Can somebody truly help??

[intuition]

I don't know what it is doing this to me...I feel like my thoughts are not my own and I also feel that there is some kind of murky cloud always over me denying me from expressing positive thoughts! could this be some kind of Karma or is it signaling that a change is needed in my life?

I would love to become balanced within my self and be in charge of my thoughts, i am sick and tired of these chains of negativity enslaving me, I truly want this to stop because I know I am a good person.....Can any body truly express insight upon my situation???? PLEASE

[Old Soul]

identify that these are not your thoughts , and that you refuse to allow them to define you or have any power to impact your day...

everytime you get these intrusive thoughts, think right back at them and say
"This is not my thought I reject this "
Then chose your own thought

[fellowtraveler]

What he (or she) said. Relax.

And if that doesn't work and it becomes too much for you, please see a doctor. I see many people on here who think they are having a purely spiritual experience (positively or negatively) when it is pretty clear there are probably problems that could be helped with modern medicine and/or cognitive therapy.

[NightMyst3]

The first thing thing (or 2) I would do is ask when is the emotions or fealings coming. What am I doing when this happens. Is it my surroundings? An object? A person?

It could be all matter of things really. Best to jot down everything going on in your surroundings.

Or simply force yourself into a 30 minute meditation one night and just see what it is your brain is trying so hard to tell you.

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by intuition

I don't know what it is doing this to me...I feel like my thoughts are not my own and I also feel that there is some kind of murky cloud always over me denying me from expressing positive thoughts! could this be some kind of Karma or is it signaling that a change is needed in my life?

Thoughts that don't feel like your own could just be your habitual brain producing thoughts and you have found a way to watch them. Like, do those thoughts make sense as something your brain is programed to have? Murky clouds - again, could be the habitual mind patterns that are outdated and on a downward spiral.

I would love to become balanced within my self and be in charge of my thoughts, i am sick and tired of these chains of negativity enslaving me, I truly want this to stop because I know I am a good person.....Can any body truly express insight upon my situation???? PLEASE

It does sound like you realize you are not your thoughts. That's supposed to be a good thing. Like we are really the aware part that can notice and watch thoughts. Use your awareness to find things to appreciate and give your brain fun things to think about instead of what might be a brain having habitual unattended unconscious downward spiral thoughts. Not sure it that fits your situation, but it's a possibility that's what is going on.

[Maguru]

My mind was driving me 'nuts' for a long time. Yabber, yabber, and I tried many ways to distract myself or focus but it wouldn't shut up. Then I realized, I am not my mind. My mind is a part of me. I began acknowledging my mind, even the negative, non-sensical thoughts. I listened as if my mind was another person. I got to know, appreciate and love my mind.
It is far more integrated with who I am now.
I would say change is your hands and the easiest way is to accept all of you. Best wishes to you.

Originally Posted by intuition

I don't know what it is doing this to me...I feel like my thoughts are not my own and I also feel that there is some kind of murky cloud always over me denying me from expressing positive thoughts! could this be some kind of Karma or is it signaling that a change is needed in my life?

I would love to become balanced within my self and be in charge of my thoughts, i am sick and tired of these chains of negativity enslaving me, I truly want this to stop because I know I am a good person.....Can any body truly express insight upon my situation???? PLEASE

[schola]

Your mind is not you. When you truly realize this, it can be very liberating!

I learned this very important point in The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. If you haven't read it yet, I recommend it.

[Jonathan Mead]

I agree with what the others have said here and truly hope you are able to find solace and peace within yourself. Remember, peace is always there, it is your mind that is denying it's surfacing. You are not your mind though, you are more than your mind, more than your body, you are the force that moves through it. It's very liberating when you realizing that you don't have to believe what anyone else says, or even belief what you say (your mind says) because it's simply a story. Nothing more.

As well as the Power of Now as schola recommended, I'd highly recommend The Voice of Knowledge and The Four Agreements, both by Don Miguel Ruiz.

May you be blessed to find the peace that is your birthright.

[infinitethoughts]

Originally Posted by intuition

I don't know what it is doing this to me...I feel like my thoughts are not my own and I also feel that there is some kind of murky cloud always over me denying me from expressing positive thoughts! could this be some kind of Karma or is it signaling that a change is needed in my life?

I would love to become balanced within my self and be in charge of my thoughts, i am sick and tired of these chains of negativity enslaving me, I truly want this to stop because I know I am a good person.....Can any body truly express insight upon my situation???? PLEASE

What I say you won't believe me, but it is how things are.

The reason for your "murky cloud" is pollution. Our brains and pollution DO NOT mix.
You won't believe me because Modern Medical Science most times never addresses this issue.

The why of this is varied.

[demk]

Spiritual knowledge is great but sometimes there is better advice to be had...

Recently i found out that I suffer from OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). It was a suprise because people naturally think it is connected to constant hand washing or something similar, but that is only the compulsions assotiated with an obsession about cleanliness. Many people suffer from negative thoughts because they don't underdtand how to intepret the thoughts that enter their minds. With OCD for example, you have an overactive part of your mind that is constantly thinking about what you don't want, precisely because you don't want it. Its like an overactive urge to avoid certain stuff. New mothers often develop OCD because they (obviously) really, really don't want to harm their baby and because of this the thought of harming their baby enters their mind. this is then interpetted or confused as a an urge or a want and an inner battle ensues with the thought whcih perpetuates it and turns it into an obsession, and then turn into compulsive ways of dealing with the thought. These compulsions arent always external, they can just be rationally trying to fight against thoughts - a battle which turns into depressive rumination.

My advice is to check out the Overcoming series which is a range of self help books based on cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). Find the psychological problem (or problems) that most relate to your style of thinking. Maybe you don't need actual therapy but the know how in these books and with CBT is amazing. Just undertsanding my OCD was enough to decrease it by about 90%.

Amazon.com: Overcoming Obsessive Thoughts: How to Gain Control of Your OCD: Christine, Ph.D. Purdon,David A. Clark: Books

Check out Byron Katie too and do some work on your thoughts about your thoughts. The Work is a continuing daily practice but it is really profound and helpful.

www.thework.com
ByronKatie.com: The Official Blog for The Work of Byron Katie

Remember that there are no easy answers. Daily practice is a must. You have to work at it to change the state of your mind but it is achiavable and well, well worth it. keep searching because you will get there. Don't run before you can walk with the spiritual stuff. Just take your thoughts one at a time and question them.

I used to regurlaly have the black cloud too bt i worked through it. I did lots of meditation too. I recommend a grounded practice. Check out Jack Kornfield. Get a torrent with that one if you can't afford it.