Relationship Manifestated- Advice would be appreciated

[MmeIntentional]

Hello All

Any advice would be appreciated on this one please.

I manifestated to have contact with my dad who I have not seen for over 5yrs. There was no way of any contact as we both moved country etc more thatn once. However found out from my sister that he had cancer (late stage) She was no longer in contact with him.....Anyway long story short ...I GOT in contact with him and we was cool for a couple of months moved again but NEVER had the intention of contacting me.

He is still alive and was never to sort of person that I would be proud to call dad. Nether the less I just wrote him a not to put closer to the matter as I may never know when and if he pops his cloggs, so to speak. He main intention was to be forgiven before he gets to the golden gate. I have to live with that every single day. It's not the fat of when he will die or not but it's the not knowing which is killing me. I do keep strong but I have the odd 2 days once a month where I crack up big time. (e.g today, I'm OK now )

The other deal is that manifestated a man in my life whhhhooooww. The description 98.9 % I would say. Got confused about the eye color that I wanted but he turned out to have a mix of brown/green. Not bad though!
Long story short we got ok but we BOTH have a phobia of getting close in a relationship/friendship. It ended up with me doing a lot of foot and leg work with this guy. He does like me for sure, I know but I had to retract just for self respect.

I'm totally devastated by all the drama and I'm trying to forget about it even if deep down I want it to workout. I felt that I done my bit and he need to do more for it to workout. Even though I spent a lot of time thinking/taking action. I'm not a muppet.

The was a gap of a week or so that we did'nt speak then it was on/off and when I backed off 100% Then I heard from him...
I gave him the message that it's all or nothing. End... but it still feels unfinished....still have feeling for him but have no intention of contacting him. Also he may not be the one that I intended as I may find someone else who fits the bill but the chances are slim.

What can I do?

Also done some EFT and detaching or and over...
Also I keep seeing this mans name pop up everywhere e.g on posters, TV. etc. all the time ... weird. I also have other interest from men but it's not the same bag.

I still have my sense of humour that keeps me going but, you know. It's a tough cookie. Also tried to look at the situation in a way..

The funny thing is I do feel that I can deal with the issue with my Dad as he is the same person and will never change now.

So any advice form anyone reading...I would be grateful for any comments good/bad or indifferent.

Thanks

[alexinspire]

I would like to request you asking yourself these few questions before you decide how you want your relationship to be:

1. Is he someone you inspired to be with?

Some people actually have a checklist of how her man will be. It's not something bad because almost all my friends who are woman share with me their list too. Man are not computer or television. You can go out the street and look for a man who fits your checklist and buy him home like a computer.

Find a person who you are inspired to be with. If he is not that person, you are going to suffer being with the person who you are not inspired. He might just be another thing like your computer that fits your list at your age. When you get older and your list change, you'll throw him to the area called "outdated items" just like the way you throw the 10 years old computer.

2. Are you fitting him in the checklist?

Having a list is better than no list. But once you choose to be with a person. Throw the list away. Maybe you have a list of 20 unique points of your man. But when he just hit 18 of it, you just accept him and try to change him to meet 20.

You are going to be the most tiring person in this relationship. No ones want to change. When you change him and thinks he should be the one that do this and that, you will be upset and unhappy.

3. Giving love is more satisfying than wanting love

When you love someone with a pure heart, it will be a very easy and satisfying relationship. If you give and asking in return, you are not a person who love. You are just a trader who trade for love.

If you love him, why don't you just love him and enjoy being with him. Accept what he didn't do for you and make a request politely that he will do for you. If he don't do that, request again and still love him whatever the answer is.

Hope you will have a wonderful love relationship and cheers!

[MmeIntentional]

Alexinspire thanks very much for finding the time to respond!

I would like to request you asking yourself these few questions before you decide how you want your relationship to be:

Yes I must admit I was unsure myself at first because of this phobia thingie. However my list didn't have any feelings of fear when I look at it.

1. Is he someone you inspired to be with?

I like the way you put your questions (I've got a massive grin on my face ) Well the funny thing is that when I first saw him I didn't think, Oh he is the man on my list or dreamboard etc. That bit came more or less at end of the day when I was sitting on the sofa with him. Still didn't think to much about it because I didn't want to read into anything.

I know it may sound a bit loose but I just wanted to some, when I saw him. For sure he IS someone that I want to be with on the outside (his looks) hit the bingo mark for me and I felt that reciprocated but we were both trying to compose ourselves, not to be so impressed with each other. But it wasn't just lust nor was it anything mind blowing, something just felt right.

On the inside I found him very shy and highly sensitive, and needed a lot of reasurance that I liked him, even if he knew that he is very attractive. (don't think he feels it deep down inside himself) I found this a turn on. This would normally make me run a mile. We also shared the same level of humour. I was able to open up to him a little also. which was good.

2. Are you fitting him in the checklist?

He came up a high 98.9 %. Well I didn't do an excel chart just a rough guess. He was a little younger than expected but what's a few years. I already knew that he had problem talking and was OK with that. (men hahaha, I know how to get then to talk without them even knowing it) I don't like the idea of people wanting to change the other person in a relationship as its fuel for disaster in my books. I know in my heart of hearts that if I was really hung up on this guy and it was not going to make me happy I would of just cut it loose from the start.

3. Giving love is more satisfying than wanting love

If anything I give too much love in general with people. I can't change that about myself but I've learnt to be a bit more picky.
I don't see myself as a love trader but I do want to be loved. (yes I do love myself to bits)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLLpL...elated&search=

I didn't want to suffocate him with it all. I accepted that what he didn't do for me and totally agree 100% in what your saying but I closed the door on him as I told him that I didn't want to feel like a muppet and was up for some fun, friendship etc. but he wasn't up for the lunch, activities thing. So with that I did tell him to poke it! I said to him so you don't want to be friends? and he said yes but that was it. We said good bye.

For me it's more about self repect. If you can't give that to yourself. Knowone will ever give it to you. He did seem a but taken back by what I said, knowing that he had pushed it a bit.

Still does not feel finished, because deep down I don't want it to be the end. That's why I think it still feels open.

The funny thing is I'm 100% sure if I just gave him only what he wanted. He will want more from me. I have a track record of this. All my ex bf's wanted me back for some heavy duty stuff.

I have noticed also since our last call on last weekend my phobia with regards to relationships has almost gone ish.

I know I attracted someone that also had a phobia with relationships, this is why I got him. I have to vibrate wisely as I feel better about things.

I will try one more thing and if it works I wil tell you, what I done.
Saying that, I'm now totally fed up with myself spending time thinking about him. It's nuts!


Cheers!

[alexinspire]

OMG! Thanks for answering so detail.

See if I get you wrongly or not. You totally give up on him and just feel there is something incomplete. You want to give it up but there is something like an unfinished business still makes you want to talk with him right?

I think I know what it is. Look at the following and be true to yourself if I am right. (because I'm the same)

You want him to thank you the love you gave and the things you have done for you but he didn't.

You want him to praise you for being so lovely(maybe), caring, understanding and supportive.

OR...

You want him to tell you that he is the fault of this relationship that cause you leaving him and he is responsible for that.

Worst case....

You want him to beg you and come back. Haha...

Consider you fall into these categories. What you want him to say is not spoke. That's why you feel incomplete or feel hanging there. It's normal!

Share with you my story. I always want my ex to come back and tell me she screwed our relationship and allow her to come back with me.

After months....

It didn't happen. So, I need to tell myself that she didn't tell or do what I want her to do and I'm free to move on to new relationships.

It's funny as a human being and also fun to live as a human being. If you still think of him, admit it. I am still thinking of her now too. But I can move on which is a good thing. hahaha...

[MmeIntentional]

Originally Posted by alexinspire

OMG! Thanks for answering so detail.

You want him to beg you and come back. Haha...

Consider you fall into these categories. What you want him to say is not spoke. That's why you feel incomplete or feel hanging there. It's normal!

Share with you my story. I always want my ex to come back and tell me she screwed our relationship and allow her to come back with me.

After months....

It didn't happen. So, I need to tell myself that she didn't tell or do what I want her to do and I'm free to move on to new relationships.

It's funny as a human being and also fun to live as a human being. If you still think of him, admit it. I am still thinking of her now too. But I can move on which is a good thing. hahaha...

Well he didn't beg but tried to make it look like I was getting something out of the situation.

I have no problems to say that I'm STILL thinking of him like crazy! However I do feel I can move on. Even if I'm still feeling like this, from day one I didn't limit myself to just him. In other words if I fancied someone else I would follow that up.

We both can see our whereabouts online etc. but I will never make the contact and I think what I last said to him nailed it in the head. So I it will be too damaging for his ego. i'm justing going to get on my the rest of my life.

I'm just working on reframing my thoughts, detaching and doing a little EFT.

Thanks for your time!