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| Social & Relationships Social skills, friends, dating, sex, seduction, monogamy, polyamory, marriage, alternative relationships, soul mates, parenting, children, family life, education |
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07-29-2007, 07:00 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1
 |  Being the other man sucks
Hi I met this girl about November 2006. We were both attracted to each other but it seems she wanted me to make a move. I kept my cool but she got frustrated and went back to her ex. After which we remain friends. Due to some innocent flirtations we became romantically involved. It is about 2 months since we were "seeing" each other. She made some suggestions that she wanted to leave her boyfriend but I see no attempts to do so. In addition they live together so she have to use the excuse of going to school to see me (she leaves school and visits my home or sometimes lie about going to school). Since school is out there is no more excuses and her boyfriend becomes very suspicious if she says she is going otherwise. The last two weeks both me and her are becoming very stressed. I am stressed out from not seeing her and she is angry that I am upset. Saying I knew what I was getting into I shouldn't be upset. Yesterday she told me she is giving me too much privileges(WHAT?). I have told myself that I deserve a girl that can give me 100% of her love. There is another part of my that wants to stay and it seems to be the stronger voice. I need to resolve this situation quickly b4 I am left with a broken heart. My guess is that I have 3 options
Another thing. Is there any LOA or Karmic repercussions for stealing or sleeping with another man's girl? |
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07-29-2007, 07:37 PM
| #2 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
| Quote:
Being the other man does suck... and unless you are a glutton for punishment... you should get out of that situation pronto... there's no future, no joy and no love in it... only pain and heartaches.... If you leave that girl and in turn she leaves her man to come to you... she's yours... if not, she never was... I know that's it's tough for you... so, I send you my best and all the luck in the world... Edit... I just noticed that this is your first post... so a very warm welcome to you... and hope to see you often... . Last edited by Shamou; 07-29-2007 at 07:40 PM. | |
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07-30-2007, 06:38 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Detroit
Posts: 772
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Quote: "Yesterday she told me she is giving me too much privileges(WHAT?)" That sounds like code for "I'm about to cut off sex with you." I'd get out of this relationship quickly. Think about this: she's already cheating on her current SO, so what makes you think she'd ever be faithful to you? |
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07-30-2007, 06:54 PM
| #5 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 22,520
 | Quote:
I don't know about LoA or karmic repercussions, but if she's cheating on him with you, she'll probably cheat on you with the next guy. | |
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08-04-2007, 05:27 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Dayton, OH
Posts: 112
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It doesn't sound like you (or she, or the boyfriend for that matter) are happy in this situation. You have no control over their actions, but you do have control over yours. My guess is if you let her go (gently and peacefully) and spend sometime focusing on your self and your own growth that things will work out--either with her or with someone else. The universe has a way of smiling on those who follow their true path--and I'm guessing being "the other man" isn't yours. P.S. For the record, the girl-friend belongs to herself, not the other dude...... Last edited by lizthefair; 08-04-2007 at 05:29 PM. Reason: added P.S. |
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08-05-2007, 11:22 AM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Australia
Posts: 36
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While it is true that perfectly decent and worthwhile partners may meet up with their next partner before they've left the last. It's also true that such people will then end their existing relationship asap and without having secret rendevous that they then need to cover up. This is a no-win situation for you. You do deserve better than that crap. At best she's too insecure and immature to do the right thing. At worst she's enjoying having two men and not being honest with either one. Do either of those scenarios sound like good news to you? You know what to do. Your confusion is only there because in a way you'd rather think it's not really happening. Go with your clarity, the only regret you'll have is wasting so much time in this situation. |
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08-09-2007, 11:52 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Montreal
Posts: 32
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Having been involved in the seduction community, I've seen this type of question asked all the time. Clinging to an unfavourable situation like this is a symptom of a scarcity mindset. Think about it this way: If you had 20 women of earthshaking ambition and beauty to choose from right now, plus this girl, would you still be hung up on her? Probably not. And while I'm choosing an extreme analogy (because I've never had *that* kind of selection either  ), the point is that there are so many options out there, if you're willing to put yourself on the line to find out. If you want an idea for a 30-day challenge to help you see for yourself just what the world holds, to help you rise above and avoid situations like this, try social skydiving.
Last edited by bradb; 08-09-2007 at 11:56 PM. |
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08-10-2007, 01:07 AM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Olympia, Washington
Posts: 462
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Honestly, unless a girl is engaged or married, she is up for grabs. Maybe a long term boyfriend (a year or more) and I would be cautious, but the way I feel is that if a girl is willing to cheat with you now, she will cheat with someone else furthur down the road when their relationship is even more serious. Go out and meet tons of girls. There is like a 99% chance that you will forget this girl exists, but in the rare case that you don't she will probably have broken up with this chump and be available by then. Plus you will know that you truly love her because you have met so many different girls. Erock |
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