What is charisma?

[Lonewolf]

I am interested in people that have a strong sense of presence, you know, the kind that can light up a room or immediately command respect. Charisma can be used for good or evil - but where does it come from and can it be cultivated or learned?
One theory I read recently in a book by Napoleon Hill was that charisma is a type of subconscious emmanation closely related to sexual energy. Ghandi for example, took up abstinence and channelled that energy into bringing down the British Empire and freeing India. Hitler is also said to have been medically impotent and this frustration was the root of his influence.

[Adam]

Part of it can be attributed to sexuality. Most of the people described as the top influential of the last century have been described as 'oversexed' with the rest being made up of those who were either abstinent or impotent. JFK and and Churchill are prime examples of those on the promiscous side of the spectrum.

That isn't all there is to charisma, though, and having a high charisma can be learned.

The key is to overcome fear.

[ViceVirtue]

Funny you mention Hill. In his 'Your Right To Be Rich' he states that "personal magnetism" (direct synonym of charisma, in my mind) is "...an inborn trait..." the only one of the 25 traits of a pleasing personality that "cannot be cultivated, but it can be controled and directed to benefitial uses."

Hill also mentions a "reference to the sexy motion" when discussing this, though I don't quite get the link. In Think and Grow Rich, he talks about sex transmutation which is transferring sexual energy into other things as Ghandi or Hitler may have, but I don't understand what that has to do with the trait of Charisma specifically.

Anyway... just thought I'd share. I'm not sure what my own personal opinion on charisma is. Just that I wish I had more of it!

[madgeylou]

i think charisma is just being open to the moment currently unfolding, paying attention to what the person talking to you is saying, and going with it.

if your answer to life is 'yes,' then people are going to want to be around you. the 'yes' is what lights up the room, and gets other people to want to say 'yes,' too.

[RT Wolf]

Don't underestimate the power of body language. I don't recall the exact breakdown, but more than 50% of communicatoin is through body language. Charismatic people often share certain body language, including walking tall and with spine straight and using open gestures (not folding arms/legs, etc). For most people, their body language reflects how they're feeling inside, but your feelings and your body language are very closely tied. That means that if you adopt a closed poster (legs crossed, back bent and arms crossed), you'll start feeling more closed. An open, strong posture can make you feel better and more confident.

[Scott H Young]

Charisma has three parts:

1) Having a very strong, unique and interesting identity that is easily conveyed to other people with little explanation.

2) Being able to connect this identity with the identity of whoever you meet.

3) Having the excellent social skills to do this subtly and efficiently.

If you want an analogy, #1 is like having an excellent and unique product. #2 is being able to market that product to everyone in ways they understand and appreciate. #3 is appropriately using the mediums of communication to transmit this marketing.

That is charisma.

[elainevdw]

Originally Posted by Lonewolf

I am interested in people that have a strong sense of presence, you know, the kind that can light up a room or immediately command respect. Charisma can be used for good or evil - but where does it come from and can it be cultivated or learned?
One theory I read recently in a book by Napoleon Hill was that charisma is a type of subconscious emmanation closely related to sexual energy. Ghandi for example, took up abstinence and channelled that energy into bringing down the British Empire and freeing India. Hitler is also said to have been medically impotent and this frustration was the root of his influence.

I believe there's a certain energetic level to it, as well. You can have all the right looks, clothes, and moves but have no charisma whatsoever. What you're describing with a person immediately lighting up a room and commanding respect -- that's a reflecting of strong inner character, confidence and purpose, what new agey people would attribute to their aura.

[Dating Specialist]

I think confidence and body language speaks a lot in charisma.

Now my question is: compare charisma with X-factor?

[Shaden]

Charismatic people get noticed through confidence, assertiveness, authority and presence. They are not arrogant at all but instead are noticed because the character of strength they project is directly attributive to their own unique inner character. If someone with a weak character tries to be charismatic they would more then likely fail as people would pick up on this congruency either sub-consciously or consciously and apply it to their mental framework i.e. they would treat the person as a weaker person opposed to the strong character they are projecting.

Just build up confidence and charisma will naturally follow. If you're living your life in purpose, in a job that inspires you to fulfill your passion and you have your sense of character, your emotions, your health and your wealth under control then people can't help but feel attracted to you.

[madgeylou]

Originally Posted by Dating Specialist

I think confidence and body language speaks a lot in charisma.

Now my question is: compare charisma with X-factor?

by X-factor, do you mean someone that others want to connect with sexually/romantically?

it's very interesting ... because i would consider myself to be a pretty charismatic person -- lots of really lovely friends (real friends!), nice acquaintence, have been told i have great stage presence, etc. but in the past i have found it difficult to connect with people on a romantic/sexual level. i get a lot of "you are too much woman for me" etc. etc.

so, i dunno if personal charisma is directly connected to x-factor. it seems like most men have either wanted to be my friend, or have sex with me, but very few have been up for the (perceived) challenge of actually dating me. it's like they think they are going to drown in the madge or something.

seems kinda silly to me ... but if someone tells me that they arent up to the challenge (that challenge being me), then i pretty much have to accept that as the truth and just keep looking...

[Lonewolf]

Hi Madge,

Not sure what you mean by "too much of a woman". They could be implying that you are too dominant and therefore out of sync with the average male, or perhaps you are simply dating guys that are not on the same wavelength as you. Or maybe you are unusually attractive and that could be intimidating to men who do not feel as attractive as you.

Here is another hint - talking a lot can make you the centre of attention and therefore popular in a group of people, but men hate it one on one with a woman.

I would suggest that true charisma is something like a radio frequency - everyone around them starts to vibrate in sync.

[JJP]

The most basic thing I can boil charisma down to is that charismatic persons are able to make a lot of people feel good... whether it be by entertaining, teaching, inspiring, leading, etc. Through the way charismatic people express themselves in the world, they are able to become symbols for hope, pride, freedom, confidence or other feel-good things already inside people, therefore, people like them and desire to be around them.

One way to become more charismatic? Think of the people who you label as charismatic, and observe the traits they have, but within yourself. You really are "projecting" those qualities onto them in the first place... you just need to ask and figure out how to connect to those traits and express them yourself.

As for the sexual energy, I can see that. Charismatic people are pretty sexy sometimes, despite their physical appearances. I guess, essentially, being charismatic clearly involves a lot of risk taking and "vitality" ... which I would say are pretty related to strong sexuality, it seems, at least in men.

Anyone agree/disagree?

[Kaman]

Originally Posted by elainevdw

I believe there's a certain energetic level to it, as well. You can have all the right looks, clothes, and moves but have no charisma whatsoever. What you're describing with a person immediately lighting up a room and commanding respect -- that's a reflecting of strong inner character, confidence and purpose, what new agey people would attribute to their aura.

I have to agree with this. I believe it boils down to energy. People who have energy have charisma. They can be ugly, unsophiticated, wear ordinary clothes but you can feel that they exude something - energy.

As for developing charisma, I believe it can acheived by reducing energy wastage, like what some forumers had suggested:
abstinence - sexual acts expands energy.
living in the now, being aware - concern for self saps energy.
live a truthful life - strengthens the will which in turn draw in energy.

An easier way is to "steal" it from others by being in the center of attention - when you get attention, you get energy. That may explain why some not-so-bright politicians are quite charismatic.

[Susie]

In my experience, people who I have considered to be "charasmatic" had a way of making me feel like I was special, interesting, and that we connected with each other in a unique way, of course in truth they also connected like that with a lot of other people. They give the impression that they are fascinated by you (in a non-stalkerish way ). Because of this you just feel good in their company-- when they're around you feel like YOU have charisma.

[nietsdoen]

Charisma is a skill you can earn by standing in front of the mirror and practicing a speech.

[taylor]

Imagine a dangerous homeless crazy person who is "in his own reality." Now what if his reality happened to sync up with consensus reality just enough so you didn't think he was insane, he was just unswayed by others. He just did what he wanted. That's charisma. I think if you reference charismatic artists you'll see what I'm saying because they stick out as "in their own reality" and also charismatic because of that. They are often not well educated or even nice people, and yet they have a magnetic draw.

You set the tone for the environment rather than looking to the environment to set the tone for you. If people like your tone they gravitate towards you. If they don't, they become haters. But normal uncharismatic people look to other people to set the tone and then conform to that. People don't love or hate normal people because they aren't really creating a tone to hate or love. They're spectators, living up to other people's standards.

Charismatic people put their identity all out in the open for everyone to see. They aren't micromanaging other people's expectations to try to get approval. They do what they want and people have to react to it. When you're around them, they aren't trying to get anything from you, but are freely expressing themselves, doing what they want. Normal people often find themselves wanting to be more like charismatic people or act in ways that they think will get the charismatic person to like them.

Of course there are politicians and slick salesmen that copy all of these attitudes, and also choose a tone to perfectly match the voter/buyer's. That's really the best of both worlds for maximum sales because you're charismatic AND you closely match people's tone so there is less resistance to adopting the salesman's tone.

I'm oversimplifying but that's a lot of it.