Seeing other's pain

[Sarasvati]

Good morning to all. My topic regards seeing other's pain through love. I recently went through a difficult struggle, being blamed and lied about regarding a very personal situation involving my son and his new bride. In tears, being very much hurt and in pain because my son believed the lies, I sat down to open the book I'm reading, Personal Power through Awareness, by Sanaya Roman. I looked for 'that' chapter to help me through this pain, and sure enough, I found it, Handling Pain by Choosing to Grow. In this chapter, it explains why people hurt us, lie about us, lash out at us, make us wrong, even though they are conjuring up these lies, and just downright cause us a lot of pain.

As I read through my tears, I realized that I have been in similar situations in my past. "Why do they lie about me? What reason do they have to make me out to be the 'bad guy?' Why do they want to hurt me? I haven't done anything wrong to deserve this." Of course, my answer was there in front of me, on the pages of the book I was reading, through my tears (I can't leave that out).

It seems that the one bringing on the negativity has issues of fear, in various forms, depending on the individual and their live's circumstances, and they are operating out of that fear. I understand now that, even though we, as humans, want to defend ourselves in every way imaginable (we can't let our ego, and pride just fall by the wayside), this brings a huge chasm between me, and that person. This creates more of the same negative 'stuff,' something we are all aware of, and we create more pain for that individual, when what they needed, and wanted, was our love. Is this a difficult lesson, or what! One of, if not the most difficult in MY life! How on earth can I, little ol' me, love somebody like THAT? In my human existance, I cannot. So it must come from my spiritual self, the real me.

I look forward to all of your comments on my post, and some great discussions regarding this topic. The classroom of the spirit is most difficult for us simple humans, which is why we must operate in the spirit of love, not an easy task! But as I grow in higher consciousness and love, my hope is that so will you. Help me grow, will ya!

[Sarasvati]

I see many of you have viewed this, but nobody replied. I'm curious as to why not.

[Sarasvati]

Okay, well thankyou everyone for all of your replies. You have helped me tremendously, and I appreciate all of your thoughts on this.

Peace!

[Maguru]

I've only just read your post, bless you. I've been there too. My son too. Being the 'baddie' is no fun, is it? However, I learned a lot about myself and others. There is a lot of fear based behaviour but the trick is not to make up their stories for them. We put two and two together and get five. We personalize their behaviour when in reality, it is their behaviour and nothing to do with us.
All we can know for sure is how we feel and how we think. The fact that you have been in similar situations shows you are co-creating from your thoughts and your feelings. This is where your pain lies within yourself. I know how hard it is to detach from thinking about them and claim our own responsibility in this.
However, it is worth the discomfort because it brings a change of mind and a change of heart, which is so much better. You cannot change them. You can only change yourself and taking responsibility for your own emotions is the greatest gift you can give your son.
I hope this helps and it is not an easy road you have chosen, but I feel you have the strength and willingness to know and grow. Trust that you are not alone. I know many are growing from their suffering. Give your own suffering the value it deserves. How else would you know who you are and what you are capable of?
Be yourself. Do not force yourself to love someone when you clearly do not. I do not expect everyone to love me, so why have double standards? Others will lie to you when you lie to yourself, so just be true to yourself. It is your story now. You can take control and stop these repeated patterns and there will be no stopping you then.

Originally Posted by Sarasvati

Good morning to all. My topic regards seeing other's pain through love. I recently went through a difficult struggle, being blamed and lied about regarding a very personal situation involving my son and his new bride. In tears, being very much hurt and in pain because my son believed the lies, I sat down to open the book I'm reading, Personal Power through Awareness, by Sanaya Roman. I looked for 'that' chapter to help me through this pain, and sure enough, I found it, Handling Pain by Choosing to Grow. In this chapter, it explains why people hurt us, lie about us, lash out at us, make us wrong, even though they are conjuring up these lies, and just downright cause us a lot of pain.

As I read through my tears, I realized that I have been in similar situations in my past. "Why do they lie about me? What reason do they have to make me out to be the 'bad guy?' Why do they want to hurt me? I haven't done anything wrong to deserve this." Of course, my answer was there in front of me, on the pages of the book I was reading, through my tears (I can't leave that out).

It seems that the one bringing on the negativity has issues of fear, in various forms, depending on the individual and their live's circumstances, and they are operating out of that fear. I understand now that, even though we, as humans, want to defend ourselves in every way imaginable (we can't let our ego, and pride just fall by the wayside), this brings a huge chasm between me, and that person. This creates more of the same negative 'stuff,' something we are all aware of, and we create more pain for that individual, when what they needed, and wanted, was our love. Is this a difficult lesson, or what! One of, if not the most difficult in MY life! How on earth can I, little ol' me, love somebody like THAT? In my human existance, I cannot. So it must come from my spiritual self, the real me.

I look forward to all of your comments on my post, and some great discussions regarding this topic. The classroom of the spirit is most difficult for us simple humans, which is why we must operate in the spirit of love, not an easy task! But as I grow in higher consciousness and love, my hope is that so will you. Help me grow, will ya!

[Sarasvati]

Maguru, TY! Yes, I do realize this is what's happening; reflections of me! It's not always clear, but it's the only way to reach a 'Higher Self!'.

As far as for loving the unlovable, in my human ego, NO WAY! But, as I grow, the real me says, 'Yes way'!. In my discomfort, is where I learn! Yes, these lessons are difficult, but it's a must in the classroom of Spiritual learning, and what I am willing to go through to get to that wonderful place of peace, and of real love.

Again, TY for your reply!

Peace!