Insight greatly appreciated

[AllMixedUp]

I experimented with shrooms a few months ago for my first time. I'm still not quite to sure what to make of it all. Here's a taste of what I experienced...

I started seeing everything as energy to start off, I remember leaving my body at some point and also experienced rebirth. I was a child for quite some time through my experience. I went back in time, and started to pass through the different phases of my life, I would pour water on myself to grow/pass on to that next stage of my life. My perspective on life was changing each time as I went through a new phase. I also started to see things in many different perspectives and had forgiven everyone for any wrongdoing because I could have seen things in a different perspective. I remember every person that had ever influenced my life had passed before my eyes, and I just sat and cried, not tears of sorrow but tears of happiness and gratitude. I also felt that feeling of oneness with everything around me. I was a tree, a chair, the wall, everything! I remember lying on the ground and this indescribable sensation went through my body and it felt like I had died. I had experienced death. One of my friends turned into my father, and the other my grandma for a little bit during my experience as well. I questioned the fact that maybe I had been in a car accident and possibly died on the way to my friend’s house when I was coming back to this reality. The whole experience was mind blowing and the whole time I was experiencing complete bliss.

Soon after my experience, I found myself in limbo between two different realities. I’ve been doing research because I’ve been in a state of confusion, and I came across the concepts of Service To Others and Service To Self. I feel sort of stuck at this point in life and keep questioning who we are without ego. Is it my time to pick which to live by? Do I even have to choose yet? It’s killing my inner spirit at this point, and I’m keeping myself from moving on. Maybe I just don’t know who I am yet?

I've also been wondering why my friends didn't have such a high level experience as I did. We took the same amount. My friends have done shrooms numerous times and have never had that deep of an experience. Are some people just more sensitive?

[Rhythman]

Looks like you had a killer experience. Awesome!

I would offer that rather than being stuck, you have had an experience leaving you questioning reality which is exactly what you need to become unstuck.

To help you find out who you are, check out the teachings of Ramana Maharshi or Sri Nisargadatta.

Rhythman

[eblight]

Your expe is similar to that of a person I met some years back. He said it was the high point in his life. He would be around sixty now and created a life for himself of deep spiritual devotion and helping others in ways that give him immense joy and fulfillment.

[AllMixedUp]

Thanks for the responses, the experience has left me delirious!

I was practicing the law of attraction for a while too, so I'm just mixed up about so many things. What do you all think about the LoA?

Thanks again everyone

Hope you all are having a wonderful day.

[DayInTheLife]

I feel sort of stuck at this point in life and keep questioning who we are without ego. Is it my time to pick which to live by? Do I even have to choose yet? It’s killing my inner spirit at this point, and I’m keeping myself from moving on. Maybe I just don’t know who I am yet?

I am dealing with this too. Ah, what an exciting place to be! I'd say, no you don't have to choose yet; it's really difficult to eliminate the ego from your identity completely. It's quite alarming to realize that you are not your ego.

Have you read any of Eckhart Tolle's books? They deal with this phenomenon specifically.

I've also been wondering why my friends didn't have such a high level experience as I did. We took the same amount.

Some people are more sensitive than others. Potency varies as well. Did you ingest a lot of little mushrooms, or a few larger ones? Smaller ones tend to have more psilocybin per unit mass than larger ones.