Ever since I was young...

[A GROWING MIND]

Ever since I was young I always knew that there was something more to everything then most people thought. I had no idea what my feelings meant or why I ever had them. To tell you the truth I thought there was something wrong with me for a while because I could not figure out why I was having these strong feelings. Now as I am growing older, I believe that I am finally starting to figure out what my feelings where trying to tell me. So I guess my first introduction into the spiritual world was when I was very young, but of course at the time I had no idea about anything LOL. Have any of you had the same type of experience or feelings at a very young age?

[Terumoto]

Yeah, when I was very young. Then I was educated and disciplined, shaped like clay into a proper human being, and held in place by fear and misunderstanding. They musn't have a done a very good job, because now I'm falling apart and oozing all over the place.

[jippykid]

It's unfortunate that our current social climate encourages parents to cultivate children to become standard, productive citizens. We're taught to do well in school, follow the rules, and listen to people in authority because they obviously know more than we do, but rarely do we learn why we need to do these things. In truth, nobody knows what's good for you, except you. Well-intentioned parents educate us in a way that keeps us from inquiring for ourselves, which I believe is the most effective way to learn anything.

Of course I'm generalizing here, and drawing from my own upbringing. It wasn't until recently that I began to question what I was fed. I don't lay blame on my parents, the church, or any of the schools I attended. They were as much a victim of the system we're all born into, as I was. Now that I'm able to look back at those experiences with a broader perspective, I can incorporate ideas and concepts consciously into my life.

Some of what I was taught has proved to provide immense value to me as I navigate through life. For example, I was always required to treat people with kindness and respect. Growing up in a small town, I learned this not only from my parents, but from my tight knit communities at school and church as well. This is a value that I still hold today. The difference now is that I'm consciously choosing to treat people with respect, not simply doing it out of obligation. Conversely, I was taught that Jesus died for me, and that I needed his forgiveness to go to heaven. While the affiliation with the Christian church may have brought a semblance of peace into my life, it was keeping me from making conscious decisions about my actions. With my broader view today, this belief system makes no sense to me, and I've therefore abandoned it for a more rational approach to spirituality.

Now I make conscious decisions about how to live my life, and how I identify myself. I recognize that I am not the labels I'm given by our culture (husband, executive, american, man, christian, etc) I just am.

[ppedersen]

Intriguing question. I could only best answer this to say that I am positive that what you felt was true, was most likely in fact true. I wouldn't doubt your assumptions, even if later someone tried to find fault in them and suppress them. Perhaps you have a sense of knowingness but no clear idea where it comes from. Is that right?