It finally hit me ...

[Notmyself]

It finally hit me the other day. I was at lunch. When I don’t go swimming or to the gym during lunch, I usually go find a quiet place on campus and sit and relax. More often than not, I start out meditating, then I drift into a very light sleep. Usually, I’m perfectly aware that I’m sleeping, and it is no problem to wake up when I have used my allotted time alone and must get back to work. Sleeping is not an uncommon site at a university library!
Anyway, I have been struggling with how my perceptions of otherwise innocent events often makes me obsess that I have done somehow done something to make someone else upset, angry, not like me anymore, etc. I often worry that my friends will grow tired of me and will not want me as a friend anymore. Do I have any rational explanation for feeling this way? No. Do I still worry about it? Of course!
I know I have self-confidence issues anyway, but I also seem to be really worried about what people think of me. I have a strong desire to be liked, as most of us do. I also worry constantly that I might have said the wrong thing, done the wrong thing, not done something, or that so-and-so is upset with me. I then go through this scenario time and again, often to the point of sending the person an email to make sure they are okay. Usually, they write back and ask what the hell I’m talking about.
Anyway, after going through this quite often recently, I’ve grown tired of worrying. I have long been a proponent of being in the present moment and of paying close attention to what my mind is up to. If you can step back and watch your mind, you can often see patterns of behavior. Once you realize what you are doing, you can practice stopping it.
So, I’m sitting at lunch, very relaxed and watching my mind. It suddenly came to me that I don’t have to feel this way anymore. We are not our thoughts –- I know that -- and it finally dawned on me that this problem is a creation of my ego. My ego likes to think the world revolves around it. It likes to think that other people are sitting around thinking about what I said to them three days ago, and that this is somehow bothering them and making them not like me anymore.
How ridiculous! Now, I knew this all before, but I was still having trouble from obsessing over it lately. Once this concept hit me, in the midst of my mini-meditation, it was like a weight had been lifted from me. I felt calm and peaceful, like the universe had decided that I had finally passed this test and it was time to move on to the next one.
I hope that is the case. Rest assured, I will continue watching my mind and trying to keep my ego in check. The next test is no doubt coming soon!

[Alex2007]

You are emotionally attached with objects. When I say objects, I mean, Friends, Girlfriends, Situations, Studies and what so ever. You beleive that you can not do without these objects and these objects become your assets. You are afraid of losing them.

But beleive me, don't pay attention to them.

"What you insist, persists"

Be emotionally free from anybody. You don't need them. Your inner peace doesn't depend on them and you can live a happy life without them. It is true.

ALex

[dorothy hanna]

The saying is, "What you resist persists".

[Andrew Brunelle]

I have to tell you I had a similar experience. I am a college student and I just lost my flash drive. IT could be anywhere in Myrtle Beach, I don't know. IT has all my college assignments on it that I have completed. In a way, from a holistic perspective, it is kind of funny now thinking back on how dependent I became on such a small device.

Anyway, you are wasting your time thinking about what other people are thinking of you. And you don't have to do everything that is expected of you. That is just your ego chattering. Just allow yourself to be. Broaden your perspective. Allow for new opportunities to open up. Good luck.

[Liara Covert]

Rather than focusing on what you sense you've lost, it makes sense to create images in your mind of what you have and what you're about to find. The more you focus on the negative, the more you'll get more of the same.

[Notmyself]

Thanks everyone. I am glad I'm finally aware of the problem and am moving forward. It's so easy to try and be liked, rather than just liking yourself and not worrying about it. I'm a worrier by nature, and I'm trying to change that. Meditation has helped immensely, as has trying to just be in the present all of the time. Easier said than done, as you all know.