Darkworker at heart. Lightworker at heart.

[Akashic_Librarian]

I don't know how to describe this eloquently, so I will just get to the bare bone of it...

One part of me is telling me that a Darkworker pathway is the way to go, at first I thought it was my ego, but its not that. There is nothing fear-driven about it. It just feels right.

Paradoxically, another part of me is telling me that Lightworking is the right way to go. That too feels right.

I don't know what to do. Honest to goodness I am lost. I havn't got a clue, I just oscillate between the two polarities, and thats not good!

Each one holds such sweet promise to me. Each one shows me a destiny I find irresistable.

Do I just have to pick one? Or is there something else going on here I have to conquer.

[Steve Pavlina]

That's the challenge of polarization in a nutshell.

If each polarity seems to be leading you in different directions, I'd spend time exploring that, such as by journaling about it. What do you think each path will be like? Where will it take you? Where will you end up? What kind of experiences will you have?

The polarization question is helping you recognize that your energy is currently divided against itself. Just reaching that point is significant. Fo now it's perfectly fine to explore both paths a little, especially if you can get a conscious sense of which polarity you're using at any given time. Are you allowing energy to flow through you, or are you trying to pull it into you? You may need to do a lot of back and forth before figuring out which polarity resonates most with you. I had to do this for years before I could figure it out.

This is a situation where a temporary trial of each polarity can prove very enlightening. Consider doing just one week on each side to the best of your ability, and see how it feels to you. Does a clear preference emerge?

[Nelson]

In Steve's book I'm sure I'd be considered a highly polarized darkworker.

I prefer the term egoist, but whatever's clever, right?

I believe that it's impossible to truly be a "selfless" lightworker. You're always serving yourself, it's a matter of how you define your happiness.

So I reccomend that you ask yourself, "What path in life is going to lead me to the most happiness?"

If you need any help or clarification feel free to message me or visit my website (it's about the virtues of selfishness)

[Steve Pavlina]

Originally Posted by Nelson

I believe that it's impossible to truly be a "selfless" lightworker. You're always serving yourself, it's a matter of how you define your happiness.

What you're missing is that lightworkers have a different way of defining self. You can argue that a lightworker is still inherently self-serving, which would be true, but the definition of self is expanded to encompass all things, so this is not remotely the same kind of self-serving as you might otherwise expect. To a lightworker, being self-serving means serving the whole planet, not so much because the planet's health is important to the lightworker as an individual, but rather because the lightworker's sense of self includes the whole planet.

A lightworker would see a darkworker's definition of self as too limiting, like a human being that believes s/he is nothing but a fingernail and wants to serve the interests of that fingernail above all else. A darkworker would argue that a lightworker is inherently self-serving because a lightworker will still do what's best for the fingernail. A lightworker would say, "That's sorta true, but I see myself as much more than a fingernail, so the fingernail's interests are served because it's going along for the ride."

For example, when I take the time to help someone privately, which I do in some fashion many times a day on average, I'm not doing it because it serves my interests as an individual or because I think there will be some kind of karmic payback or because it makes me feel good. I do it because the other person's need is my own. Helping someone is no different than tending to my own bruises. Those people ARE me. I'm simply tending to my own health, which to me is common sense.

This is how I define a lightworker, not necessarily how others would define it.

[Shindra]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

What you're missing is that lightworkers have a different way of defining self. You can argue that a lightworker is still inherently self-serving, which would be true, but the definition of self is expanded to encompass all things [...]

I find the terms of self-serving and other-serving to be empty, and far too limiting in seeing what the polarities are about and how varied their expression can be.
And what about that both darkworkers and lightworkers can believe in SR, that all is one.

I spent much of my life trying to achieve a more loving state, to be more loving, because I thought that was the way to happiness. I went towards love and compassion for my own sake - because it felt good. The love-polarity inspires giving, nurturing, caring, and creating for the sake of creativity itself, and such seems to be very much about others. But one can be aligned with love when there's noone else around. One can decide to sit in a cave and meditate to reach more peaceful and loving states. There can be love-energy behind creating things with no thought to how they will be received by others, just for the sake of creative expression, while there is also love-energy behind the intention to create something in order to share it with others. Love can be expressed in selfless giving, such as charity, but some acts that might be perceived as selfish can also be about love.
And on the other, Dark side, just as greed can be expressed in the desire for brilliant, luxurious things, such as a great house or car, it can also be expressed in the desire for brilliant, great people (which I personally experienced after I began to explore the polarities). It can be the desire for the great ideas those people will come up with, the discoveries the intelligent and well-trained can make. Greed for human potential. Or to have strong people on your side. Or just a general greedy desire to see and surround yourself with greatness. The Dark energetic polarity can certainly be applied positively to other people - it's like seeing great potential in everybody.

In many of the people people who don't know that there are these two energetic polarities, there seems to be the idea among those who are more lightwork/love-aligned that love is the only way to joy, and among many of the dark-aligned that everybody is basically selfish all the time. Neither of these are true.
Though I do agree with Nelson that the choice of polarity is going to be a selfish choice - what do you want to experience. Both love, and greed and power, are brilliant. Akashic_Librarian, if both seem equally good to you, you might just flip a coin - or you can spend some time analyzing and exploring the polarities until you find something tips the scale.

[Rose of Cairo]

AL, I find it very suspenseful to wait for your decision!

Maybe try 30days dw then 30days lw and see how you feel? and let us know!!!

[Johnny5]

Hi there,
Why would you want to live your life within the labels that created by some writer that say "lightworker or darkworker"?

You should raise yourself above the labels and do what your heart and intention desire to do. And you should not be selfless in whatever you're doing. You should take care of yourself first, then you do to help others.

The Buddha helped himself to become enlightenment first, ( after a request from the Brahma) before helping others to become enlightenment. "Put yourself on dry land first, before helping other out of the mud." his statement.

It is just a labeling such as low consciousness and high consciousness. If you learn and analyze about mind and matter. Every consciousness is the same level as other consciousness. they are all come through the sense doors (eyes, ears, nose, tongue, etc.) come to perception, feeling, and mental formation (end result in action).

Only the level of merits and wisdom that would distinguish each individual being from one another. All beings are at the mercy of their intention, and make mistake because of "not knowing".

What you should do is looking into your "real intention".
"Good intention" is for the welfare of yourself and others.

"Bad intention" not for the welfare of yourself and others/ not for the welfare of yourself, but for others/for welfare of yourself, but not for others.

(Good Intention) It means you do for yourself now, and do for yourself toward the future.

welfare for yourself, would mean the welfare for yourself in this life; furthermore, welfare for others would mean that you do for yourself toward future existences. (that would be in line with the reality of mind and matter).

that is my view....

Best Regards,

Johnny