Motivations to get a girlfriend beside sex

[stayfly]

Originally Posted by songwriter

To while away the time mainly, like everything,... To socialize, to have a laugh, kind of what you say. To influence the world and being influenced... so not being isolated.

All I know is that I prefer to have them than not to have them, and I don't think there is a single cause for it.

But let me tell you, I rarely would want to spent a long time living with any of my friends. The more you stay together, the more apart you are, the more differences shows, etc. And that's kind of what a girlfriend would be... or maybe not, I'm really ignorant in this, just guessing.

(I'm a weird one, don't feel "pity" or so for me, it's the opposite of what I want, I'm very used to my state... well, I came to this web searching for "social skills" and I've learn about a lot of things but getting a girlfriend. :-)

okay, that's interesting.

a girlfriend is in some ways an extension of a friend so you can attach all the reasons for having friends to having a girlfriend too as well as a much closer level of caring, contributing and intimacy. a girlfriend is literally a partner in everything you do. when you climb the highest mountain or achieve your greatest goal you are most likely going to then look around and see who you shared that journey and experience with. If you were by yourself you would most likely feel ok but perhaps a little lonely and confused. By having a partner to share your highs and lows in life with, it makes the highs so much better and the lows so much easier.

maybe you should focus on achieving your other goals and when the time is right you may be more appreciative of women.

either way I hope you continue to grow and learn and find what you're looking for.

[XeutonMojukai]

Originally Posted by NotesMaeve

Wow! Hm. Here's the stuff I do for my sweetie:

Post coitus, I rub his wrists because he has a disease that causes joint probs. Also rub them after he drums.

In general, I am supportive of him overcoming his challenges and will put my life on hold for his problems.

He's got my constant admiration. I looove bragging about him! He's sexy, in great shape, brave, clever, and I'll talk your ear off about this if you let me. Love boosting his self-esteem too!

When he has a bad night and I'm over, I love rubbing his back until he falls asleep.

I love cooking for him.

I love that he "gets" my jokes.

We can talk Eco and Fuco.

Outside of sex, there's admiration for one other's physical form. <3

My friends would never tell me how they want to rip all my clothes off or carry me. (Squee!) My friends would never grab me and kiss me in public because they can't contain themselves. (Double squee!) It's this whole "courtship" process that makes it so great. Anyone can have sex with me. Not everyone can make me so insane.

Christian, this is the reason it's worth having a girlfriend who is more than a girlfriend...

One of my exes lives on the other side of the country from me.

We still love each other.. but we've decided that it's not likely to work out since I'm still in college and she's long been a social worker.

I wasn't there when she lost her virginity, but I trust her since telling me that she thought of me..

Even now, we talk when we can with such gusto and desire that it's hard to remember that we live 3000 miles apart...

I did an astrology reading for our relationship, and the first thing it said was that we felt like we were in a Barbera Cartland novel. Well, now that I know that they never had sex in them and were often bittersweet, I feel that this is scarily true...

We'll remember each other forever, not because we tell each other that we will, but because we share a spiritual bond that goes beyond space and time, and will be available when we are in our final resting place.

There is more than I can ever explain that is the reason for seeking a true loving girlfriend... I was only with her for a couple of months, but I could write a Bible about our relationship, simply because we transcended time so much that we've spent eternities together.

Luckily, it doesn't come just once in a lifetime. Love like that is everywhere, and is always possible.

Just don't look for it.

I met her on a dating site, but not because we found each other.

It was because I wrote a thread on the forum and she responded immediately with the same feelings as I, and invited me to have a conversation.

Well, she still tells me that I always have been irresistable to her...

I can read her mind, and she can read mine, and we've never heard each others' voices...

Don't just settle on someone to f*ck every once in a while...

Live your life and earn true love, and the more earnestly you've lived and waited, the better the universe will reward you.

I promise you this.

~ David

[songwriter]

Originally Posted by stayfly

okay, that's interesting.

a girlfriend is in some ways an extension of a friend so you can attach all the reasons for having friends to having a girlfriend too as well as a much closer level of caring, contributing and intimacy. a girlfriend is literally a partner in everything you do. when you climb the highest mountain or achieve your greatest goal you are most likely going to then look around and see who you shared that journey and experience with. If you were by yourself you would most likely feel ok but perhaps a little lonely and confused. By having a partner to share your highs and lows in life with, it makes the highs so much better and the lows so much easier.

maybe you should focus on achieving your other goals and when the time is right you may be more appreciative of women.

either way I hope you continue to grow and learn and find what you're looking for.

As I said none of my friends would be my girlfriend if they were a woman... I wouldn't like to be so many time with the same person. Maybe that's my "problem", if I feel it is a "problem". I don't feel it with woman either, of course... I mean, I wouldn't live with them... maybe is that, you know, "I haven't found The Right One", but after 29 years... maybe it's me that it's better just free without a partner.
The funny thing is that my main goal was to find a partner, not something else, at all the rest of growing is useless... or worst... because it makes me weirder... so hardly to find someone to be totally open, you know. That's why I stopped visiting this site. I might help some people (in other topics, of course ), but growing and learning makes you a freak. That's why I need someone similar to me or so... the more I'll learn the worst for getting a girlfriend.

But not trying leaves me goalless, it's the only thing I would want to achieve. So I'm better off this site again... I'll learn together with someone else. Learning alone leads to isolation.
But anyway, obviously this site is not the only way of learning.. so...
Welcome new rejections, lol...

[songwriter]

Originally Posted by XeutonMojukai

Don't just settle on someone to f*ck every once in a while...

Live your life and earn true love, and the more earnestly you've lived and waited, the better the universe will reward you.

I promise you this.

~ David

Yes, it's all or nothing for me. The big prize should be there for me somewhere, lol. After all I've waited... and keep on waiting.... thank you all for the answers.

[stayfly]

Originally Posted by songwriter

As I said none of my friends would be my girlfriend if they were a woman... I wouldn't like to be so many time with the same person. Maybe that's my "problem", if I feel it is a "problem". I don't feel it with woman either, of course... I mean, I wouldn't live with them... maybe is that, you know, "I haven't found The Right One", but after 29 years... maybe it's me that it's better just free without a partner.
The funny thing is that my main goal was to find a partner, not something else, at all the rest of growing is useless... or worst... because it makes me weirder... so hardly to find someone to be totally open, you know. That's why I stopped visiting this site. I might help some people (in other topics, of course ), but growing and learning makes you a freak. That's why I need someone similar to me or so... the more I'll learn the worst for getting a girlfriend.

But not trying leaves me goalless, it's the only thing I would want to achieve. So I'm better off this site again... I'll learn together with someone else. Learning alone leads to isolation.
But anyway, obviously this site is not the only way of learning.. so...
Welcome new rejections, lol...

that's interesting bro

I'm sensing that there may be some intimacy issues there (which is not uncommon at all and nothing to be ashamed off).

I'm digging kind of deep now but did you have a close relationship with your Mother or nah?

[songwriter]

I would prefer to stop here and going on no more but ok...
"close"... I don't know what can I call close... in the past we we're worlds apart, then we open up to each other a lot, and now we are somewhere in between.

[stayfly]

Originally Posted by songwriter

I would prefer to stop here and going on no more but ok...
"close"... I don't know what can I call close... in the past we we're worlds apart, then we open up to each other a lot, and now we are somewhere in between.

okay cool.

my best advice at this stage would be to;

1. write a 2 or 3 pages on EXACTLY what your ideal partner would be like. what she would look like, what her interests would be, what her attitude would be - everything. this should help you get specific and clear about exactly what your girlfriend will be like

2. find a friend or friend of a friend (or anyone else you come into contact with) that has a incredible relationship with their partner and learn as much as you can from them. by discovering their beliefs, attitudes and actions that create an incredible relationship, you now have all the ingredients to achieve the same

3. see a good life coach. you will get 1000% more from a dedicated life coach than you will ever get from a discussion forum.

best of luck!