Problems with Siblings.

[Jugga J]

Hello all!

Advice needed. Or Views. That would be great.

Now, everyone goes on about when they were younger about how they had arguments with their brothers/sisters. Well if that were my only problems with my sister, I would be happy with that.

I have a sister, who, to put it bluntly is a thief. On a number of occasions, she has gone into my bedroom and actually just taken money out of my wallet without asking and never returned it.

Problem is. I can't actually prove it was her, even though it quite obviously was.

For my last birthday, she gave me a whole £20 note . I was actually quite pleased. Until she took it back two days later from my wallet, went into town, and came back with some new trainers. Thing is, she doesn't seem to think it's wrong. Thats the worrying thing.

Now, I've told my parents a number of times, but when it comes to punishing her, they're just completely lame, it's starting to piss me off.

Do I: a) keep it hidden. b) Get thief detection powder, so that when she thieves off me, her hands get stained for a week.

Problem with (a) is that. Why should I have to hide/lock up my own money in my own house?

Problem with (b) is that the powder costs £40, more than is most likely to have been taken, although its very close to that amount. Also, why do I need to prove to myself it was her, when I know dam well its already her?

Cheers!

Edit: The total amount might only actually be about £30, i know its not a huge amount, but its the morality of it really. Not the amount.

[Christian223]

Hello,
what would you think if you told her something like "hey, if you want some money, i can give it to you, you just have to ask me." that way she wont need to steal.

Second, if you dont want that, try a), and you would need to do it because you have a thief in your house, or is it hers and your parents house?.

Thank God my brother doesnt do that, we have other problems, but i allways am offering him money, and whenever he wants he asks me... why not try to be more giving?.

[Jugga J]

Originally Posted by Christian223

Hello,
what would you think if you told her something like "hey, if you want some money, i can give it to you, you just have to ask me." that way she wont need to steal.

Second, if you dont want that, try a), and you would need to do it because you have a thief in your house, or is it hers and your parents house?.

Thank God my brother doesnt do that, we have other problems, but i allways am offering him money, and whenever he wants he asks me... why not try to be more giving?.

It's my parents house. Now you say it, I should offer her money. But only once she pays back the £150 she has owed me for the past 2 years

[karlos768]

hello, my ickle sis, the middle child (explains allot), used to be exactly the same, she did just grow out of it but looking back and analysing the situation my advice would be as follows:

tell her you want a chat,without sounding like to much of an authority figure, of course, try to remain calm and not instigate an argument, and just say something like........ look Im not having a go at you or anything i just want you to understand that know you steal things from me ( chances are her shame may trigger some aggression, but dont fuel it, just stay calm ), then proceed with, and i want you know it hurts me allot and makes me upset to think i cant even trust my own sister, ( perhaps allow her some time to express her emotions on the situation or to give you her side of things. then maybe finish with something like please just stop doing it your my sister your meant to love me and not steal from me, i would never steal from you.

well you get the idea, you may want to do it in your way obviously, i mean i dont know how old she is or whatever but i do beleive and hope that guilt and shame should prevail in this calm asertive confrontation.

good luck i have been in them shoes before, please let me know the outcome i may be able help more if you require

[Jugga J]

Thanks a lot for the insight Karlos. Sounds like a plan. I'll guess I try what you said.

[ZHereford]

Hi Jugga,

I think your sister needs to be called on her behaviour or she will continue to do it and if she keeps getting away with it, it will cause her serious problems down the road. She may decide why stop at a few pounds here and there. The stakes could get higher. I would try somehow to catch her red-handed and make her accountable for her actions. Better nip it in the bud now. You would be doing her a favour. You haven't mentioned how old she is, but it sounds like she should know better by now.