be mirrored by "others." D'oh! Mirroring is showing up very powerfully in my "life" these days! I appreciate your being my mirror, Vapourmile; thank you.

p.s...I deleted your duplicate post, by the way.

[vapourmile]

Who knows the child who never succumbed to parental misalignment?


That's you.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by vapourmile

Who knows the child who never succumbed to parental misalignment?
That's you.

I am the child who never succumbed to parental misalignment?

I never thought of myself that way, but you may be right!

[vapourmile]

Originally Posted by Angela

Vapourmile, I haven't sent you any email messages at all. I looked back at my pm's to you, and I couldn't find anything despicable in them. Perhaps you are upset because you asked me to phone you, and I declined? Please let me know what has got you riled up, or if you don't feel free to tell me directly, you can report a post or a pm to another moderator or administrator. (I think you would have to cut and paste to do that for a pm.)

It's funny, after I posted about worrying about being seen as megalomaniacal or getting carried off by the men in little white coats, I realized that my discomfort would be mirrored by "others." D'oh! Mirroring is showing up very powerfully in my "life" these days! I appreciate your being my mirror, Vapourmile; thank you.

p.s...I deleted your duplicate post, by the way.

Why? Because you had to? Police the world? Somebody already has that job, unless you had very much forgotten. It must be something to do with those megalomaniac urges you conspicuously claim to shun.

Despotic and presumptuous. Some new world candidate you are. It wasn't a duplicate post, it was a perfectly rational succession to the one that preceded it. I left it there because that is just how I wanted it to appear. What makes you think you're appropriate to make decisions on what I do? I should extend my ethical strictures no further than myself if I were you.

[vapourmile]

Originally Posted by Angela

I am the child who never succumbed to parental misalignment?

I never thought of myself that way, but you may be right!

Yes, but the question is, do you know that child?

Just to satisfy my own curiosity (killed the cat) what did your parents do for a living? Did your dad have anything eccentric he pursued in his free time? (Don't forget the question above)

[Angela]

Originally Posted by vapourmile

Yes, but the question is, do you know that child?

Intimately!

Just to satisfy my own curiosity (killed the cat) what did your parents do for a living? Did your dad have anything eccentric he pursued in his free time?

They were despots. Dad killed cats in his free time.

[vapourmile]

You're a liar.

[mercuryrising]

Originally Posted by Angela

"In order to experience growth, your only option was to assume a perspective that distanced you from the awareness that you are pure consciousness, so you could enjoy the process of finding your way back to perfection."
-- Steve Pavlina

"I realized that this moment is already perfect. I am here to discover how."
-- my dad

That ballerina is my perfect little illusion within an illusion. The Power that has always been and will always be me (consciousness) is able to reverse any illusion, and it's all illusion -- illusion created by me (consciousness)! How incredible, how fun. Now there are holes in traditional reality, showing up all over the place -- like the little deja vu cat in The Matrix, making me laugh! And I realize (realize! ha!) I am creating it all, and I can keep creating what I have been creating, or I can create a whole new game with entirely new rules, which is really inspiring me, and also it is a little .... ack! BIG!!

This is an honest question here... where is the Higher Power in this? You say it is you. Did you create me? Than what am I?

I have had similar experiences, but whenever I have concluded I am the source of it all, I became the butt of some cosmic joke. I don't always know what is best for me. And there are times where I discover that whatever I have been resisting or dislike is exactly what is best.

I had an excellent example of this recently with my career. I had a very strong idea about what I wanted to be, yet no matter how hard I tried to move in that direction, things were not working out. Another path appeared, one that had no initial interest to me and no apparent compatibility with who I am. Nonetheless, the more I followed this other path, the better my life worked. I also realized I needed to 'up-date' my self-image. This new path revealed new abilities and perspectives I was unaware of before.

My point here is that "I" didn't consciously do all of this. I wanted to do x, but y is what works. The only explanation I have is that "I" am not in control. Someone or something besides me is. That 'something' may be found within me, but it is not "me".

What do you think?

I think that my website, feelgoodonpurpose.com, will be a reflection, a projection in my new game. I am completely rethinking it at this point, because what I was intending before now seems like small potatoes to me, and I want to play bigger. Now that I know I cannot fail (you know that question, "what would you do if you knew you could not fail"? That is a great question, and real for me in a way it never was before!), I am speculating a lot, dancing with my new perspective. And of course, that commenter who thought I was a dolt is an aspect of me, and I find my perspective shifting to that aspect of myself, and back to Infinite Power, and back again! Haha! And I have a feeling I will receive comments from other aspects of myself that will have me experiencing shifting and re-shifting, as I recognize all these aspects of myself (consciousness) in you (consciousness).

Ok, that kind of explains it... guess I should read the whole post before I respond

Still: Tell me all your thoughts on God because I would really like to meet Her.

I like the opposite question, "What would you do even if you knew you would fail?"

For me, this re-phrasing neutralizes the thought "I am imperfect trying to become perfect." Instead as my father put it, "I am already perfect, how is my imperfection part of it?"

[Angela]

Originally Posted by mercuryrising

Still: Tell me all your thoughts on God because I would really like to meet Her.

Don't have any at the moment, sorry. What are yours? I do resonate with the idea of my expanded self, which guides me into the "y"'s you were speaking of.... the ones that my "Angela" self (who is the avatar in the human game) might not choose first, or would resist. The fun for "Angela" is expanding more and more into who she really is -- the infinite power in the universe. And your question was answered about yourself, right? You are the infinite power in the universe, too.

I like the opposite question, "What would you do even if you knew you would fail?"

I like that question, too. Except, there is no failure.

[Tuumble]

Originally Posted by Angela

There is no failure.

Would that mean I am successfully challenged?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Tuumble

Would that mean I am successfully challenged?

Are you successfully challenged, Tuumble? I mean, do you have a feeling around the edges that the challenges you are experiencing have the capacity to expand you into joy and peace, despite or maybe even because of the discomfort? Or do you think, "well, this is it, this is what I get, and it sucks." (p.s., I know you're just fooling around with me. ).

Both 'work', I think; however you approach challenges, it works. I don't think there is success or failure in a way that makes YOU a success or a failure.

You, personally, Tuumble, are one of my favorite avatars, because you generate things that inspire me -- love, humor, fun, joy -- regardless of your circumstances. A week ago, I might have said that makes you a "success." Now I just say: I can feel my heart and my self expanding each time I encounter you.

Vapourmile is another one of my favorites avatars, a different flavor, though. (S)he is an egg of power for me!

[wolfgang]

cool to hear of your awakening!

I like the spinning silhouette a lot. It works because (ok, it's a spoiler so I'll put some empty lines then write again)




























it works because the information about, say , the leg coming forward or going back into the plan of your computer screen is hidden by it being a silhouette. In other words, if she's going clockwise for you, your brain added information to make the leg come toward you when it's on the right side of the screen and go away from you when the leg is on the left side of the screen. Interestingly I had a brief moment of her spinning in both directions - or like there were two of her spinning in opposite directions through each other.