What are some ways to be more social and have a positive attitude?

[coLLege kid07]

Hi I'm 18 years old and I'm in dire need of change. Day after day I sit down and wallow in my problems, and fail to take any actions. I spend most of the day thinking of what I should do to change...while in the meantime running the same patterns and getting back into old habits. I wish to begin the change right now!! My question is what are some ways that I could be more social and positive right now (ex. get a job ect.)?

[alexinspire]

I think you are thinking too much. Sorry to say that. But have you heard about the term "People never change".

People can expand, improve but can't change. So, don't change yourself. If you change, you are not you. But you can expand on yourself:

1. Start on seeking your direction of life. Find a direction or a dream for yourself. People who have a direction and dreams are people who are the most grounded, attractive and living powerfully. They are mostly leaders of the group.

2. Start to keep all of your promise. You need to practice keeping all your promise. It helps you in discipline, study, work, success and relationships with people. A person without keeping their promise are just not reliable.
People just can't count on them and don't like them.

3. Learn to be attractive. You can learn it here Attractive tips.

Cheers and good luck! Don't worry and nothing to change! Be yourself.

[JimOfferman]

Great tips from alexinspire, although I have to disagree with this bit:

Originally Posted by alexinspire

...but can't change

I feel the "people can't change" view of things is very narrow minded and simply not true. People don't change is little more than an excuse to avoid taking responsibility for your life and change the things that (you feel) need changing. Truth is that people do change over time.

I for one have changed quite a bit in the ten years that separate me from my 18th birthday. Back then I too had a tendency to wallow in my problems. Not always, but I certainly had those moods - so I can relate to how you're feeling, coLLege kid07.

Fortunately, I can also tell you that your tendency to wallow will diminish as you grow older and more experienced in life. For me, an important catalyst to that end was my conscious decision to have a positive outlook on the world. I grew so tired of always assuming the worst of every situation, that I decided to simply stop doing that. I'm still reaping the benefits of that one decision!

Good luck,
Jim.

[openeyes]

You already mentioned getting a job. Another is to volunteer. I enjoy working with my hands so Habitat for Humanity works for me.

[Boreas]

Originally Posted by JimOfferman

Fortunately, I can also tell you that your tendency to wallow will diminish as you grow older and more experienced in life. For me, an important catalyst to that end was my conscious decision to have a positive outlook on the world. I grew so tired of always assuming the worst of every situation, that I decided to simply stop doing that. I'm still reaping the benefits of that one decision!

What Jim is saying is right. The best thing you can do is just say "No" every time you get a thought that will hold you back, and won't really mean anything. The more you stop these thoughts, the less they will occur. It is a matter of practice.

You can get a job, but don't expect it to solve everything. The source of change must come from your own thoughts. Start thinking about what a positive, outgoing person, you are going to be, and it will happen no matter what you do. Believe other people are interested in what you have to say. Never dwell on regret other than to learn from it, just leave it behind.

Remember to keep practicing saying no to any negative thoughts.

[Angela]

Of course change is possible! And you can be grateful that you are willing to change -- many people go through their whole lives being resigned and inflexible. Suppleness and willingness to change are what will keep you young your entire life!

Maybe in addition to wallowing in your mudpile, you're also overwhelmed by all the possibilities that are open to you. A great place to start is to determine your values and declaring your purpose. Steve Pavlina has plenty of great articles on the big site to get you started. Once you've determined what you really want and what inspires you, you'll be drawn to take inspired action out of those values and stated purpose. Once you have an idea where you're going, you'll start to captain your own ship.

Don't worry about getting it "right." Just starting to look is a wonderful first step in sorting out the values and declarations that will lead your smack into a life you love. And those will change over time, too, most likely.

In addition to looking at what you want, start looking at what you're willing to let go of that doesn't serve you. Throw the contraband overboard.

ok, that's enough sailing metaphors for the day.