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08-06-2007, 06:07 PM
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 A little advice would be appreciated. Hey, I'm going to hang out with the girl I like this Thursday. It's not really a date though. We're just hanging out as friends. =/ Anyway, I'm not really sure what exactly we should do. I've already seen a movie with her so I don't want to do the same thing twice. And I don't really know what she likes to do, and I can't really rely on her giving any preferences, seeing as that she's a girl. Normally I wouldn't stress out about something like this, but even if it's not a date I don't want to come off as boring. Does anyone have any suggestions? Thanks.      |
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08-06-2007, 06:19 PM
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| I have a great suggest. It never fails! The answer ... Go ask her! If you don't know what to do with her, just ask her what she want to do with you. But keep this in mind "Don't fit yourself to do things you don't like!" If she wants to go somewhere or do something, you agree only you are ok with it. If you agree just to please her and pretending you like that, you don't look attractive to her. So, just ask her and don't do what you don't like. That's my advice!  |
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08-06-2007, 06:40 PM
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| Hey, jsot, That's great news. First and foremost I wish you a magnificent Thursday.  Second, I'd advice you to put yourself into the state right before this "date." Listen to your favorite music. You can't possible imagine what kind of effect music can have on our mental states and moods. Are you a Paraliminal user? I'd suggest one session of Instantaneous Personal Magnetism. If you don't know what I am talking about then ignore my previous sentence. Third, just ask her if you want to. You will regret much more and complate, procrastinate if you don't actually take actually by wondering what would happen if. Take charge, be bold, confident, caring, loving and kind, sure for yourself, these are the traits that are masculine and absolutely desired by women and girls of any ages. Find your inner masculinity, brother. Even though, it is much more challenging and way better at first if you come up with ideas regarding the way how the two of you will spend those 'hanging-outs.' Eliminate negative thoughts because fear can block your mind. Then when you're with her, make that Thursday the best day she ever spent with a guy. You don't know where to go, what to do? That's no problem! Take her to places where she wasn't. Ask here, which part of this city aren't you familiar with? If she names a place that you don't know either then go and research that place while being together. Find out that district's attractions and so forth. If she names a place that you are familiar with then say, girl, you won't want to miss that place. If these aforementioned scenarios aren't resonating with you then try the following. Take her a to place where the both of you can actually sit down. Pub, restaurant, bench, sand on the beach, walk in the nature, mall, anything! Sit down and connect with her. Ask provocating and challenging questions and let her to do talking. Find more details about the two of you and share some of your passions, preferences and hobbies. Just be yourself and focus upon her. If anxities or any sort of fears may arise, just focus just only upon her. You should feel as the world around you disappears, background noises diminish and you only see her, feel her, hear her and be in a separate plane/dimension just with her. That's the ultimate connection that you can do gain to genuine rapport and everything will be natural and not forced/faked. And oh, boy, she will sense that! Trust me. Therefore, take action. Regardless what the two of you will spend that Thursday, the bottom-line is that make the best possible outcome from any situation... the rest are details. It's not about the preferences and places to visit at first... it's more about the activities that the two of you endeavor into and the things you will share, the connection you generate, and emotions the two of you will ultimately experience. Rule #1: Be charming, kind, loving but bold and masculine. Rule #2: Don't be boring, don't talk about everyday topics. Rule #3: Be genuine and make your purpose as to find out more about her, find out her visions, ideals, attitude toward life and future, etc. Be challenging and fun. Have fun-- and I mean, a lot of fun! All the best,
__________________ “Once you incorporate the millionaire's mindset, set goals, chase your dreams with a burning desire and get motivated on a daily basis, success becomes inevitable.” by me. Last edited by MadHyeNa : 08-06-2007 at 06:46 PM. |
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08-06-2007, 10:25 PM
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I'll probably try that first. But I think there is a pretty good chance she will say something like, "I don't really care, I'm fine with anything". In my limited experiance with girls that's what almost always happens. -_- |
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08-06-2007, 10:42 PM
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| Most of the guys do that. They end up used to it. It's not challenging. It's like looking for approval. If you ever want to get involved into that relationship into a deepen level other than just-being-friends, then I recommend you take action by actually offering solutions to her. Say let's do this or that. She's going to feel more compelled to pick one than being confused. Or how do you feel comfortable with visiting this or that place? Make it challenging, make it such intense that gets the vibe that: "I really won't want to miss this." Show her what is it like to be around and have fun with a man that knows what he wants from life. I could go on and on to ramble why this is important at first when a relationship is on the beginning but I'd end up pretty redundant. Anywho, have fun whatever you decide and wherever the two of you will actually go.
__________________ “Once you incorporate the millionaire's mindset, set goals, chase your dreams with a burning desire and get motivated on a daily basis, success becomes inevitable.” by me. Last edited by MadHyeNa : 08-06-2007 at 10:45 PM. |
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08-06-2007, 11:19 PM
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| Personally, I enjoy being able to really talk to someone on a date. I was endlessly fascinated when my current interest discussed drum theory. Smart guys? SEXY. Artistic guys? WAY SEXY. Kindness? I don't think I can even say how hot that is. When a guy opens a door without making a production, or compliments me in a very specific way (not, "Oh, you're beautiful," but more like, "Wow, I've never seen eyes that shade of blue green," or, "You're one of the coolest, smartest chicks I know.") Back on track: Coffee is a great way to get to know someone. Sure, it's commercial, but Starbucks in the evening is usually docile and quiet and pretty. Going to a litle pastry shop has the same effect. There's less expectation and pressure than with a meal, and somehow more indulgent and warm. A movie? Not so great for getting to know someone. |
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08-07-2007, 12:34 AM
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| Lots of women are raised to believe that it's unfeminine to have an opinion and that if they tell you what they want to do they will look pushy or selfish. I'm sure you aren't interested in encouraging those stereotypes, but by assuming that all women (or girls) are the same based on your limited experience you kinda push in that direction. So first, I agree with the rest of the posters who say ask her-- you might be surprised by what she says. And, if it turns out that you are right and she doesn't have an opinion (or any ideas) say-- hmm, I don't have any ideas yet either, could we brainstorm together to come up with something fun? It may be a bit awkward at first, but in the long run most people prefer to be treated as an individual and not just as a "girl"
__________________ Who is Lizthefair? |
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08-07-2007, 01:03 AM
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| Would you like for there to be sparks between you and this girl? If so, plan an activity that makes your heart race, your adrenaline pump, or that makes you laugh. If you get the "feel-good" chemicals pumping, it will be easy for her to associate excitement, fun, and joy with being with you. Also, in the case that you want to create a bonding vibe, I would disagree about asking her what she wants to do. Better to boldly plan and lead her into a fun adventure -- and have a back-up plan in case she's allergic to your first idea. |
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08-07-2007, 03:06 AM
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| Chuck e cheese..... anywhere you can just be a dork Let go..... and go venture where other guys won't Go dancing, to a duck pond (bring bread for birds), the beach or mountains Jsot What inspires you? make her part of you.... and you will have a friend for life (maybe more)
__________________ Legend Destination reached don't mean there's nowhere left to go... The journey is my life... NOT LOST AM I |
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08-10-2007, 05:42 AM
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__________________ www.essentiallifeskills.net |
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08-10-2007, 05:46 AM
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08-10-2007, 05:52 AM
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__________________ www.essentiallifeskills.net |
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08-10-2007, 05:58 AM
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| Boyz iz Grief Quote:
Am serious. Been woman for over two decades. Know what I am talking about here! Pretty scenery and a little activity and fun food almost always gets me in an awesome mood. |
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08-10-2007, 04:10 PM
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| Oh god, the friend trap. Allrighty then ::cracks nuckles:: Actually, knowing her since 4th grade is helping you NOT hurting you IF you know how to leverage it. The trick here is to totally challenge her picture of who you are! And, it stretches your comfort zone, which is good for growth. Win-win  Ask yourself, neutrally, how you present yourself around her: Intellectual, reserved, rebellious, deep, friendly? Once you get that down, invite her on a date that is an activity that the opposite kind of person would do. For example...if you're normally kind of intellectual, invite her on something that is more animal/athletic (I'm a fan of doing some three-wheeler off roading, followed by clubbing in that kind of situation). Of course, use common sense, and don't invite her on something you know she'll hate... What this does is create contrast. If you don't express interest, this creates mystery and excitement. At that point, you're sitting pretty. |
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08-10-2007, 09:47 PM
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| Asmoday hit the nail on the head. It breaks predictability. And I couldn't agree more. Also, this "It was pretty fun, but I don't think she likes me" part is belittleing and underestimating yourself. Are there any logical reasons to come up with this kind of conclusion? Whould you date yourself? If not, why? What you get will be an answer that you think are lacking compared to other guys. Work on whatever excuses you come up with. Fix them. Expand your comfort zone. Why? Because doing this, you will feel better about yourself and, therefore, will be able to project a better self-image.
__________________ “Once you incorporate the millionaire's mindset, set goals, chase your dreams with a burning desire and get motivated on a daily basis, success becomes inevitable.” by me. |
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08-10-2007, 10:16 PM
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08-12-2007, 06:05 PM
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| It's all within your mind. Eliminate negativity, jsot. Replace your mental pictures with positive ones, reinforce them, and slowly you will overcome your preconditioned mental patterns. You state that you aren't great at flirting yet. Therefore, you aren't aware of the flirting signs and clues that women give away to hint if there's any sort of attraction or interest present. You simply aren't laid back, relaxed and detached enough to pay attention to the details. Oh, and by the way, this very statement about "not being great at flirting yet" reinforces your limitations and insecurities. There's nothing good in doing harm to yourself. I can imagine how your mind wonders and tries to predict every possible scenario and replies that may or may not be engaged. Ultimately, you are focusing too much on what you shouldn't, reinforcing your insecurities, ultimately wasting and spreading your precious energies via unworthwhile means. Furthermore, you cannot be an observer of the whole scenario to gain a higher perspective and your conscious mind basically "ignores" even the possible cues that she is hinting, flirting toward you. There is no such thing as false hope. A hope is just a hope, that is. Your thought process might be more than likely wishful thinking but that's not bad. What you want to acquire is positive but realistic thinking, having complete faith and belief in your abilities to achieve the impossible. Then and only then false hope disappears, wishful thinking turns into goals with deadlines that are backed up by strong plans and strategies. Why get over here? If you are looking just for a random girlfriend or getting experience then by all means play the number games. Try, try, try. The experience that you'd gain will pay off later on throughout your life. But if you still want her --to be honest, you should never, never, never give up-- then there's no reason to get over her. In this thread we've given you a few dozen of valuable ideas and tips, go and apply them. Get in touch with her, and don't ever let your dreams get ruined. Best of luck.
__________________ “Once you incorporate the millionaire's mindset, set goals, chase your dreams with a burning desire and get motivated on a daily basis, success becomes inevitable.” by me. Last edited by MadHyeNa : 08-12-2007 at 06:07 PM. |
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08-13-2007, 05:47 AM
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| Man unless you want a female friend (which is fine, I need to get a few myself since I just moved) you have to build sexual tension. In and out, back and forth, I like you, I hate you, touch her, back off, tease her, compliment her, tell her about yourself, be evasive, kiss her, stop and move away, 2 steps forward, one step back. You know that awkward good feeling you have when you are talking to a girl and you both know that you like each other? That's the sexual tension I'm talking about. This stuff isn't that hard if you just do whatever it takes to maintain and amplify that feeling. All that stuff I said above is just the physical aspects of amplifying that feeling. If you focus on building sexual tension, escalation will take care of itself. Most guys focus on escalation, and because of this, they never get anywhere. Girls can sense where your focus lies, and they will be closed and unreceptive if they think you are focused on escalation. In the whole dating/seduction game there is a lot of magic that just can't be described on forums. You gotta get out there and learn for yourself. Just remember that it can and should be easy. Erock
__________________ "I just kind of expected to win" - Pete Sampras |
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08-13-2007, 12:51 PM
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First off: Did you ever pretend as a kid? Then you know how to flirt. I guarantee you, you're probably held back by fear, because you don't know how to use it. Last edited by Asmoday : 08-13-2007 at 12:51 PM. Reason: unfinished |
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