verbal intellegence

[karlos768]

evening, afternoon, or morning all, whatever your case may be.

I come seeking advice with regards to my lack of ability to verbaly comunicate on an efficent level.

For a better explanation, I cant convey my thoughts to words very easily, you may not belive me by the way i write but, as i previously mentioned its only verbal communication i have a problem with, its not 100% of the time, just when i really want to get my point across, i seem at a loss for words, im not stupid and dont have any learning dissabilties, i mean my I.Q is 135 which makes me wonder even more about why i have these troubles, its like my thoughts are going round so quick that, sometimes, I cant put them into words and i begin uming and aring, sort of like verbal constipation to a degree, but sometimes, when i am in my so called " state of flow " i am articulate and the words just come from what seems to be no where i dont have to think about what im going to say it just " flows " effortlesly with congruency and confidence.

so what i want to know is what do you all think could be my problem and more to the point how can i overcome it and attain this state of flow that i crave so much in these times.

One more thing i have t talk really quick or i strugle to retain my train of thought, i am 20 now and reallly dont feel i should be having problems like this anymore and would realy apreciate some advice,

cheers and good day to you all, karlos

[Holistic Star]

Hi Karlos,

I think what you are discribing is fairly normal! I have a similar IQ to you and yes sometimes I can talk passionately for hours about something I am interested in, and other times I can't get the words out. Sometimes it is because it is a particular idea or thought that really matters to me and I am wary of sharing it iyswim?

Some ideas of what you could do...

I know everyone recommends EFT (EFT Provides Impressive Health and Emotional Freedom--New Discovery Often Works Where Nothing Else) for everything! The reason I think it might help is that you could use it to take any emotional charge off the issue.
You might want to consider joining a toastmasters group or debating society so that you have to work that verbal intellegence muscle.
You might want to look at what puts you in a state of flow and what takes you out of it, so that you can put yourself into a state of flow more easily when you choose to.

But whatever you do, don't beat yourself up over it. Like I said it happens!

[Brutha]

Join toastmasters.

In addition structure helps you to create a flow of thoughts.
Develop structure in your life. Don't let those clothes lie around in your room.

you may not belive me by the way i write but,

By the way you write it would be surprising if you wouldn't have that problem.

Take the time to add structure to your posts by capitalizing the beginning of your sentences.
Don't write sentences with 168 words.
Follow the rules of the English language, get a spell checker (Firefox for example).

[karlos768]

Thanks for the advice, oh and i put my poor spelling down to my dodgey wireless keyboard, .

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by karlos768

One more thing i have t talk really quick or i strugle to retain my train of thought, i am 20 now and reallly dont feel i should be having problems like this anymore and would realy apreciate some advice,

Dr. Maxwell Maltz, father of Psycho-cybernetic, teaches that, "We behave exactly how we perceive ourselves to be..." And the technique of daily affirmation tells us that, "What we repeat constantly will eventually create strong neural circuits that will be transformed into basic fundamental beliefs..."

So, what you need to do is repeat, as a mantra, "I am self-confident... I express myself very well... and I appreciate those attributes immensely..."

Sound too good to be true...??? Literally hundreds of thousands have done it with success... so, why could you not...???
.

[alexinspire]

I get your problem Karlos.

The best way to overcome is:

1. Keep practice talking!

2. When people try to correct your words, accept their advice. Sometimes it actually hurts your feeling. Just take that on and don't tell yourself "f**k! I will not talk so much anymore!".

3. Don't resign from people's criticizes. I cause lots of chaos when I speak with people. But I go on because I want to be a great speaker who make a different. Just don't resign and be stopped!

Have fun talking and have fun being with people!

[Mark Lapierre]

I have the same issue at times. For me it's a matter of familiarity, that is, being familiar with verbally articulating my thoughts on a particular matter. Even if I'm talking about something that I've written a lot about, talking is a vastly different endeavour, but it's easier the more I do it.

Practice, practice, practice. So as Brutha said, join Toastmasters. That's probably the best option for anyone trying to improve any aspect of speaking (except perhaps speech impediments, and even then it'd be good for practice, in addition to therapy).

[CoolStuff]

I have the same problem. I'm in several groups that force me to talk. I'm not very good at expressing my thoughts, even when I'm passionate about it.

Even when writing, I'm a little better, but still not much better at structuring it.

[SweetMelissa]

I've encountered this too. Often if I feel like my audience doesn't care what I have to say (or about me), I find myself searching for just the right word, stuttering slightly, and sounding kind of robotic. Now, if I am completely comfortable with the people I'm with and the subject being discussed I will rattle off any word that pops into my head, and it will actually make sense and sometimes even impress myself.

[Mark Lapierre]

Originally Posted by SweetMelissa

...I find myself searching for just the right word, stuttering slightly, and sounding kind of robotic.

I do that too sometimes, though I usually just rattle off a phrase that means the same thing. Quite often it sounds strange, but these days if that's the case I just laugh and let someone else remind me of the word I was searching for (which shows that I got the meaning across anyway)

[Peleke4]

If you want to improve your voice, purchase an audio program that deals with this. There are several programs on Amazon.com that are good @ a reasonable price. I also suggest you buy a tape recorder.

Call up a close friend and shoot the **** with him/her. Lose sight of the fact that your recording your voice. You'll use this recording to gauge how much you've improved.

For fluency, this may sound weird, but talk to yourself. When you're by yourself at home for instance, put your thoughts into words. When you're cruising to work, describe the sounds that you're hearing. Then describe what you're seeing in rich detail and what you're feeling. When you're browsing a magazine, describe the pictures you see outloud with as much detail as possible. Same with whatever television program you may be watching. Make this a habit and your fluency will surely improve to some degree.

As for voice itself, be aware of the following:

*Speak at a medium pace, not too fast and not too slow.
*Statements should end in a downward pitch while questions end in an upward pitch. A lot of people develop the habit of saying statements with an upward pitch, thus sounding unsure of themselves.
*Get rid of verbal garbage and intensifiers: "uh's" "really" some people develop the habit of using intensifers like "really" too much, when it's not even needed.

A good voice audio program covers the above in detail as well as a lot of other things to be aware of. Your voice is an extension of who you are. People really do take notice when you have a powerful voice.

[Maguru]

It's because you are focussing on getting your point across and not the point. In other words, you take your eye off the ball, clever boy. you articulated this very well.

Originally Posted by karlos768

evening, afternoon, or morning all, whatever your case may be.

I come seeking advice with regards to my lack of ability to verbaly comunicate on an efficent level.

For a better explanation, I cant convey my thoughts to words very easily, you may not belive me by the way i write but, as i previously mentioned its only verbal communication i have a problem with, its not 100% of the time, just when i really want to get my point across, i seem at a loss for words, im not stupid and dont have any learning dissabilties, i mean my I.Q is 135 which makes me wonder even more about why i have these troubles, its like my thoughts are going round so quick that, sometimes, I cant put them into words and i begin uming and aring, sort of like verbal constipation to a degree, but sometimes, when i am in my so called " state of flow " i am articulate and the words just come from what seems to be no where i dont have to think about what im going to say it just " flows " effortlesly with congruency and confidence.

so what i want to know is what do you all think could be my problem and more to the point how can i overcome it and attain this state of flow that i crave so much in these times.

One more thing i have t talk really quick or i strugle to retain my train of thought, i am 20 now and reallly dont feel i should be having problems like this anymore and would realy apreciate some advice,

cheers and good day to you all, karlos

[karlos768]

Thanks again all, I feel I have grown once more.

peace

[Tailie23]

Hi everybody,

I found this thread by a Google search for verbal constipation. I, too, find myself at a loss for words when trying to speak.

I can communicate well through writing, when I have time to think about what I am saying and I can correct it. But when I actually have to speak out loud, I stutter, mix up words, and have to pause for long periods of time. People tend to lose interest and I often can't finish a point.

It doesn't matter if its something I care about or I'm just making conversation.

The reason I am seeking help is that today I presented for a class (an optional research project for a first-year science class) and I realised how bad it was.

I think my problem is that I can't multitask. I have to figure out what phrase I am going to say, say it, then stop and think of the next one. If I try to plow on, that's when the stutters and uh's and um's come.

Does anybody have any tips on helping me multitask? Thanks alot!